Programming Note

I fired the show "Undercover Boss" the other night. If you saw one episode, you saw them all. The CEO of a company would disguise him/herself, and using the ironic premise of a reality show, do various jobs in his company and learn about his business vicariously as he interacts with his employees.

Like most reality shows, I had this idea years ago. My take on it though was it would be a good idea to go undercover in a company one might be interested in buying. You could see who works, how productive people are/aren't and what improvements needed to be made before you bought in. The companies I worked for were pretty small and THE BOSS was pretty easy to spot.

 (Having said that, quick story to refute that: Joe Sausage, CEO of Ratmo Construction, LLC (Lousy Lying Cocksuckers) came on the job one day, rather early in my career at his company. He had bonus checks in hand so, though I had never seen him, I had 500 reasons to believe he was who he claimed to be. Two guys on the crew did not. Old Bob told Joe, "You ain't Joe Sausage!" Joe whimsically replied that he was when he woke up that morning. Bob regaled him with a story about working at Joe's house and meeting someone else whom he was certain was Joe Sausage. Joe probably hadn't figured on some three-toothed, old bastard checking ID's as he went about the business of passing out bonus checks so he moved on to the next guy, Jeffery Edlebrock, and introduced himself. Problem with Jeff was that, though he had witnessed Old Bob's exchange with Joe Sausage, he hadn't learned a god-damned thing and, for some reason, thought Joe Sausage might be a cop or a process server. I'm not kidding. When Joe asked if he was Jeff Edlebrock, Jeff replied that he was FREDERICK Edlebrock. Sigh....)

So, suffice to say, in a small company you wouldn't fool too many people for too long. Even in large, nationwide companies, some people on the shows weren't fooled by the *temporary employee* and they saw through the disguise. I'm not so sure they all didn't see through the ruse. I mean, there was a camera crew documenting the *new* guy's  day at your job. And he's asking questions about the company.... And questions about your personal life...  Unless you're Jeff or Bob, you'd see through this pretty quick.

The show was a bit formulamatic. All the employees seemed to have some drama in their personal lives. Well, of course, we ALL do but theirs was usually something expensively heart-wrenching that made me think that maybe- just maybe- there might have been producers behind the scenes picking people with sad stories. I might be jaded though. I was amused too at how inept the boss usually was. How the heck does one found a company without knowing how to do what the company does? You like to think that the CEO of any company can and has done every job in the company but that is usually corporate lip service. Half the time it seems they inherited the company from a hard-working dad who did know every job in his company. Ya know though, parents like to spoil their kids though and it often winds up being a case of, "Here's a company, son, don't lose it!"

I had to wonder too if there wasn't some hidden, corporate agenda afoot here. Were they trying to humanize the one percent? It's pretty obvious that those greedy, motherfucking assholes have been getting a bad rap since they've profited so greatly from this recession and our Socialist/Muslim president pointed out that they ought to pay taxes like the rest of us. So, why not show a CEO mingling with his great unwashed and crying a lot? On any given show, at the wrap-up, the boss is giving the chosen employees @ $20,000 a piece for operations, schooling, vacations etc., whatever makes them happy. He cries, they cry and maybe the home viewer cries too. (I gotta admit I probably teared up a bit as well but then, us well-hung bottomspankers are known for our tender emotions. I just wanna be held...) The idea might be to make people think that things like health care might be best left up to the discretion of the Lord and Master rather than the government. You know, instead of heath care for all employees, why not just pick out one employee and reward them? See, it could be YOU who is chosen. Who doesn't like a lottery?! What are you- Shirley Jackson?!

People do think that way. Not the Shirley Jackson thing (yet) but rather, the notion that, left to their own devices, corporations would provide health care as needed, to those who *deserve it*. Same with wages and benefits. They just don't want these things shoved down their throats by jack-booted, government thugs! In fact, Unions hold workers back! Your boss WANTS to pay you more but, the Union won't let him! That whole "deal's a deal" and that communist, "everybody is the same" crap!  I've actually heard that a lot. Well, "Undercover Boss" does nothing to prove corporate discretion trumps government/societal regulation. Here's the thing: treating your employees right isn't an either/or proposition. You can have your cake and eat it too. Dessert is wonderful but, we all dine at the company table. Undercover Boss does go to show that the boss cannot do it all by himself. Behind every great man.... there are thousands of great men and women. THAT is the reality of this life show.