Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Nature or Nurture?

I've regularly read in the political threads that "liberalism is a disease" or "a mental disorder". The wingnuts say this as if it were accepted, common knowledge like "water is wet" or "ice is cold". I've often wondered if they had any psychological basis for this or if they were just being mean. I figured the latter.

Well, I found the scientific basis for this! In a thread! I didn't even have to not bother to click on a link for it! Some genius did a cut and paste!

I won't link it here. I don't even remember the *doctors* name. Nor am I interested in what late-night TV advertised school he bought his degree from. It doesn't matter. If his credentials are good enough for the wingnuts, they're good enough for me to make fun of.

I'm not one to really take psychiatry lightly. Most psychologists aren't out there shooting up Army bases or manipulating people on the internet. I'm sure many of them sincerely try to help people with emotional and mental health issues. But, yeah, some got into the field to figure out why THEY were so fucked in the head...

Quick story before I digress (why do I do that? I have no fucking idea. Don't care either...)

Years ago I was tending bar in the South Loop. As I approached the two dudes at the end of the bar, I heard the one dude proclaim to his buddy; "I'm a psychiatrist. If you want to kill yourself, do it. If you don't want to, see me."

Yikes. Mind you, he wasn't talking about his buddy, he was talking about people in general. So, as a greeting I said:

"What can I get you- besides a soul?"

Again, this was 20 some years ago so, I won't pretend to remember the conversation verbatim. It was a Friday evening so I wasn't able to spend much time with this jerk and, I was fine with that. You usually get these types on Sunday when there's no football and no one else in the bar. So I never got the chance to say: "If you WANT me to smack the shit outa you, keep running your mouth. If you DON'T want me to smack the shit outa you, SHUT THE FUCK UP!".

He was quite bemused though at my suggestion that he might be in need of a soul. I recall he spoke in respectful but condescending tones about my compassion for others and yada, yada, yada. After all, I was just a young bartender. What could I possibly know about the human condition that hadn't been taught in an institution of higher learning?

Well, lots. For starters, I wouldn't go around telling people it was ok if they wanted to kill themselves. I still think that's kinda mean and not at all helpful. But hey- I'm only a high school graduate.

I know that people cannot be genetically predisposed to one political philosophy or another. Until science finds a wingnut gene and a liberal gene, I'm not buying it. I think it's more along the lines of what we trained, professional ex-bartenders call, "nurture". It's not nature. Nature may decide one's sexuality, eye color and the like but nurture decides political affiliations. And, it's all decided at the dinner table.

If, at dinner, your father regularly railed about "fucking n-words don't want to work" and "fucking Jews got all the money", your odds of becoming a democrat are really slim unless things happen later in life to make you realize what an asshole the old man was. You'll probably be a republican. Or a Nazi.

But, if at dinner your dad implored you to please eat everything on your plate because there were starving kids in China who wished they could have such a meal, you were destined to be a democrat like dear ol' dad. And maybe a little chubby.

Politics is learned at home first, before we take to the streets. If your parents show respect and compassion to others, most likely you will as well. If mom and dad act like winner-take-all, show-no-quarter barbarians, regardless of how they vote, their politics will likely be handed down to you.

I don't mean to pick on all republicans- just the insane wingnuts who leap at every disparaging thought about democrats and accept it as gospel despite- or because of-the source, without even thinking for themselves whether it be justifiable or not. I have an aunt who is a former six term republican representative in her state. I often tell her she's the only republican I've ever loved. It's true. She's pro-choice and against the death penalty. And, yes, she's a very serious republican. She wasn't an abused child. She came by her politics honestly which is what I could hope for anyone.

But, if you put stock in the rantings of a strange psychologist with an agenda and use that to justify clinical analysis AND use it in political discourse, you are one step closer to eugenics and other abominations brought to us by the Third Reich. And you need to get help.

But, be careful who you ask for help. There's a lot of folks out there who can't make a decent martini. It's been 20 years but I still can. never even went to bartending school...

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


The secret is: BE FUNNY!

This is the part that Angelique770 (may her avatar rest in peace), her minions and hired teenage troll-fighting superheros, just can't grasp. You have to be funny to convince others that you are a Ferrerman.

Just as I am in real life, my internet persona is one of a guy who has a great, sharp sense of humor who also happens to be gifted with charm towards the ladies (I fancy myself to be a bit of a bottom-spanker) and a pretty fair political intellect. If you can duplicate that, you too could be a Ferrerman.

It would seem to be easy but, NO ONE has been able to do it yet. There are plenty of funny people on the threads. There might even be a few bottom-spankers. Some are far more politically gifted than I. But- if I do say so myself- NOBODY brings it all together like Ferrerman does. NOBODY.

Well, they never try, at least.

I've got trolls tripping all over themselves in the threads. Most are the voices inside Angelique770's head (may her avatar rest in peace...) but some are other misguided idiots who either aren't her or were hired by her. It doesn't matter. How hard can it be to troll?

Well, if it's me you are trolling, it's seemingly easy. Create a name, type in "Ferrerman is a poopyhead" and then sit back and chuckle. That has been about the extent of it. No humor, no mention of women's bottoms and no political insight. And 90% of this comes from an (alleged) woman with various degrees in psychology (yeah, right...) who has sometimes been born in France (other times in America...) who doesn't drink (because she's allergic to alcohol...) but regularly attends wine tastings (then quickly adds that shes the "designated driver...") and archives EVERY fucking thread I've ever been on (how DOES she find the time...) and for 10,000 posts used to go by the name Angelique770 (may her avatar rest in peace...) but now spends her days trolling Ferrerman (not well at all...) under about a dozen names so far.

That's not trolling. In Ferrerman terminology; "That's one obsessive bitch!"

Sorry to get all fancy-schmancy technical but, I'm rather proud of my HS education and I like to show it off from time to time. It helps keep the fake internet therapists on their toes.

So, my point is (and regular non-readers know there is ALWAYS (usually) a point in here somewhere) this crazy bitch, Angelique770 (may her avatar REALLY rest in peace...) needs to give up obsessing with me. You look foolish. You're NOT FUNNY. It's lame. You are lame.

I did not "win". You lost, a long time ago. You need to accept that and move on. I'd recommend "counseling" but, well, that's kinda lame now, isn't it?

Saturday, May 1, 2010


The streets of Topixtown were deserted. A tumbleweed tumbled by, lending credence to it's name. Racey the town drunk staggered into the saloon where comely dancehall gals watched from the window, admiring the cut of the High Plains Ferrerman's jib. He absent-mindedly checked the zipper covering that jib, blushed and set himself in the middle of the street to await his rivals.

Nothing. No one showed.

A comely dancehall gal had alerted him that three desperadoes had been hired by 770 to gun him down. 770, the Terror of Topixtown, had sworn revenge on the Ferrerman and was doing everything and any thing in his/her power to bring the Ferrerman down. But, it was not to be. He wondered why she bothered and why she used such riff-raff to do the bothering. He ambled off to the Saloon to join his old buddy, Racey, in a beer. Racey wasn't really the town drunk. He was just somebody who needed an occasional tweaking as well as a beer. Plus- he was buying.


Yep, 770 enlisted the aid of three gooberheads that she found on- I'm serious- a MICHAEL JACKSON FORUM (!?) to troll me. An alert non-reader (and comely dancehall gal) found the thread where the seeds of this foolishness were planted. I had seen the gooberheads on a couple of threads but paid them no nevermind. There's something about scary looking avatars that just doesn't scare me. Flowers, monsters- all the same. If you need to display how bad or good you are, you are neither.

I don't know what their plan of attack was, is or will be but, I'm guessing that given their venue, I don't need to worry about them. That 770 went looking for them THERE, is a bit troublesome though. As dedicated non-readers know, I don't actually know him/her IRL. Given some of her venues on Topix, I sure don't ever want to. As if Jackson himself were not creepy enough, middle-aged *female* *therapists* who seek out forums about him is even creepier.

I had thought it weird enough when, after a google search of "Ex-Ferrerman" (her most recent nom de guerre) showed "Ex-Ferrerman" posting on forums from South Africa to the Netherlands, to France and England, to advise citizens of the world that Ferrerman was a bad person who had "almost outed" some unknown persons real name and had a failed marriage under his belt. (Actually, the marriage hadn't failed under the belt. It was further north from there. But, I digress) Yeah, s/he was posting randomly around the world as to the evils of Ferrerman. This would explain those State Department "NO TRAVEL" warnings I've been getting of late. I thought it was a new Yahoo thing.

All I have to do is make a post in the general direction of the Chicago forum and I get her followers begging, pleading and threatening me to "STOP!" and "LET IT GO!" S/he's fairly slick and consistent to limit her stalking to threads that her minions don't know to go to. That would be any Topix venue outside of the Chi-town Regs, Kittens and the daily fixes of Amy and Abby. Theirs is a very limited scope of the vast Topix spectrum. And when she does post as "Ex-Ferrerman" or "Francesca" on the Chicago thread, my guess is that she explains it as Ferrerman misbehaving again and she offers them a cup of bubble tea from which they gladly drink. And when she is caught, they quickly adopt the attitude that, if I hadn't done whatever it is s/he had said I had done, s/he wouldn't NEED to pursue me for whatever it is s/he had claimed I had done. So, THERE!

Hate to give 770 ideas but, what about those FEMA death camps and that private army that I have? Sigh. Given her penchant for quoting me, they'll "know" about those in the next five seconds.