Monday, August 30, 2010

What the????

Last week former GOP chairman, Ken Mehlmen, announced that he is gay. I recall a time when such a thing was a shocker. Hopefully, someday we can all enjoy a time when such a thing isn't necessary or newsworthy.

But, right now it is newsworthy and kind of a shocker because the guy was one of those republicans leading the party against gay marriage or any other gay rights, all while- I'm gonna guess- sucking men's dicks.... That's a little incongruous. A tad disingenuous at the very least.

Just like Homer Simpson prefers his homosexuals "flaming", I prefer *mine* to be compassionate. (Ferrerman note: I don't actually *have* any homosexuals. You, uh, haven't heard anything, have you?)

So, I wasn't shocked by Mehlmen's admission. I've *busted* at least three people in the threads who I had no idea were gay because there posts and attitudes were so fucking far right on guns, politics, smoking etc that, well, I just couldn't imagine them being compassionate about anything. And by "busting" I don't mean I outed them in any way. Their sexuality is not my business (beyond this post) nor is it the business of other posters. Two of the three, were passionately working to take away the rights of others on one thread and then found defending gay rights on another. And on the "gay" threads i pointed this out to them. If there were a blush icon on the 'net, these two would be crimson.

Of all the groups of people on this earth, who is more persecuted right now than gays? Though every culture has then, every culture also hates them. They can hide in the closet like Ken Mehlmen did but, how many come out in public against their *own people* like Mehlmen did (while party chairman)? But worse, how many other gays are out there (but not being out) and raging against immigrants, Muslims, liberals etc, spewing hate for others?

Maybe it's the convenience of the smokescreen of party of hate? It disgusts me. If you've ever been persecuted by anyone for anything, shouldn't your eyes be opened to the plight of others? And not only your eyes but your mind? You walked in your shoes and now you want to criticize the footwear of others?

Sunday, August 29, 2010


They hate us. They hate America. They want America to fail and they revel in every defeat they perceive in their evil, twisted minds. It disgusts me that they are allowed to live here, in the country they hate so much.

I speak, of course, of tea-baggers.

You thought I went south for a second there, eh? Ha! Sorry.

Teabaggers, *patriots* aren't much different from the Muslim terrorists they sometimes rail against. They have more in common with them than they will ever admit. Both want America to fail so that they can take over. Both are working towards America to fail so they can take over. And, to an extent, both are doing it.... for God.

Fucking ironic, huh?

Freedom OF religion also means freedom FROM religion. Separation of church and state, means that, although we are a largely Christian nation, that doesn't make us "a Christian nation". The founders seemed very certain about religious majority NOT ruling the country. They were kinda progressive in that respect....

If you don't think anything else the founding fathers ever said was righteous, profound or from God's lips to their ears, you have to respect that they took the time and had the foresight to understand that NO church should run this country. They knew what they were talking about. See, there had been this thing with England....

But, curious how the *right* in this country, all wrapped up in the flag as they are, embraces religion..... as they attack America and America's latest enemies, the Muslims, for their religion.

The Koran means as little to me as the Bible. If either means something to you, great. Just don't use either against me. It's wrong, it's rude and, well, it unconstituitional to do so.

I read alot lately about the Koran and Sharia law. Evidently, according to Sharia law, a husband is allowed to beat his wife for various infractions. (This has nothing to do with spankings so, whew, I'm covered!)

That sounds like our "rule of thumb". Up through the 19th century, it was permissable for a man to beat his wife (or children) as long as he used a stick .... no bigger than his thumb! Yeah, THAT'S where that expression came from! I guess that, at the time, it was the Christian thing to do. And I think it was based on something from the bible....

Anyone who lets a book written two thousand years rule their life needs.... such a book, I guess. Life's not hard enough that you need guideance from people who, though they roamed the earth with dinosaurs could not see the value of them in fuel to power automobiles at the time?? Your local book store has a full rack of self help books, each one better than the last and all, an easier read than the Bible. Though I'm not a communist, Marx or Engles nailed it when they said "religion is the opiate of the masses" and, that, "if God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him". Religion is designed to keep people in line. That's probably not a bad thing....seemed like a good idea at the time.... then they figured out it was a money-maker.....

And, it's control, which is what everybody wants in their life. If you gain control, the money follows. But, it's all about the money. Don't kid yourself.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

If you don't start none, there won't be none....

That's a familiar refrain down south. Often it's an admonition for someone to behave.

"If you don't start none, there won't be none."

This is to say that there might be trouble, Johnny, but, don't you be the one to start it. You'll be that much better of a person for it.

But, others I noticed, would say the same phrase but put the emPHAsis on the wrong syllABLES.

"If YOU, don't start none, THERE won't BE none!"

In other words, let's get this party started!

This is the way I look at the news media these days. FOX, of course, is fucking horrible and clearly intent on creating news rather than reporting it. MSNBC and CNN aren't much better. The cable news giants are all about opinion rather than reporting. I realize that they have 24 hours to fill, seven days a week and you can only say so much about our two wars or a bombing in the Phillipines and so it's easy to fall in to the trap of speculating about the news.

I don't know which came first here, the NFL pre-game shows with a bunch of ex-players sitting around wondering what might happen in the upcoming game or a bunch of ex-politicians prognosticating about what might happen on the political field. It's the same crap.

So, no, I do not have a preferred venue for *news* these days. Hell, I don't even trust drunks and small children anymore. It seems all of them have a book to sell as well.

The *news* whether it be local or cable or even network, seems to be all about telling me how I feel about an issue and then asking me how I feel about it and would I might like to text or twitter....

Perhaps I'm officially old but, Walter Cronkite didn't do that. When he took off his glasses, rubbed his eyes and calmly told us that John F. Kennedy was dead, he didn't ask us how we felt about that. He didn't tell us. He knew. We knew.

Nobody knows anymore. Nobody thinks for themself. They think OF themself but not FOR. It doesn't matter if it's the cute blondes on FOX or the cute brunettes on MSNBC. They are asking you how you feel about what they just told you, TO feel.

That's not news. That's pornography.

Friday, August 27, 2010


Several years ago when the ex phoned me to announce that she was re-marrying on the next Saturday that June, I laughed and said, "Happy birthday to me!"

"Oh, is THAT your birthday?" she replied, knowing it was EXACTLY my birthday.

Puh-leeze. I'll venture that every female, dedicated non-reader of this work knows the birthday of EVERY current, ex or future ex boyfriend or husband. You know you do because you had to do that special birthday thing us guys desire so.

Of course, I'm probably talking about a birthday cake.


So, when Glenn Beck says he didn't have Martin Luther King's "I Had a Dream" speech (47th anniversary thereof) in mind when he planned his big deal, I'm inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt. But, when the fucking bitch not only steals the day but the Lincoln Memorial location(!) this officially makes him as awful a human being as either one of my one and a half ex-wives.

A lot of us fellas are bad about personal dates in our lives. I think, for example that both of my one-and-a-half marriages transpired on June fifth (different years). I think but, I don't know.I think I fucked up one night with #2 and mentioned that #1 *might* have been on the similar June day.

"Isn't that funny, honey...."

She didn't appreciate irony much. In fact, she was really pissed. So, as it stands now, the half-wife, *may* have also been a June five bride. I don't know and it doesn't really matter. The mere thought was the beginning of the end.

So, Glenn Beck, picking 8-28 AND the Lincoln Memorial on the 47th anniversay of the King, "I Had A Dream" speech is no accident. I really gotta believe the insane bitch did it on purpose.

I think I know from whence I speak....

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Scenes from a suburban Porch

About a week ago I noted on my Facebook page how charmed I was by a young girl who carried with her a 13 gallon trash bag as she walked the family Collie. Cute kid. She was prepared for ANYTHING.

There's a quote about integrity being doing the right thing when no one is looking. I think I got that right- were you reading? You know- you pick up your dogs poop even when you are reasonably certain there is no Ferrerman (or anyone else) sitting on their porch. You do it because.... that's what you are supposed to do.

In my quiet suburban village, it's not so much dog poop and irresponsible pet owners that are a problem but, teenage boys. No one cleans up after their boys when they go out for walks! Why is that?

Now, mind you, to my knowledge these boys are not pooping on lawns all over town. Well, I HOPE not. I don't know. I don't want to know....

But, I do know that they are peeing all over town. And really, I understand that. When you gotta go, ya gotta go. Been there, done that. Discretion being the better part of valor and urinary functions, you find a place behind a bush and let it flow. But, one night last Fall I stepped out on to porch to see a teenage boy walking from the side of my house, in the darkness. His hands were at his side so I knew he wasn't carrying a TV or stereo equipment from my house or the neighbors. He had been taking a leak. No doubt.

But, I fuck with people because I can and I asked him what the fuck he was doing, boy.

He mumbled something about nothing and, without a look, got into a mini-van with three really cute chicks. The girls giggled and the van sped away. In their haste, they forgot one very drunk boy who staggered out from the next house down, past me, as he tried to catch up with the van.

I remember thinking: Well, I'm officially old now and I'm glad I'm no longer in Memphis. It's one thing to be a cranky old man shaking his fist at those damn kids. It's another to be carrying a 9mm and fearing the night.

I wasn't armed that night. I was glad I didn't need to be.

Kinda nice after so many years in Memphis where anything could happen, to be in a place where nothing really happens.

On the porch last night, I heard a group of boys approaching. Kids. One of them said the oddest thing.

"You know how when we rap we say "yo-yo-yo"? When Spanish people rap they say "ay-ay-ay".

Odd because, these were very white kids. I don't think of "we" and white kids when I think of rap. But, kids today....

I was actually impressed at his language. He didn't say "spicks" or "niggers".

"Spanish people"!

Anyway, another boy in the passel of eight or so announced he was going to take a piss, "right here". I thought: "Here we go. Come piss by the side of my porch. You'll get a lit cigarette in your face (hopefully) and an old man saying: 'What the fuck are you doing, PUNK!?"

Well, that didn't happen. Evidently the kid pissed from the sidewalk into the neighbors bushes. No harm, no foul really.They walked on across the street to the one boys house, oblivious to me in the darkness of my porch. They milled around a bit, made a phone call and moved o in the direction from which they had come.

Now, this is where it got interesting. Two younger, smaller boys on bikes rode by. I don't know this but, it sounded like the same kid who referrred to "Spanish people" suddenly called out "NIGGERS, BITCHES, HO'S!" at the boys on the bikes.

The kids on the bikes slowed a bit and retorted: "You got a problem?" To which the other boy replied "99 bitch!"

I have no idea what that means. I assume it's ghetto. I was just glad it was the suburbs of Chicago. These kids wouldn't last long in Memphis.

I was impressed with the younger ones. They slowed but they knew they were out numbered. There was no shame in riding on. A kid mouthed off. They responded. Life went on. It could have been a lot worse. I'm glad it wasn't.

Monday, August 16, 2010


I'm beat. I admit it. I got no more and I cannot win.

I cannot beat Craig. No one can!

"What are you talking about, Ferrerman?" someone might ask. "You cannot beat Craig? YOU? You took on and defeated, Angelique770, one of the internets foremost fake therapists. You beat her like a rented, red-headed step-mule! AND her gang too! AND the hired guns in her employ. You made Topixtown safe for citizen posters of all races, creeds and colors. The mere mention of your name in Topixtown sends what's left of the dregs and ninnies into panic.

And you are saying you cannot beat Craig?!!??"

Yes, that's what I'm saying. Thanks for paying attention. No, I cannot beat Craig and I must say that no one can.

I'll tell you why.

Craig is a fucking idiot.

Ya know how W.C. Fields said, "You can't cheat an honest man"? Well, I'm saying that you can't beat a fucking idiot. Sure, I *beat* him on my worst day. I can phone the beatings in and beat him. I post better ASLEEP than he does AWAKE. If I died tomorrow, I would STILL out-post him for a hundred years. Is it because I'm that good? Well, yeah, but, it's mostly because he's a fucking idiot. And, you can't beat a fucking idiot.

I'm not doing this alone either. I'm fighting alongside the finest posters to ever hit the reply keys. Dem- he's our Luca Brazi. He fears no one. Hegel- the finest all around poster EVER. Repug sniper- OY VEY! Sel- pound for pound (and still losing weight) the best lesbian poster, bar none. Curly1- on the DL but, resting up for the finals in November. Leo- hubbalabubbala (and I'm still lacking a redhead on my resume....) And not to forget Kooky, Fetch boy and my own pal, Larry Meber.

If this were baseball, we'd be the '27 Yankees but, we can't beat the '62 Mets? If this were a UFC fight, I, we, would be standing over a knocked down, drug out Craig. He'd be toothless, bloody, both eyes blackened, broken ribs... the ref holding our hands up in victory....

....and Craig would be laughing his ass off at how bloody he had gotten our hands.... thus *winning* the fight....

See, kids, Craig is too fucking stoopid to realize he's been beat. The guy declares victory with every post he pounds out. Every cut-n' paste from FOXNOISE= VICTORY FOR CRAIG! Every- well, you get the idea.

No, I can't beat him. No, we can't beat him. No one can beat Craig. He beat himself long ago. He's just too stupid to realize it. Like a 3 year old who covers his eyes and believes himself to be invisible, so goes Craig. Failure, is not an option for Craig. Neither is making coherent posts....

Craig will see this blog post as a *victory* for Craig. A speed-reader with a 160 IQ, he will read the title and understand that and that, will suffice for him. Another notch on his keyboard. Ferrerman goes down in flames. He'll wish more than two people read my blog then....

And so it goes....

Friday, August 6, 2010

Duplicity, The Mother if Invention

Back in the day, when Angelique 770 was reigning over the ninnies and the underclass of dregs, I used to picture her faceless self with one of those bluetooth head sets on scouring the threads for posts by Ferrerman or other undesirables. It might have gone something like this:

"Ferrerman on todays Amy thread! He's talking about spanking bottoms! Get on it!"

To wit some ninnie would respond: "Yes, your majesty, it is so!"

Then a *student* or *lackey* would spring into action. Another one would offer her a fresh glass of bubble tea.

I'm probably not too far off in that. I don't know if she had that technology. I do recall her calling people "OFFSHORE! NOW!" on the threads when I'd be in disguise and, well, trolling. (Ferrerman note: I don't do much serious trolling. It's usually quite apparent that it's "me" by tone, humor and writing style. In the old days, the Westchester ISP was a dead giveaway. I was pretty much the only person in Westchester with a computer. Not true now and Westchester is no longer my fake town. Again, I choose noms de Topix according to the topic at hand or to tie in a joke. Its that simple). Most of the time I'm just Ferrerman. I like it that way. Simplicity can also be the mother of invention.

But, with some people, trolling gets quite complicated. Some have whatever insanity it takes to create and become a new persona. After several months of investigation, I recently found the elusive Raptor that A770 was searching high and low for. NOVA! Yep. Good old Cub/Bear and GOP fan, nova. My old punch! Jeez it was fun to get that guy fired up about racist republicans. He was a lot of fun. But, as the story goes, he had a big fight with race- some bullshit about race posting something ugly on his wife's blog or maybe it was that Sox fan/twobit *sportswriter* whose name escapes me now. I don't know. But, it seemed to me at the time to be a put up job, a fake fight. I mean, even the regs now fight EVERY fucking day about some stupid thing but, they always come back. Nova only came back long enough to say hello, briefly fight with race and then go away again. He was just checking in. More dog and pony show.

So, on the surface, nova left the gang in a fit of rage to "work on his marriage" which had been damaged by race' or Nada Surf- that's the dudes name! (He was a lot of fun in his time) Well, if there were trouble in the nova household, I hope they worked it out. I wouldn't wish speed-dating on anyone.

But, about the time nova left, "redheadlovessmallmen" appeared. This poster dogged out Angela for her preference for penis' under 8 inches. Then that poster seemed to morph into "a770isaho" and dogged out A770 for her pretentious *therapist* act. And later, "crunchy bacon" appeared and seemed to have it in for that know-it-all, TamoraRose.

Some of it was funny stuff. The thing was, none of the girls took it to heart. They seemed to brush it aside as if it were nothing. Please. These are NOT thick-skinned people. If they were armed, they'd be shooting each other every day for disagreements about procedure at four-way stop signs. I wasn't buying that they would let any of these personas slide. Even more telling, they were nice to him.

Crunchy bacon seemed to be joining me in battle against 770. *Seemed* to be... I noticed that they actually got along well. She would accuse him of being Raptor, implore him to come back to the fold and yada-fucking-yada. More dog and pony show! Clearly they were going through the motions. Gee, for what purpose...?

Crunchy started posting a while back with my friends on my political threads. I had never trusted the guy under any name but it particularly perplexed me because a few months back, I had called him out in the threads. He bowed up (as much as one can in the threads) and advised me that I didn't want any part of him. So I did what you do ('specially down south) when somebody bows up on you). I said, bring it.

He didn't bring it. Evidently, there was nothing to be brung.

I was concerned (but not much) that I had tipped my hand. I didn't know who exactly he was but, I knew he wasn't right. But, keep your friends close and your enemies closer, they say. There's always one sure way to bring a man down.

A woman!

We didn't even have to do anything. "H" is my friend. She's about the best poster I've ever had the pleasure of posting with, an excellent fighter without being vulgar or mean. There's just something about her that drives ordinary men wild. Now, as a Ferrerman and a FB friend of hers, I'm here to tell you that she is VERY spankable. I know about stuff like that as I am a Ferrerman. But, also as a Ferrerman, I know that H is very married and very loyal to her husband and family. I'm quite respectful of that. Kinda protective too. She's my friend. Spankable bottoms may come and go but, friends can go on forever. It's good to be Ferrer and know these things.

Crunchy was quite taken with H. Through the miracle of Topix PMing, he tried to formulate a liasion with H. Yes, he was married and yes he knew she was but....

H said no. Crunchy soon slinked away. H and I compared notes on Crunchy. Well, this is Topix bullsht but Crunchy and nova sure do have a lot in common! Elmer Fudd too. Elmer (whom in a post Tamora mentioned it was hard for her to remember which was the *good* Elmer and the *bad* Elmer as there are two) recently lauded me for my take on the illegal immigrant dilemma. Elmer noted that he doesn't agree with Ferrerman on anything but, that one issue. Hey, bro- Cubs and Bears! That admission kinda cinched it.

So, what the fuck here? Ferrerman is so important that people feel the need to go deep undercover to infiltrate him? Wait- I don't like how THAT sounds... But, I didn't mean it THAT way so, I'll go on. Really- why all the subtrefuge? Why ladies in red and parcels passed in alleys in Prague and phony fights and people wanting to join "team Ferrerman"? Let me go all Joe Pesci here: What the fuck is so important about me!!?? I'm just a poster on Topix, when the day is done. It's just something I do. It isn't my life, it shouldn't be yours.

And, crunchy/nova/whoever- how do you know I'm not Hegel?

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


Believe it or not, I have some Topix friends who are not liberal democrats. They don't describe themselves as republicans or tea-partiers. They just happen to be people who hate Barak Obama and believe that EVERYTHING he does is wrong....


Well, one of them sent me a chainmail today. It seemed, on the surface, to be about a German woman I had never heard of who had performed an act of valiant bravery in Warsaw Poland during WWII. In a nutshell, she risked life and limb to spirit out as many Jewish babies and young children as she could, knowing what the Nazi's had in store for them. Eventually she was caught and beaten for her work.

The jist of the chainmail *seemed* to be that, still, after 63 years, she had not been awarded for her efforts with a Nobel Peace Prize.

Well, I don't think that's why she did it in the first place....

But, the chainmail noted, Al Gore and Barak Obama HAD been awarded Nobel honors!

Neither one won their awards for their respective WWII records. In fact, neither served in WWII. I'm thinking Al Gore was too young and I know Obama had not been born yet. So, yeah, neither man did a fucking thing heroic in WWII. I will concede that. That doesn't make them "pussies" or "draft dodgers". It just makes them "not alive at the time".

The chainmail also included a heart-warming comic strip, one that I don't keep up with, but probably should. In the strip, a little girl is sitting on a park bench with an old man. She notices the tatoo on his arm and remarks that it isn't very interesting nor very well done and that it's just a bunch of numbers. He tells the child that he got it when he was about her age and then tells her why he was given it.

Six million plus Jews, Gypsies, homosexuals and assorted other "undesirables" were murdered by the Nazis. That's the standard figure and it's probably low. And it does not include the Russians killed in battle against the Nazi's or murdered by Stalin or the millions of others who perished fighting tyranny but, the chainmail put that figure at 20 million for the Russians.

The little girl begins to cry as she imagines the horror of war and hatred.

She asks the old man if he keeps the tatoo to remember what happened.

No, he says. It is to remind YOU of what happened...

Very powerful stuff. As I write it, I'm welling up with tears.

So then, heart strings properly tugged, the chainmail goes on to note that Islam denies the holocaust. Well, I don't know about that. I know that they deny pork chops and they are very serious about dress codes for women but, I'm not certain what their stance is on the holocaust. They MIGHT officially believe it never happened and, if so, fuck 'em. This is very recent, very well documented history. For anyone to deny it is insane. That puppet president in Iran comes to mind. But, so do American Nazi's and other idiots who fail to see the vast amount of evidence- much of it documented by the Nazi perpetrators themselves. It happened. It should never happen again. I promise you that I get that part.

What I don't get is how Gore and Obama figure into this. And Nobel prizes and noble German women of yore who have gone unrecognized for their valiant sacrifices. I don't get the connection. When you factor in Islam, I get further lost. Are Al Gore and Barak Obama conspiring with Islam to kill Jews and Russians? Did Gore and Obama, at the very least, conspire to win Nobel Peace Prizes and in doing so, sweep the leg of a deserving German woman? Maybe we should remember the holocaust to make sure it never happens again? So, what is it?

Well, it's chainmail. Mikey in Memphis sent me one the other day about natural selection and stupid people. I *got* that one. Amongst other things, don't stick your head in a sewer grate lest you get stuck and a storm comes along and drowns you.

Yes, we should remember the holocaust and make sure it never happens again, to anyone. ANYONE.

We should also remember the populist leader who brought us the holocaust via his 1930's vision of Germany. We should look into the eyes of populist leaders like Beck, Palin and Bachman and notice the glimmer of evil. And never forget! There is something afoot my friends, both real and imaginary. It is the hate on the right and it's on the rise. For now it's on the internet in the form of "political" websites, Topix chat forums and chainmail but it's seeping into our countrymen's hearts and minds and growing every day. Why, and why NOW, I don't really know.

I don't guess they didn't really know back in Germany in the 30's either. But, then it happened...