Sunday, September 23, 2012

A clean, well-lighted, space

Probably the most over-used expression of perceived internet superiority is: "I'm living rent-free in your head!!!!!"

Someone might have zinged somebody really good with this line once but, now stalkers use it, as well as various other obsessive posters, who will drone on and on about someone and then spring the "rent-free" as soon as they post to them or mention them. In real life, a crazed stalker might say this after his victim screams when he pulls back her shower curtain. No wonder she is there everywhere he goes in life! She needs him!

So, it's supposed to be a put-down but 99% of the time it is just ironic. I was thinking about this, this morning when one of my friends posted a funny on Facebook about it being suspicious about "joggers always finding the bodies...."

Well, how about those prosecutors? They know stuff about the murders that even the defense doesn't know and they are the accused! Yet the judge- sitting right there- never considers that the prosecutor might have done it. On Topix they would...

But, Topix- we know by now- lives in my head, rent-free, I might add. Technically, anything and anyone you think about or have ever thought about, lives in your head. Homer Simpson, naked and banging Marge, doggie-style is in your head right now. I just put it there! Tee hee!

I wonder if headaches are literally someone doing remodeling work in your head? You just pray it's up to code and they know what they're doing.

Ya know, I think I deal with these crazy people so that you all- dedicated non-readers- don't have to. These people may be imaginary  and on the internet but, they really exist in life and/or in other people's imaginations. This is to say, nothing happens on Topix that doesn't happen in real life. We should all be glad these people busy themselves on the internet rather than breaking into our bathrooms while we shower. If say, a Kevin, was a murderer coming up for a parole hearing, he'd be pissed that his victim's family would regularly attend his hearings.


"You people- AGAIN!? You're not over this yet???? I guess I live rent-free in your heads! Geez!!"

Misappropriation of logic is not limited to politics or the internet. It's real life too.

I make jokes here and in real life. Not everyone gets that. Topix is full of people you shouldn't make sudden moves around. I make sudden moves...Some of these moves- IRONY ALERT!!!!!!- happen in people's heads!!!!

Just like real life has "lookism" where you just don't like someone at first look and that's the way it is, Topix has that too, without  actual looking though. I promise you I get a feel for a poster right away. I like to think I can gauge their sincerity (or lack of) pretty quickly and usually make the right call. I've read people wrong before. I can't say that people always read me wrong. If they don't like me, there's probably a good reason for this. Let's face it: Life comes down to good versus evil. I'm a liberal....

There is no one on the internet or IRL who doesn't like me who I wish did like me. There are good reasons these assholes don't like me. I'm good with keeping it that way. If the Angela's like me- yikes! That makes me stinky lady parts too! That's as bad as the Kevin's who say: "I like you, Ferrerman. That's why I'm going to kill you last!" (I get that a lot! Everyone on Topix is an evil genius, it seems.)

I joke about "anti-Ferrerman sentiment" but, ya know, without it, i'd be a real jerk, loved by some of the worst people in the world.

I keep an open mind but, not really looking to renting it out, just giving it away here. I really don't think my enemies could afford this neighborhood...

1 comment:

Barbi said...

haha...so imagine a real life woman who says only "get better" a lot, thinks the most scathing insult is mocking a man's penis size (event thought she can't possibly know) and purrs.
I am looking forward to a column that lists the standard Topix insults.
Like, "you're fat."