Back in the day....I invented the Waitress Protection Program.
Well, OK, I named it. There had been gentlemen before me and after me, it's just that none of them were Ferrermen with a playful, creative streak.
The restaurant/bar business usually involves late hours, some cash and often crazy ex-boyfriends/spouses. The place I worked was actually a safe, suburban neighborhood but, as we all know, bad things can happen anywhere, anytime. And parking was such that you might have to walk a block or two to your car. The WPP was a service all us guys performed for any waitress who asked. If a woman was having trouble with an ex, a bartender or cook would see them safely to their car. I don't recall any waitress getting jumped by her ex on our watch so, it must have worked. And for one couple, Steve and Lynn, it helped romance blossom. Steve was built like a brick wall- literally all cinder blocks and rebar on a concrete foundation with a brick venneer that the diminutive Lynn saw through easily. Nice couple. And, OK, Steve just worked out and was actually flesh, bones etc. (I'm working here- give me some license!)
I've seen gentlemen take up for ladies in the threads and it's rarely pretty, nor does it end well. You get a bunch of imaginary people going at it on the internet and things are bound to go crazy. No gentleman wants to sit passively at his keyboard while some misogynist asshole screams "bitch! C-word! Whore!" at a woman but, there's nothing but bandwidth between you and the fuckin' pussy so, what are you gonna do? The internet tough guy act is so easy a caveman could do it. I don't know why guys bother. It almost always exacerbates the situation.
The other night, however, I had grown tired of one jerks dismissal of some of my female posting friends as "whores, prostitutes, hookers, dykes" and other unfriendly adjectives. My friends can take care of themselves. Quite well, actually. These are grown women who, though undeserving of such vitriol, can "take it" and dish it out far better than their opponent. You know, if you start cussing people out on the internet, you've already lost the battle and the war. As well as any self respect you may have claimed to once have.
If a dude claims to have been a combat Marine...and a Christian...and a loving husband and father....how does he rationalize spewing filthy invectives at a woman, IRL or on the internet?
Well, in the name of conservative politics, of course! Who knew? Liberal women are, it seems, "hookers" for democratic party ideals, he later explained. He simply meant that they prostitute themselves to a cause that is so evidently destroying the country he fought for in Viet Nam while in gradeschool. Thus, he's a patriotic warrior of sorts.
Sheesh. The dude had actually 'cleared a path' for this internet fight, asking others to 'step aside' because I had wondered if he spoke to his real life wife in this manner. I'm guessing he anticipated that I would then call his woman bad names because, she has claimed to be a democrat in the past.
Well, that wasn't gonna happen. I already knew that I didn't talk to liberal women that way. I just wondered aloud if he did. You know- the ol', "do you kiss your mother with that mouth???" Very effective. He had claimed he had a PHD in USMC trained 'psych ops'. I guessed he had missed the class where, lacking internet killing capabilities, you have to know not to get locked in a corner by your adversary who is an accomplished painter who knows, you always paint your way out of the room, especially if you are painting a floor. On the internet, Painting 101 trumps Psych Ops.
Lacking sufficient skills in the gentlemanly art of internet combat, my adversary was easily defeated, left to only explain his vitriolic rampage by proclaiming his enduring love and respect for his wife who- by the way- would rather be with him than Ferrerman any day. The things couples discuss in the bedroom! Oh my....
He also later apologized to the woman he had most recently called a whore.
*******
He had never slept in a better bed, Ferrerman decided.
2 comments:
Another blogger tried to stand alone against a bunch of loons. I had to go check out the right winger nut's site that he tried to reason with, and I nearly puked. They now feel the need to attack a blogger who really tried to reason with them. He can't and I know he feels bad, but I can't tell him it's a losing battle.
I'm not sure what women you are 'protecting' but I'm guessing they/she can handle the creeps just fine, but it's good you've got her back, jack. : )
Well, that's just it- I'm NOT protecting these women. They can more than handle these knuckleheads on their own. Back in the day, the likelihood of violence against the waitress staff was real. On Topix, they're safe. I was really trying to protect that idiot from himself lest he have a heart attack from all the vitriol running through his veins. Actually, more often than not, one of these ladies is being a hero to ME, protecting me from those who have anti-Ferrerman sentiment and desiring to make me cry. That's what friends do- they look after each other. All my liberal womenfriends can go toe-to-toe with anyone. And that they happen to do it with class, makes me proud. I should also add that they are not getting paid for their liberal thoughts. They give it away. The sluts.....
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