Tuesday, October 30, 2012

'Tis the season!

I decorated my house and noticed that right after I did so, three neighbors across the street all decided to decorate too! This afternoon I walked around the neighborhood to see if others had gotten as caught up in the season as I and my neighbors had. The day is approaching and I was curious as to who else might have gotten off to a late start on decorating. And, yes, I wanted to see how scared I should be.

Not too scary. There were only a few Rmoney signs!

HA! I tricked you! You thought I was writing about Halloween! BOO!

Really, it's fairly telling. The three neighbors across the street did put their Rmoney signs out right after the Ferrerman 'Obama' sign went out in the front yard. So, I started it. They were probably going to vote for Rmoney anyway and weren't waiting to do the opposite of Ferrerman but, ya never know. But, other folks in the extended neighborhood don't know Ferrerman and probably didn't follow my lead, pro or con. In my travels today, I didn't see a lot of either candidate's signs. I think there were definitely a lot more in '08.

I don't see that as apathy. At least in this 'burb, I think people are confused. Politics will confuse the shit out of you if you don't know much about it. It'll confuse the shit out of you if you know too much as well. You can hear so much bad about Obama (or any candidate) and neither know or care if it's true. People are doing pretty well here and might be thinking this one is no big deal, at least not the big deal it was in '08 after eight years of the Bush carnage. There was "Hope and Change" promised by a wonderful young man from Chicago and, the reality is, he delivered. He delivered against seemingly insurmountable odds. A lesser man would have picked a ball o' fluff from Alaska and phoned in his candidacy. An even lesser man is currently trying to get elected telling lies and promising to undo absofuckinglutely everything Obama has done.

I can see how more mainstream republicans might not be terribly excited about their candidate this time around. Never minding what I think about him, it doesn't seem that they like him. If these people were afraid of the black man four years ago, they're not afraid of him now. He's worked out pretty good.  Nor are they excited by the billionaire who endeavours to inexplicably shake the Etch A Sketch clean by wiping out the last four years and starting over. You seriously have to ask yourself, "Why?"

It's only "job-killing Obamacare" if you're a republican congressman or an idiot troll who posts on Topix. Thirty million more people cannot be denied healthcare now. It's a big fucking deal, to borrow a phrase. Same with ending the war in Iraq if you're in either of those camps. If you think that Obama thinks he personally killed Bin Laden and then spiked the ball and did a political dance about it- like those black guys do in football...then you're in those camps. One MILLION jobs were saved with his bailout of GM and Chrysler. That was one million jobs and the blood, sweat and tears LIVES that go along with them, at the height of the depth of the worst recession since The Great Depression. Another big, fucking deal. There were more. You get the idea.

Obviously, people on Topix don't. Mittens sounds like he wants to be president of them although, in reality, he wouldn't walk across the street to give them a haircut or try and recruit them to his church. He's only courting their vote because- gosh darnit- they're allowed to vote. He doesn't care about them. They are not in his percentage whether they are the 47% or the 53%. They are not the one percent. Neither are my neighbors, immediate or extended, no matter how well they are doing. If you're part of the Dow crowd, you must notice that it's going great despite the Muslim communist leading the country with his fascist/socialist healthcare and his being OK with gay folks dying for their country. So, why change horses in mid-stream?

I don't think this election is as close as the polls and pundits say it is. Sure, the idiots in Washington and the idiots on Topix hate Obama and have every reason under the sun to want him gone. But, they were like that before he got elected so, I sense a pattern. Polls mean nothing but what pollsters want them to mean. It's old school politics to keep your candidate in the game, by keeping your voters interested. In this case, believing  it's close will also inspire Obama fans to vote. I believe they will. There may be apathy in the suburban front yards this time around but, I think people will turn out to vote and make the right choice. It's still a big fucking deal.

Oh- there seemed to be more Halloween displays than in previous years. That might mean something too.

And my Obama sign? The one that inspired the neighbors to get politically active? It blew away!

Or some rat bastard republican stole it....

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Irony- Thy Name Is Rmoney!

As dedicated non-readers, you all know I absolutely love irony. And, I like politics. So, it follows that I would just love the irony of politics!

I do. It seems that everything our opposition in this country has slammed our president for, they could slam their own candidate for. Neat, eh?

Mitt Rmoney's dad was born in Mexico, a country largely considered by those outside of Mexico to be a foreign country. Though Mitten's is clearly White, his daddy was Mexican born. Republicans can dismiss this based on his obvious whiteness and note that the only reason George Romney was born in Mexico was because his father was forced to abandon America so he could have several wives- a practice which was FROWNED UPON in this establishment known as America, at the time. Still is.

But, IRONY ALERT! they still make a big deal about Obama's father having been Kenyan.

Obama is also a suspected Muslim. Still. And we wouldn't want someone with a weird religion running the country, would we?

Willard Mittens Rmoney is a Mormon. Though he rarely talks in appearances about this, he is a confessed Mormon!

The irony here is that mainstream Christian religions consider the Mormons to be a "cult". This means they don't like Mormons. It's not the Crips v. Bloods kinda thing but, they do consider Mormons to be a rival gang to be watched very closely. I cannot fathom that the same folks who make up the base of the GOP would want a guy who was a Bishop in this cult to lead them in Washington. Among their millions of faithful they couldn't find ONE guy who was Baptist (and born in this country) to run for POTUS??? They had a chance with Santorum...but, he turned out to be a Catholic.

Never minding religion, in 2008 a huge deal was made about Barack Obama never having served in the military like his opponent, John McCain, had. Obama had never successfully crashed planes or been captured by the enemy, the republican qualifications for POTUS, at the time.

IRONY ALERT! Rmoney spent two years of prime Vietnam service time serving as a missionary for his church. The rest of his time he had college deferments.

FULL DISCLOSURE: Barack Obama used grade school deferments to avoid the draft for Vietnam. So did I.

Somehow, the war-hawkish GOP overlooks this, this time around yet manages to point out that Obama never served! Younger than Mittens, this puts him in a six way tie with Rmoney's five sons who, not being eligible for a draft (there isn't one) did not feel the need to evade or serve. They did however complete missions for their church- something Barack H. Obama never did! So, suddenly, one man's lack of service is not important but, the other man's is. That's some irony that I shall not even bother to put in bold print. It's just fucking stupid.

And finally, at least for this purpose, there is the irony that Rmoney is considered to be a "businessman" while  Obama is not.

Well, their is no Rmoney Incorporated that one can drive by and say: "He built that!" You can't talk about your uncle or neighbor that works at Rmoney Inc. making...things...that you'll find in nearly every American household. Rmoney's Mexican dad made cars but, his son made money out of other people's misery and used other people's money to do it. The only jobs he created were overseas where, coincidentally, he also keeps his millions of dollars. His old 'company'- Bain Capital, outsourced jobs. They were and still are very good at it. (See: Sensata, in Freeport Il. But, hurry! They're having a 'Going-out-of-the-country sale, ironically, the day before the election.)

So, lots of irony here! More than I can detail. It's quite possible the irony will be on us, November 7th.

Now, that's some fucking irony, eh? Well, I did try to alert you all.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Imagine hairy voters

Imaginary people of the republican persuasion on the internet are quick to point out that Barack Obama did NOT physically kill Osama Bin Laden. Oh. Well, OK, no one of the democratic persuasion has actually claimed that he had. It would seem kinda stupid to say that he had. Yet they say this, a lot.

Well, people are kinda stupid. You may have noticed this. Imaginary people on the internet come from the same stupid portion of the population where Indiana or Missouri congressmen come from, who have stupid ideas about rape and the birthing of babies under absolutely any circumstances. They poop in their pants, stumble over thoughts and their own feet just like non-internet idiots do.

And evidently, they vote!


Anybody who is 'undecided' at this point in the election is an idiot. Their opinion should not matter. But, it does.

It's storming! There's shelter over there. Do I go to the shelter or wait to see if the lightning gets me? Someone could come along with an umbrella. They might have sandwiches too. What if the sandwiches are soggy? Is there any place to sit inside or will I have to stand? What if there's a hole in the roof? I might get wet anyway...

Fucking-stupid-idiots! Sheesh- at least with reichtards you can see and hear their idiotic, hateful racism and- goddamn their asshole selves- at least they have a motherfucking opinion! Amazing but, that counts for something.

Maybe the undecideds are just undecided in hopes of getting on CNN and maybe getting discovered by a producer and becoming a movie star?

I saw you on CNN. You are just what I'm looking for! I need someone to play a beating victim in my next film. For realism, we're going to use actual baseball bats and actually kill you. Would you be OK with that?

Um, will the bats be aluminum or wood? I'm concerned about the environment...

The cable news folks keep saying that this election will be decided by undecided voters. One poll said that the typical undecided voter was a female, 18-29, with a low-income job and very little interest in politics. Yeah, sure. Let's let our nation's highest office be decided by Muffy . However the knuckleheads they parade after the debates do not reflect that demographic. They tend to look like your neighbors. Well, you know how stupid they are...

Undecideds should probably not be confused with independents. Those people are like bisexuals. They may be thinking : "Dick? Or pussy?" all the time but they will make up their minds. Undecideds eventually might too. They just won't know why. It won't be based on any deep thought or personal conviction. Maybe a coin toss?

Oh shit! Heads...or tails...what it it lands on it's edge....

And independents tend to simply be non-committal types  who like people to think they are free of party lines and maybe bolder and smarter than everyone else. Maybe one or five are. The others, just may like dick AND pussy. Good for them, I guess. They double their chances for weekend fun

Sigh. Every election is like this so, it's nothing new. That same guy in front of you at McDonald's trying to figure out the Dollar Menu will wind up in a voting booth, the first Tuesday in November, and ponder that at the last moment too. Like it's so fucking hard...

I can't wait until it's over. Some people are just getting started...

Monday, October 22, 2012

Give me some good news, baby!

I like to crush on news chicks. The local news stations, MSNBC, CNN and even Fox knows this and they parade a constant supply of women to tempt and, perhaps, taunt Ferrerman. I've always been this way. When on the road, I surf the channels in the new town to check out the 'farm system for the majors'.

I'm bi-partisan in my news chick choices. I shouldn't have to be but, such is cable news these days. A newswoman is not just judged for her journalism skills and her spankability but, her political leanings as well. See Megyn Kelly and S E Cupp. They are both unabashed republicans. MSNBC has several women every bit as beautiful as those two.

The MSNBC women are more attractive to me though because, beyond their obvious good looks, I admire their intelligence and political views. To be blunt: after Ferrerman would rock their world in the bedroom (or perhaps over there on the couch?) I could discuss, say, the homeless dilemma with Krystal Ball or Erin McPike and they would offer smart, viable solutions. S E or Megyn might just say: "Fuck 'em. Make me a sammich. Bitch". Talk about blunt!

Sarah Elizabeth Cupp has very obvious redheaded spectuality that I find quite appealing but, like Megyn, I don't find her views attractive. We'd fight a lot. That kinda conflict makes good fodder on situation comedies but it tends to make divorce lawyers busy in real life. Neither is necessarily insane like Sean Hannity insane but, unless they're just democrat actresses filling a niche on their respective networks, it's doubtful there is an 'us'in our future. That's pretty much all that keeps us from happening. That's all I can think of, at least.

Now, closer to home and- admittedly- reality, I would scratch a woman off my dance card of life if I knew we were polar opposites politically. That doesn't mean I'd hate her or refuse to know her but, no commitment. You have to be on the same page and being in the same book helps a lot too. I guess some people can do it. You hear about happy couples who are of different religions. Their secret, aside from tolerance and respect, might be that they never- EVER- discuss religion. I'n not religious but respect another's right to be so as long as they don't try to kill me or make their religion the national religion of my country. And maybe democrats and republicans can lie down together but, I bet they don't talk much either. They probably grunt a lot. Ugh.

OK. I'm in no danger of romancing any news pundits regardless of their spankability or their views. You're probably not either so, it's a tie. But, ya know,  as I watch Anna Marie Cox on MSNBC, i'm thinking that she probably talks to smart, funny men all day long. Maybe a smart, funny Ferrerman would be the last thing she needs after a hard day of punditing. She probably would rather relax with a good book and a better glass of wine. I guess I'll never know..but, I don't blame her. .

You didn't build that!

Barack H, Obama did not personally shoot Osama Bin Laden. He merely gave the order, something anyone could do.

Well, anybody but George Bush, I guess, but, I digress...

I saw an interesting internet meme today, on the internet actually...which- BTW- Al Gore did NOT build. It noted that the great Generals of our history, from George Washington to Eisenhower, did not actually single-handedly win any battles or wars they were involved in. They just gave the orders. History gives these men the credit and blame and lauds them as heroes  even though thousands of other men do the actual fighting and killing and dying. That's the way that works. We accept that.

Henry Ford didn't actually build the Model T's. In fact, if you were broke down on the side of the road whether in a Model T or a brand new Ford, it probably wouldn't be much good to have the late, great Henry or his great-grandson who heads the company now, with you. They didn't actually build the cars, you see. They could, at best, give you a 'great deal' on a new one though even though they don't literally sell the cars either. What the heck do they do?!

It's pretty neat though that Henry Ford got the financing together and created the assembly line process to crank out automobiles for the masses at a competitive price. It's doubly neat that he paid the line workers enough so that they could afford to buy the cars they made! The guy must have been a communist or something... So, maybe he didn't have mad mechanical skills (and, maybe he did- I don't actually know) but, it's safe to say he made all those cars happen. That's what Henry did and, to a lesser extent, that's what his progeny does. It's pretty neat, just the same. I can't say that my great-grandfather could or could not have done that. I can only report that he did not.

So, if any teapublican asshole feels the need to severely downplay Obama's roll in the killing of Osama Bin Laden, they better be ready and willing to downplay any aspirations for Willard Mittens Rmoney to actually go over to Iran and kick their asses, 'cause that's not gonna happen. Not even with tough guy Tagg on his wing. Iran is not some allegedly gay kid who Rmoney feels needs a haircut.

And they better accept the fact that, though Rmoney did not physically load the cargo ships with American people's hopes and dreams while he was at Bain, and personally steer the boat to China, he built the fucking company that made that happen. Yeah, he 'built' that. He made that happen. And he made fucking hundreds of millions of dollars doing it.

Why is he admired for that...success? Couldn't any asshole do that? Mafia guys do that. See "Goodfellas".

Mittens got off to a pretty good start in life. Daddy had some money. So, prep school and Harvard pretty naturally led to a career in business. His dad had a car company and, though he didn't literally build the cars himself, he made lots of money giving the orders. I think I might have liked his dad. He employed people. You could actually drive one of his products and know that, in buying one of his cars, you made the lives of hundreds (thousands?) of people better, through your purchase.

There is no brick and mortar business with this Rmoney. There is no building you can drive past and say: "That's Rmoney & Sons! My uncle works there making widgets! Great job! Great product! But two!"

Rmoney makes money with money. He doesn't even actually print the money he makes. It just seems that way...

That is my beef with Rmoney. He didn't literally build a fucking thing in life. He built a personal fortune but, he built it at the very personal expense of others who actually made a living making things. He's not a job creator. He's a job destroyer. Creating jobs, he makes a living. Destroying jobs, he makes a fortune!

I joke that, as president, Rmoney will sell off lesser-performing states like Mississippi and Arkansas after first gutting them of their resources and bankrupting them. I kid but, he'll probably do just that. He does believe that the Federal government shouldn't own land like Yosemite and few thousand other parks and that land should be sold to private enterprise whom may profit from them. I guess our public lands, which were largely the idea of republican Teddy Roosevelt (though he didn't literally plant the trees...) are communist. Well, we can't have THAT! If you've ever been to Yosemite and and never shook your head at the complete lack of oil rigs and/or million dollar homes, then you deserve to be poor! You have no vision!

Vision is all Rmoney has. But, it's a tunnel vision of profit for his friends and family only though. That's it. That's what he does. Worse, that's what he will do.

We can't let him do that. We the people built this country. We the people shouldn't let him destroy it.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012


I rather doubt that a presidential candidate who was a bishop of a church that does not allow women in it's Temples actually cares about women in general or even women in particular. Add to that the history of polygamy and you can see why he might object to any or all women's issues.

Willard Rmoney's "binders of women" comment at last night's debate was- of course- taken out of context. Context has long been a problem in politics and always will be. There's no getting away from or around that.  If it's true that, as governor, he noticed that there were no women contending for any positions in his regime as governor, it's kind of extremely interesting that Mitt opted for an affirmative action approach to the matter. See, Mitt and the republicans do not like Affirmative Action. I think he was trying to show 'political correctness, then and now. (That's something they hate too!)

I doubt Mitt the Mormon is in favor of women working at all. They should be home, churning butter- all of your wives! Like other Christian conservatives who probably share the same sentiments, I bet these guys didn't much care for the women's liberation movement which began in the 60's. I bet they hated that!

But, do you know who liked the women's lib movement?

Business. Once they figured out that more women could be employed at about half the cost of men, they realized there was big bucks in them thar wimmins!

Mind you, there always was. Women have long been in the workforce and always been underpaid. The deal used to be that a man was paid more because, well, he's a man and, he usually had a family to support. But, I think, in the 70's they realized the opportunity to employ more women and slash payroll while doing it. It was the same with Affirmative Action and, I believe, tied into that, as well. They learned they could slash payroll and use Affirmative Action  to hire less-expensive (and less threatening?) black women, rather than black men. It's business. That's how it works. It's more about the bottom line than it is about adapting to social change.

This is why there was republican outrage towards the Lily Ledbetter Act. How can you object to equal pay for women unless you object to BIG GOVERNMENT forcing business to do it? You sound like a real misogynist asshole if you say: "Fuck them bitches!". So, you go with the ol' "Big Government Is Bad" approach that made the Tea Parties what they are today- a bunch of aimless, anarchist twerps who didn't consider the denotations of their choice of titles for their club.

Today there are more women in the workforce than ever. I cannot (except for combat troops) think of any job that women don't do. Well, OK, president but, that could change in '16. I promise you that I would have voted for Hillary Clinton in '08 and was truly on the fence between her and Obama. And I'm never minding pro sports here for obvious size reasons though I could see a woman kicker in the NFL or maybe a second baseman in the majors. Anyway, there is no good reason for paying a woman less to do the same work as a man. All men do not get paid the same, just because they are men. You come up through the ranks. Skills vary. You are supposed to earn your way. These days, it's quite common for a woman to be the head of household, to be working and raising children. Some men, too. Obama spoke of his mother who had to train men who would advance beyond her at the bank where she worked. She had gone as far as a woman could go at the time. Would you be OK training your next boss? Does that even make sense?

I think business, which shows us each day that they only care about profit, is telling us we are ALL overpaid and expendable. I believe that such is the reason for jobs going overseas where people regardless of gender are willing to work for whatever they are offered, no questions asked. We are all in this together, folks. It is truly US against THEM. 

Tuesday, October 16, 2012


I'm not the numbers guy that Paul Ryan claims to be. Well, Paul Ryan isn't even the numbers guy he claims to be if you remember he misremembered his marathon time by about an hour or so (in his favor...) and that that equals....a whole bunch of minutes, if you want to get technical about it. They want him to get technical about numbers- even FOX does- but, he doesn't want to worry our pretty, little heads with numbers just yet.  We'll just have to elect him and Willard Rmoney to find out how those numbers crunch.

You know something? Electing president's isn't "Let's Make A Deal!". For one thing, there are really only two doors. There's the republican door and the democrat door. Libertarians and the occasional Ralph Nader are merely windows or, at best, garage doors that no one really cares to open because we know there's just a lot of junk in the garage. Might be some good stuff but, you'd have to sort through a lot of junk to get to it. Why bother? We like to wish there was a third door available but, the two parties are against that since they've kinda got a monopoly going. Truth be told, the two doors tend to lead to the same place anyway. It's as if there's only one party...

The republicans just might be trying to change that. They've certainly gone off the reservation lately! For the first time in a long time I can actually tell the difference between the two. Frankly, I'm kinda scared. They've always been a contrary bunch but, since '08 and certainly since '10, they've gotten seriously crazy. They sound exactly like the idiot 'tards I smack around on the threads.

Willard Rmoney actually complains that 47% of Americans don't pay taxes. Give or take a few points, this is probably true. OK. we agree on that. I'm going to go out on a limb though and say that, the reason for this non-payment of income taxes is that they don't fucking make enough money to qualify to have to PAY income taxes! This is because they are poor.

One of the most obscene things Mitten's said in a speech was that he was *proud* of us because, though we had lost jobs that paid $22.50 an hour, we endeavoured  to survive by getting TWO jobs that paid $9 an hour. For those keeping score at home, that adds up to $18 but, not per the hour because you're not doing Paul Ryan math here. Nope, you're working eight hours more per day and still making less. I gathered that Mittens was proud of us because, we can take a lickin' and keep on tickin' like he's sure heard about cheap watches. I was surprised the media didn't pick upon this. To be fair though, Rmoney lies so much and modifies his positions so much that it takes 24 hour cable news outlets 24 hours a day to keep up with his nonsense. They might have had to hire extra help....

The thing is, Rmoney, and those of his kind, made those $22,50 an hour jobs go away because payroll and good-paying jobs cut into profits!!!! Rich people fucking hate that. I promise you that their bottom line is their bottom line and they seriously do not care how they get there as long as it is as cheaply as possible. Prior to the American Civil War, there was more money in Vicksburg, Mississippi than there was in New York City. Guess why? The low-overhead of slavery. After the initial expense of buying a human being, all you had to do was feed them and beat them. We fought a long, bloody war that was not at all about slavery! It was about "state's rights" or, more to the point, whether states had the right to have slaves. So, you see, it wasn't about slavery AT ALL!

We still have slavery in the world today though it's not called slavery anymore. It's called: Chinese Labor. It differs from slavery in that the workers aren't bought at auction and, in fact, are actually paid, so, it's not slavery. The people want to work. To hear Willard Rmoney tell it, they want to work so badly that fences and guard towers are in place to keep people from coming in and working in the hopes of getting hired on and paid! Yep, this cocksucker went to Harvard and he knows human nature. People want to work. They just don't want to be paid too much for it....

Well, I'm no Harvard grad. I think it's got more to do with hunger than a desire to stay busy.

Currently, in Freeport, Illinois, Rmoney's old business, Bain Capital, is moving 170 jobs from the Sensata  company there to China. You probably heard about that. If not, google it. The bottom line is, workers in China will be making 99 cents to $1.37 per hour, far less than the men and women of Freeport are willing to work for. And Bain and those fellows have a duty to show a profit to their shareholders. (Ferrerman note: I think shareholders are the citizens of the new millennium. Unlike us, they have a vested interest in this country.) The Freeport Sensata workers have had to suffer the indignity of training their Chinese replacements. This is the equivalent of having to dig your own grave before the Mafia kills you. I don't know why people do that. I guess we're used to last-minute heroics? As long as there is a breath in your lungs, you might have a chance...

Well, 170 jobs. Is that a big deal? After all, this has been going on for 30 some years. Surely those Freeport folks can replace those jobs with a couple of $9 an hour jobs, right? Bain Capital has to answer to shareholders, after all. If they are not making the most profit possible, then they are not doing there job for those shareholders. They might as well be communists. Better to deal with communists than be one.

Of course, those communists do have a way with non-shareholders. Our glorious corporate masters can learn a thing or two from them. Well, they are. We can have full employment here, in our not-too-distant future. It just won't pay very well. You see, it can't. Payroll cuts into profit and profit is the bottom line. Without profit, there is no trickle down. It's like "our" oil. The oil companies can sell "our" oil for far more profit, far more satisfying shareholders in foreign countries with burgeoning economies. IRONY ALERT: one of those burgeoning countries is... CHINA! There's more than a billion of them folks and, more and more are becoming shareholders. And they are not burdened by a Constitution or founding fathers or an EPA.

It's a brave, new world order, isn't it?

Saturday, October 13, 2012

A Cup of JOE!

Last night, Laurence O'Donnell had a nice piece to end his show about debates. He's a former writer for the old political show, "The West Wing" and he showed a clip from that series about a presidential debate where, feeling shackled by the rules of the debate, both candidates agreed to throw aside the rules and just wing it. Sounds good to me! Though I was never a viewer, I should have been.

Two minute statements and thirty second rebuttals just don't get it. Worse, he pointed out, the format encourages both participants to be good memorizers rather than actual debaters. And the "no notes" rule certainly hinders that as well. Evidently, the candidates are not given previous knowledge of the questions to be asked either. Laurence pointed out that, no president has to on-the-spot create policy all by himself so, why ask him or his opponent to do that in front of a live audience and millions of citizens? In other words, why all the surprise?

The format of the VP debate pleased me as it was a bit more like the above. Two guys sitting around interrupting each other is just like real life. There has to be a moderator and I think Martha Raddatz did an excellent job and not just because Jim Lehrer had not. She pretty much let them go without the anal "me-me-ME!- that Romney had insisted on in his first go 'round with Obama.

Of course, I fucking loved Joe Biden's mugging and laughing and his full range of emotions while Paul Ryan spewed lie after lie. It was the smackdown we wished Obama had given Romney and- better- it was the smackdown republicans think Romney gave Obama. It was fun to watch!

I'd like to see more debates like it. We don't want a Memorizer In Chief whether he's an us or a them. I think the debate formats are the way they are because that's what the parties agree to because that's the way they've always been. And one will be a Town Hall format so, there's that. Some pizza guy (not Herman Cain, is promising free pizza for life to any citizen who wastes the nation's time by asking if the candidates prefer sausage or pepperoni. Maybe the pizza for life is a threat. I don't know. Whatever, it's not the sort of free-form debate O'Donnell or Ferrerman is advocating.

I would like to see limited audience participation with questions of the non-pizza variety. I'd like to hear the people laughing at any zingers even if they're planned and, especially if they are truly off the cuff. And, groaning at lies and deflections from the R's is our right as citizens. So much of our political process is a dog and pony show. Let's let these guys go at it. Make them defend lies or policies to be explained later.  Make them answer to us... It is about us, isn't it?

No decaf, please.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

The Play-offs

As a life-long Chicago Cub fan, I know that losing can be very relaxing. One can enjoy the play-offs and World Series without any serious angst. You can pick a favorite and be kinda happy if they win and sorta sad if they lose. There's no real pressure, just good baseball.

Now, presidential elections, on the other hand...

It's crossed my mind to just say: "Fuck it!" Let these assholes have their fucking Rmoney and eat it too!" Let US be the divisive assholes who complain about everything he does! Let us hang on his every other word like they do with Obama. It'll be fun- and different- because Willard Mittens Rmoney is a stiff-walking, stiff-talking idiot so, it will be true and honest instead of Junior League Al Queda  stuff that we see from them now.

But, alas, if I were them- if we were them- we'd already be assholes. Being an asshole is nothing to aspire to anyway. It may seem like fun at first but, as a lifetime commitment, it's not a good career goal. Imagine your poor behavior in a public setting while drinking a bit too much. Now imagine that behavior being you for the rest of your life. Yikes! Hopefully, that makes you re-think your commitment to any teaparty aspirations or teabangelical-like behavior.

Still, proving these idiots wrong and saying, "I told you so..." could be fun. However, a Rmoney victory would bring four more years of blaming Barack Obama for all of America's ills. Note I said 'four MORE years'. They started blaming Obama for EVERYTHING on election day in '08. This time around they'd give no grace period either. They would disavow any notion of "Obama Derangement Syndrome" citing "Bush Derangement Syndrome" which was invoked also the moment Obama was elected and supposedly somehow inherited not only the worst recession since The Great Depression but, all responsibility FOR it. How the fuck does that happen?

But, I digress. Or do I? I know these people. I see them on TV and read them on the threads and other venues on the internet. They are not going to stop being crazy just because *they* won. Was Hitler satisfied with a fake war with Poland? Cheney with Weapons of Mass Distraction? Nope.

These people would be empowered by a Rmoney presidency, seeing it as a mandate from the people to run screaming ahead with every little thing he may have promised them and some that they might have imagined while masturbating.

I understand billionaires wanting to hire a millionaire to impose their will. I don't understand the not-so rich doing this, however. The pecking order is all askew here. You making $50k a year is maybe a day in the life of a Mitt Rmoney who is retired and living off of stock dividends like when he and Ann were first married and "struggling"... He's actually done better since then. You might too, IF you win Mega Millions.

But, you won't do better under Mittens. You may not be the 47% that he doesn't care about but, you likely fall into the net of the 98% he doesn't care about either. He's got you covered. You just may not know it. These folks don't. They said all along: "ANYBODY but Obama..." and, indeed, Rmoney is "anybody". He's just not an anybody that cares about all Americans.

In a straight up, honest vote, Rmoney DOES NOT win this election. Voter suppression hasn't worked out like they planned but, it might have been a diversion from the fact that, the electronic voting machines used in many states are owned and operated by white men who have contributed HEAVILY to the Rmoney campaign. So, yes, via cheating, he could *prevail*...

It's a frightening thought. A good man does not do this. Not in the wonderful America we all imagine that we live in. Look at the last several elections. There was electoral shenanigans when Bush *beat* Kerry. It took a USSC decision to put him in office in 2000. Going back to daddy Bush is maybe the last time a republican was popularly elected. They're not on a winning streak even when we seem to be taking turns. What does this tell you?

It tells me they might be going all in for their very survival as a party. They act as if it's for the very survival of the country though. Can you imagine suppressing voting (of one party) as a viable practice in the greatest country in the world?!

I can. It's only been in my lifetime that Black Americans have been guaranteed the right to vote. It took an act of Congress to force half the country to allow them to vote. That is obscene. We have a history of this... It isn't pretty. We have as much nationalistic pride as the next nation and we overlook our faults far better than most, to that end. Are their any full-blooded Native Americans in your neighborhood? There's a reason for that and it's very, very ugly.

Sigh. It's possible that a Rmoney presidency could be comical, fun and business as usual. I doubt it. In the poker game of life, the republicans and their fans are tipping their hand. Yeah they've got nothing but, if a pair of threes can beat a full house of freedom, we're fucked. It could happen...

They've shown their intention to go all in. If Rmoney were to *win*, this might be the last election we have. A few new justices on the Supreme Court could take care of that. Imagine that plus Rmoney AND a republican House and Senate. What wouldn't they do? What couldn't they do?

Ask any asshole what they would do. They'll tell you. Right now they have that First Amendment right to do so. Right now, that is...

Monday, October 8, 2012

Deer family...


A buddy of mine sent me the link. I guess Timmy thought I'd be impressed with the shooting as, on the surface, four hits in nine seconds of moving targets is impressive. The guy's a pretty good shot.

What is it about ambushing animals that excites him so? Really, that's what it was. A buddy radios him that the Bambi family is coming towards him and he wipes them out. Well, that's hunting!

I've never been hunting but, have had dozens of friends who are fairly regular hunters, to varying degrees of success. Timmy, for example, grew up hunting with his dad in upstate New York. When we both lived in the mid-south, he was shut out on a few hunting trips but he had killed a deer or two when he was a kid in NY. I've got a brother-in-law who has gotten deer, I guess, and I know he has gone after Big Horn sheep and the like out west. Deer maybe but, why the fuck would anybody want to shoot sheep? I guess the horns make for a nice trophy?

True enough, our ancestors relied on hunting to actually, literally, put food on the table. That's just the way things were before the Piggly Wiggly. Probably most hunters today actually do eat what they kill but, except for those oddballs who purposely live in Alaska in the winter, they don't do this for lack of a Piggly Wiggly nearby. I pretty much understand the thinning of the herd aspect of hunting though some dispute the necessity of that. Evidently the humane thing to do is shoot some so that others may survive the bleak winter so they can be shot the next year. Sounds kinda republican to me. Woodsy death panels. I live in a suburban area that has many forest preserves that provide a natural habitat for deer and their food chain friends. People near those preserves may find deer dining in their yards or dashing in front of their SUV's. I recall six of them doing just that during the morning rush across six lanes of traffic, years ago. Yikes! You think our world changed in the last couple hundred years, what about theirs? Forget cougars and bears as enemies, now there are Ford's and Chevy's.

And guys with pump-action shotguns, sitting in tree-stands, waiting for them to scamper by. This isn't Hawkey and his Indian brothers running through the woods with flintlocks to get dinner. It's a multi-billion dollar business you dress in camouflage for. Deer, and I think all animals, are colorblind, by the way. Why on earth would you want to disguise yourself as the woods when there are other fellas with guns looking to kill things in the woods?! The deer don't notice bright orange but maybe Buck, who has probably been nipping at a flask, will and not shoot at your LL Bean designed subterfuge. Hunting accidents happen. How one dresses surely contributes to that. Errant shots happen, as well.

The guy in the video might not exactly be legal. As I understand, along with kill limits, there are gender specific limits as well. Killing bucks and does on the same day is frowned up. Killing four might be over the limit as well. I'm guessing that after orgasm and a cigarette, the shooter and his buddy got their story straight about who shot whom. "Damn big gubmint..."

Obviously, hunting never appealed to me. I like guns and shooting but, stationery paper targets or beer bottles appeal more to me than living creatures. I know that in a Romney presidency we'll all have to kill and dress our own food as, on Day Two, he intends to turn the reigns over to Paul Ryan and the Tea Party. Mitt's only there for Day One, to repeal Obamacare. His thing is delegating and collecting the cash while underlings pillage. It's going to be a brave new world of individualism, just like the founders intended...

But, I digress. Or do I? In this "us against them" world that current republicans exist in, not hunting (or being snarkastic about it) is the same as being agin it. It, of course, is not but, try telling them that. I suppose my BIL is respectful about hunting. (I wonder if they drank the blood of the deer of their first kill? That's gross and might be why I don' hunt. Of course, with a gun in my hand, I doubt anyone could make me drink the blood. I'd be very disrespectful of tradition, I think) Timmy might be too. They might both be sporting about it. I just don't see lying in wait to ambush a critter as sporting. The fella in the video could have stopped at one or two depending upon the limit. But, how orgasmic ally cool would that be? No doubt he's got a high-dollar fourwheeler to haul out the bodies and a big-ass Chevy to take them from there. Sporting, eh? Well, have you seen the price of meat at the Piggly Wiggly?! A fella has to make ends... meat...these days, right? Evidently, at all costs.

Friday, October 5, 2012


No zingers. Huh.

Rmoney tricked me, I guess. Instead he went with a debate move which, I learned this morning, is called the "gish gallop". 

Essentially, you throw out so many lies and half-truths at your debate opponent that he's so over-whelmed at your lies that he doesn't know whether to poop or go blind as he tries to figure out which lie to address first.

Every pundit this side of the GOP Headquarters at Foxnews knows Mitt Romney lied his ass off at the Debacle In Denver. As strategeries go, the gish gallop is lame and frowned upon whether it's at presidential debates or the highschool level. You won't win if you resort to it. The judges see right through it. It remains to be seen if it will help Romney or not but, I doubt it. He blew his wad on the first debate and Obama has cameras all around to artfully refute his opponents bullshit until the next debate. Lies are still lies at the end of the day and, when you wake up in the morning.

Like most of my kind, I was disappointed in our president that night. I made the expected analogies with sports metaphors about the Chicago Cubs and how close they have come in my lifetime to winning it all. Never minding the '69 team that broke my young heart and molded my future as a man, it reminded me of the '84 bunch that spanked the daylights out of the San Diego Padres, going up two-oh in the play-offs...only to drop the next three on the road. I mean-sheesh- the fucking Padres? They had them...

Well, I got over '84 and '89 (and a couple others...) because, you just have to wake up the next day and realize that your happiness cannot reasonably be left in the hands of 25 men whom you don't know and whom probably won't even look at you if you were to hand them a ball and ask for their signature. It's tough enough to be in love with one person and rely on them for emotional fulfillment. Either case, you deal with it.

But, we're talking about the happiness in the here and now of more than 300 million people. Their future happiness as well. This is beyond baseball, folks. The play-offs start today and I'll watch out of the love I have for the game itself. The game is bigger than a team. The political game may be bigger than one man but, it comes down to one man the way our system *works*.

It's a big fucking deal, as Joe Biden would say. It really is. Bulldazzler Romney may think he can lie his way into the White House but we the people have to stop that. We know who and what he represents and it ain't us. The guy told Jim Lehrer, the debate moderator, that- though he liked him and Big Bird- he was going to fire both (as president) because he doesn't want to borrow money from China to keep them employed! What the fuck kind of idiocy is that? Who thinks like that and expects a nation to follow suit in that logic?

Mitt Romney, that's who. George Bush fought two wars on money borrowed from China and we have the debt to show for it. This asshole wants to fight Iran AND cut everyone's taxes by 20%! Um, to pay for it? The reich keeps saying we need a businessman in the White House and that is on this asshole's resume but, this is not how your uncle runs his hotdog stand, now is it? It's how Romney ran things at Bain though. Who made millions and how many tens of thousands of people lost jobs and pensions?

Romney does not care about "us". We the people are pawns to be sacrificed as cheaply as possible. The presidency is something he feels entitled to. He'll say and do anything to gain this position. He's not done making money either. I joke that he'd put oil wells on the White House lawn but, you'd see them Yosemite- if the new owner would let you in- if this guy wins. Yep. And the reichwing supporters would support that because they are stupid enough to believe that such efforts would lead to cheaper gas....

We get the government that we deserve, folks. Let's not get the government that asshole republicans deserve.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

The Jerk Store is open

The word is that Mitt Romney has been practicing zingers to combat Barack Obama at tonight's first debate. Given that the debate is about domestic issues- the economy, healthcare, etc.- Romney might want to stick to one story about those assorted issues and actually tell the American people what he intends to do rather than do his stand up set.

You don't plan zingers. Comedy, to me, is about location and timing. When you tell jokes, you provide the set-up to the punchline. With zingers, your opponent is supposed to provide the set-up and he or she does this unknowingly. You have to work off of what they say and, if they don't say it, you wind up being like George Costanza and later coming up with what you think is a zinger. With that sort of ill-fated timing, it is you that winds up at the Jerk Store, sitting on the shelf. In the best laid plans of mice and Mormon, you've got to be quick on your feet with zingers. Cute catch phrases or zings don't work if you're just getting them in there, regardless of timing. Romney should know this because the late, great, Ted Kennedy totally owned him years ago in the Massachusetts senatorial debates. Kennedy was the better man in policy as well as in wit.

Your Ferrerman is pretty quick on his feet. I'm often a hit on Facebook and I get trolled on Topix by so many losers because I've smacked the ironic shit out them a few times. I'm the reason that town's afeared of Ferrerman. I might have mentioned that a time or two. But, I can't give my greatest hits here because it's almost exclusively situational humor that would be an ordeal to outline and probably not all that funny, after all that as the context would be lost. You truly have to have been there. And, I don't write these things down. Maybe I should?

Mostly I feed off of what others say. Whether it's innocent or provocative, I'll find some irony in there and mine it. We're not talking meanness here. I really don't like to go there unless someone has already put them self in that neighborhood. I find myself holding my tongue in some social situations and biting my fingers on social networks. I try not to hurt feelings but, you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. The thing with the debates is, Romney, being the arrogant, out-of-touch rich asshole that he is,  should be the one getting zinged, not the zinger. It's the zinger, not the zong? I don't know...maybe I should work on that one...

When Romney ad-libs, he finds himself insulting people. Like the time at the rainy NASCAR race when he was speaking to some fans who, to keep themselves dry, fashioned ponchos out of garbage bags. He said something like: "You really sprang for the big bucks on those!"

Ouch. A guy with $250+ million dollars to his name snickers at working folks attire. Well, he didn't even have a Barnaby's raincoat on himself so, don't disrespect the working folks who thought ahead enough to stuff a hefty bag into their back pocket because might rain. They may not have been fashionable but they were dry and he was all wet. He went on to compound things by admitting he didn't follow NASCAR but, some of his friends owned teams. Great. More millionaires. Well, they are his base.

Our president, on the other hand, is the sort of man who, while Navy SEALS are en route to kill Osama Bin Laden, stays stone cold cool about those events while verbally spanking the day lights out of Donald Trump at the Washington Press Corps event. I forget the timing. Bin Laden might have been dead by that time. But, shit was going down or had gone down and he was cool. It wasn't the proper venue for historical zingers.

I wonder if former comedian, Dennis Miller, has prepped Romney with material. We'll know if Mittens  refers to our president as "Chachi" if he had a hand in there. Miller is the only republican I can think of who intentionally tries to be funny. The others just don't think on their feet when they speak. A smart guy would skip the comedy and debate the issues but, if that guy was in the republican primaries at all, he won't be representing the "R's" tonight. Well, they did say "anybody but Obama..." Romney is anybody. And he's an anybody who is about as prepared to be president of the United States as he is to be the featured performer at The Chuckle Junction.

"Don't forget to tip your waitress's and bartenders, ladies and germs. The standard 10% of course. 11% if they are properly civil in their service. Lousy 47 percenters... Oh, is this thing on?"