Interview With The Ferrerman

So, how's it hanging?

Ferrer: Surprisingly, to the left.

What's up with the spankings thing?

F: Have you seen women's bottoms?

Good point. You're known to be really hard on incredibly stupid people on the threads. Some people think 'too hard'. Does sarcasm help or hinder with these idiots?

F: No, not too hard. If I fuck with somebody, it's because they've already proved to me that they're a reactionary 'tard whose only purpose is to provoke and regurgitate reichwing rhetoric. If you disagree with the president, that's fine. If your disagreement is based on lies, you're an idiot. At it's base, politics is about right and wrong. When you condemn right because the person espousing it is of the *wrong* party, you've lost credibility if not your soul. If there were a republican in the White House right now, pushing- let's call it McCainCare- these people would fucking love it! Same bill, different president, different opinion.

Would you support McCainCare?

E: Absolutely. I'd prefer the single-payer or an extension of Medicare to all. It doesn't matter to me whose idea it was, who implements it. Remember- ObamaCare's model was based on 'RomneyCare' in Massachusetts. Other presidents- even Nixon- saw the need for universal healthcare. They either couldn't or wouldn't pull it off. Obama did. Sheesh, if the guy cured cancer, these assholes would be whining about how he hated funeral directors and grave diggers. Buncha fucking whiners!

Would you like a beer?

F: Sure.

Back to fucking with 'tards: You're being trolled now by some of the stupidest morons on Topix. Are you scared?

F: (laughs) No. If Topix were the old west (call it TopixTown) I'd be the top gun with every punk trying to make a name for themselves. If you come at me calling me "Ferryman" or trash my blog, which BTW, has millions of not so dedicated non-readers, you're already on TopixTown's Boothill. You just don't know it.

You make this look easy. Is it?

F: Yep. I could phone this in. Well, if I had an iPhone or a Blackberry or something like that, I could. In reality, I have a lap top.

Do the ladies really call you "Two Nines"?

F: Not anymore. I carry a Glock .40 now so calling me "One Nine" would just be silly, don't you think?

Who's asking the questions here?!

F: You are. Sorry.

Don't forget that! So, what's your mom call you?

F: "Son", I think because I'm so bright and- so far- I rise every day.

Had to get that in there, didn't ya?

F: Yep. The conversation is lagging. I often fall back on humor in these situations.

Your critics hate that. Why are they humorless as well as soulless bastards?

F: Look at the left. You've got Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Bill Maher, some really funny and spankable lesbians- lot's of humor! Now look at the right. Name an intentionally funny republican pundit. They've got nothing. And no one. It's the same in the threads. They've cornered the market on hate and anger. We get to laugh at them. We do it very well. They help us out by being comical idiots.

What's it like being Ferrerman?

F: It's all good. I'm like a superhero in that it's a secret identity. Men want to be Ferrerman and women want to be with him. So far, that hasn't been reversed and I'm really happy with that.

What's your Krytonite?

F: Women's bottoms. No question. The same thing that gives me strength- my raisin de eatery, like the French say- can also bring me down. Gotta be wary of false bottoms. I could tell you stories....

Some other time, perhaps?

F: Yeah sure. Why not?