Saturday, July 30, 2011

America Goes to Rehab

Amy Winehouse is dead and buried. Though I liked her singing, I honestly hadn't thought about her since a couple days after her death, until I saw one of those cut and paste Facebook status's decrying the degree of attention paid to her death versus the deaths of Marines in Aghanistan. If you're on FB, you know the drill. If it weren't Amy Winehouse it would  be Lindsay Lohan's legal troubles. I can't cut and paste and I've yet to see a canned status that made me want to learn.

I know their intentions are well meant. I'm just not sure what their intentions are.

Do they want the wars to end? Do they want celebrities to end? Do they want dead Marines to have celebrity status?

I don't know. These status updates seem to transcend party lines. I've gotten them from democrats and from some of the reichest republicans I know. Neither side are in favor of dead Marines and both seem to be not in favor of Lohan and Winehouse but, I suspect they are trying to say something else.

This is not  Sparta. We're not a Warrior Nation even though we do tend to fight a lot and have DOZENS of wars going on right now (according to the republicans...) Though we have men and women fighting and dying overseas,  these kids are not in the forefront of our collective 300+ million minds. Winehouse is no longer in the forefront of those millions of minds either. Damn, we are a fickle bunch! I bet that after the republicans collapse the economy, people won't care about that anymore either.

The thing is, whether it is war or celebrity, life goes on. We've always had both. People being aware of the death of Amy Winehouse does not trivialize the deaths of Marines in Afghanistan. Posting on Facebook about the unfairness of  it all does trivialize it.

Make this your status if you agree....

Friday, July 15, 2011

Cuckold Nation

I used to tend bar with a guy who was, reputedly, a bit a Johnny Holmes in the Penis Department. (That's on the 3rd floor, conveniently located next to Lingerie) One night the cooks made dinner for us and Billy's meal came with a banana protruding from it with (I think) two limes at the base. Huh-what?

"That one's for me" Billy said. "I guess you didn't know I've got a big dick."

"No, man and I don't care" sez I. "I don't work that side of the street!"

Billy was very offended that I might think he was gay but, he was a lover, not a fighter and he could only protest so much. I'd a beat his ass and he knew that. I had already heard stories, mostly from the old man regulars who worshipped him as a God. They called him "The Firehose". At their age, I couldn't fault them for living vicariously through a young stud but, it was really weird to hear them talk about *it*. I didn't. After Billy got fired for stealing, I heard he was taking two girls a night out to his van. This pissed me off. I wondered if he had ever left me or other bartenders in the weeds while he was banging some slut?  Punk.

Billy had a wife and a kid. One night, after doing a 16 year old girl, he brought home a venereal disease. The wife was pissed but, maybe she loved him. She had to know even before that, of his activities. Girls talk about boys. That's how people get reputations. She may have hated it but, she chose to share him with anonymous women, just the same.

One night a gal came into the bar. She was a mousy little thing, about 20 pounds overweight. She was not the kind of gal you'd really give a second look. I was standing in front of her, surveying the lounge area for misfits, when she said this to me:

"So, are you the guy with the big dick"?

I gave her a second look.

I'm not without portfolio but, it crossed my mind that a woman going out for the evening to get the ride of her life might have bothered to wash her hair!

"No", sez I. "He's not working tonight." Then I went off to service some waitresses in the manner in which I was being paid to do.

I was thinking about that girl and Billy after battling conservatives on Topix regarding the hot-button issue of taxing rich people. How do they differ from the mousy little chubby looking to get 5 minutes with the big chubby? How do they differ from the old men and their idol worship? How do I differ from me not beating Billy's punk ass on the principle that he was an amoral, misogynist asshole?

Well, to be fair to me, I'm not an unecessarily violent guy. There was no real reason to beat Billy's ass and there had been quite a bit of fun in punking him out from time to time. Like Topix is now. They also serve who post on Topix and make fun of reichtards. What gets me is people worshipping something they'll never have and vainly defending those that do have, that something. They speak of the rich and the corporations as "job- providers" while neverminding that those jobs tend to be taken offshore as they lay-off Americans to increase profits whilst giving their CEO selves multi-milliondollar bonus's. Somehow these people see this as "earning" such dough. Incredible. "Why" they habitually add, "should these men be penalized for their success?  Why, that is redistribution of wealth and that is communist!

Why such penis envy? Yours is never gonna get bigger. You may win the lottery or invent a longer lasting lightbulb (like GE did!) but, if the wrong color guy is POTUS you're party is only going to fight that new bulb even though your guy signed off on the legislation. Can you not see the insanity of that? Of defending the excesses of the filthy rich and offending the great un-washed? Taking away social services so that the rich can get more and some magical fucking debt ceiling can be lowered is stupid. People who despise welfare, think nothing is wrong with corporate welfare in the form of subsidies to already rich AND powerful corporations. They pretend(?) to feel sorry for them?

Obama is asking simply to go back to the tax rate of the Clinton era. This was lower than the fucking Reagan era! Everyone did better under Bill than Ron and most certainly George. They love to say: "No poor man ever gave me a job!" Well, duh. But, are rich people giving out jobs now? No. They say they will once the Bush Tax-cuts are made permanent but, while they were in effect for ten years, the magical-mystery debt ceiling was raised SEVEN times and we went into the worst recession since The Great Depression. Fucking terrorists they are. Too smart to fly their (tax deductible)  corporate jets into buildings though but bent on destroying America, just the same.

Sigh. Wake up republicans!. You are that mousy little woman at the bar looking to get fucked. You have been rode hard and put away wet by the men you want so badly and you're hoping for more! Unlike that gal at the bar, back in the day, you will....

Oh, and republicans, wash your hair! Sheesh.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

It was an honor to be nominated.....

I last saw Extremely Blonde Susan where she was waitressing at the Cafe Du Monde, on Jackson Square in New Orleans. She hadn't been a serious girlfriend of mine but I liked her and-well- she was extremely blonde. Good looking too. A young Doris Day comes to mind. I stopped for coffee.

Booty calls hadn't been invented yet (and, no, I didn't invent them) but, I was there for that purpose as well. I knew she had an insane roommate, a self-styled Voo doo Queen who had cast a spell on her involving blowing some powder in her face but, that's New Orleans. Needing a roommate myself, I thought we might unite and conquer, at least for another evening.

Susan wasn't in favor of living with me. I think she could deal with the witch and- let's face it- living together and fucking is kind of a commitment. We were both too young for that Friends With Benefits thing which I also failed to invent that day.

However, she was not at all against having sex with me. She just wanted to be paid for it.

She was looking to get into porn and wanted me to join her. It was magazine porn, of the $20 a book variety. I could make love to her and other women and get paid for it. This would seem to be a Ferrerman's dream. Mere mortal men's too.

I declined, shy I guess. I certainly had portfolio and wasn't that shy but, it sounded too structured and weird to me. I had seen the books. Penetration, cumshots and all but with a whole lot of lighting changes and a director. This was not what I was used to I really don't need third party instruction on how to make love. I don't recall if Susan had turned pro yet or if she even ever went through with it. We lost touch and I never saw her again after that. I think about her every time it snows though....

And I thought about her when I read about a gal who particpated as an extra in one of those "college party sex" things. I had been wondering what kind of money could be made in porn these days when anybody with a camera phone can be a porn producer and anyone with genitals could be a star. The girl wasn't paid and did not participate beyond cheering the actual participants. She said it was a bunch of phoney bullshit. Jenna Jamison might be the last *star* I ever heard of and might be the last mainstream star ever. I don't know- I'm not an expert. I recall reading that old school porn gals could draw lines- no facials, race-mixin,- anal, etc. If you've looked lately, they just must not object to anything! Sheesh- even a jaded Ferrerman is shocked! Back in my non-existant porn day, Extremely Blonde  Susan and I wouldn't have done some of that stuff for money or in the privacy of our homes.

The world has changed. I'm glad there are no pictures of me like that for my (future) or anyone else's grandchildren to see. What are these people thinking?