Friday, December 31, 2010

Sara Bareilles - Love Song

Last night a friend posted a Sara Bareilles song on Facebook and I and another friend of hers remarked how much we liked this "Love Song" of hers. The other woman noted that it was written by Sara when her record label asked her to write a love song. Now, how cute is that? All this time I thought it was a cute song about some romance Sara was having. Now I realize it's a cute song about having to write about romance!

This makes me like it that much better. She's showing a great deal of personality in writing a song to fulfill a contractual obligation and making it work so well as.....a love song.....

What is any song *really about*? I guess only the artist knows for sure. We fans think we know how a certain song speaks to us, what it's about and I'll bet the artist is good with that as long as you enjoy it and buy the CD.

Years ago I heard a DJ talking about the 1974 tune, "How long?" by Ace. It sure sounds like a "hurt me" song- and it is but, it actually had nothing to do with romance. The band had just found out their manager was stealing from them! How long had THAT been going on?

As far as I know, that's a true story. Thousands of people who have been cheated on may hear that song and get melancholy, maybe a little misty and think back to when they caught on to their significant others indiscretion. Well, they can still relate if they put the song in it's proper context and remember how that lover also cleaned out the bank account.....

Life gives you lemons sometimes and some make lemonade. Sometimes life puts demands on others to write love songs when they might not really want to and they wind up writing a love song. Sorta.

and it works.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Sen Bernie Sanders Amazing Speech!

I Always felt that, the middle-class having made this country great with it's blood, sweat and tears, would always survive and thrive. How could America go on without us? Could you imagine an America with only the rich and poor- an oligarchy? The people this man speaks about can and they are doing everything possible to bring that America- that world- about. Madness. Greed. Insanity. The New World Order.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

First they came for the finishers....

In the 90's, I worked for a large, progressive commercial construction company. I recall I hadn't even been there six months when, one September afternoon, the boss stopped by with bonus checks. Fellas that had been there longer than I marvelled that they had never done that before. Christmas came early that year.

Aside from surprise bonus's, the company- I'll call it RatMo Construction- rewarded us in other ways. Raises, which were pretty easy to come by anyway, were now subject to review for all and were 3% of your hourly rate. If that percentage worked out to an odd number, they cheerfully rounded it off to an even fifty cents. The reviews were easy enough. Everyone was judged on a scale of 1 to five. No one, we were told, would get a five. I got a four despite laurels from my boss and his boss that they "....could put me anywhere and (I) would perform (my) work to perfection."

That was a tad disingenuous but, their hearts and generosity were still appreciated. Just struck me as odd to be told you were wonderful but- hey- nobody's perfect! Nobody! But they also saw fit to give us a Simple IRA retirement plan which they detailed to us at a pizza party. They matched our contributions up to 3% even though they didn't have to. This was nice and unexpected. In those days they fed the whole company on the job at least twice a year, good Memphis barbeque and chicken. One Christmas they surprised us with Paid Time Off that we had secretly accumulated over the past 12 months. It amounted to five days of pay either in cash or personal days. All this was icing on the cake of a pretty damn good insurance plan that was free for individuals and very reasonable for families. (The only quirk I felt about the insurance was that you had to have at least 25 hours of work, each week, for six consecutive months. Three eight hour days wasn't going to get it. If you missed that 25 in one week, the clock re-started the next. I knew for a fact that the office kept tabs on who was coming due. Superintendents were consulted and, if a person was useful but out of favor, they would miss a couple of days that last week and go back to square one. Holidays, which accounted for a lot of three day work weeks, didn't help either. But, a good boss would let a good man work an extra hour or two to beat that twenty five. Despite a vacation, I made my insurance by Fall of that first year, working over that 4th of July week). It was all good as far as work goes.

That was, until George Bush came to power. There must have been a memo to all corporate heads that year.

"Fuck your employees! You DO NOT need to coddle them! DO NOT FEED THEM!!!!! DO NOT let them pass 'go' or collect $500 bonus's!!!!"

I would not be surprised if it did indeed read like that. Things DID change with Bush. We still had our reviews but, instead of generously rounding it off to 50 cents, if your raise percentage was 47 cents, that's what you got. Imagine a company being so cheap as to chisel a man out of a $1.20 A WEEK! It's the thought that counts. Suddenly, they didn't think much of us. Bonus's, which had been about a weeks pay were grudgingly given out as a half a weeks pay. Worse, some fellas didn't get anything at all. Worser, the company rats got more.

Construction, like every job, is very competitive. Cutthroat. It got meaner. As shit rolled downhill from management, the rats climbed up on that shit. No doubt, management encouraged this. Lou and Little Jimmy, my supervisors, became less and less interested in supervising. It became a little more like "Lord Of The Flies" than it previously had been. The paint crew had always pretty much run itself as Lou was incompetent (NOT at all a painter) and Little Jimmy had his head and physical self south of Memphis at the casinos in Tunica much of the time. We were left to our own devices. Ratmo didn't have official foremen. I ran work more often than not because I was good and responsible. I treated my people pretty good. In the south, in construction, these isn't necessarily seen as a "good thing". I think the coal-black souls of many a plantation overseer were reincarnated in most of the foremen and superintendent wannabe's that I knew. The south is very hard on itself, the residue of a not-so civil war, I trust.

In 2000, they let all the finishers go. They kept Don, the superintendent, Wayne, a black guy who had sued the company and, thus, they were afraid to fire him, and a young, under paid kid. The bulk of the sheetrock finishing was then subbed out to a company that employed illegals on a day labor type basis. This absolved the company from the nuisance of insurance, workman's comp and all the little unpleasantries that unions fought decades for.

It was a shock. We had long known that the company fantasy was to fire EVERYONE save for a couple of people in the office and sub out all the work to other companies. We just never figured it would actually happen. Long story but, RatMo did 90% of it's business with one powerful man and his family who appreciated the hands on, GET IT DONE NOW! dedication that you just don't get with sub-contractors. RatMo jumped for them, never asking how high. Subs will "get right on that....tomorrow...."

It was a stupid move, probably fiscally brilliant but, stupid. From the moment the finishers were fired, we were warned that we *could* be next. It was fatherly advice at first but, soon enough, it became a threat and then a promise. A "Good morning" to Little Jimmy was often met with: "You motherfuckers can ALL be replaced with Mexicans!". How that little prick survived us is amazing. He was five-foot- nothing. We were all fully grown men. A lot of eye-rolling and sighs, mixed with a good helping of fuck you's was our typical response.

If it got nasty when Bush took office, it got really mean after 9/11/01. Little Jimmy put the screws to us then. We became more aware of our expendability. Even Lou, the *good boss* distanced himself even further from us. The once good job became daily harassment. NOTHING we did was good enough. We were killing the company. We all just sucked. (Some literally figuratively, I'm pretty damn sure....)

On February 1st, 2002, a select group of 14 of us were called to meet in the parking lot of the paint store. That adage about sitting at the poker table and not seeing a chump made you the chump, came to mind. I saw 13 chumps. We all saw 13 chumps.

Little Jimmy was nervous. He'd been running his mouth and getting his ass beat all his life. I'm sure he felt an ass-whuppin' coming that morning. I knew I wasn't going to do it though I might have surprised myself. I was more surprised but nonetheless pleased that none of my fellow chumps made a move on him. He wasn't worth it. Even when he opened up with: "Well, because of Osama Bin Laden and 911...."

He got THAT out of his mouth before I let go with: "You motherfucker! Don't give me that 'Bin Laden' shit! THIS is what you've got after 6 years!!??"

He replied that he didn't know what I was talking about...this wasn't personal.....just business..... work was slow.....

"Shut the fuck up!" I grabbed my last check out of his fat little hand and walked away. I've never killed anyone in my life despite many opportunities. I know when to walk away. I'm glad of that.

In my truck, I opened the envelope. I had been into my sixth year at RatMo. After five years they used to give you a company jacket (a windbreaker) but they had ceased that in 2000. Inside was a $100 savings bond to honor my fifth year. That was nice, I thought. The fucking bastards didn't HAVE to do that....

I bet they don't bother anymore.

Friday, November 5, 2010


And then there was one....

I had to fire one of my last remaining followers today. Worse, I'm doing it like this. Oh, the indignity!

Rest easy, Curly1, it's not you. You've got a no-cut contract. It's Sublime.

I can't afford to keep him on payroll anymore. He hasn't been producing. He posts comments to me while under the influence; rambling,babbling, waffling posts most of which are longer than my posts which they are allegedly about. I've never had someone so relentlessly agree to disagree with me when I wasn't even consulted! And I've been married one and a half times! Note to future followers: DO NOT begin your comments to me with; "You make a lot of good points Ferrerman, but....." and then proceed to slam EVERY fucking thing I wrote. It's lame. Get your own damn blog! Dissension is fine. I'm a liberal, for chrissakes. Just don't bore me to death while doing it. And papa, don't preach. I ain't the choir.

Now, as dedicated (and undercover) non-readers of this blog know, I started it to combat some lies that were told about me by A770 and others. This was, I don't know, ten years ago? Last century? Something like that. Anyway it was-

Goddamn it! The phone....

Hello? Brett Favre?! Huh? Yeah I heard about that. Yeah. Call the bitch on it! Two years and NOW she's coming up with that? Mine did it after TWO MONTHS! Yeah- I know! Crazy. So, yeah, make her prove it. She can't 'cause it didn't happen so, put the ball in her court. She probably just wants money, right? Mine just wanted ninnie domination. Yeah, go and figure THAT. Yeah, I didn't see that coming! Just blog about it- have some fun! It worked for me. When life gives you lemons, have a beer and have some fun with it! Huh? No, I don't put lemons in my beer. That's not what I meant. That's just me being a Ferrerman. I'm known for my irreverence. You took a pretty hard hit last week. It shows. Listen, I'm busy blogging now so, I gotta get back to that. You take care and, next time you retire, FUCKING ACTUALLY RETIRE! I've fired people for such waffling. In fact, that's what I'm doing now. OK. Take care!

Sheesh. That guy's a talker! Anyway, kinda ironic that ol' Sub is STILL obsessed with that A770 stuff. Kinda sad too. But, like I told Favre there, ya gotta roll with it and have some fun. It's just Topix Town, man. Some people take this shit too seriously.

That's a shame.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

What if.....

I was wondering this election night, how different this season would be if McCain/Palin had won in '08.

We'd be far, far worse off, of course. Sheesh, I shudder to think of that. I'm sorry I brought it up. Gawd- what a fucking nightmare.....

But, that's not my point.

Would there be a tea party? Would there be an astroturf movement of patriots screaming to take back America (financed by the billionaire Koch brothers)? Would there be a Sharon Angle and 2nd amendment remedies? A hands-free Christine O'Donnel? Rand Fucking Paul (not certain of his real middle name)? Would there be any of these other yahoos?

Maybe. There wouldn't be any socialist/communist/fascist healthcare to whine about. Glenn Beck would be doing far less whining and possibly even less inciting to riot. He'd be too busy praising McCain/Palin and maybe justifying of the war in Iran (yeah, I spelled it right) to do anything but nod towards Bill Clinton as the villian in all things current.

Remember now, Obama (or some other democrat) would have been the 2nd place finisher so we would still be looking at them dealing with 8 years of Bush. I don't think those two could have handled this mess. We wouldn't be looking at full employment and a robust- or even steady- economy. We'd still be fucked. Just fucked worse.

The left would be doing some complaining but Beck and the other morons in the threads would be shouting the left down, accusing them of treason and of maybe not being patient. So, yeah, no changes there.

So, what would these elections bring? Probably more democrats into office as people realized that McCain just wasn't getting the job done. The left would gear up for a very serious and necessary run at the presidency in '12 which they would surely win. Just like in '08....

For a moment tonight, I wondered if Obama came in at the right time. Maybe '12 would have been better?

No. He was- is- the right man for the job and he came in at the right time. Imagine 4 years of McCain/Palin. As if Bush had not ruined this country enough, would YOU want to follow him PLUS McCain/Palin?

The republican plan seems to be to screw the country up so badly, fight Obama and the dems over everything at all costs, and make Obama a one term president like Mitch McConnell has stated. Fucking morons. Patriots? I don't think so.

Goodness! What an awful scenario I've presented! Just looking ahead while I look back, not liking what I see.

Monday, November 1, 2010

First They Came .... poem by Martin Niem�ller

First They Came .... poem by Martin Niem�ller

Are Liberals the New Jews?

And heaven knows I DO NOT mean God's chosen people! We're in enough trouble as it is! AND we have a *messiah* (or so we're told) so, don't try to pin that on us too.

But, we are being blamed for all of America's ills kinda like 1930's Germany had issues with Jewish citizens. Well, not all of Germany did. Mostly it was the loud-talking Nazi's of the time. Today in America it's the loud-talking, ALL CAPS POSTING Tea Party persons who do most of the finger pointing.

To hear them tell it we are violent, America-hating, *PROGRESSIVES* (spit after saying that) who just can't embrace Muslim/Communist/Fascist/Socialism fast enough. The Tea Party's foremost 3rd rate psychologist (some asshole whose name is unimportant) has even determined that "liberalism is a mental disorder" not unlike homosexuality, another famous mental disorder disavowed by actual psychologists as being an actual mental disorder. To hear them tell it, *we" run the media (except FOXNEWS THE most watched -and least liberal- news outlet in all of cabledom) so, all other media is "the liberal lame-stream media" which conspires to report on Sarah Palin and Christine O'Donnel saying dumb things a dozen or more times a day when there time would be better spent making these two (and others) look like fucking genius's instead, like FOX does.

The "violent" thing gets me the most, I think. Some 250,000 or more people gathered this past weekend to be entertained by Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert at the mall in Washington and I don't think there was a single incident. Certainly no violence. But then, I don't watch FOXNEWS so, they might have sacrificed a few dozen corporate CEO's, looted a few banks and murdered a few republican women who refused mandatory abortions and/or Sharia law. I don't know.

Really, the liberals I know, friends and family, are the nicest, gentlest people I know. Good people to party with, lot's of fun. The crowd at the Sanity rally looked the same, all nice people of good humor and attitude. No violence.

Yet, people in the threads try to portray liberals as violent all the time. They cite the young woman who got her head stomped by a man twice her size while held down by three other men at a Rand Paul rally as an example of the violent left. Now, why was this? Well, she wore a wig, held a sign and advanced towards Rand Paul. She could have been an assassin. She wasn't but, she *could* have been....

Oy vey but these schmucks can extrapolate like nobodies business!

Er, uh, I mean, these fucks are just too far gone. It's ridiculous.

Now, republicans in general are probably decent enough people. Most of them aren't even necessarily assholes, I bet. But, I seriously doubt there is a single tea-bagger who IS normal and fun at parties. Just how do you condemn the violence of the left and not even take a breath to add that you wish the cameras had been off so that little lady got a serious beat down? "I'm against violence and I'll kill anyone who disagrees with me!" That's a bit disingenuous.

What bothers me though is that such propaganda is a primer for the finish coat. It's prep work. The Big Lie essentially means that, if you repeat something often enough, people tend to come to believe it is true. When Glenn Beck tells people that he can't prove there are NOT FEMA Camps in Montana, his followers are led to believe that there probably ARE. It's one thing for them to be so fucking stupid. They are allowed to be stupid. But when the seed is planted, watered and fertilized to grow as if it were truth, then that is wrong. Might they be foreshadowing concentration camps for us? You know- because *we* did that to *them*.... it's only fair. We *attacked* their crazy politicians disguised as small women WITH SIGNS! *We* are against the 2nd Amendment so *we* are going to take their guns away so *we* must be stopped....

Oy vey, again. I realize these people are fucking stupid, paranoid idiots. They do not understand that, should they win a few elections tomorrow and not play ball with the incumbent dems and repubs, they'll be looking for work in two years time. They won't change a fucking thing.

But, in pre-Nazi Germany perhaps the mainstream parties of their day chuckled at that goofball Adolph Hitler and his band of thugs and social rejects. What's that tell ya? They call is "socialists". Now, how does that famous poem go again.....

Sunday, October 31, 2010

That Hopey Changey Thingy

Wasn't it about 6 or eight weeks into Obama's term as president that Rick Santorum gave that rant that begat the Tea Party movement? If you thought that a bit premature, you should have been on the threads in November of '08 when republicans and teabaggers-to-be were noting that Obama had yet to do ANYTHING as president of the United States. Having derisively anointed him as "the messiah", they weren't about to cut him any slack concerning Bush actually finishing out his term into January of '09. If you thought democrats were excited about his presidency, repugs were ecstatic!

They are a sad but amusing bunch of people. Sad in that they are filled with so much hate but amusing in the same way. It's beyond ridiculous when you can't get one of them to admit there is anything they like about the man nor any action of his they agreed with. It's a bit disingenous at best, treasonous at worst.

If you're listening to Glenn Beck or reading the other idiotic fuckheads in the threads who parrot him, or if you're listening to Olberman and the MSNBC crew, you'd think there was civil war in this country. The end of days. Now or never. Armeggedon. Fighting in the streets. Blood, bullets and bombs.

No more than usual though and none fired in the name of anything more than drug turf wars in the big cities, just like when Bush or Clinton were in office. Now, to hear the media call it, you'd think there were tanks in the streets, brother against brother- civil war. Liberals versus conservatives. Winner take ALL!

Hype. Was it Hollywood Henderson who, when asked about the thrill of playing in the Super Bowl said something along the lines of: *If it's the ultimate game, why are they playing another one next year?*


I admit I've been taken in by this media-driven frenzy of hate and insanity. It's kinda fun in that I get to fuck with stupid people all over the country (on the threads) and use my considerable wit and charm in doing so, neverminding that it's futile and actually un-necessessary. Kinda stupid too. I *get* that. I just can't help myself.

See, there is no war in our streets. No America to be lost or regained. No regime change no matter what happens on November 2nd. No Hope And Change either as there is not much hope for change. Both political parties own us and, yes, it IS hard to tell one from the other. I think they are thick as thieves and laughing at us as they giggle all the way to the banks that they BOTH had a hand in bailing out.

I do respect and admire President Obama. I believe he is a good man and genuine in his efforts and in his love for this country. But, let's face it: this country is too big and too important to hand over to one man every four to eight years. Sure, the parties take turns but, the presidency is a dog and pony show. He can only do what *they* let him do. It was the same for Bush and likely every one of them back to Washington. I don't know if it's the iluminati or the Bilderbergs or whatever other conspiracy beacons there are out there but, one man does not run this country. One party does not alternately run it either. I'm not saying *they* mean us well but they do know what they're doing. If they didn't, Taft or Polk or anyone of them might have lost the country in a poker game a hundred years ago.

Hope and Change? I wish we had a viable third party. The Tea Party is a fucking joke, nothing more than a suburb of Republicanville, across the tracks, don't go there after dark. Libertarians? Maybe. I'd like to see more to decide. Independents? Are there REALLY any? I mean, not repubs or dems who are dissatisfied with their parties or the tragically hip that just can't be expected to pick a party but, actual INDEPENDENT people. They would seem the best bet but, how do you call yourself "independent" and also be a political party? You kinda lose your independence once you are dependent upon others.

I don't think there will ever be a viable third party. I don't think *they* will let this happen. I think they like going against each other every two to four years. They know what to expect. We do too.

Us be damned, it is what it is.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Just A Thought.....

America has weapons of mass destruction. We have used them before. Some people think our leader is a communist who, having illegally seized power through the nefarious work of a subversive group known as ACORN, has subverted the constitution. There are rumors of concentration camps for enemies of the state....

It would seem we would be ripe for *liberation* by some well meaning country.

Lucky for us (or not), we're the only country that liberates others whether asked to or not.

Unlucky for us, we have elements within striving for civil war....

Just like some of the countries we've *liberated* in the past....

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Notes from a FEMA camp

Many dedicated, non-readers of this space know that I make something resembling a living as a painter. As a student of both life and the painting game, I like to face up to the fact that I don't know everything, even when I'm pretty sure that I do. So, if I have any questions about a project or an event, I google. I don't know why though....

I painted a cast iron bath tub this past week. It wasn't my first but it was the first one that wasn't going to be filled with dirt and annuals and put in neighbor Bill's back yard. So, yeah, I knew to sand the bejeezus out of it and hit it with two coats of Rustoleum. This bathtub was going into my brother's to-be-remodeled bathroom and I was slightly curious as to any techniques I might not know about.

Turns out, according to the 'net, there were a few I hadn't considered. A couple of sites recommended latex paint because it's "flexible".

Huh what?? Latex paint on cast iron? Well, if you want to promote rust and inhibit adhesion, I guess that would be the way to go....

The next link recommended automotive engine paint because, well, you'll be putting HOT WATER in that tub and.....

If you're putting water hot enough to worry about melting the paint in your tub, it'll be the last bath you take before going to the burn unit for skin grafts.

I quit reading after that and went with what I already knew. Beau coup sanding and at least two coats of Rustoleum.

To me, it's like fucking. You already know how to do it. What can the internet tell you about fucking if you've already done it rather successfully? It usually starts with a man and a woman. That's doable. But then it's FIVE guys and a woman! Another click and it might be just two GUYS! What the? Jeez, they can even complicate sex! Where did these midgets come from???

So, yeah, there is a ton of misinformation on the internet. People complain about Wiki but I think it's always been a good starting point for reference work. Most of life is common sense and thinking for yourself. You could use engine paint on a tub. But, you don't NEED to. You could use latex paint.... after priming with a rust-inhibiting, alkyd based product.... so, just fucking use Rustoleum and get it over with. It's not that hard.

Now, how does FEMA DEATH CAMPS figure into this? This week I saw a clip of a Charlie Rose interview with Dana Millbanks who has written a book about Glenn Beck and the teabagging of America. I've read a thousand references to FEMA camps in various threads and I assumed it was bullshit the reich was selling as a PROBABILITY with the Obama administrations evil agenda. Fear is their business and they have a dedicated sales staff. But it turned out that the talk of FEMA concentration/death camps was, at the time, a REALITY that Glenn Beck just couldn't confirm or deny. That meant in Beck-speak that liberal/communist/socialist Obamaites mightcould have been imprisoning republicans and, of course, torturing, executing and- worse- RE-EDUCATING them! Or, not. He debunked that myth ever-so-quietly a month later, according to Millbanks.

Thing is, stupid people still cling to that notion of existing FEMA death camps. Maybe they missed the debunking episode. Maybe he did it during commercial.

Ah- what are ya gonna do? If you can't think for yourself, there's always Glenn Beck and rusty bathtubs.

Be careful what you link for, you might get it.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Remember November

I remember November, the one in '08. We the people elected a new president. The moment his victory was assured, the reich wing of America threatened to assassinate him, impeach him (for his birth certificate (?))and anything else they might think of, and in general stymie him at everything he tried to accomplish. They even proclaimed in November, December and the following January, that he "hadn't DONE anything yet", neglecting to realize that George Bush was STILL president and Obama was not until sworn in on the 20th of January '09.So, yeah, they took his victory to heart and in their soft-headed minds, promised four years of "NO!" to thwart his presidency because that is what our glorious founding fathers would have wanted and it was in the best interests of the country to take the country back from this usurper, another bonus desire of our glorious founders who fall just short of speaking to reichwing politicians as if they were God himself whispering in the ear of Pat Robertson or some street corner preacher. I'm sure there is still plenty of time for THAT to happen.

For two years now we have been in the remarkable position of having to defend a man who won a decisive mandate of the people, by the people and for the people. There were no shenannigans involved in his election. No supreme court appointments to the office, no hanging chads or brothers who were governors. He didn't invade any countries right or wrong. He just tried to un-fuck the eight year mess that he had inherited. And, oh yeah, he tried and succeeded in getting healthcare passed, which somehow put him in a league with Stalin, Hitler and Dr. Kevorkian. And never-minding all that, he was just WRONG about EVERYTHING he said and did. EVERYTHING!

It's made for an interesting two years. That's all going to change this November when the tea party candidates win mandates from the people and get democrats and a few republicans out of office. The Paladino's, O'Donnel's, Angle's et al will (likely) prevail and the country will be saved- from what, no one really knows. But, it will all be better over night.

And, motherfuckers, IT BETTER BE! You all will get the same consideration you all afforded our president. That would be none, if you're scoring at home. At midnight on election day, you better deliver on all your campaign promises or you are toast. I won't promise assassinations as that is not the democrat/liberal policy. Frankly, since reichwingers drove up the price of ammo with their fear-mongering, none of the aforementioned are worth the price of a bullet. There is STILL a recession going on (though that will end overnight in November....) so, we still need to be frugal. The prospective new meat in various government positions, all disciples of our glorious founding fathers, better deliver immediately or they are going to hear about it!

Us Coffee Party members, taking the cue from our retarded, tea party cousins, will be on these assholes and their supporters like white on rice. You all better dot your eyes and cross your tees. I catch anybody using a teleprompter to give a speech and they will be deemed "stupid" and "too dumb to speak without a prompter". It will be "OK" to read notes scribbled on one's hand though 'cause that's just fucking hilarious. Just no teleprompters. Also, every campaign promise must be kept! And there will be NO Obama bashing because, haven't you gotten over that yet? I mean, please, he's a lame duck, one term president who cannot possibly win in '12 because the people DO NOT WANT HIM! They didn't want him in the first place. It was ACORN and the Lame-Stream Media that got him elected even though FOXNEWS is #1 in cable news. They want leaders with Christian values- not Muslim usurpers. They want leaders who know that corporations ARE America and know what is best for all of us. They know that we don't need our elitist public schools when private schools and home-schooling are clearly what our glorious founders intended. They also know that if you are healthy enough and rich enough, you should have the right to pay ridiculous amounts in healthcare premiums- not be hunted down by a murderous army of IRS agents for non-compliance with Obamacare which is clearly a Nazi/ Communist/ French concept.

It's gonna be fun! WE get to be the crazy one's and with our own guy as president! WE get to jump all over everything the newbies say and do (which- let's face it- was gonna happen anyway 'cause these people are fuckin' idiots!) and we get to do it as the oppressed minority because these assholes have deemed themselves in power already simply based on the prognosis that they likely will win in November. Stupid fools- be careful what you wish for....

Man, if these 'tards thought Ferrerman was hard on them before....

I'll remember in November!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Willie, Mickey and The Duke

There is talk of expanding the play-off format in Major League Baseball. Yikes.

As it stands now, the World Series will end early November. Is the idea to make some 12 year old's Christmas wish come true- that his team might win the series Christmas day? That's sweet but some other kid is gonna have to settle for the lump of coal that is his team losing.

They would like to add more wild-card teams and short series to justify these additions. Maybe one game play-offs or even best two-of-three match-ups. That's not entirely horrible. Yes, some teams would have a shot at the championship that didn't really deserve it but, more often than not, they would be quickly eliminated because they are not that good. And if a tenth seed did go all the way- that would be great. The Twins just went out in three games to the Yankees. I like the Twins, they are a good team (and I can say that because I'm a Cub fan and a Jim Thome fan) but, paper and regular season success means nothing if you can't beat the Yankees in the first round. That's baseball.

If they are going to make an addition like this, how about beginning with a subtraction? Take away eight regular season games and go back to the 154 game season that ended in the 50's. Let the play-offs begin in late September when most of the country is still enjoying decent weather. Yes, those last eight games can be very exciting for teams in a pennant race. They can be equally exciting as the last eight of 154. Any team that's out of it by August isn't going to fill those stands at the end of the year no matter what. I don't see it as a loss of revenue. The teams in it or that have a serious chance, will still draw as game 154 approaches. With 10 (or more?) teams contending, they'll be a couple more sell outs than before as other cities live the dream.

One fifty four was baseball up until the late 50's, I think. When Maris broke Ruth's single season home run in '61, they deemed his *record* would have an asterisk as Ruth had hit 60 in 154 games, Maris 61 in 162. Really, any record broken since then should have an asterisk. Level that playing field too while we're at it.

Jeez- why not? Minnesota had beautiful weather last week as they lost to the Yankees in their brand new, outdoor stadium. What if they had won? They might be shoveling snow in Minnesota in two- three weeks. That's not baseball.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Carly Simon - Anticipation 1995

Well, this should be above. Here it is!

My point being that, for some- like the kids today- THESE are the good ol' days just like our childhoods were our good ol' days. Enjoy them as they'll be memories before you know it.

FERRERMAN: Private Dick

She was a pretty lady. A bit disheveled as if she were having a bad day but, good looking. I could tell she worked out, kept herself in shape. Maybe those gym fees had gotten the best of her?

"I'd like to report a missing country!" she cried. "My America is missing! I need you to find her!"

Jeez, I thought as I fired up a Winston, Why are the good-looking ones always crazy? When she walked in, I thought she might be Mrs Ferrerman the second and a half. Now I was afraid she would be because, well, I just don't marry well. I decided to humor her. Chicks dig that. I asked her describe her America.

She described an America of boys with crew-cuts spinning about town on Schwinn bicycles with bannana seats, baseball cards in the spokes. Little girls, she said, wore dresses and had pig-tails. All mom's stayed home (as required by law) and all dad's wore suits to work. Even the garbage men. There was no crime, no drugs, no Muslims and sex for the fun of it had yet to be invented.

My goodness but she had just described the America that I had known when my avatar pic was taken! I knew that America. I liked that America. Geez, I kinda wanted that America back too.... Well, that's what "MeToo" TV is for. Fucking "Highway Patrol" with Broderick Crawford was on tonight! I loved that show!

But, that America was gone. That America was not coming back except in re-runs. Others, it seemed, also had their own favorite eras in America they wanted to see return. The Tea Party seemed to favor 1776 because surely, our founding fathers never desired America to grow AT ALL. Thomas Jefferson himself was fond of saying: "America- don't change a hair for me, not if you care for me!" I think that was in "The Federalist Papers".

Others though pretty much wanted any time before November of '08 when, over night, America was transformed into a Socialist/Communist/Muslim nation of elites (Coming soon: Sharia Law!) It didn't matter much what golden era. As a part-time Southerner, I know folks south of the Mason/Dixon long for the halcyon days of the Civil War.(White folks only, please). The mainstream Republican party wants a time free of pesky unions, regulations and that insipid "minimun wage". The gun nuts (who belive that the 2nd amendment- THE ONLY AMENDMENT WORTH KILLING FOR!) seem to be torn between the revolution and the Civil war but would likely settle for both as long as full-auto assault weapons are part of the deal. They just want to kill. Freaks.

Mainstream Republicans also just want "less government" and they aim to get this by trying to eliminate the government we have now cause it's filled with pesky democrats. THAT is what they mean by "less government". Do not kid yourself. Whatever happens this November or during the one scheduled for '12, government will NEVER, EVER, get small. That is NOT gonna happen.

"So" she said, dabbing a tear from her eye, "can you help me get my America back? Please!"

No. I could not. No one could. No man, woman or political party could find and return her America. That America was in her memories and mine. Maybe yours as well. That America is right where it should be.

Do you want to find America? I'll show you it in a song.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Combat Fatigue

There's no one left to fight.

Lest anyone get their boxers hunched up, thinking I'm speaking about battling ninnies for control of AmyAbbyville; been there won that. That dictator's weapons of mass distraction have been destroyed. Make no mistake about that. AmyAbbyville is not to be occupied by this Liberator.

Nope, I'm talking politics. I'm wore out, tired of phoning it in. Others are too. Hegel doesn't even bother any more. I have never seen anyone who fights as well as she does and does it so cleanly (though BH is every bit as well-prepared and professional). dem is phoning it in and just amusing himself. He's whupped better than this on his WAY to a good fight. Curly hung it up awhile back. Just got sick of it, I guess. I can't blame her. Sel and Leo are still in it, honing their skills I guess. Same with RS who is politically brilliant but chooses to brawl. Given the opposition, I'm all for that.

That might be the thing. There's no one to finesse on any threads. It's all bare-knuckles. A little bit of UFC is great but, where's the chess game?

A fews months back I tried a change of venue. I was well ensconced on Offbeat which is a lot of fun but also happens to be a hot bed of reich wingers. A typical thread on Offbeat might be titled: "What's yur Shoe size". The misspelling of "your" would be typical too. Anyway, likely about ten posts in to that, some wag might post: "Not as big as the communist boot Obama has up our ass now!" That passes for political discourse in those parts. Then a flood of positive icons would show agreement with that witticism. I'd let something like that go, probably add that I always wondered if there were something to that old saw about shoe size and penis size, noting that I had dropped half a size in my shoe several years ago but checked on my dick and, well, everything was still right as rain. I'd get funny icons for that. Always did back then. Ah, but then the thread would return to Obama's Hitleresque boot up America's ass and no one would care about my penis anymore. Well, that was just too much like real life.

So, I would engage. But, I never got anything good going. Nobody really had their head in it, it seemed. It was like slapping bums who got aggressive. Street people know that most people don't want trouble and most are smart enough to realize that a bum does NOT care about getting his ass kicked or going to jail. Put those bums on Topix where there are no cops and, no matter what anybody says, they can't kill you, and they are in their element. A perfect world of anonymous hate and read by more people than a port-a-potty.

You know, I've never written a *post* in a Jonny-on-the-job or a bathroom stall. Nope. That's the internet for construction workers. Before I knew what "trolling" was, I saw an electrician get trolled relentlessly- by his own guys. Turns out he had it coming as he was a rat. Evidently, one Saturday his crew decided to head for the house and call it eight. He silently agreed to tell the boss.Rat bastard. One of his counterpart foremen did pin him to the wall and was fixin' to beat his ass but, cooler heads prevailed. The aggressor was forced to apologize and- worse- shake his hand. With a beatdown out of the equation, the crew was left to write about him in the Jonnies. Some of it was hilarious. Much of it was brutally mean. Well, most of it was brutally mean.

Reading that and a tour of duty in the sixth grade, readied me for Topix. The humor also appealed to me. I like it when someone *posts* on a stall: "I fucked your mother last night!" Because then someone will follow that with: "Go home, dad. You're drunk!"

It's the vitriol of the politics that has been getting to me. It saddens me that so many (though VERY far from a majority) are so obscenely vehement in their hatred for our president and towards well-meaning liberals. Such a vocal and foolish minority of assholes. They bring NOTHING to the table but bad manners, ignorance and vulgarity. A link from Fox or some other reichwing website passes for political acumen. They suck. That's it. They suck.

Now, I've know this pretty much from Jump Street. It's just that lately I've grown weary of it. It's like my work with the ninnies. I KNOW that it empowers them in an abstract way when I make a witty post here and there. It makes them feel wanted and needed and a bit giddy as if Ferrerman really cared about them. I don't. I just like fucking with stupid people. If there is a God, he surely wants me to fuck with stupid people because he keeps bringing them to me.....

I'm not giving up. Not retiring. Maybe I'm just resting. The November play-offs are approaching. If those assholes *win* a few seats, they'll really need some fucking with. I want my posting arm to be strong. I'll be back like Favre....only better and, uh, still having sent no penis pics to anyone....EVER!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

My Old School

Recently, I did go back to my old school. If Liz and David, Jon, Rona and the others weren't there with me and if I didn't know full well it WAS my old school, I would not have recognized it.

We had our 39th gradeschool reunion (Class of '71, if you're keeping score at home) the night before. David- "Buns" as we lovingly called him, not only put that together but he arranged for a tour of the school. It was homecoming/reunion weekend for the Class of '75 as well but, I placed my money on the Class of '71. Nothing personal against highschool. It was just that our baby-boomer class had 1313 kids in it and the odds were that at a 35th reunion I might really have known a score of the percentage that might show at such an event.

And most of them.... would have gone to gradeschool with me.....

So, I'm a practical Ferrerman.

At the end of the film "Stand By Me", the writer types something about the friends one has at 12 being the best one would ever have. I think a lot of people feel this way. I'm just guessing but I bet half of the gradeschool attendee's preferred- and made a point of- making the elementary over the highschool affair. It's just that, at that age, we were just kids, knew everybodies name and pretty much all got along until we went off to the vast chaos that was our huge highschool. Simpler, golden times.

The exterior of the school had changed little, still all brick and mortar and somewhat castle-like. The interior was completely different. I found it very hard to orientate myself to back in the day. Again, thanks to my classmates for filling in the memories. Randy was a font of information as to what teacher had which classroom back then. What he didn't know or wasn't sure about, the others knew and filled in the blanks. Everyone wanted to see the notorious swimming pool. The pool was closed over during the depression. The exact reason why was legendary in town. The popular myth was that when the school was integrated, the pool was shut down so that white children wouldn't have to swim with black children. Jon's dad, who had grown up in our town and attended our schools, knew that a kid had drowned back in his time and so likely, it was that plus insurance liabilty plus that caused it's demise. And certainly the depression itself caused a lot of cutting back. I'm not sure when the school was integrated but it was long after the pool had already closed.

So, everybody wanted to see the pool and know that it really had existed. I was curious myself but, my back watched a few people struggle to get into the tight, trap door in the floor and I thought better of it. And nevermind that I'm tall and there looked to be about four and a half feet of head room. I believe there was a pool.

The classrooms themselves were, of course, completely different. That was to be expected. The library was in a different location as well. The only thing that hadn't really changed was the gym. It just shrunk a little as we all got older. Illinois is the only state that still requires PE (though our principal/guide told me it's only four days a week). Gym class had been a favorite for most of us. We had the most enjoyable bombardment (dodge-ball) games EVER! We even played it on "scooters"- one foot square chunks of wood with wheels attached. We also played floor hockey and of course, basketball. But, no swimming....

It was a great tour of a wonderful school, filled with wonderful memories despite the inevitable changes that time brings. I went with good people, then and now.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Gone Fishin'

No, not me. I never really took to fishing. I haven't a thing against it just haven't bothered since I was a kid.

No, it was Angelique who went fishing over the weekend. Well, s/he's not really a sportin' type his/herself so actually it was Sublime who baited the hook and cast the aspersions into the Topix sea. S/he, they, got a few nibbles but the fish weren't really biting.

A770 made a post in the "Kittens" thread about the grossness of performing oral on women. It simply said: "Barf!" This was in contrast to a poster called "A Noted Observer" who was in favor of the act. THAT particular poster knows what he's talking about. The guy- whoever he is- could be a Ferrerman! That's high praise, indeed.

Anyway, Sublime disavowed that A770 had actually made the barf post. She was no longer registered under that name and in fact, may never have been! He postulated that A770 was an alter ego of Crunchy Bacon.

Well, no one on Topix can stand on so many sides of an issue as Sublime. His issues have issues and he agrees with all of them.... right before telling you how wrong they all are.....

He is evidently an attorney and deals only in facts- NOT opinion.... but in his opinion.... A770 was no longer posting as A770 and therefore..... it was a FACT.....that her avatar had been hijacked..... or..... retired and picked up by someone else..... or that SHE had never been A770 at all..... and that Crunchy Bacon had indeed been A770 all along.....


I guess the idea was to open up a dialogue amongst the dregs as to who knew what and when did they know what about her. I guess- the guy was all over the place. A few of the dregs bit. Angela said she had never for a moment believed that the dregulars were part of anyones PHD dissertation because she had slept with a lot of PHD's (shows how smart THEY are....) and none of them had the time to post nonsense on the internet day and night. Good point. She also noted that A770 had claimed her husband was in the Secret Service (I think) and I had not been aware of that particular fabrication. That would put him in the Not-so Secret Service if true.

So, she never bought the bullshit. Neither did Cycle who went on to note many inconsistancies in her tales. The thing was, with the few who nibbled that day, the internet is full of liars. So what? I actually liked the ever-practical Tonka's take on it too. He said the 'net was like a TV show in that he liked some characters more than others but ultimately, it was all entertainment for him. That's the old "imaginary people" philosophy. It's just Topix- why take it seriously? Just enjoy.

Well, Sublime then began to take umbrage that other dregs- the hardcore ninnies- might have been "in on it". I often wondered that myself. Some did seem to be stroking A770 a lot, promoting her therapist skills and yada-fucking-yada. I tended to believe that they were foolish and gullible rather than un-indicted co-conspirators. You never know. Forget it Jake- it's Topixtown....

Sub did NOT want to be party to a group of liars though so, I guess, he quit the dregs for the umpteenth time! I personally have pulled him off the Topix ledge twice. Not now though. Might as well jump, as Van Halen said.

I don't think that was his mission though. I don't *know* that because we are not dealing in facts here as it is just Topix bullshit but, if the guy just now found out that Topix is full of liars, wait'll he gets in a court room.

I think that he was on a mission from A770 to find out what the remaining dregs new about her and how they felt. Perhaps she is tanned, rested and ready for a comeback and wanted to test the waters. She's still got her inner circle of ninnies and some of them made special guest appearances but said nothing remarkable and made no dramatic courtroom confessions. Not surprising. If they got played and now know this, they are embarrassed and rightfully so. If they were in on her charade, they likely wouldn't want to confess to that either. And, as A Noted Observer pointed out, it could well be that whoever A770 was/is in real life, s/he likely knew a bunch of intimate details about people who didn't really know *her* at all. That's a little creepy but, probably harmless.


Sunday, September 12, 2010

Last Call!!

Back in my bartending days I used to- at first- try to settle combative drunks down, by very fatherly advising them that they might be dealing with the police if they didn't settle down.

Sometimes this worked but, more often than not, they replied: "Go aheAD I ill KICk THEyRE AsS 2!!!!!!"

(Editor note: the sp's are Ferrerman being "cute" to illustrate *drunk speak*. Neat, eh?)

The thing was the "....i'll kick their ass TOO...." that always got me. In their inebriated mind, they had already kicked my ass so, five or six cops would be 'no problem'. Then, ON TO POLAND!

This is how I view the tea partiers. Earlier in the day (two years ago) they were fine and sorta sober. But tonight (right now) they are liquored up and spoiling for a fight.

Things need to go their way, "RIGHT NOW!!! That hot chick, I want to see her tits, NOW! DRINKS ON THE HOUSE!!!! WOO HOO!!! Fuckin' niggers! MOOSESLIMES!! Huh? FIVE DOLLARS!!??? FOR A BEER?????"

You might know how it goes. You go out to have a good time and, invariably, somebody just doesn't get it and they fuck up and try to ruin it for everybody else because, well, it seems like the thing to do at the time.

Well, that's America. Everybody is different more or less and everybody reacts in their own way. It's one of the things that makes us great as a country. We can all be out for the evening, in the same place and most of us can enjoy it but, some people just don't get it.

The tea party and those who follow them, are like the drunk at the end of the bar who, two or three past anyone's limit, thinks, anything goes and should go.

"End 'big government'"? "No standing armies"? "End social services"? "No gun control"?

If you really want all this, move to Somalia. They already have all that.

To think that everyone in a nation of 300 million can fend for themselves with no rules and regulations is beyond drunkeness. It's idiocy.

I think the teabaggers have been over-served.

I don't know if coffee will help but, someone has to think about reforming this country without hate and violence. We have a man in office trying to do just that. He needs our help.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Something Wonderful Right away!

I think I have mentioned before that, the Republicans, after 8 horrid years of Bush, pretty much knew that '08 just wasn't gonna happen and they simply fielded a team (a veteran and a rookie) and set their sights on the proverbial next year. As a lifelong Cub fan, I certainly understand this and have grown quite used to it. By "used to it" I mean tired of it.

However, instead of drafting new players and rebuilding, they continued to not only dismantle their own team but they kept on trying to demolish the country. And they blamed it all on the new guy.

The expectations for Obama were high but none were higher than the republicans who (derisively) deemed him "The Messiah". I recall reading posts immediately after November of '08 and before January '09, deriding the then president elect for "not having done anything yet". Amazing but true. George Bush was, you recall, STILL president then. In their haste to present Obama as a "King", a "Dictator" and even a "Fueher", they believed their own fantasies about him being totalitarian and DEMANDED immediate results.

They had left the country in such turmoil that no one could easily clean up the mess over night. That's why they didn't run serious candidates then. They knew they weren't gonna make it.

So they became the "Party of No" and splintered off into the Tea Party who picked up gun nuts and Nazi's along the way and a few Libertarians and independents as well. And they continued to stymie Obama at every turn because his failure would be their victory in 2012. Now THAT is a political philosophy. It's like setting your house on fire and deciding to put the fire out by flooding the basement.

And now they are setting their sights on November and taking back the house and all, ensuring them of the White House in '12. It seems kinda imperative to do this because, well, you can only fuck the country up so much before you realize, "Oh boy- we fucked this country UP!" So, they can't wait for '12 and must act NOW!

Good luck with that. Should they prevail in November, I for one am going to DEMAND, instant satisfaction. In fact, taking a cue from them and that they are so certain of victory when the leaves have fallen, I WANT IT NOW!

"What??!! You haven't done it YET??!! Fuck you I want my country back NOW!!!!" My coffee party comrades are already buying up ammunition, supplies (coffee amongst them) and getting ready to "take back America...." NOW!!!

My thanks to FOX and the teabaggers for setting the bar this low. You all can "Remember November" now. I promise you, we will learn from it and remember it later.

Be careful what you wish for!

Friday, September 3, 2010


"What are, 'things that can only happen to a Ferrerman'"


"Potent potables for $600 please...."

We'll get back to Jeopardy! later. Right now, yeah, as near as I can figure, I was once cock-blocked by a lesbian. I have no idea why. The other girl was a lesbian too. They were cousins as well. Yeah.


Nope. Colbie- maybe, but, I really didn't think I was eligible. Alicia- no. I knew I wasn't eligible and I was fine with that.

I knew we had two lesbians on the job but I didn't meet them until several weeks into the new company. we had been on a hiring binge just prior to this recession and most of our new hires were Central Americans. Mi Espanol es asi asi pero me ingles es perfecto! I saw these two from about 50 feet as I approached the shop that morning and I thought, great, they finally hired some Americans! Short ones but, Americans nonetheless.

Upon closer inspection (not THAT close!), I figured out they were the company lesbians. They both had that butch thing going on with their hair and well, paint clothes don't really flatter a woman's body. I think that went with their territory. Walking with either one of them usually elicted a "Hey fellas" salutation from well-meaning strangers and the girls were tickled by that. Mission accomplished. I recall eye-balling a beautiful young girl in a Kroger in Memphis and thinking that I better not stare too much because her boyfriend looked kinda tough. Her boyfriend, of course, was a chick.I later saw a pic of Alicia's "wife" and she was quite good looking. Colbie's, not so much.

Almost any woman on a construction site is a hot commodity. It's strange but true but you get a couple dozen guys together with no expectation of women, and one shows up, it is as if she is THE only woman on earth. The guts get sucked in and the testosterone begins to rise. A lot of fellas were interested in both the girls. Maybe it was the *challenge* of seducing a lesbian. That and the fact that, having seen some of their wives, making love to a woman who looked like a guy might have been a step up for some. Within the company, both were highly desired.

In fact, I was both hero and villian because many in the company were certain that I had slept with Alicia. They were certain that I had boldly gone where no man had gone before.

Kudos to you, Ferrerman! You fucking prick! One guy- I heard him on her phone- cried when he called her with the revelation that she had fallen in love with "him", that "him" being me.

Great, I thought. Now I get to fight the meanest guy on the crew for not actually stealing his fantasy love and not sleeping with her!

And, of course, I hadn't. But, when some people get an idea about some other people's romance in their head, it STAYS there. Denial becomes an admission of guilt. Same with stone-walling or telling the accuser to "get a fucking life". You are guilty, son....

All of that though, had little to do with the cock-blocking. Alicia was one of the most pathalogical liars I may EVER come across. Her lies, even the outrageous ones, came easy to her. Until I met her, I had never fathomed that a woman might lie about giving birth. Not losing a baby or anything tragic like that to elicit sympathy but going into great detal about having two children that she gave birth to. Jeez- a woman tells me she has two kids- okay! Even if she is a lesbian, I know these things happen and I sure know how and why. Now I think this girl might have had kids she didn't even know about....

One kid was her brothers. He was in jail, the baby mama had a crack problem and Alicia had custody. This I learned from folks who knew her better than I. The other was via her *wife* who, hadn't yet switched teams when she became pregnant. Well, why didn't she say so? An aunt stepping up to the plate for her brothers child is an admirable thing to do. A young gal getting pregnant and later discovering her true sexuality, is pretty common as well. I would have thought I had already proven myself to be a man who would not pass judgement. Why children come into this world is not as important as the simple fact that they are, here. The drama was not necessary.

Colbie was not that sort of liar. Alicia portrayed her though as hell on wheels. Get drunk in a bar and fight the biggest man. Whup his ass too. She too had a son from a marriage (I think) to a man who brutally beat her. How could she be both victim and aggressor? That was confirmed by others on the crew who knew her better than I. We rarely worked together. When we did, she was polite but quite shy around me. I was beginning to see the semi's driving through the gaping holes of Alicia's stories and I figured Colbie, being a lesbian was not very comfortable around straight men. How to relate? Well, we had the same tastes in women....

The rumor mill that runs every job everywhere belatedly told me that Colbie had had a crush on me. What's not to like about a Ferrerman- forget that part! We don't have all day here, even though we do.

I wasn't all that attracted to Colbie but, yeah, her instead of Alicia. In fact, when I began that last big job for that company and my boss gave me Alicia and a black guy, Marcus, and told me to fire them both, I asked for Colbie in exchange. I wasn't gonna fire Marcus- I liked the guy. I knew though that Alicia was nothing but trouble for me personally and at that time, I would have loved to see her gone. Story for another day but, my genius boss wanted me to fire BOTH of them, and be given NO ONE to replace them. We were busy at the time....

Following orders will usually get you killed if you know the boss is an idiot so, I took Alicia under my wings citing The Godfather adage about keeping one's friends close and one's enemies closer. I may have mentioned that wisdom before. IT NEVER FUCKING WORKS!! EVER!!! Don't try it at home or at work. There's a reason enemies are enemies.

Long story short, I got played by Alicia. You knew that quickly and I've long since known that. The thing is, I don't know *why* and the other thing is, it doesn't matter *why*. It doesn't matter if Colbie was crushing on me and it doesn't matter why Alicia cared and manuvered to stop it. Ours is not to make sense of the insensible. Colbie was not to be the love of my life. Likewise, I wasn't gonna be hers. It's better if two people can figure that out for themselves but, that isn't always up to us.

I hope Colbie finds a nice guy- or girl- someday. She's a sweetheart.

I wish I had fired Alicia.

Monday, August 30, 2010

What the????

Last week former GOP chairman, Ken Mehlmen, announced that he is gay. I recall a time when such a thing was a shocker. Hopefully, someday we can all enjoy a time when such a thing isn't necessary or newsworthy.

But, right now it is newsworthy and kind of a shocker because the guy was one of those republicans leading the party against gay marriage or any other gay rights, all while- I'm gonna guess- sucking men's dicks.... That's a little incongruous. A tad disingenuous at the very least.

Just like Homer Simpson prefers his homosexuals "flaming", I prefer *mine* to be compassionate. (Ferrerman note: I don't actually *have* any homosexuals. You, uh, haven't heard anything, have you?)

So, I wasn't shocked by Mehlmen's admission. I've *busted* at least three people in the threads who I had no idea were gay because there posts and attitudes were so fucking far right on guns, politics, smoking etc that, well, I just couldn't imagine them being compassionate about anything. And by "busting" I don't mean I outed them in any way. Their sexuality is not my business (beyond this post) nor is it the business of other posters. Two of the three, were passionately working to take away the rights of others on one thread and then found defending gay rights on another. And on the "gay" threads i pointed this out to them. If there were a blush icon on the 'net, these two would be crimson.

Of all the groups of people on this earth, who is more persecuted right now than gays? Though every culture has then, every culture also hates them. They can hide in the closet like Ken Mehlmen did but, how many come out in public against their *own people* like Mehlmen did (while party chairman)? But worse, how many other gays are out there (but not being out) and raging against immigrants, Muslims, liberals etc, spewing hate for others?

Maybe it's the convenience of the smokescreen of party of hate? It disgusts me. If you've ever been persecuted by anyone for anything, shouldn't your eyes be opened to the plight of others? And not only your eyes but your mind? You walked in your shoes and now you want to criticize the footwear of others?

Sunday, August 29, 2010


They hate us. They hate America. They want America to fail and they revel in every defeat they perceive in their evil, twisted minds. It disgusts me that they are allowed to live here, in the country they hate so much.

I speak, of course, of tea-baggers.

You thought I went south for a second there, eh? Ha! Sorry.

Teabaggers, *patriots* aren't much different from the Muslim terrorists they sometimes rail against. They have more in common with them than they will ever admit. Both want America to fail so that they can take over. Both are working towards America to fail so they can take over. And, to an extent, both are doing it.... for God.

Fucking ironic, huh?

Freedom OF religion also means freedom FROM religion. Separation of church and state, means that, although we are a largely Christian nation, that doesn't make us "a Christian nation". The founders seemed very certain about religious majority NOT ruling the country. They were kinda progressive in that respect....

If you don't think anything else the founding fathers ever said was righteous, profound or from God's lips to their ears, you have to respect that they took the time and had the foresight to understand that NO church should run this country. They knew what they were talking about. See, there had been this thing with England....

But, curious how the *right* in this country, all wrapped up in the flag as they are, embraces religion..... as they attack America and America's latest enemies, the Muslims, for their religion.

The Koran means as little to me as the Bible. If either means something to you, great. Just don't use either against me. It's wrong, it's rude and, well, it unconstituitional to do so.

I read alot lately about the Koran and Sharia law. Evidently, according to Sharia law, a husband is allowed to beat his wife for various infractions. (This has nothing to do with spankings so, whew, I'm covered!)

That sounds like our "rule of thumb". Up through the 19th century, it was permissable for a man to beat his wife (or children) as long as he used a stick .... no bigger than his thumb! Yeah, THAT'S where that expression came from! I guess that, at the time, it was the Christian thing to do. And I think it was based on something from the bible....

Anyone who lets a book written two thousand years rule their life needs.... such a book, I guess. Life's not hard enough that you need guideance from people who, though they roamed the earth with dinosaurs could not see the value of them in fuel to power automobiles at the time?? Your local book store has a full rack of self help books, each one better than the last and all, an easier read than the Bible. Though I'm not a communist, Marx or Engles nailed it when they said "religion is the opiate of the masses" and, that, "if God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him". Religion is designed to keep people in line. That's probably not a bad thing....seemed like a good idea at the time.... then they figured out it was a money-maker.....

And, it's control, which is what everybody wants in their life. If you gain control, the money follows. But, it's all about the money. Don't kid yourself.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

If you don't start none, there won't be none....

That's a familiar refrain down south. Often it's an admonition for someone to behave.

"If you don't start none, there won't be none."

This is to say that there might be trouble, Johnny, but, don't you be the one to start it. You'll be that much better of a person for it.

But, others I noticed, would say the same phrase but put the emPHAsis on the wrong syllABLES.

"If YOU, don't start none, THERE won't BE none!"

In other words, let's get this party started!

This is the way I look at the news media these days. FOX, of course, is fucking horrible and clearly intent on creating news rather than reporting it. MSNBC and CNN aren't much better. The cable news giants are all about opinion rather than reporting. I realize that they have 24 hours to fill, seven days a week and you can only say so much about our two wars or a bombing in the Phillipines and so it's easy to fall in to the trap of speculating about the news.

I don't know which came first here, the NFL pre-game shows with a bunch of ex-players sitting around wondering what might happen in the upcoming game or a bunch of ex-politicians prognosticating about what might happen on the political field. It's the same crap.

So, no, I do not have a preferred venue for *news* these days. Hell, I don't even trust drunks and small children anymore. It seems all of them have a book to sell as well.

The *news* whether it be local or cable or even network, seems to be all about telling me how I feel about an issue and then asking me how I feel about it and would I might like to text or twitter....

Perhaps I'm officially old but, Walter Cronkite didn't do that. When he took off his glasses, rubbed his eyes and calmly told us that John F. Kennedy was dead, he didn't ask us how we felt about that. He didn't tell us. He knew. We knew.

Nobody knows anymore. Nobody thinks for themself. They think OF themself but not FOR. It doesn't matter if it's the cute blondes on FOX or the cute brunettes on MSNBC. They are asking you how you feel about what they just told you, TO feel.

That's not news. That's pornography.

Friday, August 27, 2010


Several years ago when the ex phoned me to announce that she was re-marrying on the next Saturday that June, I laughed and said, "Happy birthday to me!"

"Oh, is THAT your birthday?" she replied, knowing it was EXACTLY my birthday.

Puh-leeze. I'll venture that every female, dedicated non-reader of this work knows the birthday of EVERY current, ex or future ex boyfriend or husband. You know you do because you had to do that special birthday thing us guys desire so.

Of course, I'm probably talking about a birthday cake.


So, when Glenn Beck says he didn't have Martin Luther King's "I Had a Dream" speech (47th anniversary thereof) in mind when he planned his big deal, I'm inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt. But, when the fucking bitch not only steals the day but the Lincoln Memorial location(!) this officially makes him as awful a human being as either one of my one and a half ex-wives.

A lot of us fellas are bad about personal dates in our lives. I think, for example that both of my one-and-a-half marriages transpired on June fifth (different years). I think but, I don't know.I think I fucked up one night with #2 and mentioned that #1 *might* have been on the similar June day.

"Isn't that funny, honey...."

She didn't appreciate irony much. In fact, she was really pissed. So, as it stands now, the half-wife, *may* have also been a June five bride. I don't know and it doesn't really matter. The mere thought was the beginning of the end.

So, Glenn Beck, picking 8-28 AND the Lincoln Memorial on the 47th anniversay of the King, "I Had A Dream" speech is no accident. I really gotta believe the insane bitch did it on purpose.

I think I know from whence I speak....

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Scenes from a suburban Porch

About a week ago I noted on my Facebook page how charmed I was by a young girl who carried with her a 13 gallon trash bag as she walked the family Collie. Cute kid. She was prepared for ANYTHING.

There's a quote about integrity being doing the right thing when no one is looking. I think I got that right- were you reading? You know- you pick up your dogs poop even when you are reasonably certain there is no Ferrerman (or anyone else) sitting on their porch. You do it because.... that's what you are supposed to do.

In my quiet suburban village, it's not so much dog poop and irresponsible pet owners that are a problem but, teenage boys. No one cleans up after their boys when they go out for walks! Why is that?

Now, mind you, to my knowledge these boys are not pooping on lawns all over town. Well, I HOPE not. I don't know. I don't want to know....

But, I do know that they are peeing all over town. And really, I understand that. When you gotta go, ya gotta go. Been there, done that. Discretion being the better part of valor and urinary functions, you find a place behind a bush and let it flow. But, one night last Fall I stepped out on to porch to see a teenage boy walking from the side of my house, in the darkness. His hands were at his side so I knew he wasn't carrying a TV or stereo equipment from my house or the neighbors. He had been taking a leak. No doubt.

But, I fuck with people because I can and I asked him what the fuck he was doing, boy.

He mumbled something about nothing and, without a look, got into a mini-van with three really cute chicks. The girls giggled and the van sped away. In their haste, they forgot one very drunk boy who staggered out from the next house down, past me, as he tried to catch up with the van.

I remember thinking: Well, I'm officially old now and I'm glad I'm no longer in Memphis. It's one thing to be a cranky old man shaking his fist at those damn kids. It's another to be carrying a 9mm and fearing the night.

I wasn't armed that night. I was glad I didn't need to be.

Kinda nice after so many years in Memphis where anything could happen, to be in a place where nothing really happens.

On the porch last night, I heard a group of boys approaching. Kids. One of them said the oddest thing.

"You know how when we rap we say "yo-yo-yo"? When Spanish people rap they say "ay-ay-ay".

Odd because, these were very white kids. I don't think of "we" and white kids when I think of rap. But, kids today....

I was actually impressed at his language. He didn't say "spicks" or "niggers".

"Spanish people"!

Anyway, another boy in the passel of eight or so announced he was going to take a piss, "right here". I thought: "Here we go. Come piss by the side of my porch. You'll get a lit cigarette in your face (hopefully) and an old man saying: 'What the fuck are you doing, PUNK!?"

Well, that didn't happen. Evidently the kid pissed from the sidewalk into the neighbors bushes. No harm, no foul really.They walked on across the street to the one boys house, oblivious to me in the darkness of my porch. They milled around a bit, made a phone call and moved o in the direction from which they had come.

Now, this is where it got interesting. Two younger, smaller boys on bikes rode by. I don't know this but, it sounded like the same kid who referrred to "Spanish people" suddenly called out "NIGGERS, BITCHES, HO'S!" at the boys on the bikes.

The kids on the bikes slowed a bit and retorted: "You got a problem?" To which the other boy replied "99 bitch!"

I have no idea what that means. I assume it's ghetto. I was just glad it was the suburbs of Chicago. These kids wouldn't last long in Memphis.

I was impressed with the younger ones. They slowed but they knew they were out numbered. There was no shame in riding on. A kid mouthed off. They responded. Life went on. It could have been a lot worse. I'm glad it wasn't.

Monday, August 16, 2010


I'm beat. I admit it. I got no more and I cannot win.

I cannot beat Craig. No one can!

"What are you talking about, Ferrerman?" someone might ask. "You cannot beat Craig? YOU? You took on and defeated, Angelique770, one of the internets foremost fake therapists. You beat her like a rented, red-headed step-mule! AND her gang too! AND the hired guns in her employ. You made Topixtown safe for citizen posters of all races, creeds and colors. The mere mention of your name in Topixtown sends what's left of the dregs and ninnies into panic.

And you are saying you cannot beat Craig?!!??"

Yes, that's what I'm saying. Thanks for paying attention. No, I cannot beat Craig and I must say that no one can.

I'll tell you why.

Craig is a fucking idiot.

Ya know how W.C. Fields said, "You can't cheat an honest man"? Well, I'm saying that you can't beat a fucking idiot. Sure, I *beat* him on my worst day. I can phone the beatings in and beat him. I post better ASLEEP than he does AWAKE. If I died tomorrow, I would STILL out-post him for a hundred years. Is it because I'm that good? Well, yeah, but, it's mostly because he's a fucking idiot. And, you can't beat a fucking idiot.

I'm not doing this alone either. I'm fighting alongside the finest posters to ever hit the reply keys. Dem- he's our Luca Brazi. He fears no one. Hegel- the finest all around poster EVER. Repug sniper- OY VEY! Sel- pound for pound (and still losing weight) the best lesbian poster, bar none. Curly1- on the DL but, resting up for the finals in November. Leo- hubbalabubbala (and I'm still lacking a redhead on my resume....) And not to forget Kooky, Fetch boy and my own pal, Larry Meber.

If this were baseball, we'd be the '27 Yankees but, we can't beat the '62 Mets? If this were a UFC fight, I, we, would be standing over a knocked down, drug out Craig. He'd be toothless, bloody, both eyes blackened, broken ribs... the ref holding our hands up in victory....

....and Craig would be laughing his ass off at how bloody he had gotten our hands.... thus *winning* the fight....

See, kids, Craig is too fucking stoopid to realize he's been beat. The guy declares victory with every post he pounds out. Every cut-n' paste from FOXNOISE= VICTORY FOR CRAIG! Every- well, you get the idea.

No, I can't beat him. No, we can't beat him. No one can beat Craig. He beat himself long ago. He's just too stupid to realize it. Like a 3 year old who covers his eyes and believes himself to be invisible, so goes Craig. Failure, is not an option for Craig. Neither is making coherent posts....

Craig will see this blog post as a *victory* for Craig. A speed-reader with a 160 IQ, he will read the title and understand that and that, will suffice for him. Another notch on his keyboard. Ferrerman goes down in flames. He'll wish more than two people read my blog then....

And so it goes....

Friday, August 6, 2010

Duplicity, The Mother if Invention

Back in the day, when Angelique 770 was reigning over the ninnies and the underclass of dregs, I used to picture her faceless self with one of those bluetooth head sets on scouring the threads for posts by Ferrerman or other undesirables. It might have gone something like this:

"Ferrerman on todays Amy thread! He's talking about spanking bottoms! Get on it!"

To wit some ninnie would respond: "Yes, your majesty, it is so!"

Then a *student* or *lackey* would spring into action. Another one would offer her a fresh glass of bubble tea.

I'm probably not too far off in that. I don't know if she had that technology. I do recall her calling people "OFFSHORE! NOW!" on the threads when I'd be in disguise and, well, trolling. (Ferrerman note: I don't do much serious trolling. It's usually quite apparent that it's "me" by tone, humor and writing style. In the old days, the Westchester ISP was a dead giveaway. I was pretty much the only person in Westchester with a computer. Not true now and Westchester is no longer my fake town. Again, I choose noms de Topix according to the topic at hand or to tie in a joke. Its that simple). Most of the time I'm just Ferrerman. I like it that way. Simplicity can also be the mother of invention.

But, with some people, trolling gets quite complicated. Some have whatever insanity it takes to create and become a new persona. After several months of investigation, I recently found the elusive Raptor that A770 was searching high and low for. NOVA! Yep. Good old Cub/Bear and GOP fan, nova. My old punch! Jeez it was fun to get that guy fired up about racist republicans. He was a lot of fun. But, as the story goes, he had a big fight with race- some bullshit about race posting something ugly on his wife's blog or maybe it was that Sox fan/twobit *sportswriter* whose name escapes me now. I don't know. But, it seemed to me at the time to be a put up job, a fake fight. I mean, even the regs now fight EVERY fucking day about some stupid thing but, they always come back. Nova only came back long enough to say hello, briefly fight with race and then go away again. He was just checking in. More dog and pony show.

So, on the surface, nova left the gang in a fit of rage to "work on his marriage" which had been damaged by race' or Nada Surf- that's the dudes name! (He was a lot of fun in his time) Well, if there were trouble in the nova household, I hope they worked it out. I wouldn't wish speed-dating on anyone.

But, about the time nova left, "redheadlovessmallmen" appeared. This poster dogged out Angela for her preference for penis' under 8 inches. Then that poster seemed to morph into "a770isaho" and dogged out A770 for her pretentious *therapist* act. And later, "crunchy bacon" appeared and seemed to have it in for that know-it-all, TamoraRose.

Some of it was funny stuff. The thing was, none of the girls took it to heart. They seemed to brush it aside as if it were nothing. Please. These are NOT thick-skinned people. If they were armed, they'd be shooting each other every day for disagreements about procedure at four-way stop signs. I wasn't buying that they would let any of these personas slide. Even more telling, they were nice to him.

Crunchy bacon seemed to be joining me in battle against 770. *Seemed* to be... I noticed that they actually got along well. She would accuse him of being Raptor, implore him to come back to the fold and yada-fucking-yada. More dog and pony show! Clearly they were going through the motions. Gee, for what purpose...?

Crunchy started posting a while back with my friends on my political threads. I had never trusted the guy under any name but it particularly perplexed me because a few months back, I had called him out in the threads. He bowed up (as much as one can in the threads) and advised me that I didn't want any part of him. So I did what you do ('specially down south) when somebody bows up on you). I said, bring it.

He didn't bring it. Evidently, there was nothing to be brung.

I was concerned (but not much) that I had tipped my hand. I didn't know who exactly he was but, I knew he wasn't right. But, keep your friends close and your enemies closer, they say. There's always one sure way to bring a man down.

A woman!

We didn't even have to do anything. "H" is my friend. She's about the best poster I've ever had the pleasure of posting with, an excellent fighter without being vulgar or mean. There's just something about her that drives ordinary men wild. Now, as a Ferrerman and a FB friend of hers, I'm here to tell you that she is VERY spankable. I know about stuff like that as I am a Ferrerman. But, also as a Ferrerman, I know that H is very married and very loyal to her husband and family. I'm quite respectful of that. Kinda protective too. She's my friend. Spankable bottoms may come and go but, friends can go on forever. It's good to be Ferrer and know these things.

Crunchy was quite taken with H. Through the miracle of Topix PMing, he tried to formulate a liasion with H. Yes, he was married and yes he knew she was but....

H said no. Crunchy soon slinked away. H and I compared notes on Crunchy. Well, this is Topix bullsht but Crunchy and nova sure do have a lot in common! Elmer Fudd too. Elmer (whom in a post Tamora mentioned it was hard for her to remember which was the *good* Elmer and the *bad* Elmer as there are two) recently lauded me for my take on the illegal immigrant dilemma. Elmer noted that he doesn't agree with Ferrerman on anything but, that one issue. Hey, bro- Cubs and Bears! That admission kinda cinched it.

So, what the fuck here? Ferrerman is so important that people feel the need to go deep undercover to infiltrate him? Wait- I don't like how THAT sounds... But, I didn't mean it THAT way so, I'll go on. Really- why all the subtrefuge? Why ladies in red and parcels passed in alleys in Prague and phony fights and people wanting to join "team Ferrerman"? Let me go all Joe Pesci here: What the fuck is so important about me!!?? I'm just a poster on Topix, when the day is done. It's just something I do. It isn't my life, it shouldn't be yours.

And, crunchy/nova/whoever- how do you know I'm not Hegel?

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


Believe it or not, I have some Topix friends who are not liberal democrats. They don't describe themselves as republicans or tea-partiers. They just happen to be people who hate Barak Obama and believe that EVERYTHING he does is wrong....


Well, one of them sent me a chainmail today. It seemed, on the surface, to be about a German woman I had never heard of who had performed an act of valiant bravery in Warsaw Poland during WWII. In a nutshell, she risked life and limb to spirit out as many Jewish babies and young children as she could, knowing what the Nazi's had in store for them. Eventually she was caught and beaten for her work.

The jist of the chainmail *seemed* to be that, still, after 63 years, she had not been awarded for her efforts with a Nobel Peace Prize.

Well, I don't think that's why she did it in the first place....

But, the chainmail noted, Al Gore and Barak Obama HAD been awarded Nobel honors!

Neither one won their awards for their respective WWII records. In fact, neither served in WWII. I'm thinking Al Gore was too young and I know Obama had not been born yet. So, yeah, neither man did a fucking thing heroic in WWII. I will concede that. That doesn't make them "pussies" or "draft dodgers". It just makes them "not alive at the time".

The chainmail also included a heart-warming comic strip, one that I don't keep up with, but probably should. In the strip, a little girl is sitting on a park bench with an old man. She notices the tatoo on his arm and remarks that it isn't very interesting nor very well done and that it's just a bunch of numbers. He tells the child that he got it when he was about her age and then tells her why he was given it.

Six million plus Jews, Gypsies, homosexuals and assorted other "undesirables" were murdered by the Nazis. That's the standard figure and it's probably low. And it does not include the Russians killed in battle against the Nazi's or murdered by Stalin or the millions of others who perished fighting tyranny but, the chainmail put that figure at 20 million for the Russians.

The little girl begins to cry as she imagines the horror of war and hatred.

She asks the old man if he keeps the tatoo to remember what happened.

No, he says. It is to remind YOU of what happened...

Very powerful stuff. As I write it, I'm welling up with tears.

So then, heart strings properly tugged, the chainmail goes on to note that Islam denies the holocaust. Well, I don't know about that. I know that they deny pork chops and they are very serious about dress codes for women but, I'm not certain what their stance is on the holocaust. They MIGHT officially believe it never happened and, if so, fuck 'em. This is very recent, very well documented history. For anyone to deny it is insane. That puppet president in Iran comes to mind. But, so do American Nazi's and other idiots who fail to see the vast amount of evidence- much of it documented by the Nazi perpetrators themselves. It happened. It should never happen again. I promise you that I get that part.

What I don't get is how Gore and Obama figure into this. And Nobel prizes and noble German women of yore who have gone unrecognized for their valiant sacrifices. I don't get the connection. When you factor in Islam, I get further lost. Are Al Gore and Barak Obama conspiring with Islam to kill Jews and Russians? Did Gore and Obama, at the very least, conspire to win Nobel Peace Prizes and in doing so, sweep the leg of a deserving German woman? Maybe we should remember the holocaust to make sure it never happens again? So, what is it?

Well, it's chainmail. Mikey in Memphis sent me one the other day about natural selection and stupid people. I *got* that one. Amongst other things, don't stick your head in a sewer grate lest you get stuck and a storm comes along and drowns you.

Yes, we should remember the holocaust and make sure it never happens again, to anyone. ANYONE.

We should also remember the populist leader who brought us the holocaust via his 1930's vision of Germany. We should look into the eyes of populist leaders like Beck, Palin and Bachman and notice the glimmer of evil. And never forget! There is something afoot my friends, both real and imaginary. It is the hate on the right and it's on the rise. For now it's on the internet in the form of "political" websites, Topix chat forums and chainmail but it's seeping into our countrymen's hearts and minds and growing every day. Why, and why NOW, I don't really know.

I don't guess they didn't really know back in Germany in the 30's either. But, then it happened...

Thursday, July 29, 2010


Last week I made one of my semi-regular trips to Du Page County to buy smokes. The taxes in DuPage, though high enough, are less ridiculous than Cook County where I live nor as obscene as the city of Chicago. I noticed a change in the lay-out of the store and asked the clerk why they had remodeled.

There was a new law, he sighed. "We had to. No more self-service with cigarettes". He went on to explain that the powers that be were concerned about easy access to cigarettes for children but noted that they were allowed to have cigars on display in the store. Like kids wouldn't steal and smoke cigars? Whoever passed the law seemed more concerned with minors stealing smokes than the store owner but, likely, the intent of the law was "out of sight/out of mind". For years now it has been illegal for minors to purchase cigarettes. You would think that were enough. I did not determine if it were a new state law I hadn't heard about but I suspect it was a local ordinance. Illinois, like most states, has a cigarette based economy. This is what our politicians learn while they are in prison: WOO BUDDY- PEOPLE WILL PAY A LOT FOR SMOKES WHEN THEY ARE HARD TO COME BY! The taxes suck but I've heard prison stories and I fear what else they might want from us...

Now, every time the republicans lose an election, they start talking about the evils of 'big government' and how we need 'small government'. The problem is they whine about this at the Federal level. No doubt our Federal government can blow some money on $500 hammers, $1000 toilet seats and wars with countries NOT directly related to 9/11 but, they can also print money whenever they need it so, taxes (though complicated) ain't that bad of a deal. Where government needs to get smaller is at the level where it's already smaller, your state and local idiots. These losers can't print their own money like the feds but they sure can print up ordinances and laws that can be exchanged for money! The Trib this morning (they STILL hate teachers, by the way) noted that a lot of municipalities are getting into the impound business. There is big money in cars. The confiscation of cars, I mean. It turns out that people need them and are willing to pay big bucks to get them back so a lot of towns have made it easier to have their employees gather and hold vehicles for ransom by passing new laws to make it so. It was cute and fun when it was designed to take Corvettes away from drug dealers but, now it's taking away grandma's Buick more often than that.

It's your state and local legislators digging into your pockets far more than the federals. Regardless of which party you worship THEY ALL LOVE TAXES! They just want YOU to pay them rather than their high-rolling friends who can pay but make political donations instead. Cigarettes are the prime example as they are a 'sin tax'. Oh, fuck them smokers- make 'em pay! But, then the states (feds too) discover new things like, say, sodapop leading to obesity. There sure are a lot of fat people. The decent thing to do (knowing that it won't change a thing) is to tax those people who choose to drink Cokes, get fat and walk on county roads (damaging them) to pay to get their impounded cars out hock. It's a two-fer-one deal. The state gets revenue and the fat people get punished like they should because they're porkers. Fuck them fatties!

Do I need to remind you that..."first they came for the trade unionists but, I was not a trade unionist..."?

Republicans (usually not in office) always say: "If I ran my business like the Federal government...yada yada... I'd be OUT of business in no time!"

Disingenuous hyperbole. It shouldn't be but, it is. Every state, county, town, city, village is supposed to have a budget. How about maybe trying to meet that budget? Perhaps, set realistic goals to make meeting that budget easier? Maybe try to do things right rather than print up laws to garner new tax revenue because you can't do things right. And if you can't meet your budget and manage the tax revenue, invade the neighboring town. At least be pro-active...

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Then What?

I guess it's slowly sinking in amongst the rightwingers that socialism has been a part of our government since the Great Depression when Social Security was created and into Medicare and the like. They are also realizing that social services including police and fire protection reek of socialism as well. And, of course, socialism is the same thing as communism, nazism and fascism so, all these things are bad. You just can't have a system with an "ism" after it. Muslimism comes to mind. Islamism. Capitalism- that one's OK. Forget about that one. God clearly intended that to be our only "ism" when he guided the hands of the Founders as they forged the Constituition, clearly meaning that the 2nd amendment was the important, all encompassing (everything else is just filler) part of the paperwork.

The reichwingers are the most hands-on m-effers this side of the Founding Fathers. These guys can do it all! They can protect the country (with their guns) so, no need for a standing Army. These guns also trickle down to police work. No need for cops if everyone has a gun. Immigration? Guns can handle that too... I don't know how they intend to build roads or put out fires with guns but, I'm sure they're working on it.

The Chicago Tribune, a conservative newspaper here in town, is against Illinois teachers having pensions. Four percent of the teachers in Illinois make $100k per year. 96% do not. I'm not sure where the Tribune went to school but, 4% is a lot less than 96%. So, the vast majority, DO NOT make $100k. Until earler this year, the Tribune was in the baseball business and they seemed to have no problem with 25 of their employees getting paid millions to play baseball (with the best pension in the world this side of AIG maybe) and only working 6 months out of the year. Lazy ass teachers work nine months out of the year and none have them can hit for power. I guess the rub is that ticket, hot dog and beer sales paid the Cub players while taxes- from you and me- pay the light-hitting teachers. So, naturally, save money by eliminating the fat cat teachers and doing away with their pensions.

I'll say this about communists: Though they methods are harsh, they know the value of educators. That is why they kill them when they enter a village. They know that to succeed in their quest for domination, they must first kill the intellectuals- anyone who may use thought and logic against them and influence others. It's crude but effective. The Trib though, would rather starve them out. Take away the carrot of a pension, the chance at making a good, honest living educating our sons and daughters and you save millions in pension money and hundreds of dollars in bullets. This from the folks who brought Milton Bradley to the city.

I'm not sure what their remedy is for teachers and their fat salaries. Teachers, firemen, cops DO NOT make enough money. To offer them less and NO retirement, is absurd. What sort of teacher might your children get if light factory work paid better? Shouldn't you care? Shouldn't the Worlds Greatest Newspaper (WGN) care? Why are they trying to out-crazy the wingnuts? To me, this is as absurd as the wingers who call for armed insurrection because we have a colored president.

Your average republican these days sounds more like an anarchist than the bearded hippie living in a commune ever could have. It's one thing to listen to the tired rhetoric of the need for "smaller government" everytime they lose an election (note that government was anything but small during eight years of Bush or Reagan...) but, they seem to be taking it a bit too far these days as they lean so far right they are falling over the gun nuts living in the woods of Idaho and Michigan. They really expect that all 300+ million of us can survive on our own just like the Founding Fathers allegedly intended? Simply eliminate social services, welfare, Social Security, unemployment, Corporate taxes (they are people too, now) and we individuals will either make it or we won't? Then what?

You've got to be fucking kidding me. Despite a Civil war and a sad record of race relations in our past, this might be the worst chapter in our history.

Then what?