Monday, June 30, 2014

Semper Fidelis a Shareholders

"If I ran my army like the government runs theirs, I wouldn't have an army!"

That's paraphrasing the familiar conservative rant that typically goes: "If I ran my business like the government, I wouldn't have a business!"

That's usually said on the internet by people who don't actually have a business but did see the movie "Dave", where the line likely originated.

If people can have imaginary businesses on the 'net, why not imaginary armies?

If you think about it though, our military costs trillions and hasn't really shown a profit since 1945.  It costs a lot of money and, frankly, it's government socialism to the nth degree. Maybe it's time we privatize the military by turning it over to our corporations and running it at a profit for a change? As any republican in the House of Representatives can attest, government ruins everything. This November, many of them will have spent millions of dollars to keep or attain a seat in government to keep destroying it from within so, that ought to tell you how serious they are. They really, really hate government. It shows.

Socialism is when the "state" cares for people from womb to tomb. Or maybe that's communism?  It doesn't matter. The two are interchangeable on the internet and Fox news and I might really mean Muslimism anyways. I don't know. If you know you are probably one of those elitist democrats.

Anyway, if you are in the military, you work for the government. You get free food, housing and- worst of all- healthcare! How disgustingly socialist is that? Well, very. I cannot believe that our republican leaders allow this. It only leads to more and more wasteful spending that only serves to perpetuate the socialist military and socialist government.

If we privatize the military we would see it run efficiently and at a profit as the free market dictates. The government shouldn't pick winners and losers. If your army cannot fight and fight at a profit, you don't deserve to be in the army business. If lucky, your army may be bought out by more successful armies the same as mom and pop armies who discover that they can't compete with the volume-minded big armies.

It's a brave, new world of corporatocracy that we are marching into and privatization of the military would make the transition a whole lot easier. Plus, it would be a big slap in the face to that socialist Muslim, Barack Obama. I think that's something any idiot can get behind because, ya know, socialism in any form is evil!

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Crazy For Big Macs!

Occasionally, I like to think insane, ridiculous thoughts. No, I'm not a republican, I said occasionally. 
 But, it's fun to get in touch with ones republican side and, in doing so, get an insight into how they think. 

Take the minimum wage argument.  A lot of republicans argue that there shouldn't be a minimum wage at all, that every American should be free to set their own worth. You shouldn't have to accept the minimum if you want more, or settle for the rate that some Union has arbitrarily set through arbitration either. Now, you may not get what you ask for but, you are free to keep moving on down the road until some employer is willing to pay what you ask or until your hat floats in the ocean. Interesting thinking in that it seems to favor the employee/job-seeker but, it doesn't at all. It's got management written all over it. See also: collusion.

As if that weren't nutty enough, those same republicans who claim to be looking out for you also don't want the minimum wage to increase because they are terrified of paying $15 for a Big Mac. They firmly believe that would be the direct result of any increase in the minimum wage. Do you know when Big Macs will cost $15? When the McDonald's Corporation feels they can get away with charging that much, that's when. The price hikes in the last ten years or so regarding Big Mac's can't be attributed to the minimum wage because that has crawled along at a snails pace since the 70's. There are lots of factors in what things cost and labor costs are very important in that consideration. However, last year ABC news studied the ramifications of doubling the minimum and determined that would add 68 cents to a Big Mac's price. In a Big Mac-based economy, that really isn't a bad thing. I haven't had a Big Mac in years but if I had to pay 68 cents more and I knew the guy who rang it up for me was making a living wage, I would be fine with that.

But, that's not the crazy thinking. My crazy thought, since republicans fear rising prices so much, is that we retain the minimum and make it the maximum.

Pay everybody $7.25 an hour. I mean EVERYBODY. Cab driver? Patent attorney for a Swedish car company? Power forward for an NBA team? Teacher? Bank president? Fry guy at McDonald's? $7.25 an hour! No exceptions! That's the crazy thought! How about that? You heard it here first, folks.

But, so is (and are) the republican fits of logic that preceded my musing. If you can set the rate for others, why can't others set it for you? Or for all of us? If a low minimum means cheaper Big Macs, wouldn't the same low rate for all translate into affordable everything?Wouldn't low prices for everything benefit all of us?

If millions of people making as little as possible is the key to economic success for a nation, millions more ought to be merrier. Makes some kinda sense right? How about slavery? Now, slavery is really some low labor costs leading to serious profits! Ask any plantation owner is the American South prior to 1861. After the initial cash outlay in purchasing a human being, it's just room and board after that. It might suck to be a slave but a lot of current republican politicians think that American slaves actually had it pretty good. And from a strictly Biblical standpoint, God himself was rather accepting of people owning other people. So, there is also that.

We are all in this together and we ought to start acting like it. And we ought to start thinking for ourselves because so many others are vying to do it for us. Some of these thinkers are batshit crazy, not just messing around like a Ferrerman. It's hard to tell the difference some days who is an easily manipulated idiot, who is manipulating the idiots, and who is the playful Ferrerman.

Friday, June 27, 2014

Naked And Afraid: Detroit

I know from my survival shows on the cable TV that, humans can survive for 21 days without food but only three days without water. That ought to tell you how important water is to human life.

The city of Detroit has cut off the water supply of thousands of delinquent customers and intend to cut off thousands more. The United Nations has stepped in to call this a civil rights violation. That's the UNITED NATIONS people- the folks tell people like the formerly alive dictator Saddam Hussein that he better allow inspections of his alleged Weapons of Mass Distraction or GW Bush is going attack him.

The UN is telling an American city that they are violating human rights! Have they looked into our voting? Maybe we could have free elections here if they did?

It's still early in the day but, I bet the reichwingers are going to be pissed about UN involvement on American soil. Some of their wackier elements have been warning that UN troops will be coming for our guns- "any minute now"- for hundreds of thousands of minutes, now. I venture that they will hate this UN appraisal so much they will fucking love it!

But, forget about them. In a major American city that has already suffered enough, thousands of people are being denied the most necessary element of life, the compound that is water. Many of these people owe a few hundred dollars. It sucks not to pay your bills and people do lose cars, stereos and houses over these things but, water is a different story. It's interesting (but typical) that wealthy and corporate interests in Detroit are also behind in their water bills to the tunes of thousands of dollars but, here in America, who do we fuck with, the people with lawyers and money, or the people without? I think you know the answer.

The folks that own the Red Wings hockey stadium and the Lions football stadium. and other private enterprises, owe some $30 million collectively in water bills. They are not going to be cut off. Well, they have money and lawyers. Evidently they can pay but, they won't. That is often the criteria for shutting off someones water in most cities. "Before we slowly kill these people, lets find out if they are poor or just jerks." I'm no expert but I think most cities draw the line at cutting off water. And there are generally weather related rules about cutting off heat.

I think the Detroit water department is owed something like $118 million dollars. Maybe $100 million or so ago they could have been a bit more proactive about this. One approach might have been to include water in tax bills. Think of any apartment you may have had. The water bill was included in the rent. It's not perfect but, it beats dealing with millions of individual clients. I know poor people get behind on their taxes too.There is no perfect solution.

There is another option though. Invade Detroit. Bomb them. Bring US troops and then democracy to the Motor City. This is something Lindsey Graham and all the republican crackers want to do all over the world, all the time. They think American democracy will work in Iraq and the Middle east, bringing them into the 21st century. Well, it hasn't worked all that well in Detroit now, has it? Maybe that's why they don't try?  

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Letters- we get letters!

Here's some of the... trollespondence... that we here at the Ferrerman blog get quite a bit of and do not exschpanktly trust as legitimate correspondence on blog posts, for various reasons. Most didn't make any more sense in the context of the blog posts they were in response to and I'm doing them here to clean house a little and edumacate folks on how NOT to write a Ferrerman....

"If you guys can still see your profile instead of "Topix page missing" when you click on it, but you can't post AND see the post live, from what I can gather your IP is possibly banned. Have you tried posting with your account from a different IP? What amazes me are the icons. There can be the initial assortment of icons from normal everyday people who give checks, brilliants and such but the minute the mad iconer sees it, BOOM, 3 Racy, 3 mean and 3 disagrees. It's like a button was pushed. It would be nice if Topix allowed every icon to remain rather than let the socks sign in and out 100 times to create the icon sequence they want, which drowns out any decent ones. Mods do troll with non mod trolls. Just the other day I saw Dork ask Hegel where her account was. How would anyone know Hegel had account problems? Hegel is spot on 100% right, it is personal. Topix is taken very seriously."

~Emily Nelson

""Some people will believe what they want to believe". So true. You insist I am a troll because of my IP address but I am one of your biggest fans. Dr Dirty is in southern Oregon. I swear I am not he. He's an ass. Anyway. ------- Sublime CRACKS ME UP! What an e-fucking bragger! Like you said, if you're going to try and portray being a stud, don't post your real picture. That pic of him is hideous! He lies too. he said he never trolls gray but one of his SC posts were brought to his attention. THAT shut him up. He is worth the price of admission."

~Emily Nelson

"Ha!! It didn't take me long to bait ole dipshit Mikey did it? You liked the post and said it was a "good post". Note his comeback about the pic with Ernie Banks? I told you it was him and not Sub with that crap. In all honesty I had no idea he would say it, it was just opportune and begged me to point it out to you AFTER I made a comment here yesterday about that very thing. To answer your question my name is Emily Nelson. Happy now?"


"So no one can be right when they make guesses except you and kegel, huh piehole? LMAO"

~itk cubs fan

"Oh this used to happen to me all the time. They'd make those random statements to get yours and everyone else's attention then when you reply, no matter what you said, they'd twist it. The fight was on. Again, one of the reasons I just stopped Topix all together. I do remember a few posts that were directed to you about a son and also about some painting business. You're saying that was Sublime making them? I thought it was the other dichhead that stalks woman's feelings online, first in Coffee with Pie then the music threads? The IP was TX and he used to post a picture of Ernie banks a lot. Sublime must be spending way more time on Topix than I had imagined. I am unfamiliar with the Angelique back story other than the accusations I read. I assumed Aneglique was Susan and Persephone. I guess I was wrong?"


"Ok come on, you know who I am. Did I not leave a lasting impression? I did with a few of the others. If you Topix google my name there are at least 100 different threads dedicated to me. I must have had at least 25 accounts banned because of mass reporting by the clique for the silliest nonsensical chit. Yeah, I know you get trolled, and I got trolled right along with you for laughing at the way you rip the tards to shreds. Anyway, it became abundantly clear certain posters had an in with Mods who would divulge IP addresses to said posters, meaning you could not post in anonymity. I always wondered why I could be posting in peace in a totally hidden account, having chats about the most innocuous subjects and out of the blue have either Dork, Bex or Mikey jump my ass, create a fuss and blame the fight on me. The mods were clueing these f-wads in. I am just not so sure that's quite kosher even if Topix law prevails there. What next? Give them my IP so they can find me IRL??"


"sup piehole"

~itk cubs fan

"Miss me Pieholeio?"


"Lumping Clackamas and Portland together as one person? Now you're starting to sound like the Twin who insists all Chicago IPs (and all the ones he posts as gray) are you! I guarantee this IP is not trolling you!"


"Not Angelique writes, I read it because it's funny and I enjoy your special twist on life, Topix and politics. Isn't that your intent? If not, why write it in the first place? If IP holders who click your blog means they are your trolls, does that make Deer Whisperer your troll? Signed, Dedicated reader but not your troll. JUST a reader"


"Angelique770? WTF? You're wrong dude. Way wrong. I have NO IDEA how you connected the dots from her to me. (I assume she is she). If you don't mind, I'll continue to read your blog. I find it funny. Would angelique praise you? Good luck to your Cubbies this year."


"Whos Joy Edge Martin piehole?"

~itk cubs fan

Sunday, June 22, 2014

The Foreskins?

Did you know that, of all things, Topix has it's own patent attorney?

Yep. His nom de Topix is Sublime1 but rather than handle copyright issues for the company, he does pro bono work as the unpaid intern.... of the Troll Mod as a professional victim and the Lifestyles And Entertainment editor of various threads on Topix. In short, he trolls to be trolled for the sake of trolling.

In reality, this guy actually is a patent attorney. It must be as booooorrrrrring as it sounds because he spends an inordinate amount of time on Topix telling people about the wonderfulness of his being. He seems to be on Topix as he awaits his boss coming in and maybe asking him to check if other companies making safe, boxy cars might infringe on their own making of safe, boxy cars. Stuff like that. I understand it pays well enough but, it's kind of a dead end, boring job as far as lawyering goes. Not all lawyers can try murderers (or defend them) and tons of them eek out a living handling mundane divorces, wills and the like.  I know a lot of poor lawyers. You have to remember that, like doctors, fifty percent of them graduated at the bottom of their class.

In the news this week, the US Patent Office decided that the NFL's Washington Redskins franchise could no longer hold a parent on the "Redskins" part of their name. They ruled that "redskins" is a slur and you can't patent a slur. So, forget about it, New Jersey Niggas- that's not going to happen.

In layferrerman's terms, I understand this to mean that the Washington Redskins can continue to be known as the Redskins but anybody who wants to can profit off of that as well. This would include t-shirts, pennants- souvenirs for some lucky fans. Folks are free to take a bite out of their marketing pie without fear of legal ramifications. That's all it means. If they want a patentable name (like the Chicago Bears) they could change their name to "The Washington Foreskins" since the owner seems to be a dickhead himself and the politicians of the nation's capital would be better represented by that than they were by a slur against Native Americans.

Seems fair to me. The reichwingers are pitching a fit , blaming it on Obama and big gubmint but this was a Patent Office decision on one case, not a revocation of all capitalist rights. What irks me though is that I- a Ferrerman-  have to explain this to you all because a certain patent attorney is too busy bullying a senior citizen, cancer survivor on Topix rather than offering his legal expertise. Not one word about the ruling. What are we not paying this clown for?

There's nobody who holds the patent on assholiness. It may seem like they do but, life long ago ruled that that was to be spread around the masses. That's not a legal opinion. It's just the way it is.

This blog is in recess until the next time. Until then, the penal code will be strictly enforced.

Minority Report

I read a piece this morning about some conservative christian gathering that drew all of 300 people of that persuasion to a hotel in Washington, not counting a whole slew of reporters, to hear possible GOP presidential candidates, Rand Paul and Chris Christie. Evidently they were discussing whether they should take the approach that the country is going to hell and they should do something about that or whether they should concentrate their efforts on helping folks in need. Guns v. butter, I reckon.

I'm not sure what they concluded but, the conversation seemed to be more of the former, peppered with a bit of the latter. Not so much old time religion as more of the new-time religion that says that the country needs to concentrate more on undoing the hellfire and damnation of the Obama administration before they can get around to healing the sick and helping the poor in the name of Jesus. I coulda seen that coming a mile away.

What I didn't see coming was the decision by these good Xtian folks to replace the urinal cakes in the men's room with figurines of President Obama. Yeah. Nothing for the ladies? No Hillary Clinton pads? Why are women always afterthoughts with our Christcons?

Whattaya gonna do? Well, I'm not going to post the pic for one thing. Three hundred-some very odd people, some of them of which were peeing on the POTUS is not exactly a majority in thought or deed. We are really not into majorities in this country as the brochures might indicate. In fact, I'm going to argue that we are heavily into minorities, just not the minorities typically portrayed in the aforementioned brochures.

For example, how many Americans really- really- want to go about their daily lives with semi-automatic assault rifles slung on their bodies and a sidearm on their hip? We're talking about walking the dog, driving to work and barbequing with the Swanson's this Saturday night. How many of our nation's 310 million citizens want to conduct their everyday lives as if America were Beirut on a Tuesday?

The answer is: not that many. I really doubt if it's one percent. If my Math School skills are correct, 1% of (rounding off to 300) would be three million people. While that is a lot, it's still just one percent compared to ninety nine percent (297 million) who absolutely do not want to tote firearms as if they were handbags and cellphones.

It's fairly clear that 1% of our nations wealthiest pretty much run this country. There have been Supreme Court decisions to back this up and, they really don't bother to hide it much. If you were a billionaire Koch brother, wouldn't you want your hand on the stick stirring the governmental stew? Of course you would. As Steinbeck pointed out, we Americans see ourselves as temporarily embarrassed millionaires. Secretly, we go along with the rich running the show because we are one lotto ticket from being amongst them. What kind of idiot would want to raise taxes on his future self?  Besides, rich people are always murdering each other in delightfully wicked ways that are highly entertaining on television and film.

We also are constantly being told that we are a Christian nation even though we aren't. There are lots of Christians in this country, for sure, but, the founders did not set this place up to be a theocracy despite what you might hear these days. In fact, they were against that. Freedom of religion is also freedom from religion. That's really how that works. Of course, if you are of a certain religion you think that yours is the one and only and that yours should be the one running the show. Hey- if you don't, they will. And you know how they are....

So, again, with religion we have a minority of folks believing they are the majority. They want to do one hundred  percent of our thinking for us. If you put any of these things to a vote, the majority would vote them down. We are not a nation of gun-toting Xtian millionaires. You can stop printing those brochures right now. These minorities may be pissed off but we are not to be pissed on.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

The GOP is NUTS!

I read the other days that House republicans are confident that they have the votes to impeach President Obama. To paraphrase Joe Biden: "Big fucking deal." It's the political equivalent of saying: "I'll sue you!". You still have to be able to go to court, present a viable case and win. Impeachment happens in the senate and it's not supposed to be taken lightly, like when adulterous congressmen were aghast about Bill Clinton getting a presidential blow job. If they were of the same party, Newt Gingrich would have been asking for Monica's phone number instead of impeaching Bill. And impeachment is not like in the war movies where the lieutenant threatens the private with a courts martial. That too is a process rather than a verdict. None mean that you can just take your opponent outside and shoot them.

Of course, the republicans started calling for Obama's impeachment pretty much from the moment he won, a couple of months before he even took the oath of office. Six years later, many still don't comprehend what impeachment means. They likely never will.  We're talking about a party where 1/3 of the republicans in Louisiana blamed President Obama for the poor response to hurricane Katrina. The hurricane, you may recall, happened in 2005, three years before Obama became President.

Well, no matter. Never mind, for example, that 97% of scientists know that global warming is a threat to the entire planet, if you don't believe that based on your religious and/or political beliefs, you are as *right* as they are. That's politics today. It's a belief system that suspends all logical belief for some people. Rick Perry can say he's not a scientist (duh) but he can debunk climate change or homosexuality based on gut feelings. Well, there you go. Go play in traffic. If you believe you won't get run over, surely you won't.

I would like to believe that the DNC was behind this video but I know that it was from the GOP and has the Reince Preibus seal of approval. I believe it is nutty though!

The GOP is after your nuts because they don't have enough.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

What A Fool Believes....

This photo is making the rounds on Facebook as *proof* that most or all of the shootings and bombings that happen here in America are staged. Well, of course they are! Anyone who doesn't think so can just walk off the edge of the earth.

Evidently, dozens of people on the internet believe the shootings are staged by the government, using crisis actors who portray the victims, grieving family members and- I guess- the 315 million gullible citizens who read, see and hear about these things, as well.

Now, why would the government do this? These dozens of fucking idiots believe that Sandy Hook and the 74 school shootings since Sandy Hook, have all been perpetrated by the government to create an excuse to confiscate our guns. That's something they haven't gotten around to doing in any way, shape or form. Staging 75 murderous rampages must take up a lot of time! Republicans in particular are constantly complaining that government (which they are part of) can't do anything right. So, how is it that government can pull off all these horrible shootings and fooling all but several dozen people in this country and entire rest of the world into thinking this is one dangerous country full of gun-crazed psychos, yet they can'f win one Academy Award in the process?

Look at the young woman in the meme. She could be triplet step-sisters! No blondes or redheads available to portray hysterical bystanders? No African Americans? Chinese? Where's the diversity of perversity? That's no government production, folks.

Now, I say there are "dozens of assholes". Maybe that's just what the gubmint wants you to believe. There might be hundreds. It just seems like a stretch for the government to do this to do nothing about guns, doesn't it?

Now, if the NRA was hiring people to kill kids at schools and people at theaters and work places, that would make sense! THAT sells guns! THAT is capitalism in action! Serious action!

Ya know, I think I saw that girl at a gun show, now that I think about it. Which one? All of them....

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Stop and smell the forums

I've gotten a different perspective on Topix since the Troll Mod threw up it's hands in defeat and banned me. Topix hasn't changed but it's interesting to just be a reader now with no option of replying and, thus, effecting the dialogue. Or, as I am legally obligated to ask, is it affecting?

It's definitely not as interactive as it was about ten days or so ago! That's not bad. Nor is the timing bad. I think the days of Topix as we've known it are numbered. In my recent post here about net neutrality I wanted to point out that- as I see it- Topix would probably be one of those sites that the service providers sloooooooow down until Topix would pony up some cash. They probably don't want to do that and I doubt that even the most ardent of trolls would pay to post on Topix. So, the future doesn't look good even if the powers that be don't choose to fuck up the internet.

I hear that the new, improved Topix requires registration and (maybe) has mods that aren't trolls, and probably isn't troll friendly to poster's either. The new one seems to be making an effort to be more Facebook-like (even linking registration to FB) with cute cat videos and politics. I'll stay with Facebook for that stuff. Topix has already proved themselves to be careless in their hiring of mods, perhaps having taken their cue from old westerns where the townsfolk thought it wise to let the outlaws run the town so as to give themselves the notion that it was at least their idea.

Looking at the threads, you'd think I was still posting. It's going to be that way for a few months. Judging by the comments of the usual suspects, you might think I was still there. Well, I'm not. It's the same shit as it's always been- seeing Ferrerman everywhere they want to see me, everywhere there is someone posting gray. You know how it works: Every Illinois poster has to be Ferrerman and every other gray has to be too because, Ferrerman would use a proxy! Those accusations got old years ago and it looks like they will continue to grow older.

Today, for example, I was thumbing through Topix There was the usual fighting and taunting. And I saw where Sublime (who considers yours truly his arch-rival in life) was motoring to a BBQ when they happened upon an accident. Sub's posting the play by play at the time, on his phone.In the midst of all this, a long time troll starts going on about Bill and Hillary Clinton. They weren't at the accident. Whether it was a segue or a non-sequitur, it was stupid! But, evidently Sub's wife (a Certified Nursing Assistant- CNA) sprung into action when they saw the body, organs hanging out, covered by a blanket(?!?) and she began....performing CPR....  None of that shit makes sense to me. Well, it never did. It's just more manufactured Topix drama. There probably was a wreck. We know there is a Bill and a Hillary Clinton. But, I'm not getting where a blood-covered wife and traumatized children continue on to a barbeque after saving dude's life. Just another day in the Topix life for some....Forget it's Topixtown....

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Something to not think about....

You'd think that after Ferrerman was banned from posting on Topix that there would be trolls dancing in the streets of Topixtown. Well, as Josef Stalin may have said: "If Ferrerman were not posting, it would be necessary to troll people and then say that Ferrerman IS doing it, via private messaging or hints in the threads." The trolls don't seem to know. If they do, they aren't telling.

SusanA770 (the Troll Mod) banning us was the cowardly, foolish act of a beaten troll. It was dumb! What idiot takes their best enemy out of the equation?

I suppose Troll Mod figured we'd get new profiles, although I don't know that that is possible in my case since I'm IP banned from that site. That's where it gets stupid. I can't post there yet, they continue to claim that I do. They always did. The easiest thing to do is get a proxy server, make troll posts and then sign into your account and tell other people that "so and so" is really making the posts...with a proxy.... The person who plays Billy R has been doing that for years. It's really Trolling 101. Get a proxy, troll, accuse someone else of trolling with a proxy. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

So, if you ban a Ferrerman and a Hegel, how do you convince easily convinced idiots that they are still posting? Proxies!!!!

That will work on Walmart shoppers and jackleg lawyers. Sublime, in particular, can disavow reams of bandwidth evidence of his unseen friend's obvious years of trolling as long as s/he calls him handsome. He might even believe TM770 if s/he says he has flowing locks of hair. But, he's definitely buying it if TM770 says Hegel and Ferrerman are trolling him with proxies. This is why he never is allowed near courtrooms. This is why his own family seeks counsel outside of the bloodline. He is an idiot.

To be fair, he's not alone in his stupidity. Topix is rampant with people who so readily know stuff, they don't even have to think. Not even for a second.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

If they build it, will they come?

Though a life-long Cubs fan, I am also old and wise enough to no longer pin my hopes and dreams on groups of men who may or may not be up to the task. This includes Congress as well as sports teams, all of which technically represent us but, do well financially regardless of how they perform so, there's always a question of whether their hearts are in it.

The Chicago Cubs have been under new ownership for a few years now and I have to say I don't like the Rickett's family that owns the team. Tom, the spokesman for the family, the face, looks like Ted Cruz. Joe, the father, might as well be Ted Cruz. He's a bit of a wealthy reichwinger who sunk a lot of money into anti-Obama activities. The other kids are more active in regular business (daddy founded TD Ameritrade) and Tom is the face because he has the backstory to be the face. More of a free spirit than his sibs, Tom spent many summers after college sitting in the bleachers, watching his beloved Cubs. He met his wife there!

So, I don't care for their politics. And, like people who might move into a neighborhood where there is a Major League ballpark and complain that there is a Major League ballpark here, I have to point out that the Rickett's family should have talked at length to the neighbors before they moved in and maybe gotten a home inspection too.

Actually they did. They knew what they were getting into. Beautiful Wrigley Field has landmark status. You can't replace the iconic, manually operated scoreboard, for example. Changes must be approved by persnickety people. There is also the matter of a contract with the people who own the rooftops out beyond the left and right field bleachers. When the Tribune Company owned the team, they made a 20 year agreement with the roof top owners. So, Rickett's plans for view-blocking signs and jumbotrons have been met with lawyers. Frankly, they should be. New ownership does not void previous agreements. Even a Topix lawyer would know that. So, he'll probably have to buy them out or wait another ten or so years until the agreement is ended. And that's assuming all other plans are approved by the persnickety folks in charge of approval. Ricketts wants to build a  hotel (I think where that McDonalds was/is) aside from the accoutrements inside the ball park because he figures you have to spend money to make money to buy better ball players....

Meanwhile in Atlanta, the Braves are getting a new stadium to replace perfectly good Turner Field. They want to move 10 miles further north to Cobb County "to be closer to their fan base".  Turner Field is 20 years old. Wrigley is 100. There are some shenanigans going on in Atlanta. I think the neighborhood around Turner is too urban for the suburban fans. I don't know the neighborhood though. I think there's plenty of parking though! The two oldest ball parks in baseball, Wrigley, and Fenway in Boston, were built before automobiles and suburbs became our way of life. Both are sorta land-locked.

If you know sports you know that there is no commitment in life more easily broken than that between team and city. Atlanta's story is interesting. Usually a team has to threaten to move further than the next country to get new digs. Years ago the Chicago White Sox were about two literal minutes away from moving to Florida when then governor Jim Thompson freed up state funds to build them a state of the 1970's cookie cutter of a ballpark that was out of date when they broke ground.

Everybody loves Wrigley. Only the most soulless bastard could step inside and not feel the beauty of the baseball love. But, ya know, it's a hundred years old. There's no parking. Whereas other teams have spacious locker rooms, the clubhouses are so small you can barely change your mind. State of the art today is batting cages for the players. The players at Wrigley get a batting tee and a net inside the clubhouse if a pinch-hitter (for example) wants to take a few warm-up swings. The amenities are nowhere near state of the art. The players- home and visitors- love the ball park but....they've seen better everywhere else but Fenway. From a fan's perspective, it's a great place to visit, but there's no parking. The last time I was there I used one bathroom that was more *modern* but I think the trough urinals are still grandfathered in. Code won't let you build them like that anymore but for the masses getting in and getting out  between innings, it's the way to go. The women's facilities have always been more modern, I should add. But, not much room to expand that either.

Move the team to one of the suburbs offering acres of free land. Build it to look like a brand new Wrigley Field. Build condos and rooftops that you own or control. Smart investors would clamor to build restaurants, bars and hotels in the area around the ball park. And...PARKING! There could actually be parking. If you build it, they will come...

Probably. The Ricketts family didn't so much buy a baseball team as they bought a ball park. The attraction is Wrigley Field, not so much the men who play there. That's pretty much it. Story for another day but, the Ricketts are business men. They've already lowered payroll and that' as American as apple pie. It's euphemistically called "rebuilding". People come to Wrigley because there is no place on earth like it. Would a replica be better? Sure but, no, it wouldn't be the same. Tourists might not plan yearly trips to Schaumburg or Naperville like they do to Lakeview/Wrigleyville. You can't build 100 years of baseball love.

Well, so what? Even pouring money into it, how many more decades can Wrigley Field last? While not exactly paying the Federal minimum wage to his players, Ricketts can't fucking wait to get rid of 29 year old pitcher Jeff Samardzia to save paying him the big bucks and only 2 players (Castro and Rizzo) are signed beyond '16. We're going to be rebuilding as long as he can get away with saying "We're rebuilding!" Other teams manage to build new stadiums AND better teams at the same time. The Cubs can't do either. This makes it very hard to be a fan. Very hard to love.

So, move! What will become of Wrigley? Sell it to Nicole Curtis for $1. Let her rebuild it. I hear she's the only one who can pull off such a task....