As it turns out...

Oops! A couple of days after I wrote about ArtGal's cancerous demise, I found out she was not at all quite dead after all.

Really, this wasn't that much of a surprise. I had dallied for several days in writing about her death because I just wasn't feeling it. I knew something wasn't kosher. I hate to have to write because it feels like school. So, I wrote it from the safe perspective that ArtGal  really was dead even if Andrea wasn't.

Though uneven because of her suffering from truthiness issues, she was an enjoyable poster. We knew she had lied in the past about her personal life. Well, that's Topix! Strangers on the internet don't need to know about your personal life but, you don't need to tell them you're a retired FBI secretary from the Behaviour Analysis Unit(!) unless you, well, need to. I have a knack for remembering details that people express about themselves. When these details change, I wonder why. It's usually because these people are fucking liars. We all know people like this In Real Life. If you think the internet is clogged up with fake Vietnam vets, you should work construction! You can't swing a hammer without hitting one! And then you want to swing that hammer again! Liars, folks, are everywhere! I am not making that up.

So, the internet, in that respect and so many others, is just like real life. My disgruntled friends I know from the 'net wonder how Ferrerman can't put up with these death-fakers and phoney vets and general fucking liars. It's easy! Here's how:

I don't actually know these motherfuckers. That makes a huge difference. The comfort zone of the internet is pretty nice. I've worked alongside these psychos in real life. Posting with the Sam's and the Oki's and Beckies and Angelique770's is much safer than actually walking among them. You don't have to watch your back. In real life if you are a Ferrerman and someone comes to every morning, and their entire day is dedicated to trying to destroy Ferrerman, it's a scary proposition! But, if you are a Ferrerman and someone comes to every morning and their entire day is dedicated to destroying Ferrerman's internet life, then it's just Thursday. Just a day like any other day.

It's interesting that a whole bunch of people who mourned ArtGal, all went looking for an obituary that they kinda sorta knew wasn't going to be there. Everyone saw the red flags. Internet liars are just like real life liars in that they can't remember their own bullshit. Most people can keep track of whether they are married or not and the number of kids they have. You'd think that would be important on the internet given that everything is written down (so to speak) but, you'd be wrong. It's perfectly acceptable, for example, to have a twin on the internet, even after someone finds a thread where you tell your twin that she'd really like your mom and should meet her some day.... Twins are very common on the internet. Soap operas too, I hear.

And, like soap operas, characters get written out of shows and sometimes that involves death. Most people get fed up with Topix and just quit posting and leave. Many get disgusted with it and re-register as another profile just to get away from the jerks they wound up posting with. Fake-dying is relatively rare but, it does happen enough to be too much. ArtGal evidently dragged out her cancer for like six years. At some point it's kill or cure, I guess. She was a bit of an attention whore but that had to end.

I don't know why these people continue to fancy themselves as criminal masterminds who have pulled off The Con Of The Century! They are toddlers, covering their eyes and believing that no one can see them. It's the internet! How hard is it to present yourself as anything when no one can see you? DUH!

But, just because everyone doesn't call you a fucking liar doesn't mean they believed your shit and you can be thanking the Academy anytime soon. I know the real life liars do believe they've gotten over on someone when they are not called out on their bullshit. Some of these people are so full of it, we could spend our days calling them out. If they wanna believe we believe they are secret agents- fine. Let's move on, Maxwell Dumb. I've actually had people- posting anonymously- giggle maniacally (I bet) that I don't know who they are! NO SHIT! Topix needs an app where these assholes can post with the letters of each word cut out from different newspapers, in different colors. Sheesh...

So, ArtGal is dead. To me, at least. Andrea lives on and that's fine. It turns out we didn't know each other, after all. I wish some of these other assholes might die off in a literary way. And honestly, if they are in real life as they are on Topix, getting run over by a truck wouldn't be a bad way for them to end their Topix career either...