Theatre of the Absurd

Of course I know how funny this is. I have the ability in life to take a step back and look at what is happening to someone and think about how I would react if what was happening to them, was happening to me. I don't take a lot of what I see at face value. Fifty two years of life have taught me that little is what it appears to be. Like journalists are told, "If your mother says she loves you, check your sources..."

Yes, it is funny to me that a gang of imaginary girls on the internet despises me so much that one has even posted that her government job and the Patriot Act has given her the ability to reach beyond the internet and that, if she chooses to, she can have some Marines take care of me. I did laugh out loud at that. This particular girl is a self-professed alcoholic. Very troubled. It was doubly humorous to me that she prefaced her ability to have me killed with the observation that a previous post by "me" on that thread, wasn't from Ferrerman. The post she referred to had no avatar or ISP and it did not have my tone. A DRUNK girl saw this. No one else did. Nice that she noticed but, then she goes on to threaten to have me taken care of. Ya gotta take the bad with the good, I reckon.

This was on a thread called TRIVER TORN on the Science and Technology forum of Topix, if you're scoring at home or in a non-descript room in the basement of the Pentagon.

The so-called "psychologist" then stepped in and diffused the girl's curiousity by promising that she could virtually spank one of the male ninnies. Most ninnies can be persuaded with glasses of virtual bubble tea and freshly baked brownies...

Hey, death threats aside, how can I NOT find this amusing? This is a retarded slice of virtual life that, if you tried to make it up and sell it to Hollywood, you'd never get near a producer.

How would you explain, for example, that a woman you have never met, is so afraid of your real self stalking her real self, that she hijacks your screen name, your avatar and the names of other internet people that you do not know, so she can convince her internet friends that you are stalking her with malice aforthought?

I'd have to give a big ol' Southern 'Do WHAT now?" to that if it were happening to someone else. I'd laugh and say it was stupid.

It is. It is like the reality show "Big Brother". It's just like that except the boys and girls are un-seen 'cause it's on Topix, not on TV, The boys and girls involved surely aren't as attractive as the characters on TV but, who knows? I could post a photo of a pretty girl on an avatar, change my name to Brigid and address the issues of Amy and Abby as a woman. Who would know? who would care?

I think this has already been done. The so-called "psychologist" recently admitted that she initially got on Topix as a professional assignment. That assignment recently ended but, she had made friends and enjoyed their company so much, that she opted to stay. She did not explain what the assignment was and she didn't mention how her friends responded to this, well, duplicity, however, it appears they all took it in stride.

That doesn't strike anyone as, oh, I don't know- pretty fucking bizarre?! Anyone? Hello?

For over a year now, these (mostly) girls have been in constant virtual contact with each other and one of them reveals that her persona was created for a professional assignment. Oh, I see, like Donnie Brasco infiltrating the mafia. Except this Donnie Brasco liked the mob so much, he stayed! Who couldn't "get" that? Donnie- you scamp! You came here to get the goods on us but- hey!- you like us! You really like us! Now who wouldn't laugh at that? Who wouldn't accept that?

Well, I wouldn't. To my knowledge, none of these people have ever met in person. Isn't that kinda odd? The so-called "psychologist" is French and has a staff of assistants and students (who write stories for her...) and seems to live a fabulous life that includes many trips to Europe. Yet, she's never been to Chicago to meet with her two virtual best friends even for a weekend? That's not odd? Anyone?

When the feud with the ninnies began, the so-called "psychologist" mentioned that, by the way, she had received a pornographic picture of my dick from me, a couple of months earlier. Somehow, despite daily correspondence with the ninnies, she had failed to mention that in TWO MONTHS! Of course, it had troubled her greatly. She felt hurt, violated and disgusted all those months but, it slipped her mind. Until there was a reason to mention it...

That, I didn't find funny. It was absurd but, it wasn't funny. I didn't do that. I wouldn't do that. I was very pissed that someone would lie and say that I did. But, most of the ninnies took that as truth. The so-called "psychologist" equated it to a virtual rape. This frightened the ninnies. She said that the note along with the photo explained that this was what she was missing. It could happen to any of them at anytime...

Um, nobody wondered why it took her TWO FUCKING MONTHS to give her gal-pal's a heads up?

Her story has changed about the photo over the last couple of months. Most recently she stated that it was a mis-understanding and that someone had hijacked my Facebook account, evidently for just this one dastardly deed done to one specific person...

Hello, again- no one else amongst my family and friends on FB has had any similar trouble- nothing even close- and this hijacker chose HER out of all the people I actually know?! Not my neices, sister-in-laws, sisters, there friends and so on and so on...?

Well, of course it is because I'm obsessed with her and no one else. Because I think she's full of shit and I don't buy the psychologist crap just like I didn't buy the "I'm in the mob" crap I heard from a couple a dozen dude's in 15 years of tending bar. I didn't send them pictures of my dick either. She set off my bullshit meter was all. I reserve the right to call 'em as I see 'em.

My GOD! It's the internet! You can't see these people! And, when you do, you are seeing what they want you to see. It's like these freaks you see on NBC when Chris Hansen is busting pedophiles. They think they're charming a 13 year old girl and we see that it is a grown police officer. Even after so many airings of the program, these guys are suspicious yet they walk into strange houses hoping to have sex with a child. Never mind morals, they willingly leave logic and common sense at the click of a button.

So, why did this so-called "psychologist" single me out for virtual destruction? There's no half million dollar prize for winning this topix game like on Big Brother. There's no prize at all. There's really only the virtual friendship of a dozen or so ninnies at stake. I don't want that at all. I was asked to join their gang of regulars last fall. I declined. What's to "join"? It's Topix. You sign in, make a comment and either hang in the "conversation" or move on to something else. It is like a gang in that they offer "protection" from other posters who might flame you. Fuck that. I've gone into gun forums by myself. What are they gonna do- shoot me? Claim to have received pictures of my penis? Puh-leeze, been there, had THAT done...

So, why do I care? Because this happened to ME. Without me, I'm nobody. And nobody is going to take up for me but, me. I'm very selfish in that I care about me.

The so-called "psychologist" might be a psychologist. Could be a woman, could be a man. Could be a pretty woman. Could be a 300# lump of human shit. I don't know. I don't care. I'm not a ninnie having virtual tea parties with someone I've never seen nor will see.

I'm outa this Topix freak show and done with all the freaks that go with it.

And any ninjas or delta force guys or any other wanna be hero's that mightcould show up at the house, well, you might find me to be more than a handfull.

And ladies, lacking photographic evidence, ya'll might find me to be more than two hand fulls...