Monday, September 13, 2010

Gone Fishin'

No, not me. I never really took to fishing. I haven't a thing against it just haven't bothered since I was a kid.

No, it was Angelique who went fishing over the weekend. Well, s/he's not really a sportin' type his/herself so actually it was Sublime who baited the hook and cast the aspersions into the Topix sea. S/he, they, got a few nibbles but the fish weren't really biting.

A770 made a post in the "Kittens" thread about the grossness of performing oral on women. It simply said: "Barf!" This was in contrast to a poster called "A Noted Observer" who was in favor of the act. THAT particular poster knows what he's talking about. The guy- whoever he is- could be a Ferrerman! That's high praise, indeed.

Anyway, Sublime disavowed that A770 had actually made the barf post. She was no longer registered under that name and in fact, may never have been! He postulated that A770 was an alter ego of Crunchy Bacon.

Well, no one on Topix can stand on so many sides of an issue as Sublime. His issues have issues and he agrees with all of them.... right before telling you how wrong they all are.....

He is evidently an attorney and deals only in facts- NOT opinion.... but in his opinion.... A770 was no longer posting as A770 and therefore..... it was a FACT.....that her avatar had been hijacked..... or..... retired and picked up by someone else..... or that SHE had never been A770 at all..... and that Crunchy Bacon had indeed been A770 all along.....


I guess the idea was to open up a dialogue amongst the dregs as to who knew what and when did they know what about her. I guess- the guy was all over the place. A few of the dregs bit. Angela said she had never for a moment believed that the dregulars were part of anyones PHD dissertation because she had slept with a lot of PHD's (shows how smart THEY are....) and none of them had the time to post nonsense on the internet day and night. Good point. She also noted that A770 had claimed her husband was in the Secret Service (I think) and I had not been aware of that particular fabrication. That would put him in the Not-so Secret Service if true.

So, she never bought the bullshit. Neither did Cycle who went on to note many inconsistancies in her tales. The thing was, with the few who nibbled that day, the internet is full of liars. So what? I actually liked the ever-practical Tonka's take on it too. He said the 'net was like a TV show in that he liked some characters more than others but ultimately, it was all entertainment for him. That's the old "imaginary people" philosophy. It's just Topix- why take it seriously? Just enjoy.

Well, Sublime then began to take umbrage that other dregs- the hardcore ninnies- might have been "in on it". I often wondered that myself. Some did seem to be stroking A770 a lot, promoting her therapist skills and yada-fucking-yada. I tended to believe that they were foolish and gullible rather than un-indicted co-conspirators. You never know. Forget it Jake- it's Topixtown....

Sub did NOT want to be party to a group of liars though so, I guess, he quit the dregs for the umpteenth time! I personally have pulled him off the Topix ledge twice. Not now though. Might as well jump, as Van Halen said.

I don't think that was his mission though. I don't *know* that because we are not dealing in facts here as it is just Topix bullshit but, if the guy just now found out that Topix is full of liars, wait'll he gets in a court room.

I think that he was on a mission from A770 to find out what the remaining dregs new about her and how they felt. Perhaps she is tanned, rested and ready for a comeback and wanted to test the waters. She's still got her inner circle of ninnies and some of them made special guest appearances but said nothing remarkable and made no dramatic courtroom confessions. Not surprising. If they got played and now know this, they are embarrassed and rightfully so. If they were in on her charade, they likely wouldn't want to confess to that either. And, as A Noted Observer pointed out, it could well be that whoever A770 was/is in real life, s/he likely knew a bunch of intimate details about people who didn't really know *her* at all. That's a little creepy but, probably harmless.


Sunday, September 12, 2010

Last Call!!

Back in my bartending days I used to- at first- try to settle combative drunks down, by very fatherly advising them that they might be dealing with the police if they didn't settle down.

Sometimes this worked but, more often than not, they replied: "Go aheAD I ill KICk THEyRE AsS 2!!!!!!"

(Editor note: the sp's are Ferrerman being "cute" to illustrate *drunk speak*. Neat, eh?)

The thing was the "....i'll kick their ass TOO...." that always got me. In their inebriated mind, they had already kicked my ass so, five or six cops would be 'no problem'. Then, ON TO POLAND!

This is how I view the tea partiers. Earlier in the day (two years ago) they were fine and sorta sober. But tonight (right now) they are liquored up and spoiling for a fight.

Things need to go their way, "RIGHT NOW!!! That hot chick, I want to see her tits, NOW! DRINKS ON THE HOUSE!!!! WOO HOO!!! Fuckin' niggers! MOOSESLIMES!! Huh? FIVE DOLLARS!!??? FOR A BEER?????"

You might know how it goes. You go out to have a good time and, invariably, somebody just doesn't get it and they fuck up and try to ruin it for everybody else because, well, it seems like the thing to do at the time.

Well, that's America. Everybody is different more or less and everybody reacts in their own way. It's one of the things that makes us great as a country. We can all be out for the evening, in the same place and most of us can enjoy it but, some people just don't get it.

The tea party and those who follow them, are like the drunk at the end of the bar who, two or three past anyone's limit, thinks, anything goes and should go.

"End 'big government'"? "No standing armies"? "End social services"? "No gun control"?

If you really want all this, move to Somalia. They already have all that.

To think that everyone in a nation of 300 million can fend for themselves with no rules and regulations is beyond drunkeness. It's idiocy.

I think the teabaggers have been over-served.

I don't know if coffee will help but, someone has to think about reforming this country without hate and violence. We have a man in office trying to do just that. He needs our help.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Something Wonderful Right away!

I think I have mentioned before that, the Republicans, after 8 horrid years of Bush, pretty much knew that '08 just wasn't gonna happen and they simply fielded a team (a veteran and a rookie) and set their sights on the proverbial next year. As a lifelong Cub fan, I certainly understand this and have grown quite used to it. By "used to it" I mean tired of it.

However, instead of drafting new players and rebuilding, they continued to not only dismantle their own team but they kept on trying to demolish the country. And they blamed it all on the new guy.

The expectations for Obama were high but none were higher than the republicans who (derisively) deemed him "The Messiah". I recall reading posts immediately after November of '08 and before January '09, deriding the then president elect for "not having done anything yet". Amazing but true. George Bush was, you recall, STILL president then. In their haste to present Obama as a "King", a "Dictator" and even a "Fueher", they believed their own fantasies about him being totalitarian and DEMANDED immediate results.

They had left the country in such turmoil that no one could easily clean up the mess over night. That's why they didn't run serious candidates then. They knew they weren't gonna make it.

So they became the "Party of No" and splintered off into the Tea Party who picked up gun nuts and Nazi's along the way and a few Libertarians and independents as well. And they continued to stymie Obama at every turn because his failure would be their victory in 2012. Now THAT is a political philosophy. It's like setting your house on fire and deciding to put the fire out by flooding the basement.

And now they are setting their sights on November and taking back the house and all, ensuring them of the White House in '12. It seems kinda imperative to do this because, well, you can only fuck the country up so much before you realize, "Oh boy- we fucked this country UP!" So, they can't wait for '12 and must act NOW!

Good luck with that. Should they prevail in November, I for one am going to DEMAND, instant satisfaction. In fact, taking a cue from them and that they are so certain of victory when the leaves have fallen, I WANT IT NOW!

"What??!! You haven't done it YET??!! Fuck you I want my country back NOW!!!!" My coffee party comrades are already buying up ammunition, supplies (coffee amongst them) and getting ready to "take back America...." NOW!!!

My thanks to FOX and the teabaggers for setting the bar this low. You all can "Remember November" now. I promise you, we will learn from it and remember it later.

Be careful what you wish for!

Friday, September 3, 2010


"What are, 'things that can only happen to a Ferrerman'"


"Potent potables for $600 please...."

We'll get back to Jeopardy! later. Right now, yeah, as near as I can figure, I was once cock-blocked by a lesbian. I have no idea why. The other girl was a lesbian too. They were cousins as well. Yeah.


Nope. Colbie- maybe, but, I really didn't think I was eligible. Alicia- no. I knew I wasn't eligible and I was fine with that.

I knew we had two lesbians on the job but I didn't meet them until several weeks into the new company. we had been on a hiring binge just prior to this recession and most of our new hires were Central Americans. Mi Espanol es asi asi pero me ingles es perfecto! I saw these two from about 50 feet as I approached the shop that morning and I thought, great, they finally hired some Americans! Short ones but, Americans nonetheless.

Upon closer inspection (not THAT close!), I figured out they were the company lesbians. They both had that butch thing going on with their hair and well, paint clothes don't really flatter a woman's body. I think that went with their territory. Walking with either one of them usually elicted a "Hey fellas" salutation from well-meaning strangers and the girls were tickled by that. Mission accomplished. I recall eye-balling a beautiful young girl in a Kroger in Memphis and thinking that I better not stare too much because her boyfriend looked kinda tough. Her boyfriend, of course, was a chick.I later saw a pic of Alicia's "wife" and she was quite good looking. Colbie's, not so much.

Almost any woman on a construction site is a hot commodity. It's strange but true but you get a couple dozen guys together with no expectation of women, and one shows up, it is as if she is THE only woman on earth. The guts get sucked in and the testosterone begins to rise. A lot of fellas were interested in both the girls. Maybe it was the *challenge* of seducing a lesbian. That and the fact that, having seen some of their wives, making love to a woman who looked like a guy might have been a step up for some. Within the company, both were highly desired.

In fact, I was both hero and villian because many in the company were certain that I had slept with Alicia. They were certain that I had boldly gone where no man had gone before.

Kudos to you, Ferrerman! You fucking prick! One guy- I heard him on her phone- cried when he called her with the revelation that she had fallen in love with "him", that "him" being me.

Great, I thought. Now I get to fight the meanest guy on the crew for not actually stealing his fantasy love and not sleeping with her!

And, of course, I hadn't. But, when some people get an idea about some other people's romance in their head, it STAYS there. Denial becomes an admission of guilt. Same with stone-walling or telling the accuser to "get a fucking life". You are guilty, son....

All of that though, had little to do with the cock-blocking. Alicia was one of the most pathalogical liars I may EVER come across. Her lies, even the outrageous ones, came easy to her. Until I met her, I had never fathomed that a woman might lie about giving birth. Not losing a baby or anything tragic like that to elicit sympathy but going into great detal about having two children that she gave birth to. Jeez- a woman tells me she has two kids- okay! Even if she is a lesbian, I know these things happen and I sure know how and why. Now I think this girl might have had kids she didn't even know about....

One kid was her brothers. He was in jail, the baby mama had a crack problem and Alicia had custody. This I learned from folks who knew her better than I. The other was via her *wife* who, hadn't yet switched teams when she became pregnant. Well, why didn't she say so? An aunt stepping up to the plate for her brothers child is an admirable thing to do. A young gal getting pregnant and later discovering her true sexuality, is pretty common as well. I would have thought I had already proven myself to be a man who would not pass judgement. Why children come into this world is not as important as the simple fact that they are, here. The drama was not necessary.

Colbie was not that sort of liar. Alicia portrayed her though as hell on wheels. Get drunk in a bar and fight the biggest man. Whup his ass too. She too had a son from a marriage (I think) to a man who brutally beat her. How could she be both victim and aggressor? That was confirmed by others on the crew who knew her better than I. We rarely worked together. When we did, she was polite but quite shy around me. I was beginning to see the semi's driving through the gaping holes of Alicia's stories and I figured Colbie, being a lesbian was not very comfortable around straight men. How to relate? Well, we had the same tastes in women....

The rumor mill that runs every job everywhere belatedly told me that Colbie had had a crush on me. What's not to like about a Ferrerman- forget that part! We don't have all day here, even though we do.

I wasn't all that attracted to Colbie but, yeah, her instead of Alicia. In fact, when I began that last big job for that company and my boss gave me Alicia and a black guy, Marcus, and told me to fire them both, I asked for Colbie in exchange. I wasn't gonna fire Marcus- I liked the guy. I knew though that Alicia was nothing but trouble for me personally and at that time, I would have loved to see her gone. Story for another day but, my genius boss wanted me to fire BOTH of them, and be given NO ONE to replace them. We were busy at the time....

Following orders will usually get you killed if you know the boss is an idiot so, I took Alicia under my wings citing The Godfather adage about keeping one's friends close and one's enemies closer. I may have mentioned that wisdom before. IT NEVER FUCKING WORKS!! EVER!!! Don't try it at home or at work. There's a reason enemies are enemies.

Long story short, I got played by Alicia. You knew that quickly and I've long since known that. The thing is, I don't know *why* and the other thing is, it doesn't matter *why*. It doesn't matter if Colbie was crushing on me and it doesn't matter why Alicia cared and manuvered to stop it. Ours is not to make sense of the insensible. Colbie was not to be the love of my life. Likewise, I wasn't gonna be hers. It's better if two people can figure that out for themselves but, that isn't always up to us.

I hope Colbie finds a nice guy- or girl- someday. She's a sweetheart.

I wish I had fired Alicia.