Apologies are in order

I am sorry to say that my first blog is about my penis. I never intended for it to be this way.
Through no fault of it's own, my penis has recently become infamous. Perhaps I should explain.

Like a lot of people, I spend too much time on the Tribune Topix threads. I have enjoyed the political bantering at times (though it's getting old fast) but mostly I have found it to be a good and easy outlet for my humor. An Amy or Abby column and the folks who comment on them just absolutely lends itself to comedy. I've "met" and come to "know" a lot of very interesting people on hundreds of Topix threads. I've made one excellent friend whom I wouldn't have otherwise met in life. And, I've made more than my share of enemies. This, of course, is about an enemy.

I've got an on-going "flame war" with this enemy. She portrays herself as a psychologist out of Portland, Oregon. I say portrays because, hey- it's the internet. Be whoever, whatever you want to be. Before the internet, their were (still are) bars where you could meet mafia hit men, minor league ball players and combat heros of various wars. Now there is the internet. Is this woman a psychologist? Probably, might could be. I don't know. Her general contribution to the dilemmas of a Dear Amy thread is "counseling". She spices this with enough jibber-jabber psyhcobabble to make it look like she has an analytical, professional take on things. She uses the people on the threads as "research" which, evidently, manifests itself as stories that she puts elswhere in Topix. She takes people and their statements from various threads and compiles them into these stories. She incorporates favored regulars into these stories, usually as sexy nurses or hunky orderlies. This delineates a pecking order for the regulars. That's a story for another day. But, she posts day and night on the threads and makes me wonder how she makes time for patients. It's not enough for me to dislike her simply because she is pretentious. Being full of herself is no crime. Being mean is.

Several months ago we were on a thread where a guy out west introduced his eight year old daughter to his new "friends" on the net. Ben/Jason was very proud of Alex and her love of science and books. Young Alex was even able to speak of "string theory", a favored topic of mumbo-jumbo stuff of this psychologist.

Young Alex should not have done that! The psychologist was LIVID! Ben/Jason was (at once) a horrible father who used his daughter to troll for women AND who made up said daughter and gave her inconceivable super psychological powers, heretofore unheard of outside of Oregon and middle-aged female psychologists. She questioned every keyboard stroke Ben/Jason/Alex made. His ISP changed during the course of his posts. So, he was trolling. He wasn't using his real name on his posts. Ben referred to Ben Rothlisberger, the Steelers QB and Jason was Jason Bay who plays for the Boston Red Sox. In her view this was outright deception. Imagine THAT on the internet (Note here: my real name is NOT Ferrerman. Let's be clear about that. Okay? Okie dokie).

The other posters weighed in. Some argued that he was a bad father to expose his young daughter to adult strangers on the net. I wouldn't have done it myself with my son but, Ben/Jason helicoptered and proofed the posts, I'm certain. Some joined the psychologist in her take that the kid was fabricated. No 8 year old could be that smart, they argued. It got pretty brutal towards Ben/Jason. Alex, was safely in bed. The discussion went on for too long and he took it all. His response and the back and forth has long since been deleted but, Ben/Jason was clearly hurt by this treatment at the fingertips of his new-found friends. He went away. Whoever he might be now, I don't know. I hadn't much cared for the psychologist before this incident. I despised her afterwards. There was no GOOD reason to mess with this man regarding his child. None whatsoever!

So, how does my penis figure into this? Better still, how could my penis possibly figure into this? I mentioned the Ben/Jason/Alex saga in a recent thread. The embers of a flame war had been smoldering for weeks. I saw fit to fan those flames a bit. It's not mature but, it makes things interesting. And you'll hear me say this again: It seemed like the thing to do at the time...

Good Lord the threads burst into flames! One of her friends hijacked my name and "brokered" a "truce" with my thread name. The idea was, other people would think that I was suing for peace and if I were to post a cross-word afterwards, I would be a disingenuous a-hole. An evil plan but, admittedly, a good one. It was like Sarah Palin repeatedly mentioning William Ayers and noting that Obama "palled around with terrorists". Most of the regulars- the friends of the psychologist- readily accepted my hijacked postings as gospel. Though since dis-proven, some still think: "Well, he WOULD try and say THAT..." You can't "win" in a war like this. The back and forth fans the flames and it gets sillier and stupider until someone decides to drop the big one...

The big one was picture(s) of my penis. I'm not trying to brag... She told her friends that I had e-mailed her picture(s) of my penis. Her gal-pals were disgusted. This cemented their suspicions that I was a sicko-scumbag. That made it official.

Except, I did not do this. I don't know if anyone actually did this. I wrote "picture(s)" because we still haven't determined if she was (allegedly) sent one or several penile pictures or if they were sent at all. To my knowledge, it's still unclear if she shared the photo(s) with her friends or simply told them of the (alleged) pictures. Though we've never met, she was certain that this was the Ferrerman penis or rather, the penis belonging to me as my nom de IRL. Leastways, she reported it as such. No, not to the authorities. She simply reported it to the jury of her peers. To report it to law enforcement would be a dicey proposition possibly leaving her subject to the penal code...in a way she hadn't figured.

There are no know photos of my junior johnson. I've never mailed or e-mailed photos of mine or anyone's penis to anyone for any reason, at anytime. This could be easily proven by the greenest cop or junior D.A. assuming (which I doubt) that anyone sent her a penis picture at all. She needs to put up or shut up.

She won't. She doesn't HAVE to prove her case to anyone right now. The damage has been done and she has what she wanted- the sympathy and support of her minions. If I were to say "prove it" she would say that in her pain and suffering, she preferred to move on a put the horrific incident behind her...

Such is the bullshit of life. My one true internet friend told me just last night: "You can't win with stupid. Stupid has more experience than you".

Ben/Jason/Alex walked away from stupid. I will too. My friend is right. It's the only way to defeat stupid.

UPDATE!

Angelique770 turned out to be a dude named Michael Satterfield. Not sure if any of the dregs knew that then or now. They probably wouldn't be thrilled either way. I long doubted A770 was an actual woman. Played more like a gay dude. The freak is still at it! Sad, but true.