Last night I caught parts of the CBS show "Undercover Boss", a program I have long since passed on because if you've seen one episode, you've seen them all. I would have to believe that after the first season, the premise being known to the public, you couldn't fool too many employees with the "this guy/gal is participating in a reality show" scam that explains why a film crew is following "the new guy" around as he trains for a job. The episodes are predictable and derivative in that the undercover boss always seems to be placed with nice employees who tend to have money troubles and sick kids that make for feel good stories and feel really good stories when the generous, corporate boss rewards them with cash, vacations and life-saving cancer treatments for little Timmy. The takeaway might be that corporate rule truly rocks! Just pick out a few employees here and there, lavish them with gifts and keep the rest of them as you found them. It's like a game show where a chosen few walk out with fabulous prizes. The bosses, incidentally, may walk out with a better knowledge of how to improve their business but, if nothing else, they get some nationwide publicity.
One humorous aspect is that though they may be the boss, they rarely are any good at the jobs they pay people to do. That is where it gets real for me. Most bosses I've had couldn't do my job. The Ferrerman Principle is that some people achieve a level of incompetence that highlights their general uselessness and life has no choice put to make them the boss because they can't do anything else. I had a boss who bragged that he was a better bartender than anyone of us. We knew better but, one busy night he jumped behind the bar "to help us" and I put up with about 10-15 minutes of that told him to get out from my bar. He had no clue and was in our way, making a temporarily bad situation ridiculous. He was better suited to being the owner's son. It was the same in painting, even if the guy had actually worked his way through the company. Stories for another day but, those guys usually were back-stabbing rat bastards who weren't really good workers. They just kept an eye on people. It always amazed me that if you were the guy who snitched to get your position, why would you rely on snitches when you took over? These were scumbags who were after your job, if you were paying attention to your own history. Dumb.
On this episode of "Boss", the guy was the owner of a bar/restaurant chain called "Bikinis". The concept is cute chicks with bikini-clad spankable bottoms serving cocktails and wings. Where'd he get that idea? Well, business didn't seem to good at any of the Texas locations. I missed the opening so I don't know what the ploy was, but with it being a female wait and bar staff, all he could really pretend to be training for was kitchen or maybe manager. He worked the bar and followed a waitress around and did not wear a bikini. Evidently the bartender, knowing she would be on camera, opted to wear a t-shirt. Odd choice in a bikini bar but she wasn't comfortable on camera in beachwear.
That was a violation. She also displayed a laissez faire attitude towards a power-drinking customer who was downing double whiskey shots with a beer back. The "boss" was undercoverly concerned and wondered if he should break character and deal with the potentially fiscally responsible situation. The bartender wasn't as concerned. Eventually a manager stepped in to cut the guy off. He was ambulatory enough and not driving (well, according to him...) and he left without incident. As a ex-bartender who cut-off a few thousand drunks, her lack of concern concerned me. As a guy who watches reality TV though, I wondered about the editing.
At the awards portion of the show, the bartender was rewarded with a pink slip. I don't think this usually happens on such a feel good show. The boss cited her non-handling of the drunk, her t-shirt and a remark she had made about the job not being her life's work. She just wasn't Bikini material. She left the set in angry tears. Maybe she's on her way to see a lawyer but, Texas is a "right to work" state and the unadvertised side effect of that is "right to be fired"- for any reason. I'm betting she had to sign some sort of waiver for the show. Her dismissal on national TV sucked but, she likely move on to something better where she isn't expected to undress for the camera.
That wasn't the odd one though. It's kinda fun when they sit down with the now undisguised undercover boss and learned they had been duped by wigs and make up. Some look genuinely surprised. Maybe they don't watch much TV? The scheme is that they are supposed to meet with someone to give their evaluation of the "new guy" and that's when it's revealed that the "new guy" to be reviewed is the corporate boss guy before them. Yikes if you are going to get fired but, payday if not. The cook got a raise, back pay and money for a vacation with his family. The manager lady got a smaller raise, cash, and new teeth and a growth removed for her daughter. And, of course, the waitress got new tits.
I'm not kidding. The gal who 'trained' him as a server had confided in him that she dreamed of having bigger "boobies", a full C-cup to be exact. His beef with her was that she talked on the phone too much so, if she ditched the phone for six months, he would pay for breast augmentation. I'm still not kidding.
I wonder if he can write that off on his taxes as a business improvement?
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