Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Nail Happy

When you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

The proposed law in Arizona allowing discrimination of gays based on religious beliefs is a hammer for what we construction veterans call "the nail happy", guys who think that more nails will hold better. I saw Dan Savage point out last night that the way the law is constructed, a Muslim cab driver could refuse service to passengers who have been drinking, because his religion forbids alcohol.

I bet the bill's authors didn't think about that!I'm pretty sure they didn't want Muslim opinions at all.

Well, of course they didn't. First off, the law is unconstitutional. And stupid. Congress can't make laws respecting an establishment of religion and neither can schmucks in Arizona or any of the other states. That's the legal part. If you consider yourself a "strict constitutionalist" like many reichtards do, you can't like the law.

And it is stupid because, how do you know that someone is gay? Unless they tell you, have to guess. If you have to guess, you have to imagine. If you have to imagine, you have to picture them having gay sex.

Eeeewwww! What's the matter with you thinking about stuff like that? Sheesh! There oughta be a law...

Really. I have people like this in my extended family. You probably do too. These folks can sit around and discuss whether celebrities are gay as if it's a fantasy football league. How 'bout that George Clooney? You don't sleep with that many women unless you're trying to hide something! Know what I mean?

People really think like that. It's all spin. A bit of projection too. If your religion wants to expand, you have to figure rival religions want to as well. Except for the Shakers, that is.And you have to presume that every religion is as devious as yours is and you have to beat them to the punch. That's why red states are stumbling all over the legal system to keep Sharia Law from taking hold. That First Amendment just isn't strong enough. Let's reinforce it with 16d nails! Just start hammering....

The bill is on Governor Jan Brewer's desk and she has until this Saturday to decide if she will sign it or not. If she doesn't- if she chooses not to decide- she still has made a choice. The bill would become law. She may go that way thinking it minimizes her involvement and makes it an executive no-decision. If it becomes law, it will be immediately appealed on constitutional grounds. The law's writers probably want this. Kansas had a similar law pass it's House but die in the Senate. Maybe Arizona will be the huckleberry?

I'm sure there are nice people in Arizona. There's just not enough of them to vote intelligent, clear-thinking politicians into office is all. That's why they have Sheriff Dickhead, Jan Brewer and John McCain. Did you know that Arizona gave up a Super Bowl rather than recognize Martin Luther King day as a holiday? In 1993 the SB was moved from Arizona to Pasadena because the state refused to have MLK day. It cost the $500 million in revenue. These are some hard-headed haters. Phoenix is up for another Super Bowl in 2016 and the NFL is warning them once again that they may lose the game. Maybe they just hate The Big Game and will go to extraordinary lengths to not hold it? That's kinda gay, don't ya think?

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Economics For Dummies

This might sound radical, outside of the south, but, if raising the minimum was a bad thing, what if we eliminated the minimum and enslaved all the people currently working at the minimum? Wouldn't that be a huge boon to the economy? If less is better, nothing has just got to be best!

Prior to the Civil War, Vicksburg. Mississippi was the wealthiest city in the country, due to the cotton trade and the nonexistent payroll of slavery. Do the math on that. It's hard to argue with wealth. And this time there won't be the overhead of actually buying someone. They are already here for one and there's no shipping and handling involved this time.  And even better, for you folks trying to play the race card- minimum wage workers come in all colors, from all walks of life. It will be fair this time around. Pretty much....

You see, America is not looking to pick on any one race. As republican historians have pointed out, the slavery of old was started by black slave traders themselves and actually worked out well for the blacks because they lived pretty well (better than in Africa where their own people were capturing them and selling them into slavery!) and, thus, fared much better here than there where they had no opportunities and no wages. So, even back then, slavery wasn't about slavery.

Then, as now, it was about economics. We are all seeing it now more than ever: Paying people costs money! That's basic economics. You eliminate payroll (the bulk of it)  and profits soar! Tens of millions of people currently make the minimum wage. Do the math yourself because I went to Math School on a basketball scholarship but, minimum wage workers work anywhere from 20 to 70 hours a week. Times that by $7.25 an hour times umpteen tens of millions of employees and...that's many millions of dollars that would be better spent as bonuses for CEO's.

Here's the thing. You can barely survive in America on the minimum wage. Any CEO or republican congressman will tell you that there is no way The Greatest Country In The World can afford to pay more so, there's nowhere to go but down. We can't lay everybody off and we already tried illegal immigrants so, it's got to be slavery.

And don't you worry about your own, current, well-paying job. Sure, a kid just out of college can do your job- maybe not as well, yet- but certainly a lot cheaper. But, this is America- we take care of our own. Don't you worry. We'll find a place for you in our organization. Are you handy with a whip?

Friday, February 21, 2014

Spanks for nothing!

What the schpank is going on here? Here's a rather spankable woman to put things in perschpanktive:

What's the matter with people? Kansas just reluctantly struck down a bill that would have allowed discrimination against gays based on religious beliefs. No, you can't stone gays to death- yet- but, if your religion is against them, you are free to be against them, regardless of anti-discrimination laws to the contrary. It's like Stand Your Ground but for hating gays instead of blacks. No, you can't shoot them- yet. That bill passed the Kansas House but not the Senate. They're gonna try again. Arizona went ahead and passed a similar bill. It awaits Governor Jan Brewer's signature. That crazy bitch is fully capable of signing it. We'll see.

It's hilariously fascinating to me that these new laws are brought to us by the folks who tout "small government". 

You've got to be fucking kidding me! That is like Senator Bob Corker saying that government should not interfere in the free market- picking winners and losers- and then 'winning' a vote against a union in a Tennessee VW plant via lies and intimidation, and possibly losing future VW investment elsewhere in the American south.  That is some comically small government. It meshes well with the tragically small government that feels the need to protect religious people from gays but not children from the wrath of adults.

That brings us to the unfortunate news about spankings. We're not talking about the good, fun kind between grown men and women. That's for another day....

The small government crowd is legislating the beating of children. They are expanding the powers of parents and those who may be in charge of children, to wail on them. With parental permission, of course- for now.... It's a sort of Stand Your Ground for parents.

Some people- of the teapublican persuasion- feel that the national and societal ills are due to a lack of discipline of today's youth. It's not a new concept. You hear reichtards complaining about kids getting trophies 'just for participating' in Little League and parents being 'afraid to discipline their kids for fear of Child Services' arresting them. Bullshit. Getting a plastic trophy for showing up to LL is not causing any kid to shoot up his school. But, it just could not be the gun culture, right? The parents who deal with CPS are the ones who (surprise!) beat their kids and mistreat them in other ways. It couldn't be the cycle of abuse repeating, right?

The subject of "kids today(!)" has come up on every paint crew I've ever been on.

"I got my ass beat every fucking day and I turned out OK!"

A statement like that is accompanied by much nodding and verbal agreement. Except the guy saying it is not "OK". He's an asshole. And a doper. And I could go around the circle and see drunks and drugs and prison and jail time for every man nodding his head.

I got beat as a child, a lot. It taught me that weak people hit. Anger is one letter away from danger. Hitting children while angry teaches children to be violent when angry. Hitting children why calm is just stupid and psychotic. Violence isn't the answer with people you are supposed to love. How could it be?

There is a backlash against anti-bullying sentiment from the teapublicans. Some of the brightest idiots on FOXnews have questioned whether we're being too soft on our kids here in Sparta America. And then we get laws promoting the beating of children. These kids grow up. And, in 31 states so far, you are allowed to Stand Your Ground when you feel threatened by someone. It is encouraged. What are they training us for?

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Senator Bob Corker, The Honorable Corksoaker From Tennessee

I LOL'ed at this:

So much of what happens in our lives is a direct result of our history. WWII and storming of the beaches at Normandy is a well-worn metaphor for the struggle of life itself. Of late though, the metaphor usually precedes some conservative crap about our fathers/grandfathers not fighting and dying for men to be able to marry other men or for wealthy people to be taxed, just for being successful. The truth is that none of these things were issues at the time of the D-Day, Normandy invasion. That they would be considered, is some very abstract thought that makes for a cute commercial about inexpensive shaving cream.

Does anyone, for example, think that our dad's and granddads fought on Omaha beach so that a German automobile manufacturer could come to the American south and have low-paid, non-union labor build their vehicles? I don't even think Senator Bob Corker (Corksoaker, Tn.) could think that abstractly. In WWII our men were fighting first to stay alive, but primarily to keep America free of Hitler's rule. They weren't thinking of men marrying each other or black president's bypassing a do-nothing congress via executive orders.

Ironically, the notion of Germans manufacturing anything in America was fightin' words at the time!

Who would have thunk though that today, the Germans would be the good guys here and Americans the bad?

I don't know that VW is completely innocent here but their background in Germany is one of working with the unions. They welcomed the UAW into the plant in Chattanooga to speak to the workers about joining. So, there was that. Corksoaker Bob Corker and other conservative republicans would not go that far. In a WWII analogy they would be in the bunkers on the cliffs machinegunning the Americans (metaphorically speaking) who were fighting for Union representation. Now, Is that any way to treat American workers?

In the American south and to conservative legislators all over America, yes. yes it is. Corksoaker Senator Corker would have us believe that THE American worker despises unions and the representation of workers that they offer. America is chock full of  rugged individualists who, if they want to better their position in life, go in and talk to the boss man all by their self. If the bossman opts to not pay them more, they are free to go down the road until they find suitable employment or their hat floats, whichever comes first. That is how Jesus and the other founders intended it if I'm hearing Foxnews right.

If the United Auto Workers (UAW) had been successful at organizing the Chattanooga VW plant, other plants and factories in the south may have opted for union representation too. This would only lead to better wages and benefits for more workers. We had that right here in America after our guys came home from WWII. We won that war, by the way. You wouldn't think so now but, the American worker never enjoyed more prosperity than in the 35 years after WWII ended and Reaganomics began. It was a short but wonderful run! Kids of the future will never know how grand it was! Corksoaking Senator Bob Corker and those of his ilk will never allow our grandchildren to know about those wonder years. Why? Because they would want it back. They would fight to get that back.

Corksoaking Senator Bob Corker and the GOP do not represent America. They only represent the already wealthy, be they Americans or possibly even car-making Germans. Do flags even matter any more? Corksoaking Bob Corker wants the world to know that the Confederate States of America are open for business. Have your way with them! Take the country from the inside out! Forget about our borders. No one does borders anymore. No more beach-heads. No more heroes. It turns out, grandad didn't fight for fair wages, benefits, retirement and some kind of illusion called The American Dream.
Who knew? Just the corksoakers knew....

Thursday, February 13, 2014

You've got to serve somebody

The default, Federal minimum wage for tipped employees is $2.13 an hour. It's higher than that in 31 states but $2.13 is as low as you can go and it's been set at that figure for 23 years now. People are making noise about raising it and of course, the usual suspects are making noise about how awful it would be for the country- and the servers themselves- if servers were paid more.

Here we go again. The economy of THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD is so fragile that it can be destroyed by Denny's waitresses getting a wage increase. How the hell did we get this far in the world?

Well, by convincing stupid Americans that stupid, nonsensical shit like that is true. Like republican legislators in Tennessee are warning Volkswagen workers not join the UAW because if they do they'll vote against future expansion of the current Volkswagen plant and that will cause them to relocate to Mexico or some other country. Essentially they are threatening American workers- the very Tennesseans they purportedly represent- that if they seek more money, the legislature will cut off their own nose to spite their own face. That is not representing the people.

They still have the balls to say it is. The argument that they make against the raise in server wages is the same against the too-low minimum wage. It will cost jobs, they say. It'll raise prices. It will cause dependency on government. Genius stuff like that. They say that to maintain the American dream, we the people have to make a few concessions. Like giving up on the American dream, I guess.

They think nothing of a CEO getting a multi-million dollar bonus essentially just for being there but freak out if a single mother of three might make rent without having to work three jobs. More and more it seems that wages for working people are being seen by legislators as a "hand out". And CEO bonuses aren't? Or are they tips they get for keeping their companies from paying taxes?

This is why I'm so hard on these assholes on Topix and elsewhere on the internet. Be a republican. Be a conservative. Even be a racist. That's fine.

But don't be all those things AND a stupid, fucking idiot who believes that fucking their self and their fellow Americans will pay off in lower prices. It hasn't yet. Why should it? I read people on the internet saying that, "well, corporations have a responsibility to shareholders" that somehow supersedes any responsibility to society in general and the American consumer in particular. It's not just that corporations are people too, my friend- they are better, more important people than you. In Tennessee, Bob Corker and his legislative friends are taking it even further, telling a corporation that they have to toe the line of the other corporations that Corker and his klan actually represent.

The big picture here is the corporations versus us. You're being told you don't want "Big Government" telling you what to do. You're not being told that in big government's place would be BIG BUSINESS. What is the difference? If one is the devil you know, how is the devil you don't know better? I know the government isn't under any obligation to make a profit. That may seem wrong but you don't know why. You'd know why though, if ever year the president got a bonus in the neighborhood of $8 or $9 million dollars no matter what kind of year the country had.

I don't know about you but I think our legislators are making quite a bit of money in tips from their better customers. We the people are not the good customers we have thought we were.

Let's see if a hike in the minimum wage ruins the country. Let's give it a chance. They've been wrong about the ACA ruining the country and they've been wrong about Obama confiscating guns and they've been wrong about a lot of things so, let's see if they're right about poor people not being so  poor anymore ruining the country. Let's call that bluff. Raise the minimum for all and for servers as well. Let's go out in style like the greatest country in the world should!

Sure, they'll get even by raising prices. The fuckers were going to raise them anyway. They always do even while labor stagnates. What are they really going to do to us if we stand together? Move all the jobs to Mexico?

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Breaking news!

We've been down this road before, haven't we? This is where I point out that there are 315 million people in this country and only a small percentage watch FOX news and even less watch MSNBC or CNN. Fox claims something like 3 million viewers and that's not even one percent of the population. And, it's not that one percent. That one percent probably only watches CNBC Business to see if they are saying what they are supposed to be saying about the markets. That and maybe the new "Dallas" on TNT so they could see how they should be living if they weren't controlling markets and such. They'd be getting laid and committing murder, they suppose.

If there's a one percent of the population that is THE one percent, that means there is about 3 million people that more or less run things in this country and rake in most of the dough. They range from the billionaire Koch brothers to people you have never heard of but have like a dozen homes all over the world, who made or inherited fortunes. Somewhere in there too are good guys like Bill Gates (who probably made your computer) and slimey assholes like the Papa John's guy who is yet another reichwing pizza tycoon. I couldn't tell you where any of his pizza joints are but, Payton Manning owns like 30 of them.

Three million is a lot. To put it in perspective, that one percent is about the current population of The Great City Of Chicago- 2.71 million people. Just imagine everyone in Chicago being super-rich. That's super rich and within the city limits. It doesn't count the millions that are doing pretty damn  good, that the suburbs would represent, people whom you watch play professional sports or read the news or own small business, a couple of Burger Kings....stuff like that.

Now, the rest of the country. That's you, me and the poor people. From sea to shining sea. 300  million of us and then some. We're the people who live week to week, day to day and are one expensive illness away from disaster. We're the people who live the hard life and strive to make things better, for our families. You probably know where you fit in.

I guarantee your cable news station and your legislators think they know where you fit and what's good for you. They will tell you on one station or the other, 24/7. And they'll vote accordingly.

How many tens of millions of Americans are making the minimum wage (or in that ballpark)? Maybe a third?  A half? Can any newsman or teapublican politician tell me that those tens of millions of people wouldn't like a raise in pay? Well, not according to polls that don't include them, I guess. A survey of 100 Americans might show that 69.9%- a majority- feel that a hike in the minimum would be detrimental to economy, causing inflation of prices and actually harming poor people. Who knew? Not the minimum wage earners they didn't poll....

That shit gets reported as news and accepted as fact on cable news stations. Those people would have you believe that 65% of the people on your bus want an investigation into "BENGHAZI!!!!!!!!" And 73% believe that taxing rich people punishes success and shouldn't be allowed in a society that considers itself 'free' and 'Christian'. Furthermore, 47% believe that's the kinda shit that happens in communist Norway! Why do we have to give people 'special rights', by the way? Those 'special rights' come out of 'my rights' that my father or grandfather fought for in WWII when Hitler directly threatened our future rights. Or have we forgotten about that and 9/11 as 38% of democrats have?

Sheesh. When it comes down to it, politics is supposed to be about right and wrong and common sense. If Fox news had been in existence in the 1930's, in Nazi Germany, they would be reporting that a majority of Germans- Jews included- were in favor of confiscating the property of 'undesirables' and putting those people in work camps. People would watch some blonde Fraulein telling them that and think, well, that must be true- it was well presented and backed up with numbers! Later, a man named Goldberg would report about how wonderful the camps were.  Like a resort....

Is that hyperbole? I don't think so. They are telling us that the 'majority' of Americans don't want other Americans making a living wage. Nor do they want them on welfare or to receive unemployment or even social security. They just want poor people to go away. And above all else, they don't want rich people being taxed AT ALL because that just punishes success. Tax the poor moochers instead! You know, the ones no longer with us because we wished them all off to the corn field....

There are a lot of stupid people in this country. Read the comments on any Facebook thread and you'll know there are a lot of assholes too. Topix too even though it's dying sans Ferrerman and Hegel.

The thing is, we are not a nation of assholes like the media would like us to believe. We are not all out to make as little as possible so that our glorious job creators can make more, no matter what the media makes it look like. We're certainly not disgusted with our fellow citizens having access to healthcare and, ya know, we voted the black guy into office TWICE so, it's not like we wanted him to fail because he had a communist/Muslim agenda for us. Tiny little rednecks in Kentucky or Florida may want another Civil War but 99% of the rest of the country does not.

There are problems in America. We can work them out. It's not about the ratings or polls, though. It's all about using your mind so that others can't use your soul.

Monday, February 10, 2014


Here at the Ferrerman Blog we proudly present a new feature that (so far) we will call, "Get a load of THIS asshole!" unless we think of another name. I almost put a comma in there, one that wouldn't be necessary unless I was specifically addressing a specific dedicated non-reader or two. English is a wonderful language. I speak and write it better than most do but sometimes the mechanics part of it- the rules- gives me pause. I'd feel shame but, I've read the comments and posts of some of my fellow citizens and, I think I might be a Rhodes Scholar.

Anyhoo, get a load of THIS, asshole!

Nice, eh? Do you know that Ron and Rand Paul might support him on this? I don't know that they've been asked about this particular jamoke but I know that Rand Paul has publicly said that- in his  opinion as a Libertarian- a business has a right to refuse service to anyone, for any reason, that the right of the individual supersedes that of society. Thus, the lunch counters of the old south should not have been integrated and, by the way,  Civil Rights were unnecessary too? You know a nation of 310 million people ought to be able to do whatever the fuck they want to do, whenever there is a black democrat in The White House. Whenever there is an "R" in there or, God forbid an "L", this doesn't apply however.

But, this prick has evidently been doing this for 44 years. In Oklahoma, it must be hard to notice these things being so close to Texas. Let's say for argument's sake that hatred for blacks and gays is pretty generic, acceptable hatred. Lots of people hate them so, big deal. That's BIGOTRY 101. I'm curious about the hatred for disabled folks. There's thousands of ways to become disabled. Many of them are pretty goddamn heroic too. I'd like to see him refuse service to a Marine who may have lost his legs in Afghanistan. He seems like a tough, old fuck but I bet he'd back down. Probably spit in the guys food though. The guy makes no apparent distinction as to how patrons became disabled.

This reminds me of the internet meme about the old lady who gets pulled over by a cop and he notices she has a gun. And then she reveals another gun and then another. And the cop, shocked, says to her: "Ma'am, what are you afraid of?" And the old lady replies, "Nothing!"

Except this old bastard seems to be afraid of everyone. He's one slip and fall or one car wreck away from being barred from his own dive. And hey- for all we know one dick away too.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Must Kill Moose And Squirrel

In Olympic news, a bobsledder inspired by the words of Ronald Reagan broke down the door that had him locked in his Olympic Village room. He got the Gold.

"Mr. Quinn...tear down that wall!"

Er, door. Reagan was getting senile in his second term. The Russians had X-number of years to prepare for these Olympics but in a lot of respects- like plumbing- it looks like  they just started last month. There are toilets side by side for comrades going on the buddy system and lots of pictures of sinks without plumbing hardware. In some hotels the water isn't even up to West Virginia standards.

I suspect there were hundreds of millions of reasons to give Russia the Olympics just like there were hundreds of millions of reasons to hold the Super Bowl, outside, in New Jersey, in fucking February. OK, that worked out except for Denver and their fans. But, one snowstorm and it's a Snow Bowl and a disaster. Smart folks at the IOC could have granted Jersey this year's Olympics but they went for Sochi, a resort city with palm trees(!!!) on the Black Sea. There are mountains nearby which have snow but, it was taking a big chance at the high school dance. And there may not be hills in Jersey to ski but, there is Chris Christie.

I haven't watched any of it. I might end up seeing some since they just started but, aside from shoveling snow, winter sports aren't really my thing. Summer Olympic sports aren't either really. I admire the hard work that goes into being an Olympic athlete but, they aren't baseball players. The winter Olympics are a lot of figure skating too. Didn't Russia know how gay figure skating was  when they decided to host? Or the 2 man luge? Canada had a very funny commercial about that.

Russia is giving our reichtards a serious run for their gay-hating money. In fact, Russia is giving our teatards a serious run for their regulations-hating money too. I don't think their are regulations in Russia regarding building, water, pollution, energy- or anything with a dollar sign attached to it. Only people's lives are regulated. It's a tea party dream. Well, no Second Amendment though. They actually know better than to let the people have guns.That AK47 that you may salivate and maybe even masturbate over was for export only all these years. But, that aside, Russia today might be the future of America under teapublican rule.

President Putin and his friends will make a lot of money on these Olympic games. His friends own Sochi and that's pretty much why it's the venue rather than anywhere else in Russia where snow is aplenty. I think the Russians invented "trickle down economics" by the way. They had it under Czarist rule and, despite propaganda to the contrary, they sure as hell had it after the revolution and all through the Soviet era. The peasants are always getting trickled down upon.

But, imagine an America where there is no regulation of business? You just imagined Russia, I imagine. I think our teabaggerz admire Putin for his treatment of gays  and I think a lot of them might secretly relish a Putin/Palin ticket. Ya know, he can see her back porch from Russia. They'll just have to work with him on abortion and that lack of a 2A. America First! Then, ON TO RUSSIA!

Saturday, February 8, 2014

A Troll-based Economy

I took a look at Topix recently and the Offbeat Forum changed it's name to the "Weird Forum".

Well, that is weird. And weirder, they opted to use "Offbeat" elsewhere, under a new format which is geared towards quirky offbeat news and requires registration to comment. What- a concept?

As I've noted here over the years, Topix has been in steady decline for several years now. It's my opinion that they let the inmates run the asylum a few years ago, letting their more active trolls into positions of power as moderators. The likes of Angelique 770, ArtGal, Billy R and their friends kept the forums on life support. I always felt they had a few main players who knew how to work the room and involve other people. That's where the Chicago regulars and the Clique came into play. People like to feel they belong to something whether it's a  message board gang, church group or the Ku Klux Klan. 

Mind you- the three people I mentioned above might be one actual person. It doesn't really matter. These are characters. There are real people behind these characters but, none are real people, just their character selves. Like, I'm Ferrerman and I am a bottom spanker but, I'm not a bottom spanker. I think most people can make the distinction.  It's always bemused me when people wondered where so and so had "gone off to"? The answer usually was that someone forgot the password to that character or just simply got bored with them. Angelique 770 would change profiles as she went along and add others, mostly to play that game. I believe only an employee could have that luxury. Don't try that stunt at home, trolls. Better yet, do try it. I'm sure mods got nothing better to do than swap out avatars for anyone who wants one....Give it a shot!

Anyway, I don't think the folks at Topix are internet geniuses. The bigger forums were never really that popular anyway. If 1200 people were actually looking at Topix at any given time, so what? This is a nation of 310 million people and Topix is world wide. It was never a big audience. They seemed to make their money in volume with something like ten thousand(?) small local forums, all over the world. Maybe more? It adds up, I reckon.

So, the demise of a forum like the Main or (the old) Offbeat doesn't really spell disaster. They're still bigger than the Podunk, Kentucky thread. Just not better. They become just another small thread in a cesspool of small threads.

Just about every local forum is a troll fest of people fighting with each other. People can be jerks. Chat boards are a way of expressing that jerkiness. Exploiting that jerkiness, giving a voice to that jerkiness, has been the way Topix has made their living. That might be changing with their new format that seems to discourage hardcore trolling. I'm just guessing but, I think that they are limiting identities to one to a customer on the new forums. The rest of Topix is still open to jerks with dozens of avatars and proxy servers to 'hide' and create 'socks'. I imagine there will always be a market for that just like there is coffee for most of us and crystal meth for the rest.

I won't be going there. They are more than a day late and a dollar short in this new venture. And, unfortunately for them, I think they still have the same cast of characters. What's new about that?

Friday, February 7, 2014

Things to do today: Shit or get off the pot

Here's why we have a "do nothing Congress":

The republicans in Congress would love to pass laws, like immigration reform, if only we had a president who would enforce those laws! Hint, hint!

Well, why don't they go home? He's got executive powers (like all president's have had) so it's not like he needs them. The republicans themselves declared him "King" and "The Messiah" way back in 2008 and they've been trying to convince the nation of this since then.

Well, at least they are trying to do something! See?

If they really believe this shit why are they making any pretenses of even trying to participate in the democratic process? Just go home, get your uniform on, fire on Ft. Sumter and lead your followers into battle. This one could actually even be about "state's rights". Yeah, sure, why not?

For chrissakes- what are all the guns and red states for anyway?

Civil War? Revolution? Whatever you people are trying to talk yourselves into, for whatever reason, either do it or shut the fuck up. This is still America. If you don't like it, run a candidate for president who will do what you say.

If that insanity happens, leave the revolution to us. We won't make a mockery of it. We'll make it count.

Citizen Neutrality

"...all men are created equal...." That's in the Declaration of Independence. However, it's not in the Constitution. It wouldn't take much to over-turn in court since it's just a concept and a rather hypocritical one at that. See: American History 1776 To Present.

Take the internet. Until recently, the internet was created equally. Your internet service provider had to  provide the same service whether you were Youtube, a website about cat videos or NPR. Everybody had to be treated the same like it was communist France or Sweden or some other European hellhole.

Do you know that there are no words in the European language for, "Hooray for me- FUCK YOU!"?

I'm telling you they are like animals over there! Animals with high-speed internet for very few Euros. Yep- Euros! They don't even use our money!

The point is that everyone can have inexpensive, high-speed internet in Europe and that is awful. We had that here until recently. Tell me it didn't bother you. Tell me it didn't bother you that when you were looking at porn, you knew that someone had the same access to cat videos that you had to porn. No? Maybe you were busy.

The real point is then that it pissed off internet service providers that they couldn't charge more for sites AND, reward those sites with faster internet...paid for with American DOLLARS- not Euros and slow down sites that don't want to pay. This is America! How do you know you are on top if you can see others there? You pay! If they don't pay and they are there, you might as well be in communist Europe.

Republicans must love this. Broke ass, dumbass hillbillies in Kentucky must love this. Maybe fish don't fry in freezer and beans don't burn on the grill, but you can feel like you've made it, when you pay that special internet bill! Hell yeah! 'Murica!

My prediction is that the internet will be packaged like your cable currently is, like every other aspect of America is. Good. Better. Best. And Really, Really Best! Hey- it's what separates us from the communist Europeans.

Remember how the internet was 'the future"? Maybe in Europe and the rest of the world where all of their people will have easy, fast access to it. Man, you'd think Europe would know a little about dividing things up and controlling them.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Celebrity Boxing News

Fifteen thousand people have volunteered to fight non-convicted murderer, George Zimmerman, in a to be announced 'celebrity' boxing match. So far, a black rapper, DMX, appears to be the winning candidate. As long as they don't fight under Florida rules and Zimmerman is allowed to use a firearm, I guess it could be a more or less fair fight.

As much as I know about rappers that are not Jay Zee and have that one song I like, I had to look up DMX. Well, first I looked up DMZ. I didn't think that was right but, I gave it a google. Then, DMX hit me like I was a pasty, doughboyish murderer and I found a link. I still don't know his music. He's 43 so I guess his best rapping days are behind him. Not to mention Ice T beat him to the job of playing a cop on Law And Order and he's in his mid fifties. Zimmerman is 30 and used to fighting teenagers and women. So, good fight? Probably not. I remember when Danny Bonaduce was on WLUP in Chicago, he fought Donny Osmond in a celebrity boxing match of former teen stars. That made sense.

Danny v. Donny was fought on the radio(!) but, for charity. That is celebrity boxing. Bonaduce was a DJ for "the Loop" at the time and fresh off an altercation with a transvestite hooker in Arizona so he could fight women and men, at the same time. And lose. Donny is still a nice Mormon kid and always will be. Danny was in it to win it and I recall he made nasty remarks about Donny's sister, Marie. There was some video of the fight and, if you wanna see a MorMAN get mean, talk like he's fucking his sister. Yikes! Danny Partridge is an asshole.

This Zimmerman v. DMX does not make sense. It's sick. It'd be like- back in the day- pitting O.J. Simpson in a tag team match against a beautiful blonde and a handsome waiter. It's a freak show that solves nothing. It contributes to the decline of the American Empire.

It's some asshole entrepreneur's money-making venture though. Hopefully it fails and never gets off the ground and onto TV. I can appreciate that Zimmerman will never, ever, again have a normal life. Whatever he did for a living before he murdered Trayvon Martin, he can't go back to that or to anything that involves dealing with the public, especially the black folks public. So, he has to do stuff like this to make a living. These are the things you don't think about before you pull the trigger. 

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Health Class with Ferrerman

This might surprise some but, I can still do it at least twice a day. Here's a video:

Of course I'm talking about blogging twice in one day. You knew that.

Weird video, eh? What is with the Mormons and their disdain for us fellas pleasuring ourselves? Do they not care that ladies do this too? Why the double standard?

Oh, I know. Religiously speaking, women are not supposed to be doing that either but, when they do it the result isn't genocidal homicide!

 I got the metaphors, most of them, I guess. Troops, massed at the border, waiting to attack. But, there must be a purpose for that attack. A proper venue. A reason. A result. A lifetime of purpose. Procreation. New church members. More door-knockers.

You know, if your roommate catches you in the act and he doesn't back out of the room he's not a good roommate. If he joins you, he maybe too good of a roommate. But, if he counsels you, I think he's the one that is the jerkoff.

It's an odd video but one that the LDS church folks spent a good deal of time and money on. It's evidently very important to them. They are not the only religion to try and limit sex to procreative purposes only- and only within marriage, I might add. Others might even make videos about it too. I didn't look. You know though that if sex were limited to procreation in marriage though that many people would never, ever have sex and that the world would be a helluva lot more sad and frustrating for more people than it already is. And now, don't you think that a God- if he wanted it that way- would have been smart enough to make it so people could only have sex while married? Like maybe it would only be enjoyable after a ceremony and cake and nine months prior to little feet pitter-patting?

Shut up! If you don't think so then you don't think, so, here's the Jewish take on the whole thing, brought to you by the lovely and talented, Sarah Silverman:

YIKES! That might be a little extreme even for our tea party politicians!

Ferrerman note: I started this yesterday but got distracted, thus the cutesy opening. What- did you think I was tantric?

Leave it to Professor Ferrerman to show films for Health Class!

Monday, February 3, 2014

I'd like to teach the world to sing...

Well, I enjoyed the game. A blow-out like that is usually the sort of game that only the fans of the winning team could love. In '86 when Da Bears blew out New England 46 - 10, I enjoyed the slaughter but I realized that Patriot fans and the rest of the country might have been a little bored with the lop-sided game. Peyton Manning is probably a nice guy but he owns like 30 Papa John's franchises and appears on commercials with the fucking mook who, despite being a mega-millionaire can't "afford" to provide insurance for his employees one moment and the next, is appearing in commercials with Peyton where he's willing to give away like a million free pizzas because that's just good business sense, I guess. By the way, I think Math School graduates figured that *Obamacare* for his help would add @ 10 cents to each pizza. Yikes?

I missed most of halftime mostly out of lack of interest and a desire to get the recyclables and trash out in order to honor those fellas and their unannounced New Years resolution to pick up Ferrerman's stuff first thing in the morning rather than later in the afternoon. Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice, I'll put that stuff out the night before like everyone else.

So, not much Bruno Mars and The Chili Peppers for me. If I missed any of the rather lame commercials, they're all online. I think all of them were online before the SB too, for those who couldn't wait. The Dylan one surprised me. I never associated Bob with cars, particularly those of the Chrysler persuasion, or with advertising. And as I learned later on Facebook, you really can't associate Chrysler with America anymore as Italian Fiat has majority ownership and intends to completely own it sooner than later. We're talking having the headquarters in Italy rather than Detroit. That's not American anymore.

Evidently, neither is Coke. They really, REALLY pissed off conservatives with this Super Bowl commercial:

Now THAT is a well done, beautiful piece of advertising even if it is selling a product rife with high-fructose corn syrup designed by scientists to erode the enamel off your teeth and promote diabetes and obesity. Hate the commercial because of that, if you will, but don't hate it because it's beautiful and portrays America as a beautiful country, filled with a variety of beautiful people, who speak a variety of languages.Conservatives are very upset about the latter and are calling for a boycott of Coca Cola. Good luck with that, especially in the South where Coke is not only headquartered (Atlanta) but is the national drink of the Confederacy. Number 2 is Bud Light, if you're scoring at home.

A boycott is probably their best choice because I don't see Coke apologizing to America for portraying America as a melting pot of peoples and cultures. No matter what conservatives say, it's always been this way. They don't like it but every non-Native American born here has ancestors who came from elsewhere in the world. Even while we were murdering the indigenous Indians here and bringing Africans here in chains, we were doing it with a lot of different accents.

We'll see how this boycott plays out, particularly below the Bible belt where those folks really like to suck some Coke. It's ill-advised hand-tipping to the rest of America when you declare your perception of the country to be more Aryan than diverse like America actually is. Very hard to tell tens of millions of citizens and citizens in training that they don't fit with your party's perception of America. You all are really looking to get blown out. Ya know, I think we'd all like to see that happen...

Sunday, February 2, 2014


One fascinating byproduct of the Congressional cuts in the SNAP program is that the employees of our nation's largest employer- Walmart- takes a financial hit. Isn't capitalism amazing?

It's not only the Walmartians that have to supplement their meager pay with social services like SNAP that suffer, but millions of people under-employed elsewhere (or not employed at all) who shop at Walmart now have ninety fewer dollars to spend every month. If $90 doesn't seem like much, multiply it by tens of millions of recipients every fucking month.

Now, if you're a republican you're thinking all sorts of warm thoughts about how the budget can be balanced and the deficit eliminated and lazy people will get the kick-start in the pants they need to get off their ass and get a job at Walmart or McDonalds...where they are paid so little that they...qualify for SNAP benefits....just not as much  as before....WTF?

Sounds like a vicious cycle, one that the republicans want so badly to break that they don't care how badly they hurt people, the economy and the country.

I'm a firm believer in the reality that whenever  government 'saves' money here they spend it there. Usually there turns out to be corporations. Most people do this as well. When I made coffee this morning, as I do every morning and have for decades, I pondered how much money I have spent on coffee over the years and if I didn't drink coffee, how many yachts would I have? Forget the math. I doubt I would have even a nickel more than right now because, if I didn't spend it on coffee, I would have spent it on something else. Food, beer - something. It doesn't really matter 'what' and, unless you're a liar and /or really, really frugal, you'd have spent the money too. The reality of most peoples lives is that, except for the very rich and spinster ladies with fifty cats, it is very hard to say money. If you give a poor person $100 cash, they will spend it. Give a rich guy $100 and, if he doesn't light a cigar with it, he puts it in with his other money to be shipped to the safety of offshore banks.

This is to say that every dollar that goes out to the public in aid to the poor comes right back into the economy. None of it gets saved in banks here or in The Caymans.

Contrast that with the hundreds of billions given in cash and tax breaks to huge corporations like Walmart, McDonald's, Exxon, GE and many, many more. Where do those dollars go? None of our fucking business.

However, not only do we (as in we the people that 'govern'...) need to not only cut the aid to the poor, we need to limit what they can buy to put in their children's bellies and, in some states, spend even more money to drug test them- hoping that we can catch them dirty and then cut them off.

All the above companies combined receive more public funding (I think) than we the people pay out in welfare programs and the CEO's of these companies get to eat whatever the fuck they want. No one drug tests them though they receive tens of millions. No one questions what they purchase and whether they have a refrigerator in their home. It's assumed they do because they work so hard....

Enjoy the Super Bowl today. The commissioner of the NFL made $29.5 million in 2011. Maybe he had a Super good year. The league itself is a $10 BILLION a year non-profit, subsidized by the taxpayers. That's the 'we the people' not in the government. Be sure and buy all the products offered in the commercials. If we don't support them, they'll need to ask the government for more money...

And the cycle repeats....