*POST STARS*

I'm Rick Hairyson and THIS is my Post Shop.

Earlier today this guy comes into my shop with posts he says are Ferrerman posts. Ferrerman is one of the hottest posters on Topix. His stuff is GOLD!  He's poignant, thought-provoking, witty as all get out and extremely charming. Word has it that he's quite the charming bottom-spanker in real life as well.

My suspicions however are that these aren't real Ferrerman posts. Because he's so high-profile, he gets trolled a lot. Fake Ferrerman avatars are fairly common. I had one last year that looked OK to the casual eye- the Ferrerman photo of his six year old, handsome self and the quotation/location were current for the time. The problem was, there was an extra "r" in Ferrerman. Trolls do this to get around Topix laws as well as to be assholes. If you're not careful, you might fall for these fakes. Another problem is that trolls archive Ferrerman posts. Some trolls collect absolutely everything he posts in hopes that- I don't know- they'll get the Ferrerman life 'cause they have no life of their own?  So there are roughly 12,000 plus Ferrerman posts out there....some are brilliant, some are funny....some are brilliantly funny. With that many posts, you're bound to get fakes.

The Ferrerman Brand is very important to him but, he does "gray box" post. That's when a poster isn't registered or chooses to post un-registered for a time. In Ferrerman's case, it's to post with a fake, often humorous name, one that pertains to the post itself. The key with these posts is like real estate: "Location, location, location". Anyone who *knows* Ferrerman, knows that his ISP is ALWAYS in the Chicago area. I've seen fake Ferrerman posts from Florida to Ohio to California. The trolls always try to claim Ferrerman has a *proxy server*. No deal. Ferrerman does not use a proxy. Why would he? He's a Hall of Fame Topix poster- perhaps the best ever. Did Babe Ruth ever hit home runs under a fake name for different teams? Well, yes, because his real name was George Herman Ruth but, that's a different story. Ferrerman, because of his Illinois ISP, can't hide so, he doesn't. He WANTS you to know it's him posting. It's like Muhammed Ali standing over an opponent he's just knocked out. He wants you to know that Ali just knocked you out- not Cassius Clay.

So, I ask the jerk-faced weirdo what he wants to do with these posts. Amazingly, he tells me he wants to get Ferrerman banned!

Well, there's no market for banning Ferrerman. This would be like killing Wyatt Earp- Wyatt Berry Stapp Earp, if you're scoring at home. You just don't do it. Topix Boot Hill is full of those who tried, and failed miserably.

So the guy protests that Ferrerman is *mean*. Well, Ferrerman bullies the bullies. Girl-fighters don't stand a chance with him! The guy has never been defeated in political combat either. Because he's left, he's always right so, it's very hard to beat him if you come at him with Foxnews hyperbole and histrionics. I honestly don't know why people try. But then, Topix Boot Hill....

So I didn't even need to call in an expert for these fake, non-Ferrerman posts. I had Big Hoss and Chumlee escort the pathetic loser out of my shop. Then I logged on to Topix to check out the real Ferrerman. That guy cracks me up!