Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Imagine hairy voters

Imaginary people of the republican persuasion on the internet are quick to point out that Barack Obama did NOT physically kill Osama Bin Laden. Oh. Well, OK, no one of the democratic persuasion has actually claimed that he had. It would seem kinda stupid to say that he had. Yet they say this, a lot.

Well, people are kinda stupid. You may have noticed this. Imaginary people on the internet come from the same stupid portion of the population where Indiana or Missouri congressmen come from, who have stupid ideas about rape and the birthing of babies under absolutely any circumstances. They poop in their pants, stumble over thoughts and their own feet just like non-internet idiots do.

And evidently, they vote!

Yikes!

Anybody who is 'undecided' at this point in the election is an idiot. Their opinion should not matter. But, it does.

It's storming! There's shelter over there. Do I go to the shelter or wait to see if the lightning gets me? Someone could come along with an umbrella. They might have sandwiches too. What if the sandwiches are soggy? Is there any place to sit inside or will I have to stand? What if there's a hole in the roof? I might get wet anyway...

Fucking-stupid-idiots! Sheesh- at least with reichtards you can see and hear their idiotic, hateful racism and- goddamn their asshole selves- at least they have a motherfucking opinion! Amazing but, that counts for something.

Maybe the undecideds are just undecided in hopes of getting on CNN and maybe getting discovered by a producer and becoming a movie star?

I saw you on CNN. You are just what I'm looking for! I need someone to play a beating victim in my next film. For realism, we're going to use actual baseball bats and actually kill you. Would you be OK with that?

Um, will the bats be aluminum or wood? I'm concerned about the environment...

The cable news folks keep saying that this election will be decided by undecided voters. One poll said that the typical undecided voter was a female, 18-29, with a low-income job and very little interest in politics. Yeah, sure. Let's let our nation's highest office be decided by Muffy . However the knuckleheads they parade after the debates do not reflect that demographic. They tend to look like your neighbors. Well, you know how stupid they are...

Undecideds should probably not be confused with independents. Those people are like bisexuals. They may be thinking : "Dick? Or pussy?" all the time but they will make up their minds. Undecideds eventually might too. They just won't know why. It won't be based on any deep thought or personal conviction. Maybe a coin toss?

Oh shit! Heads...or tails...what it it lands on it's edge....

And independents tend to simply be non-committal types  who like people to think they are free of party lines and maybe bolder and smarter than everyone else. Maybe one or five are. The others, just may like dick AND pussy. Good for them, I guess. They double their chances for weekend fun

Sigh. Every election is like this so, it's nothing new. That same guy in front of you at McDonald's trying to figure out the Dollar Menu will wind up in a voting booth, the first Tuesday in November, and ponder that at the last moment too. Like it's so fucking hard...

I can't wait until it's over. Some people are just getting started...

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Very useful blog. Keep up the good work.

Maggie said...

Haha! Yeah, what Anonymous said.

Barbi said...

Was the Ferrerman mad when he wrote this? Good!
There are Muffys everywhere!

ex-ferrer said...

Not so much mad as, FIRED UP!We need to enjoy voting while we can....

Sue J said...

Surely, if they are undecided at this late stage they will probably not even bother to vote.

ex-ferrer said...

That would have to be an option with these folks. It might be best that they don't...