Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Close calls?

After the chaos of Monday night's Packers/Seahawks game, the only thing left is the chaos of various people's takes on real referee's versus replacements. Surprisingly, famous union buster, governor Scott Walker (Asshole, Wisconsin) wants the real, UNION, refs back. It turns out they are better than non-union ones. Imagine that! And Rmoney and Ryan feel the same way despite their love for increased profits via low wages. Sports makes strange bedfellows, I guess.

Football is the number one sport in America. It's a 9-10 BILLION dollar business. I put that in caps for emphasis so I wouldn't have to say: "That's billion with a "B"!" It's a bigger business than teachers or plumbers or snowplow drivers so everyone has to take it seriously, even anti-union, scumbag republicans. "We've got to get those union guys back!"  Never thought I'd hear them say that!

The NFL ref's are locked out. They are not "on strike".  That's an important distinction. They have issues with the league but were willing to work while discussing those issues. The league rejected that, locked them out and sought the services of high school and junior college referee's to break the strike. They didn't do this over a lot of money either. Ref's are about 3 MILLION (with an "M") of that MUCHO BILLIONS  the NFL makes every year. My understanding is the refs want a few more bucks- everyone does. They've already got a pension plan with the league, which is interesting given that they are part-time employees who, work one day a week. I gather that the HUGE issue is that the NFL doesn't want to back that pension. They'd prefer it be a 401k that they don't have to pay off on. Well, well. The republicans want to do that with Social Security. I'm sensing a theme here. With SS, we put actual dollars in a bank of sorts, to take out actual dollars when we're old. Wall Street see's other people's money laying around like that and they foam at the mouth. They, and republicans, think OUR money is better spent in Wall Street casino's because (a) YOU can get really, really richer than SS!!!! (b) If YOUR 401k doesn't do well, tough titties. It COULD have done better than that communist SS would have!

I think replacement refs came up with that idea....

You know, the regular ref's aren't all that, either. These overwhelmed, unprepared guys make us forget that. Oh sure, it's funny when a QB slides for a first down and the ref signals "safe" or "out" or calls traveling on run plays. That's entertainment! But, they get better each week or, at least less sucky. Yep, a bad call cost Green Bay a win this past Monday but, that bad call was inexplicably upheld by booth replay officials who ARE NOT replacement officials. I have no idea what they thought they saw that you, me and the rest of the world didn't. It could have been over-turned. Odd that it wasn't.

The money that the real ref's want is nothing. I think it's the thought that counts with these owners. Just like 4,000 individual millionaires pay no taxes regardless of the Bush Tax Cuts For Millionaires or not just like untold huge corporations, 39% or 35% don't mean shit when you pay zero percent no matter what.  Referees are not going to take over the league or command huge salaries like the players do. Neither are teachers or snow-plow drivers. It's just the thought that counts. You got to remind people who owns the team. Who owns the league. Who owns the balls.

Interesting that the Green Bay Packers are owned by the people.... The only major sports franchise owned by...the people.

Well now, maybe we understand that call now?

Sunday, September 23, 2012

A clean, well-lighted, space

Probably the most over-used expression of perceived internet superiority is: "I'm living rent-free in your head!!!!!"

Someone might have zinged somebody really good with this line once but, now stalkers use it, as well as various other obsessive posters, who will drone on and on about someone and then spring the "rent-free" as soon as they post to them or mention them. In real life, a crazed stalker might say this after his victim screams when he pulls back her shower curtain. No wonder she is there everywhere he goes in life! She needs him!

So, it's supposed to be a put-down but 99% of the time it is just ironic. I was thinking about this, this morning when one of my friends posted a funny on Facebook about it being suspicious about "joggers always finding the bodies...."

Well, how about those prosecutors? They know stuff about the murders that even the defense doesn't know and they are the accused! Yet the judge- sitting right there- never considers that the prosecutor might have done it. On Topix they would...

But, Topix- we know by now- lives in my head, rent-free, I might add. Technically, anything and anyone you think about or have ever thought about, lives in your head. Homer Simpson, naked and banging Marge, doggie-style is in your head right now. I just put it there! Tee hee!

I wonder if headaches are literally someone doing remodeling work in your head? You just pray it's up to code and they know what they're doing.

Ya know, I think I deal with these crazy people so that you all- dedicated non-readers- don't have to. These people may be imaginary  and on the internet but, they really exist in life and/or in other people's imaginations. This is to say, nothing happens on Topix that doesn't happen in real life. We should all be glad these people busy themselves on the internet rather than breaking into our bathrooms while we shower. If say, a Kevin, was a murderer coming up for a parole hearing, he'd be pissed that his victim's family would regularly attend his hearings.

"You people- AGAIN!? You're not over this yet???? I guess I live rent-free in your heads! Geez!!"

Misappropriation of logic is not limited to politics or the internet. It's real life too.

I make jokes here and in real life. Not everyone gets that. Topix is full of people you shouldn't make sudden moves around. I make sudden moves...Some of these moves- IRONY ALERT!!!!!!- happen in people's heads!!!!

Just like real life has "lookism" where you just don't like someone at first look and that's the way it is, Topix has that too, without  actual looking though. I promise you I get a feel for a poster right away. I like to think I can gauge their sincerity (or lack of) pretty quickly and usually make the right call. I've read people wrong before. I can't say that people always read me wrong. If they don't like me, there's probably a good reason for this. Let's face it: Life comes down to good versus evil. I'm a liberal....

There is no one on the internet or IRL who doesn't like me who I wish did like me. There are good reasons these assholes don't like me. I'm good with keeping it that way. If the Angela's like me- yikes! That makes me stinky lady parts too! That's as bad as the Kevin's who say: "I like you, Ferrerman. That's why I'm going to kill you last!" (I get that a lot! Everyone on Topix is an evil genius, it seems.)

I joke about "anti-Ferrerman sentiment" but, ya know, without it, i'd be a real jerk, loved by some of the worst people in the world.

I keep an open mind but, not really looking to renting it out, just giving it away here. I really don't think my enemies could afford this neighborhood...

Friday, September 21, 2012

The Hotel Topixtown

I only post regularly on one thread these days. It's a very nice, eclectic thread owned and operated by my friend, Hegel. There's a few trolls who show up but, it's generally a nice blend of topical chatter, cute videos and  life experiences shared amongst a nice group of interesting people. It is as Topix should be.

I confess to looking and lurking on other threads. There's two truths on Topix: confessing (as I just did) and speculating without any sort of evidence. Some people just know shit is *true*, mostly because they say so. What we don't always know is what happens to people after they quit posting. Is it like The Hotel California where, you can check out anytime you like but, you can never leave? Well, it's that plus people putting away old avatars and starting fresh to avoid or, perhaps annoy old enemies. Sometimes a name or avatar pops up and you remember that person and it might make you wonder whatever happened to someone else whom you hadn't seen in awhile.

Last night on the Chicago dregs thread one of the dregs wondered what had happened to the actual poster who had started the thread a few years back. Her name was *Andie*. Pay close attention to the spelling as misspelling causes some people to get very angry!

I had seen where a dregular wondered what had happened that caused Andie to stop posting, early in 2011.  The poster speculated that her husband might have killed her.

Oh my. You just have to *know* some of these people as I do. They tend to leap to wild conclusions and then work backwards from that to something a bit more logical, usually after a few days of fighting. I guess it was true that Andie had an abusive husband but, to what extent, I just didn't know. Death, specifically by homicide, is not my first thought when I wonder why someone isn't posting anymore. (Though, to be Ferrer, if some of these people act in real life as they post, they could well be subject to the wrath of someone.) You just never know but, I assume a new avatar or forum abdication of Topix rather than homicide. Hey- you'll get me off Topix when you pry the keyboard from my cold, dead fingers!

So, the speculator did some sleuthing. She knew Andie's real name and pretty quickly found an obituary. There was no mention of cause of death. Andie died in February of '11. She had posted a couple days before that and there had been no mention of feeling poorly. One can only hope that she passed quickly and as painlessly as possible.

Now, regular, dedicated non-readers of this blog know that, boy oh boy, do I have some history with the dregs, the denizens of the AmyAbbyville territory of Topixtown. In fact, it has been said that I am the reason this town is afraid of Ferrerman! I read that somewhere. That aside, I thought I'd drop by and pay my respects. Angela (who goes by Redheadwithglasses) had this to say about my condolences:

"At least spell her name right, you insane dickless wonder.

(andie would have appreciated that!)"

YIKES! I replied that "(she's) a lot of fun at funerals". Andie (I had left off the "e") would have appreciated both my condolences and my snappy rejoinder.

Insane? Hardly.

Dickless? I'm X number of inches away from being dickless and over Angela's personal limit of inches. Also, kinda choosy...

Wonder? I'll take that. Might have been a typo...wonderful?

Well, not everyone handles the death of others well. Honestly, that had nothing to do with Angela's ire towards me. She had a severe degree of anti-Ferrerman sentiment long before it was AmyAbbyville or anywhere else. She's kind of a "c" word and rather proud of it. She's fond of a sick *joke* she's told a few dozen times about a serial killer walking a crying child into the woods. He says to the child: "What are you crying about? I'm the one that has to walk out of here all by myself".  Well, I did say "c" word.

Others thought Angela was unnecessarily harsh towards my post. Many of the current dregs weren't around AmyAbbyville when A770 decided to go to war with Ferrerman (and lose, BTW) but, they have been informed of Ferrerman, as viewed by the tribal elders. As a wise Ferrerman once said: "Forget it, Ferrerman- it's Topixtown...."

I don't know why people can't be nice. We're only posting on this earth for such a short time.

Rest In Peace, Andie. I liked you even though I didn't actually know you.

That's often as good as it gets on Topix.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Big Brother- I'm watching you!

I think I've previously professed a guilty pleasure in the Shows "Big Brother" and "Survivor". I'm neither proud nor ashamed as both are popular, innocent fun enjoyed by millions of others. My friend Thingy is a fan. She publicly denounced me in her blog for getting her into BB but, I know she is in a not-so-secret alliance with me in a shared appreciation for it. A former Topix co-conspirator of mine denounced it as "Topix on TV" and K was pretty fairly correct in that assessment but, I view it as Topix on TV but, with a purpose. 500,000 of them, in fact.

What is it- 14 people start out in a closed set house hoping to spend three months away from loved ones for a chance at half a million dollars? Who does that? They're not all *Type A* personalities that are driven to success. That would be Ultimate Fighting or politics. BB is a blend of those plus cannon fodder. I watched every episode but, on the finale last night, the first few people evicted were kinda foreign to me. Well, it was over two months ago. The show isn't as heavily edited as Survivor is. That show takes place over 32 days real time and has long-since been decided by the time it premieres it's first episode. Both shows are edited and have been accused of staging events, confrontations and conversations for continuity and artistic license. I can live with that as, well, that's showbiz.

I like the group dynamics of both shows. Who steps up? Who steps down to "fly beneath the radar". Survivor tends to be more about leadership and competitions because of that deserted island theme but it, like BB, is heavy on secret alliances and back-stabbing.

Before Topix, I used to equate both shows with work. You'd be shocked at how cutthroat painting is unless you stopped to consider the jerks that you work with. Now you know what I'm talking about. People do the darnedest things at work. Even if there's no immediate financial reward, they try to outwit, outlast, outplay by being duplicitous assholes. Sheesh.

Topix is ultra-duplicitous, filled with false alliances, rumors, innuendo and general skulduggery. It's filled with everything but a season finale. So many people winning but, no closure. No cash either. What is the point? No one knows.

Anyway, It's hard to make it to the final of either show (the TV one's, I mean) without getting a little dirty and a little bloody. AND, you have to answer to the people you very likely dirtied and bloodied. AND they have to decide if you earned the right to the money they had come to win.

Nobody played a more interesting, diabolical game than Dan did. Though he was instantly lauded for his brilliance when he staged his own *funeral*, he lost me when he *turned* on Danielle and brought her to anguished tears. That was cold. We all quickly learned it was a stunt (and *brilliant*) but, it was painful to watch. We didn't want to see her hurt. I'm sure it won him another shot at the game in the near future as the best ever to play the game and, he probably is the best. He's won before. Fuck him. He made the cute, dumb chick cry...a few times...

Ian, the boy genius, was duplicitous himself. He did it without being a Machiavellian jerkface though. To me, that's the game. One goes into it knowing that every other player wants the half-million dollar prize and WILL lie to you to get it. DUH! I'm more offended by someone foolishly believing an obvious liar and then being angry because that person lied to them on a reality show!!!! It's like Louie in Casablanca being shocked- shocked- to find gambling going on. Only it was cute with Louie. It's pathetic without.

My fear last night was that Ian didn't vote out Dan when he had the chance. There had been other chances to get other dangerous contenders this season and I'm certain other fans wonder as I do, why these people cannot see the danger of certain players like we do. They are right there! Are they blind? Maybe it's the armchair quarterbacking like we do in sports. We see the tight end was wide open- why didn't the QB see him?! Well, he didn't see him. It's that simple, in football.

Ian could have beaten either Dan or Danielle but, with Dan in the final two he did run the risk of the jury respecting Dan's play over his. With Danielle up against them there was a risk of a sympathy vote for her down-home likableness. But, no one was going to go so far as to pretend to think she played a better game than Ian. I really thought he might have fucked up evicting her.

If not for Danielle's dumb ass *loyalty* vote for Dan, the vote would have been 7-0 for Ian. Good game, good kid. He's been a fan of the show since he was ten and gave Mike "Boogie" a good comeuppance on the show's opening night by throwing that awe-filled fact out there to the old man, former champ. And better, he orchestrated Boogie's eviction. Better still, Boogie respected his play. it's a game...

One beef I have is that both shows are so dependent on their past relying on giving second and third chances to compete, even to past winners. Yeah, it adds some drama to the show. If I were a player though, I'd concentrate on getting rid of experienced players pretty darn quick. Again, I guess it looks easy to those of us playing along at home but- Boogie- telling you what to do? Think maybe he might have an agenda?

Well, Big Brother won't be back until next summer and Survivor is just getting started. I think I'll go take a look at Topix and see who's winning. I'm a former champion there, ya know...

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Driven to distraction

Today I shall write about something that I don't have a lot of info about but, I shall comment on anyway. Perusing the sports section this morning, I saw a pic of former actress and child star, Amanda Bynes, who is all growed up now, looking good and, sadly, in trouble with the law. It seems she has a problem with drinking and driving. She was in the sports section because she's a cutie (the Sun Times likes to include pretty women on that particular page) and, for some reason, crazy b-ball announcer, Dick Vitale, had seen fit to make a comment about her. Thus, the six degrees of separation to sports.

When she was a kid, Amanda was on a popular show my kids liked. I watched a bit of it and thought she was quite talented and had a good sense of comedic timing. One troubling thing (just to me, I guess) was that a lot of her comedy and characters seemed to be built on old time comedians like Lucille Ball. This smacked of stage parents to me. I guessed that mom and/or dad pushed these archaic influences on her that might be funny to the kids but, the kids wouldn't know why. It's like old Warner Brothers cartoons were funny to us but, written at a grown up level. Rocky & Bullwinkle is a classic example. My young Ferrerman self enjoyed it when my avatar pic was taken. My older Ferrerman self gets it now. The humor is timeless if not ageless.

As much as I know about her career, Amanda went on to have a series as a young adult. I can't remember the name but, she had an empty-headed sister who caused hilarity to ensue. Then, she retired from show biz. What actors ever retire? They stop getting work all the time but, who retires? I could google but, she's gotta be early twenties. Had she made so much dough she quit to raise kids and have a normal life?

I don't know what happened to her. I cheated and took a look at Wiki and her retirement was short-lived. She un-retired a month or so later. We all know that child stardom is a weird way to grow up. Many get ripped off by parents/managers and, one day you're not the Beaver any more and Hollywood discovers that's all you were really good at, as it turned out. Drugs and drinking might ensue.

Former Cub great, Mark Grace, was in the news today too. He drives like Amanda does. He used to drive balls all over Wrigley Field  not that long ago, a damn good contact hitter who rarely struck out. He had the strength to hit home runs which is what first basemen are generally paid to do but, he hit for average and drove in runs. I prefer that to 30-40 homers and 150 strikeouts. WGN cameras used to catch him sneaking smokes when the Cubs were in the dugout. Gracie, as we all called him, is a *guy*. He had a beautiful wife who left him for actor Ray Liotta of "Goodfellas" fame. The tramp wanted to be an actress herself but, that didn't happen.

Grace was already in trouble for one DUI and his latest was compounded by his not having a DUI lockout device on his ignition. There may be some jail time for this. It's a damn shame.

Both these people were once in the spotlight and shone brightly, in their time. No surprise though that once one is famous for having formerly been famous, life might be a bit weirder, a little tougher to handle. My heart goes out to anyone who has a drug or alcohol problem. It truly does not discriminate amongst the social strata's. I wish them both well. If nothing else- stay home and drink or call a cab when you go out. Gracie is retired from baseball and currently suspened from his job as a color man for the Arizona Diamondbacks where he wound up his career. I hope he can return to that next season. I hope Amanda can rebound and be the actress I once thought she might be. The role of troubled partygirl  belongs to Lindsay Lohan, another cute kid who had trouble adjusting to the grownup stuff. Welcome to our world...

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Porn Flakes

The word is that Mitt Romney will eliminate pornography- America's Pastime- if elected president. He talked about this as much as he discussed Afghanistan at the recent GOP convention in Tampa. This is to say, he didn't mention it at all. But, I don't doubt that a guy who is a Bishop in his church might frown on fellas who polish their bishop...and use pornography for inspiration. I could imagine Rick Santorum getting some kind of position in his administration. Well, I wouldn't imagine him like that. Yikes.

As we've learned from the ladies, a government small enough to fit inside your uterus is a government large enough to control your whole life.

Could Mittens do this? Like it or not, pornography is protected by the first Amendment. It may not have been what the founders had in mind at the time but, neither were fully-automatic weapons when they wrote the Second Amendment.

There's a lot wrong with pornography. It can be very offensive, even to a jaded Ferrerman. It objectifies women, more often than not. It makes sex look ugly, painful and degrading. Some consider that it's good points. Certainly, with the advent of the internet, pornography has accelerated and is far more available to the masses than it was a generation ago. Without installed filters, any child who can log on to a computer can log on to thousands of porn sites. I don't equate Playboy magazine to pornography at all but, the quest to see mere pictures of naked women when I was ten or so was akin to the Lewis & Clark expedition. Oh yeah- we had to do some hunting and trail-blazing. (ironically there was no bush to blaze through then or now, but, I digress...) It was good, clean, youthful fun.

Not now. There is nothing left to the imagination. And, perhaps, nothing taboo short of on-camera homicide. I wonder how long that will hold... 

Even if young boys- and girls- finding out way more than they imagined about sex were not bad enough, the effects on grown men and women is also a concern. It's a question of what might be considered normal or mainstream now that just didn't used to be considered as such.

Back in the day, porn was kinda formulaic: Guy delivers pizza. Girl- or girls- is attracted to him. Clothes come off. There's some oral. Then some intercourse. Maybe that other kind of intercourse. Maybe not. Then, a money shot. Nice enough at the time but, tame. The faces and genitals changed but, the sex stayed pretty much the same for a long time. Sometimes the guy was a cable TV repairman maybe.

Life has accelerated this past generation. Everyone wants more. Look at boxing. There hasn't been a Muhammad Ali since Muhammad Ali and now his skill, grace and bravado has given way to the damn-near gladiatorial UFC. Elbows in the face are fine and respected even when the guy is down. Is that not pornographic in itself? Tons of violence on television but, show a woman's breast- even in the context of feeding a child- and there will be much gnashing of teeth. A very strange progression accompanied by an equally odd regression.

Republicans always seem to want to get extreme about extremes. Voter suppression as a result of microscopic voter *fraud*  is one example. Eliminating pornography would be another. There answer to killing is to arm more people. Yet there answer to porn proliferation would be to make it illegal.

I think much of porn does degrade society. You don't have to look at it but it may effect you just the same .If you are a woman, some men might treat you differently. A man might think a different way about all women when he see's how they are portrayed on the screen. "They're all sluts! Whores!" C-words. There is dirty talk and then there is degrading abuse. It is best to discuss these things beforehand. Many times with women I would change positions to the non-missionary one and be told in a suddenly, frightened voice: "I don't do that!" Well, I wasn't going to do that but, I learned that other men had and do without asking. That's just wrong. Right, fellas, take your own biggest fear about prison and bring it into the bedroom of a legal secretary you just met. Sheesh.

Well, I didn't set out to get graphic here. What adults do in private is their business, even if it's yucky and you wouldn't do it. If you don't like porn, don't watch it. I think Mitt and Santorum and others are missing  that simple fact and the thinking that should follow it. You cannot eliminate porn by abolishing it. You can, however, teach your children that it's rarely what sex or love is about. It is not generally how people should relate to each other. And, yes, ten year old Ferrerman, you would have been too young to look at it.

I'm really glad this technology was not available to my then-young, Ferrerman self. Air-brushed photos of blondes, brunettes and the occasional redhead were as it should be. There was imagination and then anticipation of the real deal and all it's glory. And, honestly, it was never disgusting.

If one is going to stand by the sanctity of the Second Amendment, you damn well must consider the sanctity of the one the founders saw fit to put first. It is the one that gives you the freedom to think, speak and feel and raise children free to do the same because it is the one that makes America great.

Educate- don't eradicate.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

May I Poll You?

Recently,republican voters in Ohio and North Carolina were asked whether Barack Obama or Mitt Romney  had more to do with the killing of Osama Bin Laden. Kind of a stupid question if you ask me but, they didn't as I am neither a republican or a resident of those jerkwater states. Fifteen percent said Mitt Romney. Forty seven percent weren't sure and thirty eight percent must read newspapers- they picked Obama.

Now, the 15% can sorta kinda be forgiven because they are hard-line, partisan assholes who believe that believing in anything is OK if you're trying to depose a Kenyan dictator who, as Andy Borowitz pointed out is the crappiest socialist ever because the Dow just hit a four year high. So, fuck them. Just don't ask them if they enjoyed it

The 47% really bother me. They are too smart to be dedicated to partisan idiocy but, too stupid to know who is president right now and who wants to be. They weren't sure so, they said...they weren't sure. Fuck them, too. Don't ask though because they don't tell.

These people evidently vote. It's very disconcerting. With recent republican efforts in several states to suppress voting, shouldn't they perhaps begin at home by staying at home and shutting up?

It's amazing seeing polls like this and reading insane comments on the threads and elsewhere on the 'net. Seeing Mitt Rmoney regularly misuse Obama's 'you didn't build it' comment illustrates how willfully ignorant he is and how he uses that ignorance to give the GOP seal of approval to their mass idiocy. I think he may be a secret Muslim himself as, somewhere in the Koran it says it's OK to lie to infidels. The GOP takes that to mean: "As long as those infidels are your own".

There are people who think it's a good idea to bring back the poll taxes, guessing games and other tests used in the South prior to Civil Rights. Others also say only landowners should vote. And you know, since this Great Recession was *caused* by people forcing banks to lend them money for homes they couldn't afford...we better severely restrict home ownership while we're at it. Yes, I have seen these sentiments A LOT. And these sentiments come from people who believe Mitt Rmoney had more to do with the killing of Osama Bin Laden that the actual president or, they are just not sure. It would seem they could cut to the chase, declare their idiocy and refuse to vote. Instead, they try to restrict the voting rights who probably don't expose their idiocy in polls or polling places.

There's 300+ million people in this country. Not everybody gets *it* and that is exaggerated when you get into the high numbers. Think of your classroom in school or a meeting at work. Everyone hears the same message as you but, when it's over, how many of your peers are standing there, lost, and wondering: "Wait- what are we supposed to do?" That's life. It is what it is. Not everybody *gets* life either.

Roughly 50% of registered voters vote and that varies from election to election. Fifty six percent turned out in '08 compared to 55% in '04 and 50% in '00. You'd think that in a country that, according  to all press releases is "THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD!!!" that the percentage would be higher. Maybe twice as high! Hell no- THREE TIMES AS HIGH!! 100% would tie us with Australia and North Korea. No one wants that. We can do better!

But, instead of trying to out do them, we are trying undo ourselves. No small surprise that republicans are behind it. When you wind up running a Rmoney after a parade of comedian's dreams like they had in their primaries, you better cheat just to make it close.

But, cheating now only leads to more cheating in the future. Any idiot today who wants to curtail likely democratic voters this year is curtailing his own children's future voting rights, if not his own. They just don't understand that. The mob will turn on you. They're a MOB for chrissakes! It's what mobs do.

"First they came for the trade-unionists..."

Not a fucking thing has changed since Martin Niemoller first noted how the Nazis rose to power. They are still trying to get you to think it's your idea to screw yourself. Well, that's according to a recent poll of Ferrermen who describe themselves as bottom-spankers so, ya know, consider the source...

Found this adter I posted:!


Thursday, September 13, 2012

Forget it, Ferrerman, it's Topixtown

A few weeks ago I actually got around to taking almost all of the Topix threads on my tracker. There were some that were weeks old and seemingly abandoned and some I just couldn't bear to keep up with any longer. I still post and still lurk a bit but, neither my heart nor my head is in it anymore. Being unable to hide with an Illinois ISP, I've made a few unregistered posts when I could not resist. Ferrerman is as Ferrerman does. And, of course, I'm posting with nice people on my friend's thread. That is the one nice aspect of Topix, the exchanging of jokes and thoughts about life.

The lurking is interesting. Until you step aside from tragedy, do you ever really understand it? When you are entrenched in the chaos, you cannot fully understand how silly it is, how futile. How vulgar. On one forum, a guy is having a typical meltdown. Well, on every forum someone is having a meltdown. That's Topix! They rely on the thousands of mentally unbalanced people who call it home to periodically break down. This generates posts ten fold. I always did kinda speed read most threads, just getting the gist of what was going on, to see if I was interested. There's a somewhat *political* thread I used to be on that is, of course, same old same old. A few decent liberals post there and reichtards combat them with threats, epithets and the almost true fact that gas was cheaper when GW Bush left office than it is now. I look at it. Same shit. Occasionally one of the libs will make a post that I would like to back them upon but, I resist the temptation, knowing who they are dealing with. Mind you, the libs are making TONS of good points but, some are more  poignant than others. When those points are countered with the usual blather about 'socialism/marxism/yadafuckingyada, you just blow it off and wonder why you ever bothered. It's mind-numbing nonsense.

I don't need these people. I knew that. They need me.

I don't know if they understand that.

I left a couple of grayboxed "Chinatown" quotes this morning on a thread to amuse myself and anyone who might be a fan of the film. Like the title of this piece, they fit.  Like the film, Topixtown is full of layers of deceit. It can be a real mystery. I have to admit that was appealing at first. "Who are these crazy fuckers?!"

But, when after nearly four years you are still asking yourself who these crazy fuckers are, it's long time past since closing time. When someone links a post from five years past where the *brother and sister twins* first meet, and they don't come off of that lie, you really have to question nearly every poster on the site. They didn't take the opportunity to claim separation at birth, now did they? And when the *brother* fancies himself the absolute word about who is who amongst the posting crowd, you really have to doubt absolutely everything he claims. Well, I already knew that as he regularly deemed me to be avatars and grayboxes that I knew I wasn't. But, of course, he would reply, (I) would say that, wouldn't (I)?

Who bothers to pretend to be brother and sister twins? Why??? I don't know. I don't want to know. There is no good reason for such duplicity. None whatsoever. You toss in gender-duplicitous posters and you really have to wonder who is what as well as who.

One of the fake twins friends is regularly accused of being a man. I used to private message her. Yikes! Thankfully I never talk dirty in PM's so, I'm still chaste. For the record, I'm pretty sure she's a she even though the bro-twin confirmed it. YIKES! She reads like a woman. I lived in New Orleans for two years. You need to be certain of lady parts before you get down to business. I've got both an eye and an ear for the ladies. Interestingly, it was a PM from another poster that prompted me to message her. I had made one innocuous post to a woman(?) who, right out of the box, wanted to have "cybersex". I felt bad for her and asked the other girl to run interference for me as they were friends. I already felt the other girl was a decent and liberal poster, with a good heart. And I had read enough of the messager to know she was damaged and fragile. She was probably female in real life but, when you think about it, who leaps into dirty talk from Jump Street? Usually desperate dudes. I did not care to take a big chance at the high school dance with a *missy* who was ready to play...

Gender bending aside, obviously we all know the internet is full of liars. Fake war hero's. Fake millionaires. Fake political allegiances. Even- fake Ferrermen! YIKES! If you can't tell I am a real Ferrerman, you haven't been paying attention. So, if you want a little bit of reality in your virtual world, be vewy, vewy cahful...

Really what got me in the end was various people depending upon me. Some people get obsessive, it seems. It's not a stretch to say that some people lived and breathed Ferrerman. Quite likely, they thought of me when they woke up in the morning, before they passed out at night and even every moment in between. This is very disconcerting whether one is a Ferrerman or not. Grayboxing helped a bit as it kept Ferrerman off the Offbeat index but, stalkers will find you anyway. Worse, they'll think they found you under another avatar or graybox name. And the fake twin will *confirm* it...

Some people actually leave Topix in disgust. Many just change profiles though and maybe try to stay away from trouble. But, I am Ferrerman. I don't care to be anyone else longer than it takes to make a timely graybox post a la Chinatown references. I won't be run off by stalkers who call me names including my real ones. I'd complain but, Topix depends on these assholes to run up the post count for advertising revenue and there is a very good school of thought that many of these very assholes work for Topix. Yes, the inmates probably are running the asylum. A Ferrerman chatting with largely real people on "A" thread probably won't earn some asshole a bonus.

I don't tell people in real life that I post on Topix. I'm not proud of it. I would not recommend it to anyone. Still I have no shame for being there. It helps to have no shame! The general anonymity promotes that. These assholes can be assholes because very few people actually know who they are. There's little doubt in my mind that they are as sociopathetic (sic) in their real lives as they are on Topix. NO doubt. Hey- it keeps them off the streets. That's not a bad thing...

Ferrerman felt he had never slept in a better bed.

Saturday, September 8, 2012


I watched both conventions and have to say that one was riveting, with intelligent, passionate speakers who showed much love and hope for America and the other had an old man talking to a chair.

There really was a difference. I've always known this but the conventions high-lighted  the wide chasm between the two parties. The GOP was a gathering of mostly politicians talking about how wonderful they were. It was rather obvious that they didn't spend a lot of time singing the praises of their candidate, Willard Rmoney. Very telling too in that they, like us, don't really like him. Rmoney's wife, Ann, likes him so she was given the tall and unusual order of trying to convince all of us to like him too. Yikes. As a nation we can assume that the guy's wife likes him. We should be hearing from his confederates that they like him and we should too. That's not the message I heard. Chris Christie, the Governor of New Jersey and the Supreme Commander of The Golden Corral buffet, seemed to be auditioning for the 2016 nomination for the GOP. There is a school of thought that he would like Rmoney to lose this time so that he would have a far better chance after Obama fixes everything. If Mittens wins and does the horrible job it sure looks like he will, no republican would have a chance in '16. So much for pushing the 'hire and fire' agenda like the presidency is baseball or any other sport. If Rmoney does 'okay' and people buy the 'it was Obama's fault' that will again be the party platform in '16, Rmoney will get four more years and Christie will be shut out for EIGHT years and probably dead of a heart attack. I'm not being mean- he's a tub of cholesterol. You wouldn't believe he could run a marathon in three days, would you?

So, they trotted out other potential '16 challengers like Marco Rubio and even Jeb Bush. For the record, I think Jeb would have been a fine choice in 2000. We quite likely would have not had a 9/11 and the ensuing wars and that's probably why he wasn't their choice. That aside, I do not think it's good for the country for a family to have three of it's members as presidents. Sounds too much like a monarchy to me. They...had to kill two Kennedys to prevent this. Had Hillary prevailed in '08, we would have had a stretch of Bush's and Clinton's for a possible 7 terms, 28 years. As much as I like Bill and Hillary, that's a presidential pattern that probably wasn't in the founding father's plans and shouldn't be. I would back Hillary in '16 but, I don't think she'll run. She's served her country well already. All things being equal, we're owed another Clinton. I don't think Michelle Obama will run either, as the cable pundits have tossed around. I think she wants to get back to a normal life with her husband and children after '16. Would you blame her?

Julian Castro looks good in '16. So does Deval Patrick. Russ Feingold would be excellent. How about Jennifer Warren? Notice the pattern of diversity there? A Latino, a Black man, a woman and a Jew. No, that's not the opening line of a joke involving parachutes. That is a representation of the populace, of the 98%, something the GOP doesn't really provide, Rubio aside.

It was similar with the two audiences. All the races were well represented in Charlotte while the crowd in Tampa definitely needed some sun. The camera didn't have to look hard to find a black or Latino face in Charlotte. The GOP stationed a black attendee right behind the Rmoneys.

Also MIA in Tampa was George Bush. Didn't you laugh a little nervously when Jeb Bush said: "I love my brother..." his voice trailing off as if he were about to add "but..."? Other than Jeb, no one much mentioned GW. Pretty glaring. Pretty obvious. The party line (later) was that  he had fully retired from public service and yada-freaking-yada and out of the spotlight. But, ya know they just didn't want to remind the country that their guy fucked everything up. That's the democrat's job anyway. You know those donkeys- they never forget! Also MIA was the darling of the '08 convention, Sarah Palin. It was cute the other day on FOX when, after John Kerry made a funny about her, Sarah wondered aloud: "How does he even know my name?" Well, saying dumb shit like that is one reason...

I was quite inspired by the DNC and all the speakers. I pay a bit of attention to politics and pretty much know what is going on. I can read a map and I know my compass so, I know not to trust republicans for directions. I only ask so I can determine where they think I should be going. That's politics. You have to know how to get there and how to not get there.

One convention was like an awards show, complete with a Hollywood icon completely out of his element and trying improv comedy.

The other was like a convention. It was about hope and change...and moving forward with the only man of a choice of two who can possibly move the people forward. I'm as convinced of that as I was four years ago. The country should be too. I cannot believe that this race is as close as it is.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Are you better off than you were 4 years ago?

Well, four years ago there wasn't a billionaire asshole, wannabe president lamely asking if I and we were better off now than we were four years ago.

A better question might be: why the hell does a billionaire asshole want to be president?

I don't know about why that guy wants to be president. He's retired and living off investments from offshore accounts that pay him like $40 million a year so, he doesn't need the $400k a year the job pays. It's kinda interesting that, as unfathomable as Rmoney's wealth is, men that have MORE money than him, want him to be president. I've long felt that, like the neighborhood tough guy, no matter how bad he thinks he is, there is someone tougher around the block somewhere.

It's a stupid question. If Rmoney makes it four years and a DAY, it's the Bush administration and he doesn't want to go there. He and the republicans have a tall order in trying to convince American voters that Barack Obama totally screwed up the economy all by himself. Like- there was no George Bush. Obama took Bill Clinton's surplus and blew it on two wars that he started and tax cuts for George Soros and George Clooney, plunging the country into the worst recession since the great depression. They still might say that. Remember that you read it here first.

Reagan was semi-famous for asking about the four years when he ran against Jimmy Carter. And I'm certain he stole it from someone else. Rmoney isn't very original either. Frankly, he could paraphrase Reagan's 'tear down that wall' quote and republicans would wildly cheer him saying: "Mr Obama- tear down that wall!"

What wall? Who fucking cares? It doesn't matter. These are the people who really believe that the president believes no one built their business. They believe he wants to take all the money that rich people have and give it to poor people. They believe he said this himself.

Here's the thing about that- if he takes from the rich and gives to the poor (like Dennis Moore) then the poor become the rich and the rich become the poor and he has to re-distribute the wealth all over again...again and again and again...

If we learned nothing from Stevie Winwood and Traffic, we learned this:

"If I gave you everything that I owned and asked for nothing in return
Would you do the same for me as I would for you?"

Think about that. Get stoned first if you want to. Notice the cyclic pattern?

Then ask Mitt Rmoney if HE is better off than he was four years ago.

He is. All the rich guys are. None of them are down to their last million. ALL have flourished in this recession. The rich always do.

He's not a people person and won't be one until Soylent Green is actually made from people.

And you can take that to your offshore bank!

Saturday, September 1, 2012

This just in: Good IS evil!

In the Bizzarro World that is the threads, because I am a supporter of the president, I am an anti-American hater. How 'bout that! Weird huh? I'm the guy that wants good things to happen to America and that makes me- A TERRORIST!

You see, where I go wrong is in my not realizing that if good things happen with Obama as president, his socialist/muslim communist agenda makes America more fascist. A real American would be against that. Duh.

Well, Topix is a silly, unnatural world. Thank God we don't have anything equivalent in the real world!

Except for the republican party, we don't. Yeah, that's all.

In the threads it may just seem to be only me that supports the president but the country as well. In the real world, there are tens of millions of us! We're still commie/anti-American/fill-in-the-epithets/yada-fucking-yadas but, I'm not alone at least.

It's different in the threads where anonymous people with multiple avatars and stupid names mock the president, root  for terrorists (to survive until  a time when a republican president can bravely give the order to get him) and even pray for natural disasters to be more un-naturally disasterous in order to...take back America...

It isn't just in Topixtown that people rejoice in Chicago gangs killing each other "...because that's where HE is from..." Wait- Obama or Ferrerman? Doesn't matter. We're inter-changeable these days. The point is that there are people who see gang killings as political victories. The cops see them as essentially about drugs and/or territory but, what do they know?

I read the other day that we are in "The Post Truth Era" in America. I take it that this will be a period where the truth is relative to what one is willing to believe. It'll be kinda like the Bible, I guess. And, if you stick to your story like the repub's are doing with OBAMA closing the Janesville GM plant (before he took office...) then you've achieved a certain level of truthiness where, well, close enough. It'll be like Little League where everybody gets a trophy because they tried to tell the truth. Well, they showed up. The Truth was somewhere there and they got close to it. The little darlings tried and they were just so cute...

Yikes. Evidently, Clint Eastwood wasn't a rambling, possibly senile embarrassment the other night at the convention. He was an American icon- a hero- telling it like it is! To think anything else is to hate America! HE OWNED THE FUCKING ROOM! HE MADE PERFECT SENSE!

Yikes again. It's cute when 'the little darlings' are my self-appointed enemies in the threads and they defend every stupid thing every republican has ever said or done by calling me an idiot or a faggot or telling me to do things that Clint Eastwood hears chairs telling him to do. It's not cute when these people are not only actual voters but representatives of others in this country. YIKES.

We are through the looking glass, indeed, when Ferrerman AND the president are getting trolled.

Ferrerman's got your back, OBAMA/BIDEN 2012! We'll take this country back from the trolls. We're both pretty good at this troll-fighting stuff....


UPDATE: A friend posted the following on Facebook, after I posted this piece. First thought was: "Florida? Not surprised....wonder which troll it was....