The Messiah

What if Barack Obama, as the right and even farther right calls him, was actually "The Messiah"?

What if he did actually have magical powers? Let's say, for example, that his mere touch could cure anyone of cancer. Wouldn't that be cool? I'm telling ya, NOBODY could be against THAT!

Who am I kidding? Cancer is like a trillion dollar business. Overnight, oncologists would be out of business. Big Pharma would have to eat billions of now-useless cancer fighting pills. (They don't want to do that- those things make you sick!) Hospitals that employ the doctors, nurses, technicians, orderlies etc. that treat and or help the cancer patients would have a lot less work to do. This could lead to lay-offs and more unemployment. Insurance companies would take a hit too. As would lawyers whose business is based on fighting insurance companies. Funeral homes would suddenly see a lot less dead people. Their business would suffer. More lay-offs. What a nightmare! Gee, now I'm wondering what kind of good could possibly come from curing cancer. It would just ruin the economy is all.

America would fight back though. The real Americans that is- the republicans and tea baggers who know what corporations want and need. People who had never smoked before would suddenly jam full pacts of highly taxed cigarettes in their mouths, light them and puffing away furiously in a heroic bid to get cancer as quickly and patrioticly possible. And, of course, people would refuse to be touched by The Messiah whether they were cancer-ridden or not. Well, the crazy one's would do THAT. The more rational thinkers amongst them would quickly see that Big Pharma, Doctors etc, could rebound with a big push towards something that even a Messiah could not cure: Restless Leg Syndrome.

Not since the heartbreak of psoriasis has America seen a more debilitating- and non-curable- scourge upon our health. I think in about a weeks time it would make "the big C" look like foot fungus. The real beauty of it is, even a so-called "Messiah" can't cure something like that. Because, what exactly IS it?

But, that's neither here nor there. Obama is NOT "The Messiah". Relax folks, he won't be curing cancer anytime soon. This was just a bit of hyperbole to tweak the already frenzied wingnuts, the musings of a Ferrerman on a Sunday morn. I have heard though that he has a carburetor in the wings that converts ordinary tap water to energy. Tests on a blown, big-block Chevrolet have shown an increase in horsepower and mileage in the range of 125 miles per gallon of...water. This will totally end our dependence on foreign (and domestic) oil...

OMG! That will cost the oil companies TRAZILLIONS OF DOLLARS resulting in more job loss, unemployment, we'll never recover...

Sorry. Me being silly again. I wonder if anyone could cure my penchant for hyperbole? I doubt it. It's a pre-existing condition, certainly not covered by any insurance.