Monday, April 26, 2010


I could picture 770 in her bunker, cigar dangling from her mouth, chubby fingers pounding away at the keyboard beating out insructions to her underlings:

"Reinforce The Quiet ROOM!! Get an extra ninnie in A Tranquil Place!! Someone check on the less important dregs in the Chi Town Forum!! Get someone over to the IQ! STAT! People- that Ferrerman is out there and he wants BLOOD!! He will ATTACK any moment now!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!! THIS IS THE BIG ONE!!"

"The 'big one', CherieL sighed, a wry smile coming to her face, "we would expect THAT from a Ferrerman..."

But, there was to be no attack for no attack had been planned nor intended. Ferrer had, once again, fooled the ninnies. Easy to do- sure. But necessary and actually a rather nice, effortless way of doing business for a Ferr enjoying a wet, Spring weekend of baseball, with a side of NASCAR and hockey.

I took them off their game. That was the intent. Their game- weak as it was- was stalking me on various threads, annoying my friends and causing my enemies to wet their pants with glee at the knowledge that others- every bit as infantile and useless as they- also hated Ferrerman and were incessant about posting about it as well. The dating service for trolls has been gaining steam lately. I need to start charging.

So, 770 and her multiple personalities and real and imaginary minions have been duped by the Ferrerman. It was a canard. An act of chicanery. Once again, Ferrerman has pulled down your boxers and given you a spanking. But, not the GOOD kind!

Ferrerman felt he had never slept in a better bed...

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Anchors, baby

I'm glad to see Arizona getting serious about illegals. I may question their timing but I do not question their method.

If I break into your home while you are on vacation, I've committed a crime. Even if I treat your home as if it were my own and do things around the house that you've been meaning to do (but, just didn't want to do) I am still a criminal. If my wife gives birth while we are in your home, that doesn't diminish the crime. Nor does it negate it.

Illegal aliens are not immigrants. Not even "illegal immigrants". They are simply illegals.

Liberals talk about the ridiculous amount of money that it would cost to deport the millions of illegals we have here at this moment and speak instead of amnesty, and a path to citizenship. How does that rehabilitate criminals? It just sends a message to others that, America, soft on illegals, will pretty much look the other way for a while until you all get settled and then- WELCOME TO AMERICA!

Liberals are also complaining about "racial profiling". Goodness, we can't have that! Yes, we can. Arizona being a border state, is certainly home to tens of thousands of Mexican-AMERICANS who have a long and proud history of several generations as AMERICAN citizens. Surely, many of these families are as American as my Swedish, Norwegian and Irish-American relatives. I'm sure that, despite their brown skin, brown eyes and black hair, they will have no problem convincing a policeman of their citizenship. See, this is where the profiling comes in. Cops aren't looking for the brown skin. They see it- it's there- but, they are looking at what the person in that skin is doing; where they are hanging out and such. If it's a group of 20 some Mexican men hanging out around the Home Depot in Flagstaff, my guess is they are illegals. Soon a policeman will be allowed to approach the men and ask them- in English- for their identification. Within seconds, presuming their lack of English, he will have just cause to believe they are NOT American citizens. He can ask for proof of citizenship and, if they don't have it, he can arrest them and hold them for deportation. What's wrong with that? That is NOT Nazi Germany. THAT scenario rounds up ALL Mexicans (in this case) and sends them to concentration camps REGARDLESS of citizenship. This is not on the table for anyone in government.

But, such enforcement could soon become cost prohibitive as police round up illegals by the thousands to be moved through the judicial system in the process of deportation.

This is where Jan Brewer and Arizona lose me. You cannot hope to afford to deport a few hundred thousand illegals in Arizona. The illegals know this and they will more or less see it as a "cost of doing business", kinda like it was 20 years ago when I was in the restaurant business and one of our guys would get picked up, sent back to Mexico and be back on the job inside of a week.

You have to make these illegals self-deport and you do this by eliminating the reason to sneak into America. Jobs.

Enforce the laws already on the books that say it is illegal to hire illegals- fine the SHIT out of the corporations and contractors who hire them- and make these people go back home because there is NO work for them here. Force them to deport themselves, on their dime, not ours.

And I think Republican Governor, Jan Brewer and I might part ways on this as well. I'm gonna guess that a lot of republican campaign funds come from corporations and contractors etc. who might have benefited the last few decades from cheap, "immigrant" labor. They won't like being held accountable for that. They will next ask their minions to fight that, I guess because, well, don't corporate profits ALWAYS trickle down to you and me and make a strong economy? I mean- they must know what's good for us because they're rich. Right?

Illegals do not come here because America is some gigantic Utopian welfare state where all you have to do is have a baby born here and you are set for life. If it worked that way- and worked well- YOU would have already been doing it. They come here because there are jobs that pay better than they do in Mexico or Central America. It's the same with nearly ALL parts of the world. It's just a helluva lot cheaper and easier to walk here from Mexico than it is from China or Poland. Obviously, this country was built on immigration. It was built though, by people who emigrated here through proper channels and who wanted to become citizens of the United States. They were not brought here strictly as cheap labor to pad the profits of corporations by displacing American workers and lowering wages.

Enforce the laws we have about hiring illegals. Fine the corporations, factories and contractors hiring these people. Hit them where it hurts- the profits. This will encourage them to hire American citizens, pay them a living wage and get this country back on track and out of this recession. Is taking care of America and her citizens too much to ask of either party?

Saturday, April 24, 2010

All The Lonely People

Again with the "Nuclear Names Proliferation". Just like any terrorist with a little of this and a little of that can make a dirty bomb or a weirdo country like North Korea can starve it's people in order to afford nuclear weapons, any idiot with an e-mail account can be a troll. Ah, yes, but- can any of them be a superpower?


I know what you're saying: "Here goes Ferrerman AGAIN, whining because he has the absolute stupidest, most useless, talentless trolls, EVER! Doesn't Ferrerman realize that complaining about stupid, useless trolls will NOT make them smarter and interesting? It's just NOT gonna happen, Ferrerman, EVER!"

Well, I think you're right about that. My trolls must have been cursed and in such a way heretofore unseen since Sam Siannas of The Billygoat Tavern got pissed off at the Chicago Cubs for not letting him take his pet goat to the World Series in 1945. As legend has it, he put a curse on the Cubs for this, ensuring that they would never again win a World Series due to that infraction.

People believe that shit. Of course, the decades prior to that were without Cubs WS championships too but there is no goat explanation of THAT. And, to ensure WS championships, other MLB teams do NOT encourage fans to bring farm animals to the ball park. The Yankees, for example, tend to win with high-dollar free agents like A-Rod and Clemens. You never see them putting a WS ring on a pig named Arnold, ya know.

But, I digress. There is no logical explanation why I have trolls whose whole repertoire consists of calling me "Fairyman" and re-posting quotes of mine from this blog (which no one reads BTW...) and from various Topix threads I've been on. It simply is what it is. They just suck at what they do. Yes, I'm highly quotable because I'm a fairly good writer and gifted with a quick wit and, because I'm high-profile, I'm seemingly up there on a pedestal to be pooped on by the occasional pigeon. No problem there as I am self-cleaning. A few well crafted sentences make the pigeons go away until they can think of returning with the same tricks only to fly away again. Honestly, how long before one posts asking me if my refrigerator is running or if I have Prince Albert in a can?

It's certainly been fun for me to continually trounce them in the threads. It's gotten kind of old though. They are just smart enough to know that they can't actually be caught and that they don't have to stop. Something about the anonymity of the internet... You truly cannot beat them. It's like beating up a little southern boy- one of those 5 foot something guys that fancies himself 10 feet tall and bullet proof but is all mouth. Whupping his ass only means that years later he will be telling folks how he beat YOUR tall ass and/or how it took you and three other guys to put him down...

770 is like that. I have no idea how short s/he is IRL, but I'm guessing five foot nothing and all mouth. If your internet persona is that of a beautiful female, educated, therapist/teacher/scientist and you CHOOSE to "battle" with a highschool graduate, painter- and you can't beat him- perhaps you ought to get back on the porch. But, that's the thing about trolls like him/her. They feel no shame. They answer to no one save for the voices in their heads, voices that likely only encourage and reaffirm. The invisible cloak of anonymity shields them wherever they go. They become someone on the keyboard. I've long hoped that IRL s/he WAS a real therapist because it would make it that much more enjoyable to ridicule a troll who professed to have so much going on. Honestly: she's studying topix, using the dregs as a control group, gauging people's reactions to her posting stock photo's of pretty girls on her avatar, having her "students" troll me (and others) and writing truly awful stories about it? People BELIEVE that?

That's what is sad. Whoever 770 is, she's insane. The reverend Jim Jones was insane. His followers were, just that- followers. They believed that what he was doing was right...because he told them it was. That didn't make them insane just, kinda stupid. Easily led. Most people who are easily led are that way because they want to be. They don't mind taking an EQ test to determine what degree of introvert they are. A simple, "Would you rather read a book or would you prefer to attend a concert?" might cut to the chase better but, I'm guessing psychology doesn't work that way. People like me would ask; "What book? Who's playing? Is the book a mystery or non-fiction? Is it gonna be heavy metal or Justin Beiber? I ask because I gotta know what kind of drugs to bring. Can I read a book about rock stars instead? Would a poetry slam be like doing both..?"

You get the idea.

So, trolls, it's ON! I'm tired of this crap. Beginning tomorrow, I will battle my trolls with a tactic so diabolical and evil my trolls will not know what hit them. Be forewarned, 770 and others. You brought this on yourselves! It has to be this way. Your sad lives WILL be ruined...

Monday, April 19, 2010


I don't know how I did it but, I think I inadvertently started a dating service for my trolls. Yikes!

Remember last week when I wrote about "Nuclear Names Proliferation" and you dedicated non-readers didn't read that? Well, things have exploded in troll land! My trolls have started to court each other. They are having playdates on each other's favorite ferrer threads. They have discovered love in the common enemy that is Ferrerman. Ah- Spring- when a young trolls fancy turns to other trolls...

Weird, huh? Well, actually, right now only shadoe and Elmer Fudd are dating but, I suspect that others will hook up soon as well. This usually starts to happen when the weather warms up and trolls start to wear more revealing outfits showing off the winters storage of fat and sores.

Elmer Fudd seems to be empowered by the fact that I don't know who him or her "are". Duh! There are one million m-effers I don't know on Topix. Fudd seems to think he/she/it is more special than other trolls though I can't see why and Fudd hasn't worked up the courage to explain why Fudd is so angry with me. I am a pretty good poster with a sharp wit (IF I may say so myself) and I've wounded several hundred miscreants on the threads. Some people never get over it. That's too bad. Obviously there needs to be a certain degree of anonymity on the threads but it would probably help if Fudd made a better effort to identify himself and maybe man up and explain how I hurt him/her/it. Then we could take it from there.

Fudd's intent seems to be to sabotage my friendships elsewhere on the threads. Rolling a rock up a mountain might be a better goal. These friends of mine are not easily led ninnies and dregs. The Monkeys and the Patriots are some of the finest people I will ever post with. They are smart and funny, warm and engaging. Now, a dreg would say: "You're only saying that because you LIKE them!" Well, yeah...that IS how friendship works. But, that's the way dregs are. They are- what's the word I'm looking for- STUPID! With the blow-up yesterday, several are already saying that, not only am I all of my friends, I am also all of my enemies. I should real fuck with their heads and say: "How do you know I'm not YOU?" That'll drive them crazier trying to figure that out. These people can spin worse than FOXNEWS. If, for example, Angelique denies to them any trolling of Ferrerman, they take that at face value. They know she's incapable of lying, perhaps because she told them so. She wouldn't lie about that...

I told race that I wasn't trying to win any hearts and minds from what remains of the dregulars left behind on the Chi town forum. When I found the secret thread, "The Quiet Room", it was strictly in response to A770's relentless trolling of me all over Offbeat. If they want to hide from and have a quiet place to talk badly about their old "friends" in the Chicago forum, that's their business. If the "friends" left behind want to cling to the hope of one day being invited to the secret threads, that's their business, as sad as that is. But, when trolls want to bother me AND bother my friends in the process, that is MY business. Goodness! If they think i'm a handful, they haven't seen the rest of the Chicago mob!

Sunday, April 18, 2010


Taxes and big government are a problem in this country but, contrary to seemingly increasingly popular belief, they were NOT invented by Barack Obama. They existed long before him and they WILL exist long after him.

Pretty much every American could agree that government should be more efficient and streamlined and that taxes shouldn't be so gosh darned high or, if they are going to spend our tax money, couldn't they at least spend it wiser than they have been?

All the republican presidents we've ever had spent every nickel as if it were their own, right? Then along comes this Obama guy. He wants more money and he wants it from RICH PEOPLE! WTF?! The middle class had been doing such a fine job of supporting this country until he came along. Now he wants rich people to pay their "fair share". Well, evidently that's something that communists do!

Transparency, which Obama promised, is exactly the problem with the tea-party movement. They have transparency. That most intelligent people can see right through them is their downfall. They could easily complain about taxes and big government and get the majority of the country on their side. If republicans and democrats of all colors and all walks of life banded together and protested high taxes with media coverage and wrote and phoned congressmen and representatives, reminding them who voted and who they worked for, I promise you there would be action. You know who could lead such a movement? Our president. He wants better government and reasonable taxes. The tea parties should have been his idea. Rally the people. Force congress to change their evil, spending ways. We're mad as hell and we're not gonna take it anymore!

Yeah, I wish he had. It'd make the threads and FOXNEWS slightly more interesting. He wouldn't have the support of anyone in the tea party movement though. They seem to oppose him no matter what he does- perhaps you've noticed?

If Obama were to be against 'big government" you would hear Sarah Palin and FOX pundits touting the "virtues" of big government. Actually, we had big government during the Bush years. They weren't against it then and honestly, if there were to be a republican president in '12 or '16, they won't be against it then either. They tend to live in the moment (when they're not living in the past) and in this moment, big government is bad. It's bad because it's a democratic big government and, well, because there are n-words in the white house.

Yep. I played the race card again; that tired old, worn-out race card that democrats love to play just cause there's a black guy in the white house. People in the threads will call him a "monkey" or a "jig" and then get indignant that someone might think they were being racist by that. Yeah, imagine that? How does one draw racism from that?

Denial is not just a river in Egypt which is a country chock full of n-words, BTW. But, by and large, the tea-party persons flatly deny any notion that they might be racist. This is why they choose to portray Obama as a communist/fascist/socialist/muslim/etc/etc. He's all things to so many people and, usually, all at once. But, it's not because he's an n-word. THAT is just a card for democrats to play. Probably because we're all n-word lovers...

See, they just hate him because he wants to destroy America. His being an n-word has NOTHING to do with it. It's because he bows to foreign dignitaries...and he hates America...pals around with terrorists...he's Muslim...

Well, enough dancing around here. The tea-baggers hate him because he's a nigger. They know it's "wrong" to say this aloud but, this IS how they feel. They WANT to say it but political correctness (a demoncrat plot to subvert the first amendment BTW) makes them look like racist jerks when they do. The true base of the tea-party is racist jerks who simply hate niggers in general and Barack Obama in particular. They can deny it all they want in public but they cannot deny it to themselves. There surely are some well-meaning, disgruntled republican, second-place-finishers in there and that is to be expected after any loss, but, you are judged by the company you keep and that is why the majority of Americans do not want to side with gun nuts, skinheads, radical Christians, birthers and all others that add up to racists.

You take a grand idea- and government and tax reform IS- and it gets diluted with hate-mongering freaks. I'm disgusted with the not so-thinly-veiled threats of assassination and the bold, out-right promises of violent revolution that I see in the threads. They speak of "revenge". For what? Losing an election? Get over it. These people piss on the words of our founders to justify murder, treason and anarchy.

And, yeah, I know these assholes are pissing in the wind as they whistle through the cemetery with all their talk of killing democrats and taking back America. And that's just the boys and girls on FOX...

Well, not yet anyway. It's a bunch of losers on the net that say these things. They mean it, they believe it and they want others to think it's so and will be so they will have company in their misery. The idiots on FOX are dangerous though. They keep fueling the fire, I think in hopes of pushing some nutjob over the edge. Right now their "job" is to be contrary for the sake of being contrary and the billions of dollars that philosophy brings to Murdoch's coffers. They've got job security no matter who is in office. They cheer lead for the right and disparage the left. It all pays pretty much the same. It's business as usual until one freak takes their dogma to heart...

There's a Tim McVeigh out there waiting to happen. FOX and various jerks on the 'net want desperately to give him his 15 minutes of fame because they are too smart and cowardly to do it themselves. I wish this were about middle-aged men in tri-corner hats, with poorly spelled, hastily made signs demanding better government. I wish it were at least that productive. But, it isn't. It's about hate and fear being the residue of defeat. It is not the seeds of revolution growing this spring, rather, the same old hate like weeds that will never go away.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Nuclear Names Proliferation

There's been much gnashing of teeth in Topixland about the new policy of allowing registered users to hide their ISP locations. Some people think it's a bad thing because it allows trolls to operate with impunity.

Um, they always did before. I do not see this as different. Since the change there are hundreds of new avatars on the scene belonging to dozens of old posters. My troll alone has probably registered six new avatars and is proudly following me all over Topix as s/he reprints things that I've written here or in the threads, lest I should forget things I've written or, like millions of other people, I do not read my blog.

One of the most amusing taunts I've read on Topix is an all too familiar one where a registered poster questions the manhood of an unregistered poster. The wording varies but basically it's this: "If you had THE GUTS you would register WITH YOUR REAL FAKE NAME rather than using an UNREGISTERED FAKE NAME like THE COWARD YOU ARE!!!"

You are so right, "Poophead 1961". Ma and Pa Poophead raised a fine son or daughter and are surely proud. Say, are you kin to "Poopyhead 101" from the US forum?

Yeah, registering a "real" fake name takes guts. My troll must be easily six times the man or woman that every other poster is. Some are TWENTY times gutsy, I guess.

People really do put a lot of stock in their thread persona. Honestly, I do. Ferrerman is me, is an extension of my personality. I get a little pissed when some jerk hijacks a variation of my avatar as has been done several times in very weak effort to fool others. Imitation is NOT the sincerest form of flattery. It's really just cheap, fakery. One lady added an "r" to Ferrerman and even went as far as to add an age-appropriate photo like the one I sport of me as a six year old. I was VERY creeped out as I believe the photo she chose was of her hated ex-husband, someone she has surely entertained thoughts of killing. Gee- I'm in good company! But, for a time, the avatar she chose did fool a few people who either wanted to be fooled or just didn't pay attention.

"Hmmm, Ferrerman is usually funny and or poignant but in his last few posts he's taken to talking about what a jerk he is. Well, THAT'S different!"

Yes, it is. That was the of my trolls used several months ago when s/he and some of her gang were involved in a very bitter feud with me. Now, s/he or they are simply posting quotes of mine under a new, false Ferrerman banner as well as under other false avatars. My friends picked up on this rather quickly. Enemies didn't seem to notice anything beyond anti-Ferrerman sentiment and were just happy to have new allies in the fight against Ferrerman. Hows that go- "The enemy of my enemy is my friend"? Politics and Topix makes strange bedfellows indeed.

Some people are excited when they get their own troll, even kinda proud. It does (sorta) show that someone cares. But, the word troll itself is overused, if not mis-used and misunderstood. It's often used to dismiss anyone who disagrees with you. Over in the Chicago forum with the dregs and ninnies, it's a derogatory term for pretty much anyone who posts in "their" threads without their expressed written consent. It used to be most of the dregs weren't registered. Angelique770- ironically - encouraged ALL the dregs and ninnies to register so they "couldn't be trolled". S/he did this by trolling various dregs to show them what could happen, I guess. S/he had a proxy server at the time. I believe s/he did this so that s/he could more easily google people's registered screen names and keep tabs (and files...) on them for whatever scientific (insane...) purposes s/he had. I resisted registering because I'm lazy and because I had already developed a practice of changing my names to suit whatever theme I was posting. Alert readers usually knew it was Ferrerman clowning around to make a point so, it wasn't like I was hiding. My ISP and my "style" generally gave me away, especially when I was the ONLY person posting out of Westchester, Illinois. It was very hard to hide back then.

Irony. I only registered when 770 and teri@home trolled my name so much that I felt registering was the only way to ensure the safety of my good, fake name!
More irony. As soon as I registered, teri came up with the afore-mentioned fake Ferrerman avatar!

Talk about your nuclear arms proliferation! Where was my multi- zillion $$$$ "STAR WARS" system? I could have bankrupted them like some say Reagan did the Soviets.

These are dangerous times in Topixland. Indeed. Any two-bit punk with an agenda can now be a super-power. As if...

Thing is, there's only one Ferrerman. The knock-offs can fool some of the people, some of the time but, they do not- nor will EVER- have what it takes to be a FERRERMAN!

Somewhere in a bunker near Portland Oregon, a troll is culling words from this post, proving his/her futile existence...

And so it goes...

Friday, April 2, 2010

My First Post

I remember it well. My first post on Topix was in response to a query about white guilt and how it might or might not have factored in the then candidacy of then president-to-be, Barack Obama.

It was a nicely written paragraph about how I felt I was unencumbered by any white guilt and that I would be voting for Barack Obama based on the content of his character, NOT on the color of his skin. I printed it out but, sadly, cannot find it around here. If I could I would reprint it here. But, it wasn't that my words were so remarkable. What impressed me were the responses I got. Three people, I recall, posted back to me that, though they did not agree with me, they loved HOW I presented my opinion. I was hooked.

Wow. As a now 1 and a half year veteran of some of the nastiest threads on Topix, I am still amazed at that feedback.

It's been all downhill since. I think Topix and I peaked that day. Guess it was my, "Catcher In The Rye", my "To Kill A Mockingbird".

Now I pretty much make jokes, charm the ladies and fuck with retards. I do quite a bit of the first two and far too much of the latter.

I know I've gotten occasional positive, non-partisan feedback since but, nothing like that first day. Three people who disagreed with me were men and women enough to say so but to respect both my words and my presentation. Wow, again. They didn't have to say anything at all. I think others did make disparaging comments but, they weren't remarkable. Are they ever?

I've written a lot about the Topix world, that it's anonymity is both it blessing and it's curse. You get to say things to people that, if done IRL would get you killed sometimes. It's a place to be both bold and beautiful. There are things written that, at the time, seem so damn important, profound and/or necessary... and then you move on to the next thread. It's like real life except the conversations take place on a computer screen rather than bars, work or on a plane trip. The beauty of it is though that, you don't HAVE to be stuck talking to someone any longer than you desire. Someone else is but a mouse click away.

Well, to an extent. Is it just my imagination or is Topix just dominated by ignorant, fucking retards these days? Every thread, regardless of subject, turns out to be a combination of "us vs, them" or the continuation of someone else's ongoing feud with some other idiot. Offbeat, which is quirky by nature, could have a thread about what people might be having for lunch and, inside of a dozen posts, some idiot will surely see fit to post his idiotic thoughts on how liberals are ruining the country! It's LUNCH, asshole! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND TELL US ABOUT YOUR SALAD! JESUS!

I have "met" some truly wonderful people on the threads. Some of them I hope to one day hang out with whether it be to drink with them or to spank the daylights out of their bottoms- or both. I mean that. I think they know who they are. The thing is, that either happens or it doesn't. And it doesn't matter if it never happens. Dozens of people whom I "know" on the net have become very important to me and we've become Facebook and e-mail buddies. We may never get up close and personal, logistics and finances being what they are but, we have and will hopefully continue to have correspondence unless we drift away. It is what it is. Rather, it is what we make of it.

I'm glad I found Topix that day. I'm glad it found me. It's taken me down the dark alleys of the gun and political threads and through the streets of life with people I'd never have met otherwise, if not in print. You can take the road less traveled even if thousands of others take it as well. You make the road your own. It's life with all it's raw emotion, heartfelt sentiment, crazy uncles, dreamers, con-artists, fucking liars, jokers, killers, lovers- everyone- all wrapped up into strangers on the net.

I'll be damned- it's real life...