Theatre of the Absurd

Of course I know how funny this is. I have the ability in life to take a step back and look at what is happening to someone and think about how I would react if what was happening to them, was happening to me. I don't take a lot of what I see at face value. Fifty two years of life have taught me that little is what it appears to be. Like journalists are told, "If your mother says she loves you, check your sources..."

Yes, it is funny to me that a gang of imaginary girls on the internet despises me so much that one has even posted that her government job and the Patriot Act has given her the ability to reach beyond the internet and that, if she chooses to, she can have some Marines take care of me. I did laugh out loud at that. This particular girl is a self-professed alcoholic. Very troubled. It was doubly humorous to me that she prefaced her ability to have me killed with the observation that a previous post by "me" on that thread, wasn't from Ferrerman. The post she referred to had no avatar or ISP and it did not have my tone. A DRUNK girl saw this. No one else did. Nice that she noticed but, then she goes on to threaten to have me taken care of. Ya gotta take the bad with the good, I reckon.

This was on a thread called TRIVER TORN on the Science and Technology forum of Topix, if you're scoring at home or in a non-descript room in the basement of the Pentagon.

The so-called "psychologist" then stepped in and diffused the girl's curiousity by promising that she could virtually spank one of the male ninnies. Most ninnies can be persuaded with glasses of virtual bubble tea and freshly baked brownies...

Hey, death threats aside, how can I NOT find this amusing? This is a retarded slice of virtual life that, if you tried to make it up and sell it to Hollywood, you'd never get near a producer.

How would you explain, for example, that a woman you have never met, is so afraid of your real self stalking her real self, that she hijacks your screen name, your avatar and the names of other internet people that you do not know, so she can convince her internet friends that you are stalking her with malice aforthought?

I'd have to give a big ol' Southern 'Do WHAT now?" to that if it were happening to someone else. I'd laugh and say it was stupid.

It is. It is like the reality show "Big Brother". It's just like that except the boys and girls are un-seen 'cause it's on Topix, not on TV, The boys and girls involved surely aren't as attractive as the characters on TV but, who knows? I could post a photo of a pretty girl on an avatar, change my name to Brigid and address the issues of Amy and Abby as a woman. Who would know? who would care?

I think this has already been done. The so-called "psychologist" recently admitted that she initially got on Topix as a professional assignment. That assignment recently ended but, she had made friends and enjoyed their company so much, that she opted to stay. She did not explain what the assignment was and she didn't mention how her friends responded to this, well, duplicity, however, it appears they all took it in stride.

That doesn't strike anyone as, oh, I don't know- pretty fucking bizarre?! Anyone? Hello?

For over a year now, these (mostly) girls have been in constant virtual contact with each other and one of them reveals that her persona was created for a professional assignment. Oh, I see, like Donnie Brasco infiltrating the mafia. Except this Donnie Brasco liked the mob so much, he stayed! Who couldn't "get" that? Donnie- you scamp! You came here to get the goods on us but- hey!- you like us! You really like us! Now who wouldn't laugh at that? Who wouldn't accept that?

Well, I wouldn't. To my knowledge, none of these people have ever met in person. Isn't that kinda odd? The so-called "psychologist" is French and has a staff of assistants and students (who write stories for her...) and seems to live a fabulous life that includes many trips to Europe. Yet, she's never been to Chicago to meet with her two virtual best friends even for a weekend? That's not odd? Anyone?

When the feud with the ninnies began, the so-called "psychologist" mentioned that, by the way, she had received a pornographic picture of my dick from me, a couple of months earlier. Somehow, despite daily correspondence with the ninnies, she had failed to mention that in TWO MONTHS! Of course, it had troubled her greatly. She felt hurt, violated and disgusted all those months but, it slipped her mind. Until there was a reason to mention it...

That, I didn't find funny. It was absurd but, it wasn't funny. I didn't do that. I wouldn't do that. I was very pissed that someone would lie and say that I did. But, most of the ninnies took that as truth. The so-called "psychologist" equated it to a virtual rape. This frightened the ninnies. She said that the note along with the photo explained that this was what she was missing. It could happen to any of them at anytime...

Um, nobody wondered why it took her TWO FUCKING MONTHS to give her gal-pal's a heads up?

Her story has changed about the photo over the last couple of months. Most recently she stated that it was a mis-understanding and that someone had hijacked my Facebook account, evidently for just this one dastardly deed done to one specific person...

Hello, again- no one else amongst my family and friends on FB has had any similar trouble- nothing even close- and this hijacker chose HER out of all the people I actually know?! Not my neices, sister-in-laws, sisters, there friends and so on and so on...?

Well, of course it is because I'm obsessed with her and no one else. Because I think she's full of shit and I don't buy the psychologist crap just like I didn't buy the "I'm in the mob" crap I heard from a couple a dozen dude's in 15 years of tending bar. I didn't send them pictures of my dick either. She set off my bullshit meter was all. I reserve the right to call 'em as I see 'em.

My GOD! It's the internet! You can't see these people! And, when you do, you are seeing what they want you to see. It's like these freaks you see on NBC when Chris Hansen is busting pedophiles. They think they're charming a 13 year old girl and we see that it is a grown police officer. Even after so many airings of the program, these guys are suspicious yet they walk into strange houses hoping to have sex with a child. Never mind morals, they willingly leave logic and common sense at the click of a button.

So, why did this so-called "psychologist" single me out for virtual destruction? There's no half million dollar prize for winning this topix game like on Big Brother. There's no prize at all. There's really only the virtual friendship of a dozen or so ninnies at stake. I don't want that at all. I was asked to join their gang of regulars last fall. I declined. What's to "join"? It's Topix. You sign in, make a comment and either hang in the "conversation" or move on to something else. It is like a gang in that they offer "protection" from other posters who might flame you. Fuck that. I've gone into gun forums by myself. What are they gonna do- shoot me? Claim to have received pictures of my penis? Puh-leeze, been there, had THAT done...

So, why do I care? Because this happened to ME. Without me, I'm nobody. And nobody is going to take up for me but, me. I'm very selfish in that I care about me.

The so-called "psychologist" might be a psychologist. Could be a woman, could be a man. Could be a pretty woman. Could be a 300# lump of human shit. I don't know. I don't care. I'm not a ninnie having virtual tea parties with someone I've never seen nor will see.

I'm outa this Topix freak show and done with all the freaks that go with it.

And any ninjas or delta force guys or any other wanna be hero's that mightcould show up at the house, well, you might find me to be more than a handfull.

And ladies, lacking photographic evidence, ya'll might find me to be more than two hand fulls...

I WIN!

Not really. I mean, I do win in that i've given up on the inanity of Topix and the vulgar insanity of the ninnies. I win there but, that's like saying your head feels better ever since you quit beating it against a brick wall.

I'm not going to spend a lot of time on this ninnie shit. I didn't threaten anybody and I didn't reveal anyones true identity. Anyone who tells you that I did is a liar and a ****. If you think I did this, feel free to think that. If you SAY I did this, fucking prove it. Since you cannot, shut the fuck up.

I'm done with these people. But, before I go, here's a message for all you lackeys who might want to portray yourselves as victims:

If you want to portray a guy as a crazed stalker, DO NOT leave (so far) three vulgar taunts on a ferrerman's blog. That's kinda stoopid. Also, don't publish posts on your blog where your cohorts offer to publish any personal information about a ferrerman. That too is stoopid. And easily copied.

I am done with you freaks.

Ninnies Revisited

A few weeks back I self-censored one of my blogs about introverts. In deference to a young lady who is a former member of the introverts, I deleted it. She is a truly introverted person and was kinda hurt, thinking that I had taken a shot at her and any quiet types like her. I hadn't of course as I have no problem with people being shy or quiet. I actually prefer them to their opposites who are loud and obnoxious. And neither do I have a problem with people who are regular posters on Topix. When I speak disparagingly of 'ninnies' and 'dregs', I do NOT mean introverted people or regulars. Let's make no more mistakes about that.

I personally do not post much in Topix these days. Frankly, since the change, not too many people do. Since the Tribune dropped out there are no fresh news stories to comment on (no Cubs and Sox stuff for example) and this has taken a lot of fuel out of the fire of the forums. It's pretty lame. I'm not even sure if a lot of regular posters know how to access what is now the Chicago Forum. I like to think that some simply found better things to do.

One other change that I noticed is that boys are now allowed to post with the ninnies now. Though boys could always also be introverts, until recently boys could not post in the introverts quorum, the thread that the ninnies called "home". You can thank Dr. Rodney Luther King for this new found right. That, would be, me.

It was nothing really special on my part. I hadn't set out to do it. But, mine and other 'boys' posting on the girl's private thread is what had brought about the flame war in the first place, a couple months back. Ya'll know the drill there. The 'lackey' screamed foul and I screamed back. It was the usual Topix vitriol and it was silly, stupid and pointless and it would have died out real quick except for one thing.

The complete lie about the picture of my penis. That kinda changed everything.

Why did she do that? Why lie about a real person like that?

For the same reason you lie about WMD's. If you want to go to war, you have to rally the support of the people who will be fighting that war for you. You have to give them an evil, despicable, crazy enemy who must be vanquished. That's how it's been done throughout history. To maintain control over people, those people have to be united against a common enemy. Cheney and Bush knew this. So did the head cheerleader. Or maybe she was just being mean.

I guess that I was supposed to leave Topix forever at the first flare up. It could be argued that a smart guy would have done just that. I recalled my first father-in-law often telling me that the best way to argue with a woman was with your hat. Put it on your head and leave. I understand that but, except for when it rains or I'm painting over head, I don't wear hats. Plus, I kinda got this 'fuck with me- i'll fuck with you' way of dealing with life. She wasn't someone who could fire me. I would quit when it suited me.

After I wrote the initial ninnie blog, one of them protested that I had mentioned an aspect of her life and she took umbrage with this. She wondered aloud for several days how I (or anyone) could find her life so interesting as to mention it in a blog. It didn't bother her but, she spoke of it for several days though, it didn't bother her. I should mention that it didn't bother her...

It didn't bother me that it didn't bother her. The blog wasn't about her. Some of the ninnies and some dregs think that the sun rises and sets on them, BECAUSE of them. What bothered me was the hypocrisy of someone who regularly read stories about people on the net written by the head cheerleader (and others) getting upset that something vaguely about 'her' was written on the net. They ALL got upset about this. They are ALL hypocrits. If you giggle because the cheerleader takes quotes from various Topix threads and uses them to portray others in a bad light, then giggle along with this. If you have a problem with this, explain to me how I should not have free speech but any ninnie should. Explain to me also, how any non-innie or reg is fair game to be made fun of but, if I call a liar a liar, I'm somehow a 'troll' and 'obsessed' and a 'stalker' for doing so. Evidently Jack Nicholson was right. You can't handle the truth.

But, alas, this will fall on many deaf ears. An irrational dreg told me recently that nobody reads my blog. The cheerleader told him so. Gotta like a man who thinks for himself.

Topix has changed. The ninnie thread too. Not just are boys now welcome (as long as they take a test to judge how introverted they are) non-introverted women are welcome as well. The girls don't (so far) have to take a test. They had to let some rather bawdy broads in lately along with the boys cause several true introverts had left the club. Membership was down. As long as the new girls and boys behave themselves, nobody will claim to have received photo's of their genitalia. There are I think just three things ninnies are forbidden to discuss:

(1) Sex
(2) Politics
(3) Anything interesting

So now, thanks to Dr. Rodney Luther King (ME!) anyone with a pulse who sometimes likes to be alone, from Florida to Minnesota and New York to California, can be a ninnie. Well, anyone but a ferrerman that is. You have to have some degree of exclusivity. I can live with that.

Besides, only the really cool ninnies get to go offshore...

The People Have Spoken

Well, actually they haven't spoken as much as they have shouted so that other people can't speak. But in a sense, they have spoken in that their screaming rants seem to be saying a resounding "NO!" to national healthcare and a resounding "YES" to insurance company profits.

Multi-gazillion dollar corporations are what have made this country what it is today and, by golly, they WILL take us to the Armeggedon and, damnit, that is the way Baby Jesus wants it.

This seems to be what the republicans are screaming at town halls all across the country. Remember when McCain wanted to debate Obama only at town halls? Was the man deaf? You can't hear a thing with all those republicans screaming. If it weren't for Jon Stewart and Keith Olberman watching FOXNEWS for me, I would have no idea that these idiots were screaming about "death panels" for Sarah Palins folks and her Down Syndrome baby and that this was the basis of ObamaCare. Awfull. I mean- who knew?

So the people have spoken and they don't want any of this communist socialist healthcare that Obama wants to force on us and we should do just fine with the medicare and private insurance that has been so wonderfull ever since insurance was invented.

But, screaming is not going to help anything. If you scream too long and too loud you will get a sore throat. Then you'll have to go see a doctor. Who the fuck can afford that?! You gotta be a rich republican or a congressman or senator for that.

So, here's my solution. MANDATORY HEALTH INSURANCE. Think about it. It worked for car insurance. They noticed that millions of people were driving around with little or no insurance on their vehicles. They hired people to study the problem. I think these people were called "lobbyists". They determined that un-insured motorists were costing billions of dollars each year in damage to their profits. Despicable. The carnage!

So, they lobbied Congress or whoever about this travesty and got mandatory liability insurance passed in all states. This means if you have an '86 Buick and you crash into someone with a new Audi and you kill them, you have to be able to pay them 10 grand so that a qualified Doctor can pronounce them dead. If you don't have mandayory health insurance, you will be fined (say, $100) and be told to get it. This process will repeat itself at the discretion of the police who will recognize very quickly that it is also a money-maker for their municipality.

That's what it's all about. Your friends and neighbors are screaming in town halls and seriously thinking about violent revolution in this country...to protect the interests and quarterly reports of multi-billion dollar entities like insurance companies. Barak Obama is not planning to enslave the USA. We're already slaves. We're slaves to the corporations. We're both whore and john to the pimps that are the banks, the oil companies, insurance and on and on. They all want a piece of us and they're all getting it whether it be taxes, interest or how we are treated when we get sick. And they all want more. Our money is a house of cards that can collapse at anytime. Maybe- maybe- the powers that be can keep this from happening. I doubt it. If they might be too greedy for our own good, how can we trust them not to be too greedy for their own good? Where does it end?

It makes me sick to see my fellow Americans behave this way. They are like the rat in a concentration camp helping the guards to get another ration of food.
To hell with everyone else! *I* live another day!

That's what *they* count on...

Mystery Man

We had to go into one of the unproductive meetings we had at the restaurant where Larry and I worked. The Greek would scream about how the entire staff sucked and was fucking ruining his business. he would eventually calm down, the meeting would adjourn and we would go out drinking. i hadn't worked with Larry long so i thought we ought to go out and get something to eat and chat a bit before we hit the bars. In those days, I liked restaurants a lot more than I do now. I had a professional curiousity about how other places did things. Plus dinner would be a more civilized way of getting to know Larry better than a noisy bar.

But there was to be no getting to know Larry better. I had already ascertained from work that he was a fairly quiet guy. I understood that. I'm not a real chatterbox myself. I figured that polite dinner conversation was in order. I asked Larry where he had gone to school.

"I'm not saying", he replied. "Why do you need to know that?"
I didn't need to know that. It was just a simple, innocuous question, one that anyone who had ever gone to school before could answer.

Not Larry. That and where he had grown up, where he lived now and even- and i'm serious about this- his last name, were not for public consumption.

Wow. I work with the guy, drink beer with him and was sitting down to a meal with him, and he wouldn't even say where he had gone to highschool.

He told me that he would never lie. He opted instead to not discuss his personal life with anyone, at all.

Well, that's weird but, I really didn't much care. If mundane information was top-secret in his life, that was his business. Fast forward a couple of decades, and I am the same way on the internet. Some people IRL will tell you there whole life story within ten minutes of knowing you. Some people take longer to open up.

A few months after that informative dinner, our cocktail waitress, Bonnie, asked for a ride to her boyfriend's bar. She promised a couple of free drinks if one of us would take her. I said sure. I knew enough about her boyfriend to not like him. He was a coke dealer, he carried a 45 and his bar served just about anyone near the age of 16 or better. That was his business. We figured we'd check it out for a couple of beers and move on.

Between closing our bar and "a few beers" we found ourselves closing the dealers bar. After last call we finished our beers outside by our cars and watched the under aged crowd stagger about. Larry was telling me a story about whatever when I saw Bonnie approach the boyfriend. She was crying. Next, he threw her on the ground. I rushed over.

I told him to get his fucking hands off of her. He looked at me incredulous and asked why.

Because, I told him, you don't hit women!

I thought about the 45. I thought about the six bouncers moving into position. I thought about beating his ass but there were now seven reasons not to to this.

The kid was done man-handling her. His lead bouncer went over to talk to him. The others eye-balled me. What would happen?

The bouncer came to me and thanked me. I appreciated that. He asked me if I would take her home. Bonnie was beyond hysterical by now and her only other option was the drunk boyfriend. That couldn't be good.

Go home with this guy, Bonnie, he said, He'll take care of you.

I led Bonnie back to my car. I had forgotten about Larry. Incredibly, he began to pick up his story where he had left off. I sarcastically thanked him for having my back and told him i'd deal with him later. Un-fucking-believable.

In the car, Bonnie was as inconsolable as a wounded child. She seemed to hyperventilate as she tried to talk through her tears. She refused to tell me where she lived. She wanted only to go to "his" house. As I drove out of range, I told her that wasn't gonna happen. She had parents. Where did they live? My apartment was an option but, not a good one. I had neighbors who appreciated my quiet existence even if they didn't say so. After ten of the longest, loudest minutes of my life, we agreed that I would take her to the boyfriend's parents house. I was only reasonably sure that he lived elsewhere but, if I met a mom and dad, I had done all I could. Daddy had raised him, daddy could deal with him. I explained the circumstances to the folks, and headed off, disgusted with Larry, Bonnie and the dealer.

Life can turn on a dime and stop on a penny. Bonnie wasn't physically hurt by the punk. In his altered state, shooting me could have been an option. As it was, he had displayed no pistol. The bouncers could have gone to town on me. But, in the end, nobody got hurt. I was disappointed in Larry, of course but, it's not like we were old school buddies... Least ways I came out of that night unscathed and newly armed with the knowledge that Larry could not be counted on in combat situations. Some guys are friends and you just know about them. Some guys you just drink with and wonder why.

I got over my anger at Larry but kept him at a distance. Bonnie quit her job the next day. Several weeks later I learned that Larry and Bonnie had been having a secret affair, before, during and after that night. Funny that the motherfucker never mentioned that over beers...

Some people you never really know. Others you know too well. Even if you don't know where they went to highscool.

TOO FUNNY!

Regular non-readers of this blog (of which there are millions) know that I've recently had issues with some of the people who refer to themselves as the 'innies' in the Topix world. These innies (or ninnies as I refer to them) are the select sub-group of the 'regulars' (dregs) who post day and night on Topix. (Note: though a lot of people are regular posters, not all posters are regulars. It's pretty much that simple)

Topix recently- for whatever reason- dropped it's association with the Chicago Tribune. It was probably money. Isn't everything about money? This threw a lot of people's lives into chaos. Where would they find Amy and Abby!? How would they get through the workday without Topix!? People tried posting on the new Trib forum and didn't like it. Topix put all the threads that had been on Trib Topix in the past onto a forum called The Chicago Forum. It's all the same to me. Near as I can figure, Topix is it's own entity and the trib was just a sponser. Topix is world-wide. There are forums for small towns in the US. It can be acessed in freaking Viet Nam and India. It's the INTERNET kids- the WORLD WIDE WEB. It's bigger than all of us.

Or is it? The dreg who portrays herself/himself as a psychologist, 'found' several threads from the past and posted them everywhere she could so that others could re-live or experience past whacky hi-jinks. What fun! Another dreg, one who is quite irrational in his ways, saw these revived threads not as a happy wind-fall but as a offering from Topics, a 'thank you' for not just making Topix what it is today but for BEING Topix...

I'm paraphrasing because I don't know how to link or cut and paste but, in his eyes, Topix was targetting them with these revived threads because they brought a good sized following to Topix- that people sought them out on Topix...

My God! This side of Donald Trump have you ever seen such self-importance? Usually someone has to be face down in a mirror of Peruvian marching powder to have such ego.

I suggested that he/they try not posting for a day. Topix would either shut down or beg them to come back. Maybe even pay ! Call me cruel but I like to feed an ego 'till it explodes. But, this is the same guy who chastized a young regular for taking up too much of the dregs time with her young drama- valuable time that he and the dregs could otherwise be spending helping others (!). Then I think they discussed threesomes and, well, he's an expert at that...

Of course, the irrational dude is serious. If I made people like this up, you wouldn't believe me?

Many of the regulars (and even some of the dregs) ARE kind and helpfull people. Some are funny and insightfull. The problems discussed each day in Amy and Abby are problems that millions of people experience and want to talk about. Anybody can glean some valuable info from these threads.

But, only an irrational dreg can believe that they ARE Topix. He may not always drink beer, but when he does, i'm sure he drinks Dos Equis.

I will close now. I'm off to peruse an Obama thread. There's about a hundred of them. Hey, do you suppose he knows that? Do you suppose he cares?

That's Politics

My family is very political. Except for brother Pat (who must have been dropped on his head as a baby) we are all liberal democrats. We all cried tears of joy when Barack H. Obama was elected President of the United States. When those against us cried tears of despair for the man's election, well, we weren't going to let them rain on our parade. Oh well, that's politics. One team wins and the other loses. Kinda like baseball. The game goes on despite who wins it all from year to year. The game is bigger than this years champion, last years or the next. That's baseball.

Remember in the sixties when some hippie wag declared that, "The revolution will be televised!"? Well, I don't know what he was smoking...but, it seemed very profound at the time.

I don't think though that this nostradumbass knew that in the future that television would have such a profound impact on American culture and politics. I think he meant that "the revolution" would be reported by television, shown on the nightly news- not created by television. I don't think that the guy figured on a FOXNEWS. Who did?

Jon Stewart did a great piece on The Daily Show illustrating how FOXNEWS manufactured the current disruptions at various town hall meetings. Talk about a news cycle. They create the vitriol, suggest that people repeat said vitriol to the powers that be and then they REPORT it as news! Truly fucking amazing. This is why I get all my FOXNEWS fron Jon Stewart and Keith Olberman. If I must listen to such bullshit, I want it sweetened with the milk of human comedy.

If there is a revolution as they seem to be calling for, it will be televised and it will be "Brought to you by, the good folks at FOXNEWS- where we're always 'fair and balanced'...by Halliburton (a subsidary of your friends at KBR) and by Wall Street-' We didn't see this depression coming but, what the fuck, let us do what we want!'"

America is and mightcould always be, the greatest country in the history and in the future of this world. The very bottom line of this whole mess is that the majority of us chose a black man as our leader. FOXNEWS and every asshole on every political thread in any venue of the internet can deny this all they want- and accuse me and others of playing the race card- but, these people are upset because we elected a "nigger" as president. It is that simple. It IS that wrong. I WILL be that honest about it.

America right now is like a spoiled brat of a 16 year old child. The house this child lives in is a warm, comfortable home. There is food on the table, the shelter is a good home. It is a good life.

The child needs nothing but WANTS everything. And, when does that child want it? NOW! The kid "deserves" and demands it RIGHT NOW! Why, because it's "unfair!" Other people have this-that and the other thing! I want that!

There's no talking to a child like this. You should have seen it coming back when they promised to hold their breath until they turned blue. You hoped that they'd grow out of it. But, now they are threatening to run away- start their own family. TO HELL WITH THIS FAMILY!, they cry.

Enough with the metaphors. These greedy republicans know it's all about money and power. God forbid they wait four years and create a candidate who can defeat Obama (though I doubt such a man exists and I'm certain it ain't the woman they have in mind...). No, they have to try to destroy America in these four years to have a chance in 2012. Yeah, fuck America. Destroy this country to prove how much you love it! If we're fighting in the streets in four years it's ONLY because the majority of us foolishly decided to falsely elect a nigger/muslim/not born here/communist/marxist/every-thing-FOX-can-think-of...PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

Yes, he's my president. He's your president too. You don't like it- deal with it. If you can't deal with it, fuck you.

And, go clean up your room, America. As long as you live under my roof, it's my rules...