http://www.abc15.com/dpp/news/region_southeast_valley/tempe/pd-teens-try-to-trade-sex-for-food
Two teens arrested for prostitution. Imagine being so hungry and willing to trade your body- your mouth- for food. Imagine conservative pundits on Topix making jokes about "Happy Meals". Which is more offensive?
What to do with homeless kids? You can scream at them to get a job but, in most states the kids are too young to be fully employed. Missouri recently dumped their Child Labor laws but not so much to thwart these situations as to promote cheap child labor should the republicans be successful in diverting funds from schools into... Wall Street casinos, I guess. If those kids aren't going to be in school, they need to work, right? If you don't think that is doable in this still recovering economy, you need to consider how cheap minors would be to employ. Dove-tailed with a repealing of minimum wage laws, we could have near full employment to rival China or the American South prior to The Civil War.
I'm going to guess that the 18 and the 14 year old are homeless as well as jobless. There are no parents in the picture to teach them right from wrong and the folks that were there, most likely abused them, causing them to survive as they could on the steets. Except for the mentally ill, would anyone chose to live on the streets?
I doubt few choose prostition as a profession. For every "Pretty Woman" (Julia Roberts) there must be 10,000 male and female whores supporting a drug habit and/or a pimp. This isn't about an attractive woman *working* her way through law school as an *escort*. It's about survival. It's no laughing matter. Women, men and children are exploited world-wide and right here in America, every moment of every day. Putting them in jail is not the answer. The customers (johns) almost never do time, usually getting a citation, if not let off with a warning. If it's illegal to sell one's body, why isn't it illegal to buy?
Except for dating a call girl back in the day, I've never been with a prostitute. Angelica is a story for another day but, I was young and did rationalize her occupation and her being with other men as, more honest than my ex had been....
Again, I was young. Living in cities as I have, I've been around more prostitutes than most likely have. One morning in Memphis I sat in my truck having coffee, on break from work. I was facing a busy street, one of many known for prostitution. A young girl that I had to suspect was a crackwhore walked by my truck and made furtive, hopeful eye contact. I think I shook my head 'no' and she walked on.
I wasn't part of the problem but, neither was I part of the solution. Granted, saving souls is not in my job description. It was hard to tell how old she was but I'd have to guess teens going on thirty. A little rough looking. Somebody's daughter though. They all are. What could I do? Give her $20 with no strings attached? Part of me still wishes that I had though I know that would have been a short term solution to a long-term problem. Take her home and clean her up? That wasn't an option. If she had one, I wouldn't have minded beating her pimp/dealer senseless. All I did was not allow her to degrade herself with me. It seemed like enough, at the time. Cold comfort that that small non-act was more than many men would have done.
Exploiting other human beings has always been the way of the world. It always will be. All we can do is fight it as best we can, helping who we can. Legal semantics aside, lets not have sex between adults *illegal*. Let's not give tacit approval to adults having sex with minors by jailing the children for prostitution. At the very least, let's not joke about it.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Laffin' with the Devils
It's kind of a soap opera for Harley owners, I guess. The Discovery Channel has a new reality show, "The Devils Ride" about a San Diego Motorcycle Club (MC). These guys are not the Hell's Angels. They don't pretend to be and they are probably more to MC's than the Angels are in that they are not the 1% of cyclists that the American Motorcycle Association deemed the bad apples of the riding bunch. There might be a thousand MC's like them, guys who just like to ride, hang out and look cool.
I had a friend who belonged to a Club. Steever told me once not to call it a gang. He was not in a gang, he was in a Club. He never had to tell me again. I know this because he never had to punch me out.
When I knew and worked with Steever, he looked like a Club member. He had a bone-stock, '57 Panhead. A very serious bike. He rode it to work one day and told Big Brian that, if he could start it, he could have it. Brian was a big kid, a Harley owner himself. He stood on that kick-start for several tries before he realized he wasn't going to make it happen. Then, Steever, maybe 40 pounds lighter and ten or so years older, fired it up in one try. Older Harleys are tempermental. They famously leak oil and often break down. You really have to love them.
Steever showed me some photos of his Club days. Though he looked like he could play bass for Skynard now, he was very clean cut back in his Club days, almost baby-faced. It was quite a contrast which he acknowledged and laughed off. His Club was just a bunch of boys he had grown up with that liked to ride together. They had cuts and colors and rules with a heirarchy and a president and all that. They even had a housemouse- a gal who hung around and pretty much was sexually available to any Club member. They rode together and partied a lot. I know he didn't tell me any club secrets about prospects and such. That's kinda like frat boys. They don't really want to fess up to any hazing that goes on. It's good to have that layer of secrecy as it mightcould save some embarrassment. Steever's Club wasn't a criminal enterprise. Most are not. They didn't war with other Clubs or deal drugs or guns. His affiliation ended when the Club voted to merge with a more serious Club, one quite a bit more notorious. They just weren't him.
The Laffing Devils are like that too. If they were a criminal enterprise, I doubt they would have let TDC in amongst them with their cameras. Three episodes in and not one member has shoved his hand in the cameraman's face, annoyed at the spotlight. Will, on "Son's a Guns" seems to do that every five minutes. I'm guessing they not only like the influx of cash from TDC but the noteriety, as well. Let's face it: the colors and the Harley do scream, "LOOK AT ME!" That's the idea.
Elsewhere on the 'net, the LDMC is being laughed at. Oddly enough, I've never seen the popular "Sons Of Anarchy" a fictionalized account of a more volatile MC and many people opt to criticize it for not being "like that". Reality varies. Such is life. These guys are not a gang. It seems that most have the good jobs that tends to go with Harley ownership these days. Motorcycles are not cheap. The synopsis claims that most are former military looking to recreate that brotherhood they once shared. Clearly they are modeled after all the Clubs that came before them in that they have a president, vice-president, a sergeant-at-arms who enforces the rules and prospects who spend about a year being probationary *members* before getting a patch. I think one of them explained, 'you spend a lot of time getting in so they don't have to spend a lot of time getting you out'. Something like that. They have an initial classification of "hang around" for guys who are looking to be prospects. In last night's episode, they got rid of "Hangaround Tony" whom some patch-holders had thought should not have even had that staus because he didn't actually have a bike! Tony quit on his own, for reasons that might be revealed next week. I think they should have nixed him from day one for lack of motorcycle PLUS the sad fact that he looked like Doug Heffernan of "The King Of Queens: TV show. Would you ride with Doug?
Some of *reality TV* is scripted, I think, to some degree. Conflicts that happen off camera might be recreated, perhaps enhanced a bit, for effect. Maybe even encouraged... But, the reality of life is, if you get a bunch of guys together, there will be conflict. Most of us know this from work. Not everybody is gonna get along, especially if there is drinking involved. And cameras!
I know guys like these. Some ride motorcycles, some don't. It really doesn't matter if they do or don't. What appeals to me about the show is it's as incongruous as life is. A few of the LD's seem more like bikers than the others. At least, they look the part more than some of their brothers. There is certainly some profiling going on, some acting, just like real life. The coolest character is "Gypsi" the defrocked former president of the Club. Odd, but he seems less of a *biker* than some of the others. He's a smart, calculating man though and clearly has the respect of most of the Club even though he's no longer a member. Evidently he's also a bounty hunter so, no doubt he can can handle himself. More than that though, he appears to have leadership skills. Evidently he was a Marine who saw combat in Iraq. Manufactered drama or not, he's looking to start another MC. He retired from the LD's and should have been allowed to keep his colors but, was asked to turn them in and did. Regardless, starting a new MC is kind of an affront to the old Club. Will some guys defect and join Gypsi? To complicate matters further, the Prez wants to start a new chapter of LD's elsewhere in the county and- inexplicably- has delusions of franchising the Club all over the world! Slow down, chief. He seems like a nice guy but, not a world leader. Not even sure right now if he can lead the small world he has right now. Billy the Kid (the new Prez) is being called one of "the young bloods" in the Club by the producers. Perhaps more made-for-TV license to show old guard versus new. I'm sure it's there though, just as in real life. Being of a certain age myself, I do cringe when I see younger guys doing things I wish I hadn't done. Ya can't tell 'em anything....
So, I like the show. It's harmless entertainment, a soap opera again. It's life on and off two wheels pretty much like life for most of us. But, three episodes in and no housemouse? How seriously should I take these fellas?
I had a friend who belonged to a Club. Steever told me once not to call it a gang. He was not in a gang, he was in a Club. He never had to tell me again. I know this because he never had to punch me out.
When I knew and worked with Steever, he looked like a Club member. He had a bone-stock, '57 Panhead. A very serious bike. He rode it to work one day and told Big Brian that, if he could start it, he could have it. Brian was a big kid, a Harley owner himself. He stood on that kick-start for several tries before he realized he wasn't going to make it happen. Then, Steever, maybe 40 pounds lighter and ten or so years older, fired it up in one try. Older Harleys are tempermental. They famously leak oil and often break down. You really have to love them.
Steever showed me some photos of his Club days. Though he looked like he could play bass for Skynard now, he was very clean cut back in his Club days, almost baby-faced. It was quite a contrast which he acknowledged and laughed off. His Club was just a bunch of boys he had grown up with that liked to ride together. They had cuts and colors and rules with a heirarchy and a president and all that. They even had a housemouse- a gal who hung around and pretty much was sexually available to any Club member. They rode together and partied a lot. I know he didn't tell me any club secrets about prospects and such. That's kinda like frat boys. They don't really want to fess up to any hazing that goes on. It's good to have that layer of secrecy as it mightcould save some embarrassment. Steever's Club wasn't a criminal enterprise. Most are not. They didn't war with other Clubs or deal drugs or guns. His affiliation ended when the Club voted to merge with a more serious Club, one quite a bit more notorious. They just weren't him.
The Laffing Devils are like that too. If they were a criminal enterprise, I doubt they would have let TDC in amongst them with their cameras. Three episodes in and not one member has shoved his hand in the cameraman's face, annoyed at the spotlight. Will, on "Son's a Guns" seems to do that every five minutes. I'm guessing they not only like the influx of cash from TDC but the noteriety, as well. Let's face it: the colors and the Harley do scream, "LOOK AT ME!" That's the idea.
Elsewhere on the 'net, the LDMC is being laughed at. Oddly enough, I've never seen the popular "Sons Of Anarchy" a fictionalized account of a more volatile MC and many people opt to criticize it for not being "like that". Reality varies. Such is life. These guys are not a gang. It seems that most have the good jobs that tends to go with Harley ownership these days. Motorcycles are not cheap. The synopsis claims that most are former military looking to recreate that brotherhood they once shared. Clearly they are modeled after all the Clubs that came before them in that they have a president, vice-president, a sergeant-at-arms who enforces the rules and prospects who spend about a year being probationary *members* before getting a patch. I think one of them explained, 'you spend a lot of time getting in so they don't have to spend a lot of time getting you out'. Something like that. They have an initial classification of "hang around" for guys who are looking to be prospects. In last night's episode, they got rid of "Hangaround Tony" whom some patch-holders had thought should not have even had that staus because he didn't actually have a bike! Tony quit on his own, for reasons that might be revealed next week. I think they should have nixed him from day one for lack of motorcycle PLUS the sad fact that he looked like Doug Heffernan of "The King Of Queens: TV show. Would you ride with Doug?
Some of *reality TV* is scripted, I think, to some degree. Conflicts that happen off camera might be recreated, perhaps enhanced a bit, for effect. Maybe even encouraged... But, the reality of life is, if you get a bunch of guys together, there will be conflict. Most of us know this from work. Not everybody is gonna get along, especially if there is drinking involved. And cameras!
I know guys like these. Some ride motorcycles, some don't. It really doesn't matter if they do or don't. What appeals to me about the show is it's as incongruous as life is. A few of the LD's seem more like bikers than the others. At least, they look the part more than some of their brothers. There is certainly some profiling going on, some acting, just like real life. The coolest character is "Gypsi" the defrocked former president of the Club. Odd, but he seems less of a *biker* than some of the others. He's a smart, calculating man though and clearly has the respect of most of the Club even though he's no longer a member. Evidently he's also a bounty hunter so, no doubt he can can handle himself. More than that though, he appears to have leadership skills. Evidently he was a Marine who saw combat in Iraq. Manufactered drama or not, he's looking to start another MC. He retired from the LD's and should have been allowed to keep his colors but, was asked to turn them in and did. Regardless, starting a new MC is kind of an affront to the old Club. Will some guys defect and join Gypsi? To complicate matters further, the Prez wants to start a new chapter of LD's elsewhere in the county and- inexplicably- has delusions of franchising the Club all over the world! Slow down, chief. He seems like a nice guy but, not a world leader. Not even sure right now if he can lead the small world he has right now. Billy the Kid (the new Prez) is being called one of "the young bloods" in the Club by the producers. Perhaps more made-for-TV license to show old guard versus new. I'm sure it's there though, just as in real life. Being of a certain age myself, I do cringe when I see younger guys doing things I wish I hadn't done. Ya can't tell 'em anything....
So, I like the show. It's harmless entertainment, a soap opera again. It's life on and off two wheels pretty much like life for most of us. But, three episodes in and no housemouse? How seriously should I take these fellas?
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
ANYBODY but Obama....
"Pick a Republican with enough working digits to handle a pen to become president of the United States. This is a change for Republicans: the House and Senate doing the work with the president signing bills. His job is to be captain of the team, to sign the legislation that has already been prepared."
The above quote is from Grover Norquist. He and they (and by "they" I mean the GOP) literally mean anybody. Wow. Now that is some transparency! All their president needs is a maximum of ten fingers to sign whatever Grover and his gang put in front of him, no questions asked. Guess who has ten fingers?
MITT ROMNEY!
He has ten fingers and will do what he's told. They might as well save a billion dollars on campaign advertising and just run with that.
Shouldn't we be afraid of such a low setting of the presidential bar? Are we too busy thanking the stars that it's not Sarah Palin or Santorum? Mitt's a better face of dictatorship than those two, I reckon. Except for the dog transporting and bullying, he's a nice looking man. He sure knows how to make money though and, in these corporate times, don't we need a qualified CEO as president to lead us out of the remnants of the recession caused by the last CEO, Dick Cheney?
But, I digress. Unless there is some more serious skulduggery than we saw in Bush v. Gore and then Bush v. Kerry, this digitly qualified Ken doll is not going to win. Not enough people like him, something very important in an election. Not even enough people in his own party like him, despite his fingers and thumbs.
For godsakes he's a MORMON. They're damn near Scientologists. Would you want Tom Cruise or John Travolta running the country? If there is a theocracy on the horizon for America, it's not to be one that has us wearing Magic Underpants. Jesus would never return to that.
Right now, I don't think the republicans care as much about the presidency as they do controlling both houses of Congress and the lobbyists that own them. The presidency is icing on the cake, of course, but, Congress is where it's at. Aren't you tired of partisan politics, congressional fighting? Well, if every member of Congress marched in lock-step, we wouldn't have all that nonsense. Everybody would be on the same page with one fella like Grover pointing the words out for them. That, is small government you don't even need to drown in a bathtub.
So, can they win fighting gay marriage, Obama's birth certificate (AGAIN!?) and Jeramiah Wright (AGAIN?!) and eliminating social services?
Never say "never" but, yeah, they could. They won't but, it's the thought that counts.
What if, overnight, Welfare and such was eliminated? Your taxes would not go down. I guaranfuckingtee that. Wall Street needs that money to gamble with and The Military Industrial Complex needs that cash to go to war. And with scant few of those newly freed slaves of government assistance not actually pulling themselves up by their bootstraps and getting jobs that still don't exist, we'd need a ton of police and less- expensive soldiers to round these ner-do-wells up and put them in places where the rest of the population won't be stepping over their dead bodies. Hey- didn't Fox and friends tell you Obama had FEMA camps on the horizon to round up conservatives? Well, this is tit for that tat! Revenge is a dish best served cold. It will be on the menu in the camps, BTW.
If you pay attention in life, most people telegraph their intentions, knowingly or not. We see things that don't quite register in our mind at the time but become crystal clear later. You now know that you knew your spouse was stepping out, right? You ignored it at the time- maybe because you wanted to- but, it was pretty obvious. Norquist and the teabaggers are pretty obvious. I think your average reichtard actually does realize this. they are just to dense to see that, what you do to the least of my brothers you do to me. Jesus evidently said that. He could have expounded on that to declare what you do to the least of my brothers you WILL do to me but, most Americans, especially those of the exceptional variety, cannot think that far ahead.
We're all Jews waiting to be loaded into boxcars for camps where we're told we will be safe. The republicans are the Germans left behind, not-so-secretly glad to be rid of their neighbors, foolishly believing they will not be next.
The above quote is from Grover Norquist. He and they (and by "they" I mean the GOP) literally mean anybody. Wow. Now that is some transparency! All their president needs is a maximum of ten fingers to sign whatever Grover and his gang put in front of him, no questions asked. Guess who has ten fingers?
MITT ROMNEY!
He has ten fingers and will do what he's told. They might as well save a billion dollars on campaign advertising and just run with that.
Shouldn't we be afraid of such a low setting of the presidential bar? Are we too busy thanking the stars that it's not Sarah Palin or Santorum? Mitt's a better face of dictatorship than those two, I reckon. Except for the dog transporting and bullying, he's a nice looking man. He sure knows how to make money though and, in these corporate times, don't we need a qualified CEO as president to lead us out of the remnants of the recession caused by the last CEO, Dick Cheney?
But, I digress. Unless there is some more serious skulduggery than we saw in Bush v. Gore and then Bush v. Kerry, this digitly qualified Ken doll is not going to win. Not enough people like him, something very important in an election. Not even enough people in his own party like him, despite his fingers and thumbs.
For godsakes he's a MORMON. They're damn near Scientologists. Would you want Tom Cruise or John Travolta running the country? If there is a theocracy on the horizon for America, it's not to be one that has us wearing Magic Underpants. Jesus would never return to that.
Right now, I don't think the republicans care as much about the presidency as they do controlling both houses of Congress and the lobbyists that own them. The presidency is icing on the cake, of course, but, Congress is where it's at. Aren't you tired of partisan politics, congressional fighting? Well, if every member of Congress marched in lock-step, we wouldn't have all that nonsense. Everybody would be on the same page with one fella like Grover pointing the words out for them. That, is small government you don't even need to drown in a bathtub.
So, can they win fighting gay marriage, Obama's birth certificate (AGAIN!?) and Jeramiah Wright (AGAIN?!) and eliminating social services?
Never say "never" but, yeah, they could. They won't but, it's the thought that counts.
What if, overnight, Welfare and such was eliminated? Your taxes would not go down. I guaranfuckingtee that. Wall Street needs that money to gamble with and The Military Industrial Complex needs that cash to go to war. And with scant few of those newly freed slaves of government assistance not actually pulling themselves up by their bootstraps and getting jobs that still don't exist, we'd need a ton of police and less- expensive soldiers to round these ner-do-wells up and put them in places where the rest of the population won't be stepping over their dead bodies. Hey- didn't Fox and friends tell you Obama had FEMA camps on the horizon to round up conservatives? Well, this is tit for that tat! Revenge is a dish best served cold. It will be on the menu in the camps, BTW.
If you pay attention in life, most people telegraph their intentions, knowingly or not. We see things that don't quite register in our mind at the time but become crystal clear later. You now know that you knew your spouse was stepping out, right? You ignored it at the time- maybe because you wanted to- but, it was pretty obvious. Norquist and the teabaggers are pretty obvious. I think your average reichtard actually does realize this. they are just to dense to see that, what you do to the least of my brothers you do to me. Jesus evidently said that. He could have expounded on that to declare what you do to the least of my brothers you WILL do to me but, most Americans, especially those of the exceptional variety, cannot think that far ahead.
We're all Jews waiting to be loaded into boxcars for camps where we're told we will be safe. The republicans are the Germans left behind, not-so-secretly glad to be rid of their neighbors, foolishly believing they will not be next.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Heckle AND Jeckle
Here's a nice piece from NPR on heckling:
http://www.npr.org/2012/05/25/153689959/hey-you-the-unstoppable-rise-of-heckling?sc=fb&cc=fp
The internet is all about heckling. It's not just Topix, of course, but pretty much any site you might go to, even NPR. It's less about someone having something to say and not knowing how to express themselves intelligently than it is about people being assholes to others simply because they can.
With varying degrees of moderation in effect, you can pretty much say anything to anyone on a forum. Topix, for example, is very loosely moderated. It does have an automatic language filter which usually stops someone from calling someone a cocksucker but, corksoaker is okay and gets the point across. Surprisingly though, "fuck" is acceptable on the comments sections of many forums, even the media ones. However, enough complaints might cause such posts to be pulled eventually. Most terms of service request that people be nice and watch their language.
I constantly get heckled on Topix. My obsessed stalker sees to that. His full-time job is following me all around Topix iconning and making stupid comments on every post I make. I'm guessing his design in this is to make everyone think: "Well, I guess that remark by that Ferrerman guy must be 'totally gay' because these three posters from the same town in Ohio all concur that it is! Who knew?"
And, of course, thousands of others on Topix get heckled, by people who maybe aren't even *Sam*. He's not the only asshole on Topix even though it sure seems like it.
In Comedy Clubs, the heckler is usually some drunk, comic-wannabe, empowered and fueled by alcohol. He or she might even think that they are part of the act, something both the entertainer and audience have come to expect. A good comedian knows how to put them down in a deft, funny way. A bad comedian is Michael "Kramer" Richards and goes off on an ugly diatribe.
On the internet it's far less up close and personal than a bar where annoying people can get your ass kicked, usually deservedly so. As a Ferrerman, I'm quite well known for my rapier-like wit. Topix Boothill is filled with the avatars of those who have tried to take on The Ferrerman and lost. They don't actually die, mind you but, they change their screen names in shame or post unregistered in fear of Ferrerman. This is humorous to me because the very thing that gives them anonymity protects their sorry asses from actually getting kicked by Ferrerman. Yet they run and hide in lonely, fearful desperation relentlessly not pursued by the Ferrerman, not obsessed with their capture.
See, after a few smackdowns, these people have shown themselves to be bitter cowards, unworthy of my ferrerness. Though I do reserve the right to bitch slap a bitch like Sam, that's not what my posting is about. If in 100 posts to or about me by a sam, I respond to two or three, it's because I thought of a really funny comeback. This internet stuff truly writes itself! Idiots say the darndest things! So generally, I ignore those that are sam or sam-like in their heckling. Why encourage them? Just posting their crap to me or some other *victim* is enough to keep them alive to troll another day. A response might throw them into masturbatory orgasmic delight. Who knows? Who wants to know?
They're not my fault, nor my responsibility. Ignoring trolls truly is the best revenge.
A few weeks ago I totally cut off Angelique770's new gang. My friend Hegel did as well. She, like me, reports the wonderful feeling one gets when one quits banging one's head against the wall. 770, Sublime1 and Kevin were three of the most useless wastes of time the internet has ever known. They probably still are. I haven't checked.... But, again, I reserved the right to continue to post on Topix- Offbeat- and continue battling vulgar, phony conservatives as I see fit. I've all but given up on several of them, as well. Giving A770 a run for her money, for example, is that creepy Billy R. If there is a more effete, nattering nabob of foolishness on the threads, i've certainly scrolled over that person and, so, can't think of one. And when his BIL, *Oki* gets to posting about the coming Civil War and his desire to kill liberals, you can only taunt an idiot like that so much before you realize, it's not fun anymore. The fucker's serious! Drunk probably but, serious. You needn't defend any Obama policies to an idiot whose dream in life is to execute people who are smarter than him in a FEMA camp. Is there enough ammunition in the world for something like that?
But, I digress. Heckling. They're here! They jeer! Ya get used to it...for they have no earthly clue how stupid they show themselves to be.
http://www.npr.org/2012/05/25/153689959/hey-you-the-unstoppable-rise-of-heckling?sc=fb&cc=fp
The internet is all about heckling. It's not just Topix, of course, but pretty much any site you might go to, even NPR. It's less about someone having something to say and not knowing how to express themselves intelligently than it is about people being assholes to others simply because they can.
With varying degrees of moderation in effect, you can pretty much say anything to anyone on a forum. Topix, for example, is very loosely moderated. It does have an automatic language filter which usually stops someone from calling someone a cocksucker but, corksoaker is okay and gets the point across. Surprisingly though, "fuck" is acceptable on the comments sections of many forums, even the media ones. However, enough complaints might cause such posts to be pulled eventually. Most terms of service request that people be nice and watch their language.
I constantly get heckled on Topix. My obsessed stalker sees to that. His full-time job is following me all around Topix iconning and making stupid comments on every post I make. I'm guessing his design in this is to make everyone think: "Well, I guess that remark by that Ferrerman guy must be 'totally gay' because these three posters from the same town in Ohio all concur that it is! Who knew?"
And, of course, thousands of others on Topix get heckled, by people who maybe aren't even *Sam*. He's not the only asshole on Topix even though it sure seems like it.
In Comedy Clubs, the heckler is usually some drunk, comic-wannabe, empowered and fueled by alcohol. He or she might even think that they are part of the act, something both the entertainer and audience have come to expect. A good comedian knows how to put them down in a deft, funny way. A bad comedian is Michael "Kramer" Richards and goes off on an ugly diatribe.
On the internet it's far less up close and personal than a bar where annoying people can get your ass kicked, usually deservedly so. As a Ferrerman, I'm quite well known for my rapier-like wit. Topix Boothill is filled with the avatars of those who have tried to take on The Ferrerman and lost. They don't actually die, mind you but, they change their screen names in shame or post unregistered in fear of Ferrerman. This is humorous to me because the very thing that gives them anonymity protects their sorry asses from actually getting kicked by Ferrerman. Yet they run and hide in lonely, fearful desperation relentlessly not pursued by the Ferrerman, not obsessed with their capture.
See, after a few smackdowns, these people have shown themselves to be bitter cowards, unworthy of my ferrerness. Though I do reserve the right to bitch slap a bitch like Sam, that's not what my posting is about. If in 100 posts to or about me by a sam, I respond to two or three, it's because I thought of a really funny comeback. This internet stuff truly writes itself! Idiots say the darndest things! So generally, I ignore those that are sam or sam-like in their heckling. Why encourage them? Just posting their crap to me or some other *victim* is enough to keep them alive to troll another day. A response might throw them into masturbatory orgasmic delight. Who knows? Who wants to know?
They're not my fault, nor my responsibility. Ignoring trolls truly is the best revenge.
A few weeks ago I totally cut off Angelique770's new gang. My friend Hegel did as well. She, like me, reports the wonderful feeling one gets when one quits banging one's head against the wall. 770, Sublime1 and Kevin were three of the most useless wastes of time the internet has ever known. They probably still are. I haven't checked.... But, again, I reserved the right to continue to post on Topix- Offbeat- and continue battling vulgar, phony conservatives as I see fit. I've all but given up on several of them, as well. Giving A770 a run for her money, for example, is that creepy Billy R. If there is a more effete, nattering nabob of foolishness on the threads, i've certainly scrolled over that person and, so, can't think of one. And when his BIL, *Oki* gets to posting about the coming Civil War and his desire to kill liberals, you can only taunt an idiot like that so much before you realize, it's not fun anymore. The fucker's serious! Drunk probably but, serious. You needn't defend any Obama policies to an idiot whose dream in life is to execute people who are smarter than him in a FEMA camp. Is there enough ammunition in the world for something like that?
But, I digress. Heckling. They're here! They jeer! Ya get used to it...for they have no earthly clue how stupid they show themselves to be.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Some gave all
On this Memorial weekend, I do like to think about the veterans. "Thank you for your service" has become a perfunctory cliche of sorts these days but, I do thank them for their service. Peace time or storming the beach at Normandy, the military is not an easy job. For some it was Sergeant Bilko, others, never came home. Do not confuse the two. A young body blown to bits on a beach is not a bar brawl in 'Dago with your buddies.
I think about the young men who never made it home. The men of WWII seem to think more about the dead than most. The Greatest Generation seems to have paid the dead the most respect, in my lifetime at least. Most didn't consider themselves heroes. "The heroes" they often said, "didn't make it home". I think they knew that they didn't survive the impossible Hell on earth of D-Day or any firefight by anything but luck, just goddamned luck. A bullet, a bomb doesn't care how well-trained it's target is. Good looks, religion, kindness or toughness do not matter. Dead is fucking dead. Most combat veterans probably know this. Plato said, "Only the dead have seen the end of war".
Others have to live with it. They had to come home with memories our greatest filmakers can only begin to scratch the surface of the horror. How can you do the math on the opening scenes of "Saving Private Ryan" before you realize, frightful as that was, reality is far worse? Many of our dad's came home from Europe or the Pacific, cold-blooded killers. The business of killing had a slower pace then and there was time to decompress after our enemies surrendered but, there was still life to live with memories of war, for decades to come. In VietNam, a man could be in a free-fire zone one day and on a plane home the next, with the same decades to live with the memories. I imagine war today is faster in all respects. New and improved. Though I don't think anyone will ever find a good way to deal with it.
So much of the military is luck of the draw, I think. Even in WWII when the whole world was at stake, some men never left the states. This was whether they wanted to or not. Ted Williams, the greatest hitter EVER in baseball , was a USMC fighter pilot. Actor Jimmy Stewart piloted bombing missions in Europe. John Wayne stayed home and made movies. Who, of the three, is remembered as a war hero?
We could have lost George Bailey to anti-aircraft fire over Dusseldorf. The last man to hit .400 in the majors could have been out-manuvered by a Japanese Zero. But, we'd always have John Fucking Wayne.
That's how life and death works.
I've written before about phony war veterans. I don't like the one's who pad their resumes. I think someone should be proud enough about, say, their service in the Marines without claiming crap about 47 combat jumps in Viet Nam. Google is my friend. Google is not the friend of someone who thinks that the Marines made more than zero combat jumps in 'Nam. Same with fellas who were in the Marines but missed wars by a few years. Training for war is not war. Practice isn't the Super Bowl. It's not even a Sunday game, mid season.
I know why they do it. War looks great on the resume. "I have killed before. I'll do it again. Do NOT fuck with me!" Old Bob and Barry Gaker were like that at work. Hundreds of guys are like that on the internet. John Fucking Wayne was like that in real life. He didn't claim service but, don't most people think that he did win the war? Which war? All of them!
It's all about portfolio. If you want to add credence to your conservative views on the internet, it might help to be a veteran. Combat seems to be a major plus. Shooting libs and putting them in concentration camps seems like a darn good idea from a guy who has "...been there...ya know..." I mean, you may be a security guard now- ARMED, I might add- but, once upon a time you were in the bush...in The 'Nam, man....
I wish people would stick to the truth and accept themselves as they are. That should be good enough. It is and was good enough for most of the men and women who preceded you and thank their God everyday that they were not killed and didn't have to take another's life. Do not cheapen the hell that other men have been through by claiming their actions as your own. It just doesn't work that way. At least it shouldn't.
I think about the young men who never made it home. The men of WWII seem to think more about the dead than most. The Greatest Generation seems to have paid the dead the most respect, in my lifetime at least. Most didn't consider themselves heroes. "The heroes" they often said, "didn't make it home". I think they knew that they didn't survive the impossible Hell on earth of D-Day or any firefight by anything but luck, just goddamned luck. A bullet, a bomb doesn't care how well-trained it's target is. Good looks, religion, kindness or toughness do not matter. Dead is fucking dead. Most combat veterans probably know this. Plato said, "Only the dead have seen the end of war".
Others have to live with it. They had to come home with memories our greatest filmakers can only begin to scratch the surface of the horror. How can you do the math on the opening scenes of "Saving Private Ryan" before you realize, frightful as that was, reality is far worse? Many of our dad's came home from Europe or the Pacific, cold-blooded killers. The business of killing had a slower pace then and there was time to decompress after our enemies surrendered but, there was still life to live with memories of war, for decades to come. In VietNam, a man could be in a free-fire zone one day and on a plane home the next, with the same decades to live with the memories. I imagine war today is faster in all respects. New and improved. Though I don't think anyone will ever find a good way to deal with it.
So much of the military is luck of the draw, I think. Even in WWII when the whole world was at stake, some men never left the states. This was whether they wanted to or not. Ted Williams, the greatest hitter EVER in baseball , was a USMC fighter pilot. Actor Jimmy Stewart piloted bombing missions in Europe. John Wayne stayed home and made movies. Who, of the three, is remembered as a war hero?
We could have lost George Bailey to anti-aircraft fire over Dusseldorf. The last man to hit .400 in the majors could have been out-manuvered by a Japanese Zero. But, we'd always have John Fucking Wayne.
That's how life and death works.
I've written before about phony war veterans. I don't like the one's who pad their resumes. I think someone should be proud enough about, say, their service in the Marines without claiming crap about 47 combat jumps in Viet Nam. Google is my friend. Google is not the friend of someone who thinks that the Marines made more than zero combat jumps in 'Nam. Same with fellas who were in the Marines but missed wars by a few years. Training for war is not war. Practice isn't the Super Bowl. It's not even a Sunday game, mid season.
I know why they do it. War looks great on the resume. "I have killed before. I'll do it again. Do NOT fuck with me!" Old Bob and Barry Gaker were like that at work. Hundreds of guys are like that on the internet. John Fucking Wayne was like that in real life. He didn't claim service but, don't most people think that he did win the war? Which war? All of them!
It's all about portfolio. If you want to add credence to your conservative views on the internet, it might help to be a veteran. Combat seems to be a major plus. Shooting libs and putting them in concentration camps seems like a darn good idea from a guy who has "...been there...ya know..." I mean, you may be a security guard now- ARMED, I might add- but, once upon a time you were in the bush...in The 'Nam, man....
I wish people would stick to the truth and accept themselves as they are. That should be good enough. It is and was good enough for most of the men and women who preceded you and thank their God everyday that they were not killed and didn't have to take another's life. Do not cheapen the hell that other men have been through by claiming their actions as your own. It just doesn't work that way. At least it shouldn't.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Phi Beta Ferrerman
Via a glitch in Facebook, i got a link from an insane friend of mine who is a rabid Ron Paul supporter. I'd speak with Zuck personally but he is honeymooning and possibly hiding out from Federal investigators.
I hid my friend because a Ferrerman can only scroll past so many Ron Paul videos before he says enough is enough. Why can't she be like everybody else and post pics of her garden or some birthday party? No, what slipped through was a video of some girl talking about how she was quitting college because they were doing nothing but promoting a liberal, Marxist agenda.
Here's the fun part: The girl was attending The University Of Fucking UTAH! (Not it's official name, BTW) Utah, that bastion of liberal progressiveness. Was she trying to say that Utah is not conservative enough? My friend is pretty out there but, Utah being liberal is hard to swallow.
No, in tandem with other sentiments of hers, she was proclaiming that NO ONE should go to college. That's in the news these days. College is elitist and goes against the GOP philosophy of "Arbeit Macht Frei" which, I think translates to "No Unions/Benefits".
Well, college isn't for everyone. That's a fact. When you look at the massive student debt and how incredibly hard it is to pay off student loans, one might want to think twice about sending your child off to college. If you watch a cable show like "Campus PD" you might call your kid home now. It seems all those kids do is get pathetically drunk and stupid and create new games to achieve that. You can do that in your basement at home. The guy throwing up on his shoes may one day be a captain of industry or a doctor but, really, what are the odds? College is a horrible place to learn how to drink. When I went to college (as a visitor) I already knew how to drink and, well, a lot of those kids weren't doing it right.
So, though this was the pre-Reagan era and money was available, I just couldn't see my young self going off to college and trying to figure out a career for myself. This, I think, is what many kids do. For a lot of people, going to college is the natural order of things. It's what you do after high school, duh! I still think that college-educated people make more money than non-college types but, yes, there are PHD's driving cabs. In my case, I just didn't know what I wanted to do with my life at that point. I knew I didn't want to be cooped up in an office, pushing papers and this is what I thought the end result of college would be. I think a lot of life is making the check points and some of the dumbest people I know have done this and been reasonably successful at it. College looks good on many resumes and is a requirement. I figured writing was maybe somewhere in my future and, college wasn't going to ensure that. You either feel this or it doesn't happen. No one can tell me how to do this. No one should. I may regret not having gone because I think I would have made a fine teacher. Teaching what exactly, I don't know. Again, that's why I didn't go. I have teachers in my family and circle of friends. I admire them very much.
This scorched earth policy that seems to be at the core of GOP *thinking* and Ron Paul as well, angers me. When they say no one should go to college, they mean no one but the children of the One Percent. Maybe that is why it is "elite"? The moment Barack Obama was elected they decided it was time for their cultural revolution. Burn America to the ground on his watch and rebuild it. Purge intellectuals and education. Who thinks like this?
Communists do. Historically, they go into the village and kill all the elected officials and educators- anyone who can lead, teach people to think. Though conservatives are not communists, they act like them in so many ways. It's all about control of the masses by the few, for the benefit of the few. Rather than at gunpoint, they like to make people feel it's their idea.This is why my hidden friend believes no one should go to elitist, progressive universities that only serve to indoctrinate.... She missed the part where she has been indoctrinated, to think so. If you want to advise young people, unsure of themselves, to not go to college and rack up incredible, high-interest debt, fine. That is good food for thought. School loans are the child support of the 21st century. There is no bailout, no bankruptcy. Only pay or die. No, they won't kill you but, you will not get SS or medicare in your old age if you have not paid your student loans. It's run by banks now. You know how they are with money. They can fail all day long but, you can't. You have to man or woman up.
I saw a guy on "60 Minutes" this past Sunday who will give $100,000 to selected students to drop out of college and use his cash to develop their ideas for a business. I understand that until it is revealed he's a Libertarian with an agenda. Young Zuckerberg did not graduate Harvard. He was too busy with Facebook. You know what happened there. Bill Gates is another fine example. He created Microsoft sans diploma. Well, there ya go! That's all ya gotta do....
Nope, college is not for everyone. Those two do not prove that, however. The kid puking his guts out after a frat party doesn't necessarily prove that either though there are far more drunk-ass students than there are entrepreneurs but, they may go on to become brilliant alcoholics in some field. You never know. They might get sober.
This is America. We find things out. We don't go into (our) villages and cut off heads. If we are to remain free, we need to continue to educate ourselves. We need to be able to think for ourselves and recognize propaganda when we hear it, the corruption of our minds when we see it and the stealing of our souls when we feel it.
I'm a student of life. I learned this on the streets. I'm very lucky to have the education that I have. Others in my country want a Harvard educated elitist to lead my country back into the 19th century. If you're keeping score at home, it's the White guy. He got his and he and others want to close the door behind them and nail it shut. This cannot be good. These elitist motherfuckers can't swing a hammer to save a country. They can only tear it down.
I hid my friend because a Ferrerman can only scroll past so many Ron Paul videos before he says enough is enough. Why can't she be like everybody else and post pics of her garden or some birthday party? No, what slipped through was a video of some girl talking about how she was quitting college because they were doing nothing but promoting a liberal, Marxist agenda.
Here's the fun part: The girl was attending The University Of Fucking UTAH! (Not it's official name, BTW) Utah, that bastion of liberal progressiveness. Was she trying to say that Utah is not conservative enough? My friend is pretty out there but, Utah being liberal is hard to swallow.
No, in tandem with other sentiments of hers, she was proclaiming that NO ONE should go to college. That's in the news these days. College is elitist and goes against the GOP philosophy of "Arbeit Macht Frei" which, I think translates to "No Unions/Benefits".
Well, college isn't for everyone. That's a fact. When you look at the massive student debt and how incredibly hard it is to pay off student loans, one might want to think twice about sending your child off to college. If you watch a cable show like "Campus PD" you might call your kid home now. It seems all those kids do is get pathetically drunk and stupid and create new games to achieve that. You can do that in your basement at home. The guy throwing up on his shoes may one day be a captain of industry or a doctor but, really, what are the odds? College is a horrible place to learn how to drink. When I went to college (as a visitor) I already knew how to drink and, well, a lot of those kids weren't doing it right.
So, though this was the pre-Reagan era and money was available, I just couldn't see my young self going off to college and trying to figure out a career for myself. This, I think, is what many kids do. For a lot of people, going to college is the natural order of things. It's what you do after high school, duh! I still think that college-educated people make more money than non-college types but, yes, there are PHD's driving cabs. In my case, I just didn't know what I wanted to do with my life at that point. I knew I didn't want to be cooped up in an office, pushing papers and this is what I thought the end result of college would be. I think a lot of life is making the check points and some of the dumbest people I know have done this and been reasonably successful at it. College looks good on many resumes and is a requirement. I figured writing was maybe somewhere in my future and, college wasn't going to ensure that. You either feel this or it doesn't happen. No one can tell me how to do this. No one should. I may regret not having gone because I think I would have made a fine teacher. Teaching what exactly, I don't know. Again, that's why I didn't go. I have teachers in my family and circle of friends. I admire them very much.
This scorched earth policy that seems to be at the core of GOP *thinking* and Ron Paul as well, angers me. When they say no one should go to college, they mean no one but the children of the One Percent. Maybe that is why it is "elite"? The moment Barack Obama was elected they decided it was time for their cultural revolution. Burn America to the ground on his watch and rebuild it. Purge intellectuals and education. Who thinks like this?
Communists do. Historically, they go into the village and kill all the elected officials and educators- anyone who can lead, teach people to think. Though conservatives are not communists, they act like them in so many ways. It's all about control of the masses by the few, for the benefit of the few. Rather than at gunpoint, they like to make people feel it's their idea.This is why my hidden friend believes no one should go to elitist, progressive universities that only serve to indoctrinate.... She missed the part where she has been indoctrinated, to think so. If you want to advise young people, unsure of themselves, to not go to college and rack up incredible, high-interest debt, fine. That is good food for thought. School loans are the child support of the 21st century. There is no bailout, no bankruptcy. Only pay or die. No, they won't kill you but, you will not get SS or medicare in your old age if you have not paid your student loans. It's run by banks now. You know how they are with money. They can fail all day long but, you can't. You have to man or woman up.
I saw a guy on "60 Minutes" this past Sunday who will give $100,000 to selected students to drop out of college and use his cash to develop their ideas for a business. I understand that until it is revealed he's a Libertarian with an agenda. Young Zuckerberg did not graduate Harvard. He was too busy with Facebook. You know what happened there. Bill Gates is another fine example. He created Microsoft sans diploma. Well, there ya go! That's all ya gotta do....
Nope, college is not for everyone. Those two do not prove that, however. The kid puking his guts out after a frat party doesn't necessarily prove that either though there are far more drunk-ass students than there are entrepreneurs but, they may go on to become brilliant alcoholics in some field. You never know. They might get sober.
This is America. We find things out. We don't go into (our) villages and cut off heads. If we are to remain free, we need to continue to educate ourselves. We need to be able to think for ourselves and recognize propaganda when we hear it, the corruption of our minds when we see it and the stealing of our souls when we feel it.
I'm a student of life. I learned this on the streets. I'm very lucky to have the education that I have. Others in my country want a Harvard educated elitist to lead my country back into the 19th century. If you're keeping score at home, it's the White guy. He got his and he and others want to close the door behind them and nail it shut. This cannot be good. These elitist motherfuckers can't swing a hammer to save a country. They can only tear it down.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Idol Thoughts
I nearly made it through my entire life without watching American Idol. Evidently, the show is ending, having suffered a loss in ratings and maybe a victim to the glut of similar shows which offer the same thing only somewhat different.
I sure enough like music but when I first heard about it and the peanut gallery aspect of watching truly talentless people sacrifice their dignity (perhaps) actually thinking they had talent, going on stage to be abused by a prissy Englishman, I just couldn't see myself getting into such a program. Several years ago you couldn't help but at least be somewhat aware of the show as it got a lot of mention in all media. Yes, delusional people went on stage and warbled horribly, making people wonder if they truly believed they could sing or if they just didn't mind embarrassing themselves to be on TV. The deal was viewers could wade through many episodes of that vulgarity, mocking the losers before some obscure young man or woman stepped on stage outa- nowhere- and really wowed the Englishman, the black dude and the Laker Girl. Then, it would all be worth it.
Eh, not for me. I made plans to never actually watch the show.
The best laid plans of mice and Ferrerman being what they are, I found myself on the road with Frank Vaginalicker (not his real name) and forced to watch Frank's favorite show. Well, forced by boredom, actually.
We were in Dothan, Alabama doing a warehouse and Frank was the foreman. He was a Chicago guy, like me and I figured we'd get along pretty good on this trip. I already knew Frank from work but hadn't actually worked that much with him and, though I had been warned about him, he was nobody I couldn't handle.
"Wait until he starts talking that shit" Ronnie Somebody admonished. Ronnie had been on the previous excursion with Frank and refused to return with him. 'Talkin' shit', I thought. I'd have no problem putting Frank down if he wanted to fight. I wondered why a big dude like Ronnie would see that as a problem.
Well, 'talkin' shit' turned out to be a literal conversational affliction for Frank Vaginalicker. Three or four Budweisers and half a joint caused him to be damn near incoherent. He babbled. Worse, he was one of those people who finished EVERY sentence with: "...ya know what I'm saying?" Half the time I did not know what he was saying and the other half I sorta did but didn't care. Worser part of this was he expected a response to "...ya know what I'm sayin'?" He'd fucking keep asking until you responded.
Yeah, Frank I do indeed know what you're saying. It's seven o'clock. I get that. I've got a fucking watch myself. Yeah, I hear ya. Yeah, OK, time for Idol. Of course you're an excellent driver....
Sheesh! THIS is what Ronnie Somebody meant! Why couldn't Frank just want to fight like other drunken idiots? Why did he want to talk and make sound checks?
Frank made it very clear that Idol was the best show, EVER! Know what I mean? We were gonna watch Idol and he was sure I would love it. Know what I'm sayin'?
It sucked. They happened to have been in Birmingham Alabama doing the fodder segment of the formula and, if you've seen one talentless idiot who thought they could sing, sing, you've seen them all. It was one of the worst hours of my life but, I survived. Frank was one of those people who, having no control over their own life, leapt at the chance to control others. When I had worked with him back in Memphis, he was very accomodating. A good guy. That's why I thought we'd bond just fine on the road. Though he was a Sox fan and a bit younger than me, we could talk about Chicago stuff- deep dish pizza and the like. Everybody's different on the road. Though Memphis was full of titty bars, I had never been to one. I'm a huge fan of naked women but not of spending $600 dollars for a handjob from one like I had heard too many strip club stories about. I'm a do-it-yourselfer. Titty bars just seemed like a terrific way to blow your paycheck without actually getting blown in the process. (NOT a diy'er there, thank you!) But, on the road, you do stuff like that. Everybody drinks too much and even I smoked a bit of weed. Frank also decreed that we would go deep sea fishing as we were a couple hours or so from Florida's Panhandle and, goddamn it, we were going deep sea fishing whether we we liked it or not! And we were gonna listen to country music in the truck. Frank was burned out on classic rock and was into country music. So, he hoped that me, Benji and Jorge liked country music because that was ALL he wanted to hear.... Sheesh. Bengi was Mexican, Jorge, Nicauragian. No way to treat guests. I could tolerate country just fine if a rock station was on commercial. Pobrecito amigos! Lo siento!
I don't recall if it was a week trip or two but, before it was over, I had a junta with the amigos and we agreed to a revoluccion. We would not return to Alabama with Frank. The boss would just have to see the pattern here with that and Ronnie Somebody's asessment of Frank. Not a bad guy...but...DO NOT go on the road with him.
As it turned out, Frank wasn't destined to return to Dothan regardless. He had to go back to jail either for his DUI's or an assault on his stepson, I forget. The next trip was with Bobby Booooosssss at the helm and is an insane story for another day. I'll never forgive Frank for ruining my perfect streak of never having watched American Idol.
But, if I ever see Frank again, I'd have a beer with him and catch up. I'd just bail on him after that first one. Know what I'm sayin'?
I sure enough like music but when I first heard about it and the peanut gallery aspect of watching truly talentless people sacrifice their dignity (perhaps) actually thinking they had talent, going on stage to be abused by a prissy Englishman, I just couldn't see myself getting into such a program. Several years ago you couldn't help but at least be somewhat aware of the show as it got a lot of mention in all media. Yes, delusional people went on stage and warbled horribly, making people wonder if they truly believed they could sing or if they just didn't mind embarrassing themselves to be on TV. The deal was viewers could wade through many episodes of that vulgarity, mocking the losers before some obscure young man or woman stepped on stage outa- nowhere- and really wowed the Englishman, the black dude and the Laker Girl. Then, it would all be worth it.
Eh, not for me. I made plans to never actually watch the show.
The best laid plans of mice and Ferrerman being what they are, I found myself on the road with Frank Vaginalicker (not his real name) and forced to watch Frank's favorite show. Well, forced by boredom, actually.
We were in Dothan, Alabama doing a warehouse and Frank was the foreman. He was a Chicago guy, like me and I figured we'd get along pretty good on this trip. I already knew Frank from work but hadn't actually worked that much with him and, though I had been warned about him, he was nobody I couldn't handle.
"Wait until he starts talking that shit" Ronnie Somebody admonished. Ronnie had been on the previous excursion with Frank and refused to return with him. 'Talkin' shit', I thought. I'd have no problem putting Frank down if he wanted to fight. I wondered why a big dude like Ronnie would see that as a problem.
Well, 'talkin' shit' turned out to be a literal conversational affliction for Frank Vaginalicker. Three or four Budweisers and half a joint caused him to be damn near incoherent. He babbled. Worse, he was one of those people who finished EVERY sentence with: "...ya know what I'm saying?" Half the time I did not know what he was saying and the other half I sorta did but didn't care. Worser part of this was he expected a response to "...ya know what I'm sayin'?" He'd fucking keep asking until you responded.
Yeah, Frank I do indeed know what you're saying. It's seven o'clock. I get that. I've got a fucking watch myself. Yeah, I hear ya. Yeah, OK, time for Idol. Of course you're an excellent driver....
Sheesh! THIS is what Ronnie Somebody meant! Why couldn't Frank just want to fight like other drunken idiots? Why did he want to talk and make sound checks?
Frank made it very clear that Idol was the best show, EVER! Know what I mean? We were gonna watch Idol and he was sure I would love it. Know what I'm sayin'?
It sucked. They happened to have been in Birmingham Alabama doing the fodder segment of the formula and, if you've seen one talentless idiot who thought they could sing, sing, you've seen them all. It was one of the worst hours of my life but, I survived. Frank was one of those people who, having no control over their own life, leapt at the chance to control others. When I had worked with him back in Memphis, he was very accomodating. A good guy. That's why I thought we'd bond just fine on the road. Though he was a Sox fan and a bit younger than me, we could talk about Chicago stuff- deep dish pizza and the like. Everybody's different on the road. Though Memphis was full of titty bars, I had never been to one. I'm a huge fan of naked women but not of spending $600 dollars for a handjob from one like I had heard too many strip club stories about. I'm a do-it-yourselfer. Titty bars just seemed like a terrific way to blow your paycheck without actually getting blown in the process. (NOT a diy'er there, thank you!) But, on the road, you do stuff like that. Everybody drinks too much and even I smoked a bit of weed. Frank also decreed that we would go deep sea fishing as we were a couple hours or so from Florida's Panhandle and, goddamn it, we were going deep sea fishing whether we we liked it or not! And we were gonna listen to country music in the truck. Frank was burned out on classic rock and was into country music. So, he hoped that me, Benji and Jorge liked country music because that was ALL he wanted to hear.... Sheesh. Bengi was Mexican, Jorge, Nicauragian. No way to treat guests. I could tolerate country just fine if a rock station was on commercial. Pobrecito amigos! Lo siento!
I don't recall if it was a week trip or two but, before it was over, I had a junta with the amigos and we agreed to a revoluccion. We would not return to Alabama with Frank. The boss would just have to see the pattern here with that and Ronnie Somebody's asessment of Frank. Not a bad guy...but...DO NOT go on the road with him.
As it turned out, Frank wasn't destined to return to Dothan regardless. He had to go back to jail either for his DUI's or an assault on his stepson, I forget. The next trip was with Bobby Booooosssss at the helm and is an insane story for another day. I'll never forgive Frank for ruining my perfect streak of never having watched American Idol.
But, if I ever see Frank again, I'd have a beer with him and catch up. I'd just bail on him after that first one. Know what I'm sayin'?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)