The first time I ever saw two gay men kissing was several years ago in Memphis. Well, check that- I used to live in New Orleans and probably saw that many times in the Quarter and certainly during Mardi Gras but, I was probably too drunk to notice or care, one way or another. Anyway, in Memphis, a bunch of us were partying on our porch and the gay guy who lived in the house behind us was greeting his new boyfriend. They ran at each other like they were in a meadow, embraced and passionately kissed. I was a bit taken aback.
I was like: "Ohmydayum!!!" Words to that effect. Or affect? I'm never sure...
Whichever, I was a bit shocked. My friends asked what was going on. I told them. I think everyone but Eric's girlfriend, Shelly, knew about the gaybors. Shelly was incredulous. "That hottie? He's gay? No way!" Then, young Shelly declared, "I could change him...."
She was young. Bless her heart, I think she really thought she could. Anyway, I was just caught by surprise. It was unnerving to my decidedly Ferrerman sensibilities but I wasn't angry or disgusted. I just wasn't used to that. Neighborhood busybody, Chris, explained that the guy was kissing his new boyfriend. He noted that the new BF was the one who had been parking in our valuable (to us) rental trash parking spaces until I blocked his car in one day with my truck. I had been expecting a knock on the door, asking me to please move the Ford so he could get out but, amazingly, he was able to maneuver his little SUV out of there. We then surmised that his likely reason for parking in our spots was so the old boyfriend wouldn't see his vehicle in dude's driveway.
So, there you go- gay people are just like straight people in matters of the heart. And probably duplicitous parking too.
Now, women. I've seen thousands of girls kiss and I'm quite fine with that, as you might imagine. Women are soft and cuddly and they generally smell really nice! You probably knew that. And not to get Sublimey here but, it just seems so natural. They seem to take better to it than us fellas.
Waiting for a streetcar in New Orleans one night, I saw two attractive, young women approaching. Suddenly, they stopped, embraced and kissed very passionately. She kissed a girl and I liked it. The power was out and a bus rolled up to take us home. Five or six black teen boys boarded the bus with us. They were very aware of the two young ladies.
"Go on and kiss!" they begged and the girls obliged.
They were coming from the Quarter so, naturally, the girls had been drinking. I kinda doubted they were a couple and, quite likely given their show-womanship, had just picked each other up in a bar. So-yeah, gay people are just like us in their frivolous romancing.
That's the thing. They really are just like us. They have all the hopes and dreams and fears that we do and they can be every bit as goofy as us. In years of tending bar I was annoyed a few thousand times by the total lack of decorum and class displayed by straight couples in public. I used to say: Public Displays of Affection lead to public displays of erections!" Many times they literally did. No one wants to see that. A woman down the street from me used to make out with her boyfriend at the bar, just about 5 blocks from her home, the one with the husband and two kids. No one wants to see that despite the raging heterosexuality of it all. Really, they don't.
But, getting picked by an NFL team in the draft and sharing that joy and a soulful kiss with the man you love. well, why not? I'm sure straight couples have done that on ESPN too. I bet some have kissed their moms. That's kinda Oedipal. Others might have kissed their agents. Who cares? So, gay football players are just like the straight ones too. Now we know. We learn something new every day. That is, when we try.
4 comments:
We have three gay couples we're friends with. Two of them are fortunate to live in states where they were able to get married and we're hoping the third will follow soon, but they just moved to Arizona so....we're not buying a gift just yet.
I think ESPN went overboard showing Michael Sam kissing his boyfriend, but only time-wise and as compared to straight draft picks. I was really happy that they showed their very sweet display of affection toward each other. It must have been quite the novelty for a certain segment of the population.
Our friends (the male couple) live in LA so no one blinks an eye when they kiss, but the women in Boston (and especially Arizona) get some stares. I'm not so sure it's that people are enjoying it so much, but there have to be a few! Those guys in Memphis were brave. Good for them!
Except for Sunday Night Baseball I don't watch a lot of ESPN so I think I got my "kiss scene" on the internet. So, IDK how much was too much but, it was a first, history of sorts and they probably had to run with it. That's journalism! I'd worry about them, and society as a whole, if they didn't show it as the big deal it actually was.
It sure must depend on what part of the country you are in! New Orleans is one thing but Memphis was another. My friends and neighbors on the deck were young and OK with it as well. I was shocked but, not offended. I got over it. In reality, most intelligent, well-adjusted people would, despite what we may read on the internet.
"effect or affect" and the other "accept or except"
I get them confused too.
This is the funny thing about homosexuality - that we are indeed changing AND becoming a more accepting society towards it. When I was young, if you were a grade school teacher and it was discovered you were gay, you'd loose your job. Homosexuals were equated with child molesters. Simple as that.
Then the aids period. My age group started to die - friends - and I remember the cruelty and all that bible thumping. Someone back in 84 wrote across the walls of the art department "got aids? die faggot" I'll never forget how it made my stomach turn. We lost a generation of creative people to that disease.
Anyhow, another great post. Thoughtful. What we see, we began to accept. Wave the rainbow flag!
And, how 'bout the actor- Ben Effleck? Or is it Affleck?
People are realizing that everyone knows someone who is gay, in their own extended families. Like a cousin they grew up with or an aunt or uncle. When it's close to home like that, good people step back and realize that every gay person is somebody's family member. Then, do unto others kicks in so that others will give your loved one the same respect. That's when people realize they are part of the human condition just like anybody else.
All of these little victories add up every day and life gets better for more people. Maybe some people realize it's one less thing to hate and that does them good too.
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