Friday, March 29, 2013


Several years ago, me and The Rascal were working in a lease in a building that had many mental health and psychiatrist offices. Because us painters are a creative bunch, we referred to it as "the crazy building". It did have that vibe to it.

It was Good Friday. That's a Friday like any other Friday to me being as how I'm not religious. I got into the elevator and a young black girl smiled at me.

"Too bad you have to work today" she said.

I replied that it was too bad I had to work any day but, that was the way life worked.

"Too bad you have to work today", she reiterated.

OK. Why?

"Because it's Good Friday!"

I explained to her that it was just another Friday to me, not being religious and all. But, conversation being what it's supposed to be, I asked if she was working.

Indeed she was. Well, that's too bad, I said, thinking I was commiserating with my elevator friend. I wasn't. She informed me she had no problem working on Good Friday. OK....

The door opened and I got out. I wrote it off to the building I was in. Once in the lease, I amused The Rascal with the odd conversation. He too wrote it off to our location. Just weird.

Well, it got weirder. Short time later, the black kid cleaning up the lease for the GC approached me and stated that it was too bad I had to work today. This bemused the shit outa me as obviously he had to work today too. I mentioned that and he again said that it was too bad I had to work that day.

What the what? I had never thought of Good Friday as a "white" holiday. No black person had ever described it as such to me before or since. But it happened again in the lobby of the building with yet another black woman. It was too bad that I had to work on Good Friday but business as usual for black folks? I can be a nice to a fault guy but, I'm not necessarily shy. I pursued it with all these people. I really wanted to know why it was a tragedy that my non-religious ass had to work on Good Friday. Sheesh- we're not talking Easter fucking Sunday. None of these people cared to elaborate. Candid Camera had been off the air for years and this was in the late 90's, long before internet pranks took hold. I probably looked around for cameras just the same. Just bizarre,

I'm not working today. If I get out and about and go anywhere (NOT church) and I see any black folks, surely they'll nod knowingly- nice that white fella got the day off.

Monday, March 25, 2013

In my imaginary life

I lost an imaginary friend the other day.

The poster known as ArtGal passed after a battle with cancer. She was a virtual acquaintance and I never met her. That's the way it goes with the internet. You get to know a lot of people that you may never meet in real life. They are still real though and that can be as awful as it can be awesome. Most people I meet on the internet make me feel sorry for them. If I were to meet some in real life, many would make me hope to remember to be well heeled. There are some truly awful people out there and they have internet to expand the horizons of their awfulness.

ArtGal was not one of those. She was mostly a joy. I love humor and she shared that love. She was one of a handful of people who I enjoyed reading so much that I never skimmed her posts. She could be very blunt dealing with obnoxious trolls or deft. I like fucking with people too 'cause that keeps them on their toes. When they're on their toes, they walk funny. It's much easier to deal with them like that.

I imagine that AG was as good looking as her avatar pictures presented her. This is to say, yes, I found her quite attractive. She was married too and a mom so, keep your dirty thoughts to yourself. I know I usually did.

That's the thing with imaginary internet people that we often forget. They do have lives and, in many cases, people who love them. We don't usually really know about these lives of theirs. We just like to think we do. I know I'm like my old co-worker, Larry Mysterioso, in that, I won't lie to folks- I just won't tell them stuff I don't think they need to know. That really keeps them on their toes...and dancing quite humorously...

ArtGal was one of several that I wish I did know, in real life. I think she would have represented well, mirroring in reality her on-line self.  A real person, here and there. I like to think so.

Goodbye, Andrea. I hope to see you on the other side someday.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

This Old Blog

I like the show, "Rehab Addict" on The DIY Network  (which I don't get) and HGTV, which I do get on the cable. The hostess, Nicole Curtis, is a cute little, blonde lady who has a great eye for old houses and what it takes to preserve and protect them. I'd be remiss in my duties as a Ferrerman if I didn't also mention that she has a spankable bottom. As important as that may be, it's not that important because, if you watch the aforementioned channels, so do all the other hostesses of the fix it/sell it shows. (Programming note: For you ladies, the hosts also tend to have (presumably) spankable bottoms. That's the predictability of equality in TV land).

What I like about her show is the preservation of the old houses, the keeping it real part. Why not sand and refinish that 100 year old oak floor? Does the whole world have to be tiled or carpeted? Bamboo flooring or cork is great and renewable resources and all that good stuff but, if a century of oak or maple is already there, use it- don't lose it. And if you want open concept buy it or build it. The Victorians didn't design that way. Nichole maybe be a little nutty in her ways but I think she comes by it honestly and wears it well. I also like the fact that she doesn't do her magic in three ridiculous days like the rest of the programs do. She has a budget and time-frame but, it's not three ridiculous days.

The other night I was on her Facebook page. She started a thread about greedy realtors  who take advantage of the elderly and the families of the recently deceased. That's often the way these FB pages go. You just throw something out their and see if anybody chases it. Some people jump on and tell her how cute she is. Others rave about the show. Some ask how to questions in the hopes that she has time to answer. Your Ferrerman gets all that but, the internet and it's various venues are also a place for dialogue and the exchange of thoughts and ideas. Conversation in the 21st century! How 'bout that?

Not everybody gets that or even tries. I'm used to agreeing or disagreeing with people and don't mind it when someone disagrees with me unless they're a complete dick about it. Even then, if you come by it honestly, i'm some degree of OK with it. Well, maybe...

I won't replay the whole thread but, since we were on the subject of scumbags, I mentioned I didn't care for the scumbags on another network that buy foreclosed homes at auction. These assholes take advantage of other people's misery but buy the homes hoping to flip them, spending as little as possible in the hopes of making as much as possible. OK, I get it. Buy low- SELL HIGH! This isn't speculating on storage lockers. It's big time real estate.

Well, some bitch took me slightly to task for my stance. Maybe she and her husband do that for a living? I looked at her page and saw she was a big fan of Fox news and other republican outlets. The GOP is of the opinion that the housing crisis was caused by people forcing bankers to sell them houses that they could not afford because they, must feel entitled or something because, that's the way liberals are...

People of the republican persuasion do feel that way. They have actually been taught to believe that. I think that was that poster's issue with me. Or, like I said, she might pimp houses and not like my assessment of house pimps. It could be she's just a persnickety bitch who likes to control conversations that she has no control over. A few dozen people remarking about how cute Nicole is- fine. One Ferrerman setting a conversational stone off the path- not good.

Well, a nice thread like that is not my place to be brawling .It does seem like everywhere I go these days, people want to fight about everything! This is because absolutely everything actually IS republican or democrat! Hey- you're talking to the Ferrerman that looked at the woman's FB page to determine that she was a jerkface, republican! You just got to know where and when to fight. If complimenting the very lovely thread host is staying on topic in the eyes of most readers, well, okie doakie. Mind you, I don't think Nicole is fishing for compliments. She did mention that she wasn't addressing foreclosures... I got that part- I was just- oh, never mind

 That's the three rules of real estate: location, location, location...

Those are also the three rules of blogging.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Turmoil In Topixtown!

I was looking at the Topix Forum the other night and noticed that I was one of 145 people in the entire world doing just that. Over on the Offbeat however three times as many people were looking at that nonsense. Oops- that's only 449. Three x sounds so much more promising....

For comparison, 7, 389 persons were reading the Human Sexuality Forum.

Sex sells and creepy sex really sells, at least in comparison to the debauchery of the first two forums. From my perspective, it makes more sense that more people want to read about guys who like to sniff their sister's panties than want to read about what a jerk Ferrerman is. See, mind you, those 7,389 aren't just looking at that topix but an entire forum of such topics. Similarly, not all 145 people are getting their anti-Ferrerman sentiment on either. It's just a handful of haters be hating and trying to sound like a mob. The rest are looking at any of 100 other, less Ferrer-centric subjects.

There is more conversation than ever that Topix is rife with paid trolls/posters. Sheesh, if it is, they suck donkey balls because it's not helping. If Topix's new business plan is to drive intelligent, fun posters away, then they are succeeding.

I can't say definitively who is on the Topix payroll and who has a severe meth problem but, there is no real law in Topixtown. The moderator on the Topix Forum is very unprofessional and too cozy with the more nefarious posters. My beef with her is that she fights with posters (such as myself) and that shows disrespect for the posters and the position. She hasn't *busted* me on a thing, contrary to what the jealous trolls are fond of saying of late. She actually absolved me (officially) of one bogus accusation. My enemies spun that to say she busted me for trolling women via gray box yada fucking yada because she also managed to pull that post so that they could say that, even with a crooked face. So, my take is that a moderator shouldn't be doing that. The last complaint I made to Topix said so. That was to a different mod. The offending mod hasn't been seen since.

She's probably still got her job. They might be making her actually do it is all.

Frankly, I'm surprised that I still have my profile. I've got ex-wives that I don't talk to like I talk to mods. There are crazy drivers whom I don't talk to like that. I get a little blunt and salty when I complain to Topix about some cowardly scumbag posting my personal information and Topix mods dragging their feet to remove those posts while yanking the non-offensive posts of myself and others in a New York fucking heartbeat. It's not a level playing field at all. It's easier for 102 year old black ladies to vote in Florida than it is for a Ferrerman to get justice on Topix. And pretty much for the same reason too. Suppression.

It's not lost on me that the same assholes who have dedicated their lives to fighting Ferrerman are- each one- teabag hatriots. There's not a democrat in the bunch. There couldn't be! We just don't have that obsessive hate thing going on. There's maybe a dozen of these assholes- tops- operating under a ridiculous amount of socks. Very sad. Amazingly, it turns out they all know each other! It's been suggested that myself, Hegel and our friends are fighting a group of mods. Maybe. Like I said, it would be stupid and counter productive but, who says people aren't stupid and counter productive? Have you seen Congress or the republican party lately? They've got no problem cutting off other people's noses to spite their own faces.

But, I don't think these assholes are mods themselves. They'll read this or hear about it and SAY I said and believe that but, that's because they have the reading comprehension of badgers. I'm just saying it could be the case because, ya never know... I'm more inclined to think they all simply met on and fell in love once they discovered they shared mutual anti-ferrerman sentiment. That makes more sense.

Regardless, they aren't doing Topix any good. It's like the GOP fighting absolutely every thing Obama does or tries to do. You burn the candle at both ends and you have neither foes nor friends.

Perhaps a dozen assholes hate me. Goodness! What would they do without me? They really shouldn't hope to find out. It seems they are desperately trying not to kill Ferrerman but, to kill where he hangs out. Scorched earth...

Monday, March 4, 2013


I'm a big fan of the AMC series, "The Walking Dead". Until it came along in 2010, I  never much gave zombies a second thought as I have never been much into horror films or science fiction. As a post apocalyptic genre, it's pretty damn interesting though and, technically possible. I think. The right combination of chemicals could affect (effect?) the portion of people's brains that control speech and motor skills, causing millions to stagger about, incoherent. Admittedly, listening to Glenn Beck can cause the same symptoms. However, Glenn hasn't asked his fans to consume (raw!) human flesh on the hoof, so to speak yet. Yikes!  So, yes, I did read that a zombie apocalypse was possible, just not likely.

More likely is a British takeover of television. In fact- blimey- I think that has already happened! On The Walking Dead alone, at least four characters are British!. You'd never know until you see them out of character in an interview. They fooled me. Andrew Lincoln, who plays "Rick" on the show is a long time English actor. His father in law is Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull. That's not proof of his being English but it's an interesting fact. The proof is in his accent and his openly admitting that he's English.

My second suspect, Lauren Cohan, plays Maggie and might be the trickiest of all these English. She was born in America (Philadelphia) but raised in England. So she's American but...speaks with an English accent!

David Morrissey who plays "The Governor" on the show is the third trickster. I had no idea. It was an interview that gave him away. My dumbass still wasn't looking for clues after the first two Brits fooled me. I can be really slow at times. He's from Liverpool which makes him a Scouse. It's also where The Beatles are from. If he can sing I'll probably be the last to know.

Last night they brought back a great character, Morgan, who had been absent from the show since the first episode where he helped Rick after he awoke from his coma. Morgan is played by Lennie James a fine black actor whom I can't refer to as an African-American because he too is English!

Is there some actor shortage here in America? This recession has been tough but do these English actors work for food and live in dormitories, stacked up like cord wood? The Walking Dead takes place in the South. Is Michael Rooker (who plays Merle in the show) the only actual Southern actor in the show if not the world? I can vouch for his American-ness. I worked with his cousin. They hail from Alabama. ROLL TIDE!

I guess I'm not really mad. Actually, I'm impressed. That they fooled me- A Bored, Certified Ferrerman- is pretty impressive. They are pretty damn good actors.

I guess if we ever do have an apocalypse here in America, it wouldn't be too awful if we were overtaken by British actors who blended in perfectly in American life and the only way to identify them was to get them to do television interviews. That might be a good plot for "Homefront". That Damian Lewis- now there's an all-American boy...