It was an honor to be nominated.....

I last saw Extremely Blonde Susan where she was waitressing at the Cafe Du Monde, on Jackson Square in New Orleans. She hadn't been a serious girlfriend of mine but I liked her and-well- she was extremely blonde. Good looking too. A young Doris Day comes to mind. I stopped for coffee.

Booty calls hadn't been invented yet (and, no, I didn't invent them) but, I was there for that purpose as well. I knew she had an insane roommate, a self-styled Voo doo Queen who had cast a spell on her involving blowing some powder in her face but, that's New Orleans. Needing a roommate myself, I thought we might unite and conquer, at least for another evening.

Susan wasn't in favor of living with me. I think she could deal with the witch and- let's face it- living together and fucking is kind of a commitment. We were both too young for that Friends With Benefits thing which I also failed to invent that day.

However, she was not at all against having sex with me. She just wanted to be paid for it.

She was looking to get into porn and wanted me to join her. It was magazine porn, of the $20 a book variety. I could make love to her and other women and get paid for it. This would seem to be a Ferrerman's dream. Mere mortal men's too.

I declined, shy I guess. I certainly had portfolio and wasn't that shy but, it sounded too structured and weird to me. I had seen the books. Penetration, cumshots and all but with a whole lot of lighting changes and a director. This was not what I was used to I really don't need third party instruction on how to make love. I don't recall if Susan had turned pro yet or if she even ever went through with it. We lost touch and I never saw her again after that. I think about her every time it snows though....

And I thought about her when I read about a gal who particpated as an extra in one of those "college party sex" things. I had been wondering what kind of money could be made in porn these days when anybody with a camera phone can be a porn producer and anyone with genitals could be a star. The girl wasn't paid and did not participate beyond cheering the actual participants. She said it was a bunch of phoney bullshit. Jenna Jamison might be the last *star* I ever heard of and might be the last mainstream star ever. I don't know- I'm not an expert. I recall reading that old school porn gals could draw lines- no facials, race-mixin,- anal, etc. If you've looked lately, they just must not object to anything! Sheesh- even a jaded Ferrerman is shocked! Back in my non-existant porn day, Extremely Blonde  Susan and I wouldn't have done some of that stuff for money or in the privacy of our homes.

The world has changed. I'm glad there are no pictures of me like that for my (future) or anyone else's grandchildren to see. What are these people thinking?