Sunday, June 13, 2010

The Work of A Ferrerman

I finished up a job the other day. The customers were, of course, ecstatic and extremely pleased with my work. Things being as they have been the past year, there was one more thing I had to tell them. In these difficult times, there is always one more thing.

"I want to inform you folks", I said in my most professional voice, "that a FERRERMAN did this job for you. I just thought you should know that."

Mike and sally seemed stunned. A Ferrerman? I wasn't sure how to read them at first.

In the past year, the reactions to such proclamations by me have been mixed. Some have called the police, even SWAT teams.


One pretty woman laughed and smiled coyly when I revealed my true identity.

"I knew you were a Ferrerman that first day when, after I made you a nice lunch, you gave me a moderately severe spanking in gratitude for that ham & swiss on rye!"

Well, I had to admit that that was a dead give-away. It's always something...

But, most are taken aback at first, surprised that a Ferrerman would be so talented, gracious and pleasant, like Mike and Sally were.

"Ferrerman?" they reiterated. "The scourge of the threads? The guy who almost but not even came close to outing a woman's real name, forcing her to nearly one year later use her real name on her avatar for some insane, inexplicable reason? The same Ferrerman who exposed the fake therapist Angelique770 as a fraud and as a possible 300# disabled longshoreman named 'Lou'? The same Ferrerman who then *forced* said fake therapist to dog him out in the threads because he had brought her fake therapist empire down like the house of old maid cards that it was? The same Ferrerman who, after busting A770 joked to 3e that he had "busted her boss", causing 3e to insanely interpret that as meaning: 'I know where you work and I'm going to eat your liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti!' some two fucking weeks after the fact!!? YOU are THAT Ferrerman??"

Yes, I replied.

"Oh, OK. We're thinking of re-doing the dining room. Can you fit us in?"

Well, that was a much nicer reaction than I had been expecting. Much better than the SWAT team or the unfortunate incident with the National Guard...

But, it is my lot in life these days after my business with the ninnies and the dregs. I've had to do a lot of "damage control" since then. It's a little weird to have imaginary people on the internet hating you as a result of their loyalty to another imaginary person on the internet, taking her at her word about your thoughts, deeds and intentions in real life. Then, when you expose that person as a fraud and they slowly realize that they had been duped, you feel sad for them as they are left as foolish flotsam and jetsam in the sea of her deceit. They are left to tread water in their own hate. Sad

I am just one man. One Ferrerman. It would be disingenuous of me to compare my plight with that of the Jews, or the Blacks or any maligned group of peoples, persecuted by false propaganda and someone's agenda of hatred.

But, I'll do that, just the same.

Yes, I am FERRERMAN. I am what I am and I is what I is. It is not a bad thing to be a Ferrerman and more people should should know this. You wouldn't have known I was a Ferrerman if you had not been told. Why should it matter? It should not. But, sadly, in some circles, it does. The only thing I ask is that you- as an individual- make up your mind about Ferrerman.

And in years to come when you talk about this- and you WILL talk about this- please be kind. And try to get it right!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Note to dedicated non-readers

Hey! I've been working a lot lately and haven't felt like writing much. Nothing personal! I love each and every thousand or so of you dedicated non-readers and have a few story ideas bouncing around in my head, just haven't sat down to hash them out yet. One, for example, is the recent revelation that A770 really IS a 300# dude named Lou! Who knew? Well, me and Thingy, that's who. So, that's one of them. We'll work on that one.

I've also had computer issues which have hindered me a bit. Hopefully, that ends soon as well. I'll be back soon, tanned, rested and ready!