Thursday, September 8, 2011

Then it hit me

I saw a commercial where some gradeschool girls are playing soccer and two of them coming running up to the coach, all dehydrated and cute as bug's ears. "Drink up," the coach says, handing them a Gatorade-style energy drink, "you're losing water out there."

The blonde-headed soccer player wonders aloud: "If we're losing water, why aren't we drinking water?"

With that the coach questioned everything she ever had learned about hydration via television advertising and a bottle of NESTLES water appeared over her head like a lightbulb of an idea.


Well, the Nestles song wasn't part of the commercial but, back in the day when they were known for chocolate, Nestles wasn't known for water. It woulda been kinda dumb selling water, what with it coming of the faucets in peoples homes and all. You might also know water as the stuff that comes out of the sky (usually when you have outdoor, weekend plans) and is the main ingredient in our lakes, rivers and oceans (though oceans have a different flavor). Gatorade and it's siblings were created, beginning in the early 70's, and tasted crappy and were supposed to help you play sports better because they have *electrolytes*- something water evidently doesn't have but needed back then. Water has evolved now and doesn't need electrolytes. It just needs to be bottled, have "Spring" somewhere in it's title and not have any rat turds in it (according to the god-damn FDA!) The really important thing is that it be packaged in a plastic bottle that requires oil to make. This makes everybody happy. By everybody I mean eveybody from Nestles and the Oil Companies, on down to the guy at Nestles who turns on the faucet to fill the plastic bottles of natures own elixer.

So, what they are  saying is, you still need Gatorade but you need  water too! Cause it's Rocky Mountain SPRING Water which is just as good as our BAVARIAN Spring Water but, affordably priced....

Barack Obama will spend like a billion dollars trying to get re-elected and most of that will be spent on advertising. His republican opponent will likely spend as much. Ralph Nader will spend thousands. All this money is spent to repackage everything we already know about these guys but need to forget because, they've been new and improved!

If done right, advertising works. A republican candidate will spend millions to tell you that Omama is wasting millions on this, that, or the other thing and that he won't do that. I guess ya gotta spend money to not spend money. Rick Perry, the likely republican challenger, will do away with Social Security not because it's socialist like his rivals say (and socialism- to them equals *communist*) but because it's "criminal"! "A Ponzi Scheme!" Wow! That's some new and improved shit right there!

For a front-runner, ir seems like nieche marketing to me. All his cohorts pretty much want to end Social Security and give the money to their real friends on Wall Street because the stock markets just aren't the least fucking bit criminal or any kind of a scheme....

Sheesh. "Criminal"?  THAT is criminal. If you fear that SS won't be there for folks in 20 years like he says, all you have to do is make certain that Congress can't get their grubby hands on it to go shopping or pay some bills. That's all you have to do to save SS.  They won't let me look at the books but, my understanding is there is a 2 TRILLION in SS right now with more coming in every day as well as going out to the elderly and dis-abled. Without anybody fucking with it, it'll be fine. "Won't be there in 20 years!"?? Give it to Wall Street and it won't be there in 20 days!

Marketing. Politics. They are the same to me. And they'll stay the same until some whiz-kid Don Draper tells me they are different and makes me believe it.

Madison Avenue: Do not piss on my back and tell me it's raining. Neither should you rain on my parade and tell me someone else is pissing.

I already know that water is wet and, in conjunction with air, the best thing on our planet. Please don't figure out how to package air and sell it. You fuckers are smart enough to get us into that situation but nowhere near smart enough to get us out. Neither are the politicians.