Tipping in the time of Sodom and Gomorrah

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Gay-Restaurant-Server-Stiffed-Tip-Customer-Do-Not-Agree-Lifestyle-231998211.html

This seems to be happening a lot lately. By a lot, I mean about once a week. Church folks are rising up against the tyranny of the homosexual lifestyle in the restaurant industry and telling gay and lesbian servers that they are getting stiffed- and not in the good way- for their gayness! They are being told in no uncertain, passive/aggressive terms written on receipts that, "NO TIP FOR YOU!"  is today's special!

Is their something in the Sunday sermons about this or are these people just cheap?

This Ferrerman tended bar for about 15 years. No one ever not-tipped me and said it was for gay reasons. I know this because I'm not typing this from the prison library having received a life sentence for beating the hell out of the scumbag... Not everyone tips a bartender. You just accept that. Some don't out of ignorance. Some are cheap. Some are all that plus assholes.

Really, only one instance when a customer did not tip and explained why stands out in my memory. Some piggish-looking guy had been taking up space at the bar, drinking Southern Comfort Manhattans. He wasn't a regular of any sort. We were located near a shopping center. I had never seen him before and would likely have never seen him again. He chatted me up a fair amount about this and that. Rather unremarkable until, upon leaving he scooped up his money and stated: "Well, times are tough! Gotta keep track of every dollar..."

I lit into this sorry bastard pretty good. I didn't care about his two dollars like he did. Take your money and walk away from the bar with no explanations. There are no reasons in this situation. Well, no good ones. If you give a dance, you gotta pay the band. If you chose to go out drinking, you should tip. If you can't afford to tip, stay home with a bottle. At least keep your mouth shut when you leave. 

It's not like people had more tact back then. I knew waiters and waitresses who had chased non-tippers outside to berate them. As a bartender, I made $5 (usually in cash) an hour plus tips. This was in 20th century dollars, I might add. I dealt with a volume of people, most of which tipped something so it all added up and the money was good. But, a server works their ass off for pretty much each table and the hourly rate they get is a wash with taxes. They survive strictly on tips. Do not fuck them. Poor service sure enough does happen and one is under no obligation to reward that but, take it up with the manager. They need to know what is going on with their employees. Some people leave a penny to show their dissatisfaction rather than nothing which might mean they 'forgot'. I couldn't do that. A server usually knows when they are incompetent or having a bad day. It'll come up in conversation. Even so many years removed from the business, I can tell poor service, from a bad night, from incompetence pretty easily. If the server blames the bar or the kitchen for their fumbling, you can pretty much bet your life you're looking at THE problem. Blaming the bar was how waitstaff was trained at one place I worked. Larry Mysterioso and I were standing behind a nearly empty bar one Saturday night when the Greek pig owner came out to yell at us for being "slow" in our service to the staff. A new waiter had blamed us for his incompetence. The Greek pig noticed right away that we had absolutely nothing to do but, he was never one to let outrage go not unleashed. He screamed and went back to expediting in the kitchen. Later he came out and sorta apologized and asked us to keep an eye on that server. Duh! Their training had been known to us for some time. One of my better waitresses told me of hearing another waitress schmooze-talking to one of her tables for ten minutes and then walk about 4 steps over to the next table and, with a straight face, explain that she was late in getting there to take their order because the bartender was slow! Unfuckingbelievable. Who knows how often that happened? Probably most people failed to see through it.

There was also an incident recently where a Xtian took the time to write out something about their giving the Lord 10% so why should they give the server that or more?

Again: STAY HOME!

Back in the day, a girlfriend dragged me to one of those mega-churches. It was non-denominational and had a rock band and audiovisuals that made for a very pleasurable service. The 'preacher' had been chaplain to the Chicago Bears at some point. I'm not religious, having been forced to attend church as a child but, I did enjoy the show for everything it was not. This was in the Northwest suburbs and it was a kick to see the decidedly monied crowd with their furs and jewelry for a Wednesday night service. There were often a few Chicago Bears in attendance. The church didn't do weddings, baptisms or any of the usual church stuff. I think they just printed money. The young preacher had no problem proclaiming that they had hit the $50k the previous Sunday so, PRAISE THE LORD, THE LOOT's BEEN PASSED! I didn't care for the hypocrisy but, this guy gave good sermons!

One night he chastised the congregation for stiffing the servers at the local restaurant. Evidently large groups had been doing this for awhile at a nearby pancake house. His whole sermon that evening was about this. I, of course, was a bartender and my girl was a waitress so this thrilled us both. He went on about how hard servers worked and how they depended on tips. It was his best sermon since the one where he wanted to meet the person who was spreading rumors about him and his wife being adulterers, in the parking lot of the church, to beat the shit out of him. There would be no turning the other cheek except to punch that other cheek or kick that other ass cheek! This appealed to my most primal Ferrerman instincts. Does your minister talk like that? It was pretty neat.

WWJD?  Jesus would probably address tipping like this: "Render onto Flo or Alice, 15% for decent service and 20% for really good service. And judge not Terry for his gayness for it's not like he's doing it in front of you. He's just trying to make a living bringing you food. Is that so wrong?"

And, yay verily, don't piss off that Ferrerman behind the bar! Hell hath no fury....

I added the last one myself.

So, IDK if it's an organized effort on the part of the Xtian reich or if it's just an internet thing that has caught on with the cheapskates. You may think your server is gay or lesbian but, what's that really got to do with your dining experience? If they got your food out right and timely, do you really have to care how they take their genitalia when they're off duty and tip or not tip accordingly?

Amen.