A permanent solution to a temporary problem

Damn. Robin Williams.

It was a shock to hear he had committed suicide. I had known about his depression. It's a given that anyone with a drug and/or alcohol problem has a history of depression. At times I think half the world suffers from depression and other times I'm wondering about people who don't. What's wrong with them? Don't they know how hard life can be?

I'll repeat a story here (as I am wont to do) about the asshole psychiatrist. No, not that one. This was a real one.

Long story short, I was tending bar at the yuppie place downtown and, as I approached two customers at the end of the bar, I hear one say to the other: "If you want to kill yourself, do it. If you don't want to kill yourself, see me."

"So", sezs I, "what can I get you, besides a soul?"

The asshole then explained to me that he was a psychiatrist, as if that justified the lack of compassion. Maybe in his world it did. A lot of them get into the field to find out what is wrong with them from what I've heard. This guy might just have been a dick with a degree to prove it. Beyond my initial witty repartee I don't recall the ensuing conversation verbatim but, the gist of it was that I thought he was a dick and he thought he was a healthcare professional. It wasn't as contentious as you might think it should have been because I can be as deft with live-action trolls as I can be with the internet variety. This guy surely thought he had gotten the best of me. Not in this lifetime.

A lot of people without degrees lack that doctor's compassion for their fellow man and woman. We often hear of suicide as "the cowards way out" and I'm sure some assholes will say that about Robin Williams just as they say it about teenagers who take their lives after failing a test at school or something else seemingly innocuous.

A permanent solution to a temporary problem...

Obviously, it was not a temporary problem with Mr. Williams. He had probably struggled with depression most all his life. No amount of drugs or alcohol could drown that pain. Of course there was therapy, certainly with doctors more qualified than the asshole I served. And he was so fucking funny! How could someone be so funny and so sad? The tears of a clown...You just don't know. Be glad you don't.

But, be glad you asked. It doesn't matter how wealthy, famous or funny a person may be. If depression gets a hold of you, it will grip you tight regardless. For many, like Robin, it's a death grip. For most it's a constant struggle, every fucking day, not to be happy but to maintain. Be glad you asked. Don't ever get so smart that you justify losing your compassion for others.

Hang on to your life. Hang on to your soul. Not everyone can do both.