Wednesday, April 30, 2014

No fool like an old fool

I almost feel sorry for Donald Sterling. I said almost.

He's an old man. Eighty years old. He's most likely been a racist dickhead for most of those eighty years so, this is not a new development. It's not dementia or Alzheimer's. Life has caught him in racist acts before. He's paid fines in the past for refusing to rent to Blacks and Hispanics. He's also paid X-number of dollars to the NAACP to purchase "Lifetime Achievement" awards to mask his racist views. It's like the GOP with Herman Cain. You wanna call them racist? They can trot out Cain, Alan West and a third guy that I can't think of at the moment. Can you?

Anyway, the old man has always been this way. I've know old guys like this most of my life and you probably have as well. There isn't really a whole lot of irony in his owning a mostly Black team in a mostly Black league. Hell- he's not talking about killing Black people! He just doesn't believe he should have to rent homes to them. There might be some irony in him telling all this to his Black and Hispanic girlfriend though. Evidently he saw nothing wrong with himself sleeping with her and he was open-minded enough (in a sublime...sort of way) that he didn't mind her sleeping with her own kind. He just didn't want her bringing her Black friends to his LA Clipper games, or posing with them on Instagram.

There's no fool like an old fool. I guess the genesis of the tape was a shakedown by the girlfriend. Sterling has been married to the same woman for 57 years and I imagine she knows as much as she wants to know about his dalliances, and doesn't care. I don't think she's crying.

I don't know if you know this but, there are a lot of jerks with money! This country is lousy with them. In fact, I think life advertises for them as: "JERKS PAID EXTRA!!!" I would venture that the Koch brothers, Randolph and Mortimer, hate Black people and actually have a bet as to whether Barack Obama can operate the country. How much money? The usual... 

So, no surprise that a rich old white guy is a racist. No real surprise that he owns an NBA franchise. No real surprise that he had a Black lover.

He's been fined and banned for life...from attending the games of the team he owns. There's talk that the league may force him to sell. I think they can do that. A thorough check of the US Constitution by yours truly showed that the Second Amendment does NOT cover this so, no militia patriot actions are necessary.  Besides, the guy's a Jew.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Facts & Loose

Like any euphemistically-termed "reality show", "Fast And Loud" can be taken at face value for the hour it takes to watch it. Before and after that though, reality may vary.

Last night was the culmination of a two part episode where Richard Rawlins and his lead mechanic, Aaron Kaufman, found what they claimed were two original, prototype, 1967 Pontiac Firebirds. According to the show, these two were the cars that made the auto shows back in the day. They didn't really spend a lot of time proving that though. Over the years I've heard such cars were usually destroyed. Why? I can only guess that they're not street legal and not quite like their final version and the factory is not in the business of selling directly to the public. However, I've seen where they have found their way into private collections and museums. These cars are also touted as being numbers One and Two off the assembly line which evidently has been documented, easily enough, by the build specs on the frame. The first two off the line and found together in a barn is pretty neat.

However, it's not $325,000 neat like they said. The prices that Richard pays are a little sketchy, a little fanciful. Richard's a tough negotiator but he always seems to win. He *stole* these cars for $75,000 from some ex-NBA player I'd never heard  of and figures that in rough but original condition, he could sell them for the $325,000 figure. I think that those numbers were found in the barn too and need some work as well.

Back home in Texas, Richard figures to sell the cars as is to a builder who restores cars to original, concourse condition. That's the original, factory condition, in this case using genuine GM parts and specs. Original wheels, paint over-spray where it should be- just like it rolled off the line in '67. Perfect in it's non-perfection, I guess. It's harder than customizing a ride. If you cheat or cut corners, the experts will know.

So, the buyer cuts Richard a deal that only could happen on reality TV.  He gives Richard the $325k but also charges him with restoring both cars to concourse condition. For that he'll pay him another $300, long as Richard completes the cars- to his satisfaction- in 60 days. He'll be fined $10,000 for each day beyond sixty! Oh my!

Well, reality TV is all about false deadlines. That's the drama. We are probably one republican president away from The Hunger Games but, for now we've got false deadlines for dramatic effect. Usually these garage shows find out there's an auction in three days and- if they want to make money- they better find and build a '57 Chevy in three days.....  I'd get a calendar and a heads up on the auctions. I've never built or customized a car but, it takes longer than three days. It takes longer than a week. It always takes longer than you figured.

And doesn't it figure that if you want something perfect, you don't rush it? Do you want these cars in sixty days or do you want them perfect? If you want perfection, you don't rush it.

Evidently, save for an after market alternator and a non-original Hurst shifter-knob, both cars were perfect and, more importantly, delivered on time! No fine! Here's your extra $300,000 son! The buyer is off to sell the cars for a million dollars a piece (I suppose) because that's how that works.

Well, not exactly.... Hot Rod magazine looked into this and learned the two cars were not prototypes  but were the first two cars off the line in '67. Again, cool, but not that cool. They weren't special order, one of a kind. They were just one and two. Nor were they discovered in a barn.They were stored (in the condition shown on the show) and recently sold for $30,000 for the pair. Not the $75,000 that Richard bragged he stole them for, or for the $325k he claimed they were worth. Richard Rawlings is kind of a dick. He's very entertaining though. He's egotistical and loves to drink beer. He's a wheeler-dealer and probably as many people despise him as like him. He doesn't always win either. Sometimes his builds don't do well at auction and he winds up snorting tequila up his nose. That's not a metaphor. He's actually snorted shots of tequila. Twice. On purpose. Because some other guy dared him to.

In looking at the Fast & Loud Facebook site, there seems to be less gnashing of teeth about the Firebirds than about the firing of two featured mechanics, Tom and Jordan, on the same episode. People seemed to like them both a lot. Jordan struck me as kinda dour and Tom was goofy as all get out. Dangerously goofy, I thought. Tom also had a problem with getting to work on time and Richard had fired him at least twice previously. Well, make that three times now. Jordan seemed to merely be disgruntled at having to work under a newly hired boss. Now, that is reality. You keep showing up late, you get fired. Disobey the new boss and show attitude, you get fired. That's not really good TV (unless they scream and/or throw punches) but it is reality. And, it took time. None of this: "You've got three days to fire two guys- or everybody dies!"  Maybe next season....

Friday, April 18, 2014

Crooked Lines In The Sand

I'm just wondering, were they a well-regulated militia? Cause if not, the terrorist thugs out in Nevada are in violation of the Second Amendment. But wait- Cliven Bundy doesn't recognize the United States government so, what could the 2A mean to him?

Sheesh, what a mess out there. Bundy spends twenty years fighting a government he evidently couldn't pick out of a line up and, tired of losing in court, he puts out a call to the brave militia men of their state. Those fellas brought their wives and children. What did your family do on their Spring break?

It was an odd line to draw in the sand. Bundy doesn't believe he should pay the nominal fee for grazing his cattle on Federal land so, for years he has refused to pay. Thousands of other cattlemen do but, he don't. His argument has evolved over 20 years but often includes that it's public land so, why should he pay?

Well, because that's the deal. The land in question belongs to all of us in the "we the people" sense that Bundy doesn't recognize. That doesn't mean that we can all graze our cattle over there. That would be crowded and silly. There's got to be a little order about these things. Permission should be sought. And if "no" is the answer, that should be accepted. I'm not sure how some people see that as repressive or unfair.

Periodically, roughly every 4 to 8 years, Americans hate and fear BIG GUBMINT. It really depends on whether there is a democrat or a republican in The White House. Gubmint never actually changes size. It does not expand or contract depending upon whether there is a D or an R in charge. People just think that it does because republicans who do get a chance to shrink gubmint every 4 years never actually try to do this until they are out of The White House. That sounds dumb but, that's politics. It's a business. Politicians and their parties make a lot of money on what they intend to do. Their supporters give them money in hopes of getting things done. This is why Roe v. Wade will never be overturned. Fighting it is a perpetual money maker for the GOP. Why kill the Golden Goose?

Bundy has been losing his fight versus the faceless gubmint for a couple of decades. Surely he was losing in, say- 2006. Why didn't he call in the militia then? Well, we had GW Bush then. Small gubmint that he was, Bundy must have recognized him and not been too upset at the process of American justice then. He was still losing but, he was a better loser during the Bush years.

Really now, lets be honest: Fussing with the government was not a republican thing to do between 2000 and 2008. Government, small and efficient as it was that brief period was too busy defending us from Saddam Hussein at the time for anybody to be angry at them. It wasn't until the other Hussein was elected president that gubmint got fat and sassy and thus, problematic again.

Yep. It's because of the black democrat in The White House. It's just political timing. The Bundy undies have been in a bunch for twenty years now but it's a big deal now because the GOP has seemingly bought into the anti-gubmint sentiment as an avenue to The White House in '16.

Huh? What are they going to do if they get there- shut it down? And shut it down for good this time? Make term limits "zero" and go back home to covet their neighbors lawns. Is this what the founding fathers had in mind? I don't think so. We're getting mixed messages from the GOP these days. We're used to that. They want to "take the country back". I think they want to take it back in time. Usually it seems they want to go back to the 1950's (but without labor unions) and other times it seems like 1900 (before labor unions) but, this week at least, it's 1870. Cattlemen v. Sodbusters. Whatever it takes to get a new sheriff in town, I reckon.  

Monday, April 14, 2014


Alert reader, Anita Schpanken, writes:

"Ferrerman, that awful, vertically challenged poster- Sublime1- habitchually writes about you being a horrible father. You've never addressed any children you may or may not have here and Sublime1 doesn't actually know you. In hundreds of postings about "your kid" he's never even been certain of the child(s) gender! Come to think of it, since in his estimation you are elderly, doesn't his dumb ass realize that he might be talking about a boy, girl or a few boys and girls in their 30's or even 40's? Maybe even 50's!? How old does he suspect you are?  How fucking stupid is that asshole? Hold on, Ferrerman, that's not my question. We don't have all decade here. My question is: Why don't you address Sublime1's vicious comments in the threads? For extra credit, did you see what I did there with "haBITCHually"? 

Yes, Anita, I did catch that! Sub does put the bitch in habitually! I can be an alert reader too! Your main question is a very good one!

Trolls like Sublime regularly make false accusations because they are assholes. But, that's over-simplification of a very basic troll tactic. Accusations are supposed to be answered right? Well, that's exactly what the troll wants! It's like the old loaded question: "Have you stopped beating your wife?" You can't answer that yes or no. You shouldn't answer that at all except maybe with a punch in the nose and a question posed to the questioner such as: "When do you think I'll be done kicking your fucking ass, punk?"

But, it's the internet. Anybody- even midgets- can be e-tough. The troll is looking for that too but he or she really wants you to defend their baseless accusation. They'd come in their pants if you'd confirm, but, a denial is fine too. They've got your attention and everyone elses's too. And all the troll has to do is say: "Well, you WOULD deny that, wouldn't you?"

That's just like real life if you've ever been around 6th grade school girls, old biddies or construction workers. Are there enough saucers of milk to go around for all these trolls IRL and on the internet? In the case of Sublime1, is their any reason to exclude lawyers? Evidently not. You'd like to think that a college educated guy with a career and a family would be more responsible but, we're talking about Sublime here. He still promotes Angelique770's lie about the dick pic from some six years ago even though he denies *her* existence despite a preponderance of evidence and the fact he still posts with *her*. I put the asterisks around her because I don't know if A770 is a woman or not. You know who else doesn't know? Sublime1. Probably no one who has posted with *her* knows either. For all anyone knows, A770 may well be a 300# retired longshoreman named "Lou". I may have mentioned that before....

So, such loaded questions/accusations are pretty basic troll shit whether they come from someone's mother's basement or the corporate offices of a foreign car company, during business hours. You ignore Lou just as you would ignore Mike or Billy. Neither is owed an answer to their own desperate accusations. They'll keep trying though for it seems to be their life's work. What a life...

The bottom line is that you don't owe imaginary people explanations, just because they ask. Some of these assholes will argue what day it is and demand you link a calendar- to prove them right. It's not worth that any more than it's worth defending yourself from their imaginations.

Thanks for your question, Alert Reader, Anita Schpanken!

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Don't Hate Me Because I Know Stuff

Hegel and I whupped the dogshit out of Sublime and the latest incantation of A770, Annabella, this past week. We figured out long ago that these two weren't going to give up trolling so, might as well have some fun with them and any minions or lackeys that might be in support of them. Believe it or not, there are people who, despite a preponderance of evidence supplied by A770 and Sub themselves in the form of thousands of posts made on a public forum, refuse to accept that these two sorry bastards spend an insane amount of time trolling us. I think I said it best when I said that denial is not waterfront property in Florida.

It might seem like a lot of work to gather info about crazed stalkers on the internet but, it's not. You may have heard of Google. It makes it pretty easy. And so do the stalkers themselves.

WE, however, make it fun. I always say: If you wouldn't join 'em, beat 'em like a rented, red-headed step-mule! I seriously say that quite often. It's a good policy.

It all makes good blog fodder. The internet may be weird and frivolous but, so is real life. I've long been a big fan of irony and I find it awfully ironic that people can dedicate their lives to stalking a Ferrerman and  then complain when he notices. Wait a minute- that might be more hypocrisy than irony. Let's just say it's both. And isn't it kinda like teapublicans from Congress on down to internet trolls who claim at once that President Obama is a dictator AND the worst president since Carter. Don't dictators torture people for shit like that and throw their families into concentration camps? I don't think they give them healthcare instead. I think we can add incongruous to their repertoire.

So, it's very hard to make sense of some people. This leads me to another saying of mine: Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke and joke 'em if they can't take a fuck. 

Crude maybe but, good advice nonetheless. It's hard to engage these people on their level. They hide and cower. In real life they'd be obscene phone callers and probably are. They'd be the guy that writes on the bathroom stall: I fucked your mother last night! I'm the guy who replies: Go home're drunk.

Take Sublime1. Please.... Though maybe 20 years younger than me, Sub considers yours truly his rival in life. You'd think he'd set the bar a little higher the way he talks about me! He thinks I'm just awful! He even asked his wife if she would sleep with a guy like me over him. She thought about it and said "no".  I'm a Ferrerman and a bottom-spanker. But, enough about me. Sub is a pool lawyer for some foreign company that makes safe, boxy cars. It's evidently not a very demanding job because he essentially posts on Topix all day as a sort of a self-appointed Lifestyles and Entertainment editor. He has claimed- in so many words- that his boss knows that he posts on Topix from work and his boss reads, approves and has even given him raises for his good work- on Topix....even when he's writing about wife-swapping or cheating on his wife.

So, yeah, that's part of what we're dealing with here. He trolls with Annabella. That's one of the current names of the troll, Angelique770, as dedicated non-readers know *her* from the ol' days on this blog. Sub doesn't actually know A770 and whether s/he's a penis or non-penis bearing troll. He says he doesn't care. Yikes. I don't think anybody back in the old Chicago dregs days knew either. It's hard to say. In reading some of that old shit, a few of them might have been full-time trolls like many of the Cliquers were. Story for another day there. Suffice to say, Annabella has nothing to lose with his or her trolling. Sub does. He meets with these imaginary people in real life. That's not necessarily a bad thing for most folks but most folks aren't as volatile as Sublime. Most folks haven't gone into as much detail about their personal lives as Sublime has. I think he went through law school on a self-aggrandizement scholarship. A full ride, at that. Suma Talka Loudly.

*Annabella* is just some unknown troll who views Topix as her personal trolldom. Most of her personas read female but- let's be honest- a gay dude could pull that off. Gender-bending on the internet? Oh no! I'm not just being mean to *her* when I refer to her personas as she-slash-he (s/he) I'm saying that I don't know and that anyone who would create a fake therapist persona, probably would not draw some imaginary line at crossing the gender street. Some of *her* personas do get kinda butch in gray  but the majority of *her* personas read female. If you've ever read the insipid stories that were part and parcel of the old Chicago regulars crowd, with the dungeons and the woodsheds and mental hospital settings, you'd really wonder about the author. It was odd that, though she wrote them as Angelique770, the same Angelique770 that pretended to be a therapist and showed an aversion to sex when discussed in the advice columns, would write these ridiculously sophomoric, kinky stories. No one ever noticed that. Amazing. They took tests to show how introverted that was. I think those tests might also have exposed gullibility.

I can't help but notice these things. In a previous life I must have been a detective. I try to make sense of the world. You can never completely understand the world but, it sure helps to try. It's when you don't try, when you accept things at face value because that's the easy thing to do- the suggested thing to do- that's when you have given up. You might as well be a teapublican.  Instead, question everything. If it sounds too good to be true, it really probably is. By the same token, you don't have to look at nonsense and find sense. People expect money to be the root of all evil. There's no financial gain to being a  fake therapist on the internet.. OK. Well, how about crazy is as crazy does? And if you find yourself saying things like: She's not a fake therapist anymore- she got past that- why don't you? If you find yourself saying things like that, get help. Get real help though. Good help is indeed, hard to find. Especially if you refuse to look.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

The Tipping Point

Shouldn't we all work for tips? If paying servers a decent wage would ruin the restaurant business by forcing Denny's to charge- $20?- for it's GrandSlam Fresh and Fruity Tootie breakfast, wouldn't it improve other businesses by leveling the playing field? Wouldn't it improve service everywhere from Walmart to your kids school if employees had a financial incentive to perform better? It would certainly cut payroll!

Though it varies by pennies from state to state, waiters and waitresses today make the same hourly rate that they made 20 years ago when Ferrerman was still pouring drinks. You'd probably be thrilled to be making the same money you made 20 years ago or, if you're just starting out in the workforce, twenty years from now. Right? Hey, if it kept prices down for everybody else, it'd be damn patriotic.

Now, I know what you're thinking. The servers make tips. Prices going up and "up" means they get 15-25% of inflation that keeps them in pace with inflation. Lucky bastards!

Well, not everyone tips. Not everyone tips well. And there is a huge difference between a waitress at Denny's and a waiter at Le Gran Emporium. The only similarity is that they serve for the same hourly rate.

So, why not put the whole country on a server's wages and working for tips?

Teapublican dicks are getting hard at the thought. The $2.13 an hour is right about where they'd like to have wages anyway. The Chinese do very well paying 99 cents an hour to the 99%...but, we're not communists. We can easily double that and, with the carrot on a stick that tips can be, that's quite a selling point for the spirit of American hard work.

Sans tips, I've heard it promoted this way, often in conversations about how unions were holding workers back. Why should you make the same wage as the guy next to you? Why should you be limited? Your boss wants to pay you more but his hands are tied by that union contract....

OK. So you get rid of that union and the $38.50 an hour you were getting is now $2.13 an hour- the same as the guy next to you. But, you now have options. Be a better worker and earn more in tips or, move on down the road until you find someone willing to pay you more- and make tips! Before, all you had was making the same as the guy next to you and the humiliation of waiting on the union to get around to getting you a raise. Yeah, you and the guy next to you...

On a smaller scale it is being sold like this. On a larger scale, republican politicians are actually talking about eliminating the minimum wage while democrats are talking about raising it. While that may seem to be politics as usual because republicans have long bitched about any proposed rise in the minimum, I think they are far more serious these days. It's not like they have to ask, ya know. Twenty years ago when Herman Cain (yep, that Herman Cain) set the server wage at $2+change, no one asked the waitresses if that was OK with them. They're not really asking anybody now. It's just the way we do things here. We get people talking about stuff to see how they feel about something so it's not a big surprise later on when we do what we were going to do anyway. It's called democracy. It's what happens when our representatives work for tips. They do pretty good, I hear.

Friday, April 4, 2014


Hegel and I have felt all along that we have been fighting on Topix with the same people and that, at least a few of them were Topix moderators. You just get a feel for the way people write and you know after awhile. When you're a Ferrerman, for example, you get used to new posters hating your fucking guts right off the bat. Some waste no time....

It's entertaining when alleged new trolls come along and meet other trolls as if for the first time. This happened recently on the Chicago Forum, When Annabella Met Sublime1. Talk about a dog and pony show! They pretend to just meet each other despite Annabella showing as Angelique770 in replies on the Chicago Regs thread, dating back to August of '09. It's pretty obvious stuff. Clearly, Angelique770 changed her profile to Annabella. Duh!

How do people fall for this stuff? In the Chicago regs case, some of the old timers want to stick their heads in the sand and forget about how Angelique770 abused their trust. Some newer posters might want too as well, since they weren't there at the time. I get that.

The problem with sticking your head in the sand is it leaves your ass out in the open! You can't see who is fucking you that way! Yikes! Some folks go through life like that. I recommend cast iron underpants.

But, I digress. I want to know who I can trust on the threads as well as in real life. It's very difficult in both venues. If I were on the outside of this, looking in, I'd be extremely wary of people who pretend to meet for the first time, when it's very well documented that they have been incahoots for years. It's not lost on me that the particulars that stonewall Hegel and I on these things are all republicans. They also have their heads in the sand. No matter how obvious the transgression, they respond like party loyalists and say: "Well, YOU would say that!" It's like when you link a current event (like the USSC's McCutcheon decision but you do it via the Huffington Post or any 'liberal' site) and they immediately disavow it....because of the source! Some of these people- unless it was FOXNEWS telling them their hair was in fire- would just burn to the ground.

Here's Sublime1 and Annabella together a few years ago:

Notice Race is there too. He's another one who disavows knowing A770 or posting with her after she quit the Chicago Regulars. Ok. Him being an idiot is his business. Really, him being a liar is his business too. But, it's pretty obvious that he A770 and Sublime have made a career out of trolling Ferrerman. That's my business. Sub is supposed to be a patent attorney for a foreign car company in North Carolina. I don't know what race does. I think Annabella is a Topix employee. I know that all three devote the better (worse?) part of their days- and nights- to trolling me and Hegel. This is very generic, transparent stuff.

So, why don't more people *get* it? We're the TV generation. If cops, lawyer and mystery shows have taught us anything, it's to establish motive. There has to be a reason why people do the crimes they do. It might be money, love, jealousy, etc. but, whatever it is, people can say: "Oh! That's why! Well, that makes sense!"

Well, that's TV. And that is real life too. It's not Topixtown life though. Things don't have to make sense in Topixtown. People are batshit fucking crazy in Topixtown! I can prove them to be all day but, they'll deny it. Of course, the guilty ones always do, don't they? Last year we put up a preponderance of evidence about their trolling. Largely through Hegel's brilliant research, we nailed them.

They don't care. A Topix troll is alive as long as it has deniability. And it has that as long as it as lie-ability. What a life, eh?