In Defense Of Cocksuckers

You hear it all the time. In fact, I recently said it in a post here about baseball umpires.

"How the actual fuck can that cocksucker call that a fucking strike???"

Yikes. Why so hard on cocksuckers, Ferrerman? That's not nice!

It isn't. Anyone who has ever received a blowjob probably realizes that it was a very nice thing for that person to do. It is widely acknowledged that bad head is better than no head at all. Recipients are grateful. And they should be. When someone cares enough to take your penis in their mouth, you should be thrilled at that and with them for doing so. It's one of the nicest things someone can do for you and, subsequently, one of the nicest things you can do for someone. So, why do we denigrate cocksuckers so much?

Well, the easy answer is that it's something you wouldn't do so you (literally) look down on anyone who does. OK. But, why do we voice this so often and with such contempt? It's a guy thing to say but women say it too. It's a common part of the vernacular today in public, in film and damn near on television. I've heard women say it as well for years, about each other, about men and about situations. One of the funniest women I've ever know would say "Suck my dick!" to other people even though she most definitely did not have a dick to suck. I LOL'ed the first time I heard Karen say that. By her own admission, she was a talented cocksucker herself. Yet, she seemed to be denigrating her own actions every time she said this. To her, it was something she enjoyed doing but she also seemed to be declaring to to be a "bad" thing that "bad people" do. Maybe. It might have been her owning it in a way like black people calling themselves "niggers".

It isn't always meant as a literal pejorative either. You can say it without it literally meaning you think that person sucks dicks- just as if to say you don't like them or what they may be doing at the time. That's like with me and the umpires, other drivers or many internet posters.

However, when you do say it disparagingly you are actually belittling the act itself whether you give, receive or both. Kinda odd, don't you think? Especially when said around women, by men. Like saying, "Honey, that guy is a cocksucker! Oh- it's OK that you are too but, not that guy..." So, the act is generally considered a gay thing- something that straight guys don't do- but have done to them- by women. It's a bad thing when done by guys to guys but a truly awesome thing when women do it! Just so you know, honey!

I've never been gay or anti-gay but, yeah, I have disparaged gays for what they do. I don't really care though. Just because doing something doesn't appeal to me doesn't mean others shouldn't do it. I'm not the judge here. Over time, with luck, we evolve instead of devolve about things in life. Condemning people for the type of very popular sex they participate in is pretty disingenuous when you participate too, just by receiving.

I was thinking about this last week when International Bisexuality Day came and went without much fanfare other than a "trend" on Facebook and Yahoo. If you missed it, now you know what it's like to be late for Happy Hour and miss out on 2 for 1 at the bar. In my youth I thought nothing of women being bisexual as I figured it came natural to them. Women are soft and sweet and desirable and why wouldn't they desire each other? That's a pretty common male take. The common take though for men who might play both sides of the street is that they are really gay. Like my old tale of Jimmy W. dealing on Richard, whom we worked with: "Richard, you can work all your life and maybe no one calls you "a painter". But, you go out there in the parking lot and suck one dick and everybody is going to call you a 'cocksucker'!" It was pretty good, break-time humor. Even Richard laughed. All things being equal, men and women can be bisexual. Why not? It can be argued that they do unto others as they would like to be done themselves. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

We need to stop and think about what we say, who we say it too, and how we mean it so that we don't unintentionally hurt others. It's more than just being politically correct. Show some motherfucking courtesy!

Oh damn... We'll leave that one alone for now...