Casting Call!

I was watching the "AMC CELEBRATORY 1 MILLIONTH SHOWING OF 'HIGH PLAINS DRIFTER'" yesterday and wondered whatever became of the midget who played Mordecai, the character that Clint made sheriff of Lago. I often cast movies about my life in my head and I thought the diminutive actor would be an excellent choice to play "Little Jimmy" if I ever got around to making a movie about my former career at Ratmo Construction LLC.

Well, I've got IMBD on speed-dial here and I learned that the actor, Billy Curtis, died in 1988, at the age of 79. So, he won't be available. This is too bad because my other choice, Leon Rippy (who played John Billings in "The Patriot" with Mel Gibson) is too tall though he is the spittin' image of Little Jimmy. He even has the cackling giggle that Little Jimmy has. Casting is tough. I may never get to the actual filming at this rate.

I may have mentioned Little Jimmy was a rat bastard. He had his moments and was really quite entertaining when he wanted to be. His older brother had been in a band in the very early sixties and Jimmy himself had some keyboard talent. Evidently he had toured with George Jones doing something, at some point in his life.

Once, the paint crew had done something slightly bad and no one was willing to fess up. I was pretty new to the crew and so Jimmy decided to try and make me an outcast by asking me to snitch in front of the guys.

"I'll ask Ferrerman. Ferrerman won't lie to me!"

Oh, I don't want to have to start now, I replied.

That was the end of that Inquisition.

Little Jimmy once had me and Dell Winston paint the wrong building. Twice! I never got to the bottom of this one as there was a huge cover up but, a few days after we completed the job, Dell and I were separately driving past and saw an other company painting the building. I so wanted to stop and find out what was going on but, I had more important things to do that day. It wouldn't have been the first time someone jumped the gun and began a job that had been bid on but not quite finalized. Little Jimmy was a poor leader. More often than not, you'd roll up on a job for the walk through, inquire about how much time you had to do it and Jimmy would reply that it 'needed to be done last week...' Now, part of that is Poor Management 101, where you always push your employees unnecessarily so they never, ever get complacent and always, always hurry. But, with Little Jimmy, I think it was that plus having a memory as short as he was.

I could see him waddling into the office, jumping up on a chair,  after being called on the carpet and declaring that Ferrerman and Winston were rouge painters, going about town, painting whatever they goddamned felt like! Honestly, at Ratmo, that might well have sufficed. Someone always had to be blamed and punished. I could tell you stories...

More likely though, since Jimmy had control over our time sheets, the building in question never officially existed. Our time was likely paid for on another job, one we had never visited. It was typical to charge the customer for labor that wasn't performed to make jobs that were 'in the hole' look less holey. Ratmo was the Bandini and Lambert of construction. There were many jobs I 'worked' on that I never saw.

Though Little Jimmy did indeed have a personal grudge against me, he also had a grudge against the world. Many guys who are five foot nothing do. To be Ferrer to me, I didn't start with the short jokes and other abuse until I realized I had nothing to lose nor gain with this little motherfucker. With some exceptions, I don't start with people. They start with me. Often, they regret it.

I just hate being sand-bagged. That was Little Jimmy's favorite technique. As I mentioned, Ratmo wanted only to place blame. Back then, at least, they had no official status as "foreman" on a job as most big-time construction outfits do. At Ratmo you were more of a designated whipping boy for whatever went wrong. You didn't get more money for this. There was a sort of a carrot on a stick that it mightcould lead to fortune and fame but, don't count on it. Being good- damn good- at your job is trumped by being lazy AND a fuckin' rat. I promise you this is true. It's not peculiar to construction alone but, some people are so useless, they have got to be in charge. See GW Bush.

Anyway, I did a 400,000 square foot food storage warehouse for them and I fucking killed the job. The client was thrilled. The GC was thrilled. Everyone was happy but Little Jimmy. About six months later I found out that "I" had gone $2 grand over budget on labor and the same on materials. The latter is nothing considering changes and the fact that a guy who never lifted a brush in his life is estimating the job. Plus, there's Ratmo's accounting techniques... But, labor? I had ZERO control over that. I reminded Little Jimmy that HE had been the one calling me every day to TELL ME that various deadbeats would be showing up to my job to eat up the clock. I neither wanted them nor needed them. Little Jimmy would not budge. I was seriously mad and thisclose to setting him on a five gallon bucket and fighting him, as I had threatened to do a few hundred times. Four or five good men can out-perform a dozen any day. If you load up a job, the lazy one's see that the good one's are doing the work and they wander off and hide. It's sub-human nature to do this and was ALWAYS the case at Ratmo. I brought Little Jimmy's assertion up to his boss, Hugh Djork, who was the VP's idiot brother and, thus, the Supervisor.

Hugh informed me that he had been studying that for six months... He hadn't quite figured it out yet though...

Sheesh, I hate stupid people. Joe Sausage, the owner of Ratmo is a millionaire. If he didn't love stupid people so much, he'd be a multi-millionaire. He once retired from day to day operation of the company only to return the next year when business dropped $200,000. He was livid. I'm sure someone explained to him that the painters left 10 minutes early one day and, well, there ya go.... I'm also sure he accepted that but figured there might be a bit more to it, just the same. Joe Sausage thinks he resembles the actor, Harrison Ford. I don't think I'll be calling Ford's agent anytime soon though. He'd probably send the film over budget  and just phone the job in anyway.