Tuesday, May 31, 2011

It ain't over 'til it's over, y'all!

If you watch way too much History Channel as I do, you know full well that it's the 150th anniversary of the Civil War. If you live in the North, you know this marks the beginning of the war that ended 146 years ago. If you live in the South, you know that it began 150 years ago but, hasn't ended yet....

I've lived about 1/3rd of my life in the South and have many southern friends. This gives me leave to speak about the *differences* moreso than some southerners I've known who disparaged the North while never having visited nor lived here. (Ferrerman's note: I once had a boy from Kentucky convinced that we didn't have any game up North because southerners had killed all the deer. The boy was stupid but, he wanted to believe this so, he did. He had claimed we don't hunt. WE do. I don't.)

Anyways, aside from geography and accents, there is really no difference between Northern Americans and Southern Americans. Well....wait a sec....I think it's safe to say that, after 150 years there are exactly zero "Yankees" who wake up each morning screaming: "WOO HOO! WE WON!!!!" while there are surely a thousand or so "Rebs" who lose sleep at night wondering "how the heck did we lose???" No one up North cares  that "we" won. Most, if they think at all about the Civil War, likely think about it as a horrific chapter in American history that had something to do with slavery....

You know that, educated in the North, I was taught that the Civil war WAS NOT about slavery? I don't recall what they told our gradeschool selves was the cause but, IT WAS NOT ABOUT SLAVERY! I think this was a compromise reached after the war because neither side wanted to face the reality that several hundred thousand white men died for black folks. I know your average white, southern male does not want to believe that so, they call it "The War Of Northern Agression" and mumble something about 'state's rights'....

So, it was about slavery. Other shit too but, like a divorce, your spouse cheated on you and it doesn't matter that they also squeezed the toothpaste from the middle. They fucked their boss/neighbor/maid and that is what brought about the end of the marriage.
I bring this up because a HC promo for the show, "American Pickers" shows a drunk, old redneck talking about "yankees rolling up on (his) property", referring to Mike and Frank.  I don't know if the guy was drunk but, judging by his eyes, he musta been hitting it pretty hard the night before or maybe up all night crying about the war. Maybe both. OK, he mighta been swimming in his cement pond. Whatever, his attitude annoys me. HE annoys me. Even if he's just being cute and stereotypical, he's a few generations from being directly affected by the war and, unless the idiot is upset about Civil Rights- and especially if he is- he can go fuck himself. I don't wanna hear about it! War's over, we won- I don't wanna hear about it being anything but history.

Speaking about modern north/south *rivalry*, NASCAR legend Darrell Waltrip pointed out that, if you go maybe 20 miles outside of any big city, "you're in the country". True that. From Maine to California, country is as country does, whether it's frying chicken or putting old Chevy's up on blocks in front of the trailer. I promise you, city folk are looked on with suspicion whether it's Memphis or Chicago. I believe Darrell is from Franklin, Kentucky and about the war itself he also noted that "....Kentucky served refreshments to both sides". I recall pointing that out to the boy from Kentucky and smiling as I told him my grandfather- my daddy's daddy- was born in Kentucky. I'm sure it upset him that someone like me could have southern roots and also be taller than than him.