The Ferrerman Solar Energy Plan

PRIVATIZATION!

All solar energy needs is for someone to own it. Same with the Post Office, but that's a story for another day. Fifteen dollars to mail a letter isn't outrageous when you consider that the founders waited weeks for mail that now could be delivered overnight, for $15. The key to everything in America is privatization- someone must profit from every aspect of life, from womb to tomb, or we become communists. No one wants that.

Now, I'm not talking one man like in a Bond film where some albino creates a deathray and threatens to destroy the sun and yada yada. No such melodramatic nonsense. It's not necessary. I'm talking a corporation. It doesn't have to be Exxon. Just someone who knows about energy and how to promote it.

Just get some Congressmen together and, after some money is exchanged, award the rights to the sun to Exxon (or whoever) and then lease it to them, perhaps for one dollar a year. But, only for one hundred years, with an option for one hundred more.

Of course, no one can physically possess the sun. Can't be done. But, they can possess the rights and, in a court of law, that's even better.

The earth, as some may know, revolves around the sun. This means that when it's daytime here it's nighttime on the other side of the world like in France or Australia or whatever. People are used to that. It rises in the east and sets in the west too. You can almost set your watch by it, That's gotta change.

The media will have to help out. With their help, the viewing public can forget this business of the earth rotating, revolving and all that. Just put it on their teleprompters that there are certain factors that cause solar shortages and only higher prices can remedy that. They could make a killing on summer! Winter would take a bit of work though. There's less sunlight in winter...but that's because there is a shortage of solar and the price is going to have to go up to reflect that. The Marketing Department would call that period, "Daylight Savings Time". We could all pull together as a country and conserve solar energy and if we have to pay a little but more, so be it. The payoff is in the period formerly known as "summer" where we bask in the patriotic glow of sunshine...during the summer sunning season, where- with demand being high- prices reflect that volume of need....

Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking. "Ferrerman! What about cloudy days?"

Cloudy days are the invisible hand of the free market but, with a twist. Government subsidies cover the Solar Companies for their cloudy day losses. And, as always, anyone caught illegally harnessing solar power will be subject to fines and incarceration. As for the poor and homeless who live off the solar paid for by others(!) isn't it just about time we killed those moochers?