How YOU doin'?

There is a video making the internet rounds where an attractive woman walks around NYC while a camera surreptitiously records the visual and oral responses of the men she encounters.The video is called: "Ten Hours Of  Walking in NYC As A Woman." It does a great job of illustrating what it can be like for a woman in the big city and gives a pretty good indication of what hopeless jerks most men are and why it's so hard to get laid when you are an idiot. The woman in the video is silent throughout so it's just her walking and all the fellas doing the talking.

I don't think that for most men that catcalling is a means to the seductive end. I see it as a backlash to the lifetime of cumulative rejection that most men experience. Most guys know that the attractive woman passing by likely has zero interest in them. No chatting. No quickie in the alley. No church and children, 'til death do we part. So, with all that off the table, why not compliment a woman on dat booty?

I worked with a guy named Earl who was like that. He was a waiter and I was a bartender at the PCNO club in New Orleans and we were between shifts and asked the boss if we could go around the corner and catch a couple beers. In New Orleans this is perfectly acceptable behavior. We had the bosses blessing and his admonition to not get drunk.

Earl wasn't a catcaller but, I learned quickly that he had a very annoying, stupid habit of stopping every reasonably attractive woman on the street to chat her up. He'd compliment them on their blouse or their eyes and yada-yada and I quickly determined that it could take the rest of the fucking day to get around the corner if I waited on Earl so, I abandoned him. He knew where to find me. And when he did, I asked him if his technique had ever worked.

No, it had not. However, he added, if it were to work one time in a thousand, it would be worth it!

Sheesh, them's some odds.... And yes, he said, even if that one success was a rather unattractive woman it would still be victory.

Earl was about my young age and also had a full beard as I did at the time. I remember a few times chatting up new waitresses at the Club and having them stop me and ask if I were Earl or Ferrerman. I'd introduce my Ferrerman self and they would smile. There was a big difference between myself and Earl and after that, I shaved off the beard to make that difference even more noticeable.

It wasn't that I was more successful with the ladies than Earl (of course, I was) than it was about our different approaches to women, regardless of the circumstances. Guys like Earl- guys on the streets of NYC- have a volume-Volume-VOLUME approach to women and it shows. In a sense, they really let themselves be picked by the woman in that they throw themselves out there like buckshot, hoping one pellet hits the target. When it does- BULLS EYE! It's really the lottery approach in that you understand you can't win if you don't play so, you buy lots and lots of tickets. And maybe you match three numbers and *win* $3. I've known Greeks and other eastern Europeans who feel that they are just not doing their jobs as men unless they proposition every woman they meet. They think they are being charming and, if it works...OOPA!

So, there is an element of nothing ventured, nothing gained but I think it's more of a lack of respect for women in general and their own manhood in particular. There's a lot of fear at work there and it's being passed on to random women on the street. These are fellas who have given up. They just don't know it yet.

The last time I saw Earl, girlfriend and I were on the streetcar and Earl and his buddy were with their dates. Earl acknowledged us but looked as if he wished he were anywhere else in the world. His friend was with a lovely, age-appropriate young lady and Earl seemed to be with her mom. I guessed his approach had finally worked.